Since there’s nothing else worth watching this weekend (Ulster’s season having finished), Flair99 has some top tips on Top14 matches:
Three intriguing games in France this week-end.
Friday at 20:45: Racing vs Stade Français
The winner gets to the semi, the loser goes on vacation (about time). So Paris vs Paris, about 5kms separate their two stadia. Subplot, Fickou who played 90% of the season for Stade now plays for Racing. Probable winner: Racing.
Saturday 17:45: Biarritz vs Bayonne
Biarritz, ProD2 finalist, host Bayonne, who finished 13th in the T14. About 5kms between the two towns. Winner stays – or climbs – to the T14, loser goes down or remains in ProD2. The biggest game in the Basque country since Asterix. Winner? Who knows, probably Bayonne.
Saturday 20:45: Bordeaux vs Clermont. The other QF.
Probable winner, Bordeaux.
LaR and Toulouse lie in wait.
And so does Galthié who’ll fly to Australia without his skipper (Ollivon sidelined for about 6 months) and all the players involved in the T14 final (they may play only in the third test).
And Deebee7‘s take on the SA squad picked to play the Lions:
Actually in terms of Bok selection, I think Lizo Gqoboka should be in ahead of Coenie Oosthuizen who’s scrummaging technique has always been suspect. As one scribe here put it, he’s been off the Bok radar for so long he may need a visa to get into the camp. Of the newcomers in the Bok set up, I love Joseph Dweba’s all-action style of play, I believe Jasper Wiese has been in excellent form for Tiggers, Wandisile Simelane is a classy operator in an otherwise journeyman Lions outfit, Aphelele Fassi is fast and exciting, whilst Rosko Specman is electric with ball in hand and has great 7s experience. The ones I’m not sure about are Yaw Penxe from the Sharks who has oodles of pace, but little else (so did Mapimpi to be fair before Rassie got his positional play and defence up to scratch) and I have no idea about Nicolaas Janse van Rensburg from Montpellier as a lock.
The squad has been picked with not just the two Georgia and 3 BIL Tests in mind, but also the SA ‘A’ side that will face the Lions, so I think some of the selections are expressly with that in mind – have the players in the Bok bosom, up until the SA ‘A’ match, so that they’re part of the structures and plans should any of them be called upon because of injury in the main squad. My pick for that SA ‘A’ side would be something like this, with F Steyn covering 10, 12 and 15, and Damian Willemse covering 10 and 15 as well. Think I’ve gone 5-3 split which is probably not what Rassie and Nienaber will do, but hey ho. So you could probably drop one of F Steyn or Willemse from the backs and put Rynard Elstadt in as an auxiliary loose forward.
The Lions should deal with that combination fairly easily given that it’s a scratch side, but there are some exciting players who’ll be looking to make a mark for the future and potentially the last two Tests and the 4N after that.
Props:
Thomas du Toit (Cell C Sharks, 12 caps, 0 pts)
Vincent Koch (Saracens, 21 caps, 0 pts)
Ox Nché (Cell C Sharks, 1 cap, 0 pts)
Coenie Oosthuizen (Sale Sharks, 30 caps, 20 pts)
Hookers:
Joseph Dweba (Bordeaux-Bègles, uncapped)
Scarra Ntubeni (DHL Stormers, 1 cap, 0 pts)
Locks:
Nicolaas Janse van Rensburg (Montpellier, uncapped)
Marvin Orie (DHL Stormers, 3 caps, 0 pts)
Jean-Luc du Preez (Sale Sharks, 13 caps, 10 pts) – I believe he’s played largely at lock this season?
Loose forwards:
Dan du Preez (Sale Sharks, 4 caps, 0 pts)
Kwagga Smith (Yamaha Júbilo, 6 caps, 0 pts)
Marco van Staden (Bulls, 3 caps, 0 pts)
Jasper Wiese (Leicester Tigers, uncapped)
Scrumhalves:
Sanele Nohamba (Cell C Sharks, uncapped)
Cobus Reinach (Montpellier, 14 caps, 30 pts) (difficult choice between him and H Jantjies as to who is 3rd choice behind Faf at the moment)
Flyhalf:
Morne Steyn (Bulls, 66 caps, 736 pts)
Midfielders:
Jesse Kriel (Canon Eagles, 46 caps, 60 pts) (Kriel to move to 12 or F Steyn to start there?)
Wandisile Simelane (Emirates Lions, uncapped)
Frans Steyn (Toyota Cheetahs, 67 caps, 141 pts)
Outside Backs:
Aphelele Fassi (Cell C Sharks, uncapped)
Sbu Nkosi (Cell C Sharks, 11 caps, 40 pts)
Rosko Specman (Toyota Cheetahs, uncapped)
Damian Willemse (DHL Stormers, 6 caps, 5 pts)
Onna telly this week
Friday 11th June
| Brumbies v Highlanders | 10:45 | Rugbypass |
| Zebre v Munster | 18:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Racing 92 v Stade Français | 19:45 | FreeSports / Premier Sports 2 |
| Leinster v Dragons | 20:15 | Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 12th June
| Rebels v Crusaders | 05:35 | Rugbypass |
| Bues v Western Force | 08:05 | Rugbypass |
| Waratahs v Chiefs | 10:45 | Rugbypass |
| Bath v Northampton | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Bristol v London Irish | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Exeter v Sale | 15:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Harlequins v Newcastle | 15:00 | BT Sport Extra |
| Wasps v Leicester | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
| Stormers v Lions | 15:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Sharks v Bulls | 17:15 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Bordeaux v Clermont | 19:45 | Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 13th June
| Scarlets v Edinburgh | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Ealing Trailfinders v Saracens | 16:30 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Today I learned that Belgian national footballers speak English to each other rather than Dutch, French or German.
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Is that cos the French-speakers can’t do the taal?
Lukaku can speak 5 or 6 languages if I remember right. Smart guy.
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@tomp
I assume it’s because English is all their second language.
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OT – also, English spoken louder and more slowly translates into all other languages which helps them buy beer on holiday.
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@craigs
Excellent point.
Also, when I used to go to Brussels a lot I’d get by speaking rubbish French. When I went on a day trip to Bruges I was warned not to try and speak French in Flanders – I’d be better off speaking English (less likely to piss off the locals).
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@OT
Years ago, I did an interrail trip with 2 friends and ended up in Brussels as one friend’s sister knew someone based at the EU (so we stopped with them 1 night) . He told us – no point trying to speak French with Flemings – it’ll be worse than yours…
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Try going to Aberdeen and conversing with the locals in English.
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They may be able to understand some of what you say but you won’t understand a word back.
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@chimpie
I’ve lived in Essex for 11.5 years and the locals still don’t understand me when I speak English. I think it might be me rather than them, though.
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You’re in occupied Essex tho, OT, as it was known to “real” Essex folk when I lived up near Braintree, so its probably them not you.
Where have all the Quins guys gone ? MVML, Karl, the Codfishes etc. Thought they would be popping in to celebrate.
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@sbt
Oh that’s a good point. There’s even a Pearly King & Queen round here, which there probably wasn’t in the days of Essex proper.
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MVML flounced
Codfishes & Karl pop in very occasionally. Lionz may bring some folks back
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British and Irish Lions: Williams; Adams, Henshaw, Aki, Van der Merwe; Biggar, Murray; Sutherland, Owens, Fagerson, Henderson, AW Jones (c), Beirne, H Watson, Conan
Replacements: George, W Jones, Furlong, Lawes, Faletau, Price, Farrell, A Watson.
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phony war stage – but a chance to make a mark for some………………..
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Talking of “absent friends” – I saw Avsfan on a Grauniad thread a few days back…..
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“Try going to Aberdeen and conversing with the locals in English.”
I must have mentioned this before, but I have a mate here from Cork. We were in the pub with a friend of his from back home.
At first I thought they were being a bit rude by speaking Irish but I eventually realised they were actually speaking English, my mate had reverted back to his real voice.
I’m told I do the same on the phone but I don’t realise I’m doing it.
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There is a fair bit of bosch in that Lionz side.
They will tonk Japan.
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What did MVML flounce about? Was it me swearing that flip flops are the next best thing to walking around barefoot? I seem to remember he was horrified at the prospect of adults walking around barefoot.
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They will tonk Japan.
You read it here first.
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Yeah, Cork accent can be quite distinctive. It’s a big county with a biggish city, so you get regional variations within but generally a tendency to be tonal/sing-song plus a lot of distinctive idioms.
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@ticht
Three quarters of a pint and I start to sound like a minor character in Phoenix Nights.
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10 pints in and I start making sense. In fact, I become extremely eloquent, visionary and dare I say it, damned good looking. Strangely, the effects seem to wear off with sobriety. Neither state improves my dance skillzz.
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Looks weak, too many scots etc. etc.
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Would have thought they’d put japan away.
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Cork certainly can produce quite an impenetrable accent. One of my colleagues is barely comprehensible and that’s him making an effort to tone it down.
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Told the story before of a trip to Maputo with Irish clients when I was translating for them between them and the Mozambican companies we met with over three days. All the meetings were in English, but I was the only person in the room who could understand both the Irish and Mozambicans!
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Mrs Craigs and I went to Alston once and were hosted by a lovely couple in a B&B. The guy was from Carlisle and it took me a second to fully understand his sentences but I got there. I told this to Mrs Craigs thinking, having been born in Carlisle, lived in Brampton, Scotland and Wigan for large swathes of her childhood, she would have no problem understanding him. Turns out she was just nodding along.
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That trip I had bleached my hair (it was the early noughts, shut up) and I went into a pub to ask where the nearest cash point was or if they took card payments. Some guy turned round to me and said very clearly that he ‘knows a bummer when I see one and you’re a bummer. I’ve got a skinhead mate who is also a bummer and I’ll get him to bum you’.
I thanked the girl at the bar, said I liked men with long hair and went to another pub.
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Very generous of him to match make for you.
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it’s that classic northern friendliness
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@Craigs
good job he liked you
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The dog’s training has paid off, and her rugby tackle technique is perfect. Low and hard – sent me sprawling to the ground. (She had the nerve to yelp!) Fortunately this was in a field, so no harm done.
Except when I returned to the car – parked about as far away as you can get from that particular spot, a good half hour’s walk – I discovered that I was phoneless. Phone had been in back pocket. Cue cursing and trudging.
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you need a second phone in the car so that you can ring the first to help you find it………………………………
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Sounds as though you speak from experience?
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But what if you lock yourself out of the car. Where does the third phone go?
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BBC headline on the Lions, “Eight Lions debutants to face Japan.”
Guardian headline on the Lions, “Lions leave England players on bench for curtain-raiser against Japan.”
Would have been nice if the Guardian had focussed on the positives.
Or perhaps leaving England players on the bench are the positives….
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I thanked the girl at the bar, said I liked men with long hair and went to another pub.
The end of a great bromance as I realise Craigs has no interest in bald men. Oh well. We’ll always have par rice. Boiled, not steamed.
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Chimpie, have Scotland lost yet? I realise they only kick off in 45 minutes but just checking. Or, can they do a Denmark and blast their way through the group?
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Doing a ‘Denmark’ would involve us scoring goals.
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We’re actually playing OK, but Croatia just have that wee bit extra quality up front.
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Yes!
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No!
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Bugger. That’s us done now. Modric, the talented wee bastard, has finished us.
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Bugger again. Bye bye Euros. Croatia just had too much quality this second half.
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The inability to score goals is quite something
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We’ve got the base of a decent team there Chimpie, we just need that bit of quality in key areas. One of them is up front, the other is central defence and we need a goalie who isn’t in his late 30s.
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We’ve got the base of a decent team there Chimpie, we just need that bit of quality in key areas.
Sounds like a copy and paste from the 6N. Unfortunately we can’t help you out because our football is shite. Mind you, after the Bulls got hammered by Benetton, you’d argue that our rugby is shite too. Lions clean sweep on tour.
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I recall Marshall performing magnificently as a 19/20 yo vs Barcelona – looks like it was 2004 during that run the the UEFA Cup final…time flies
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Trisk – the UEFA Cup was 2003, when Celtic had Rab Douglas in goal. Arguably if they’d had Marshall they might have won as I seem to remember Big Rab was at fault for at least one goal.
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Deebs – it’s OK, I’ve bought you a wig.
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