You wait bloody ages for an ATL, and then two turn up at once….
No prizes for guessing which is the work of Craigsman, and which of Deebee7.
The Glorious Series Continues
Pre/Ramble
So it’s a bit weird that, with a Lionz series in south Africa being poised with one game each, rugby fans seems quite deflated about the last match in this series. No fans, empty stadiums, accusations of biting, of slowing down the game, of racism, of influencing the referee have all played a part. But really it’s the fact that the rugby hasn’t set the world alight that’s the problem (Springbok tries aside) in this Craigsman’s opinion. Both sides seem to be playing low risk stuff seeing who breaks first. Kick, kick, kick. The Kiwis would lap this up. Form-wise, apart from the last half of the second game (and a bit in the first half of the first game) the Lions forwards have been able to get the dominance needed to win but they have been blunt in attack. Here’s hoping that rugby* wins and we get a game on Saturday. Let’s have a look at the teams innit.
LionzTM
So this makes me wonder what the feck Gats is playing at with his selection for the third test. I am but a simple accountant, unused to the complexities of rugby coaching, but I’m trying to work out some of the choices made at 9 and 10 and 21 and 22. Starting with a live wire scrum half and a … solid fly half and then ending with a … solid scrum half and a live wire fly half seems to be negating the strengths of each player. Either start with the live wire options and when the Springbok defence proves too miserly to score tries against or a nice healthy lead has been built, end with the … wise old heads who like to kick and do the game management stuff. Or, do the opposite to chase the game. What do I know? Everything else in the team seems reasonable. Courtney Lawes has done well to ignore the instructions from Dan Biggar and the rest of the pack looks solid. I would probably have Tadhg MK II in the finishers but hey ho. The back 3 look like they could negate a dastardly kicking game and we have two lumps in the centre to negate the Boks and the “amazing” Elliot Daly to come in against the tired legs at the end. So, I’m sanguine there.
Springboks
The Springboks look rubbish and will get hammered whatever happens look like a settled unit right now with the only changes have come from injury and OH MY GOD IT’S MORNE FECKING STEYNE!!!!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just more trolling from Rassie and we’ll see a last minute ‘injury’ and a proper player like Wynand Olivier will replace him. Just ignorant speculation on my part. Other than that, I can’t see anything to pick at. It’s a formidable side and Lionz supporters everywhere will have breathed a sigh of relief that Duane Vermeulen hasn’t yet come back from injury. I think they will rinse and repeat what worked in the second game. And why not? I hope that their fantastic wingers see some more ball in this game though. If only for them to be bundled into touch at the last second.
Prediction
Whoever gets the forward grunt and manages the ref will win. I really hope it doesn’t come down to the ref or some bs unseen citing or time wasting or whatever. Hopefully the ref will keep the game flowing and we’ll have a classic* on our hands. So who do I think will win?
Erm… hopefully Gats will put me in my place and Finn will catch a perfect box kick to sling an amazing pass to Sam Simmonds for his record breaking hat trick and the Lions win by a point or more.
Or… the Springboks grind the plucky tourists into the dirt and they will win by 18 points. Morne Steyne kicking the final penalty from the Springboks 22.
Or… the test never bloody ends.
Ok, ok Lions 24** – 21 Springboks. There, come at me you bastards.
Final ‘thoughts’
The real question on everyone’s lips is ‘what will this mean for England’? I’ll be btl to give my thoughts on this shortly.
* Which means the Lions win. Anything else is one for the purists.
** Have I mentioned that Siya Kolisi has a special place in my heart? I’ll have another poster to put on my bedroom wall after this series so all is not lost if the Lionz lose.
My Way, Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb Squad
Gats and Rassie loom into view through the smoke-filled karaoke bar, each picking up a mike and ignoring the other, before launching into their tuneless non mea culpa est:
And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain
My friends, we’ll kick it clear, we’ll force the pace of which we’re certain
We’ve kicked a ball out full, we’ve launched the oval skyway
But more, much more than this, we did it our way
Attacks, we’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention
We kicked what we had to kick, and soar it through without invention
I planned each scrumming force, each sideways step and passes astray
But more, much more than this, the blame is his way
The lights dim, the mikes clatter emptily to the floor, clunking soullessly as they slink to the exits, grim, with regret etched on their faces. But enough of my whisky and chocolate addled dreams last night.
The third Test. The series is alive, if not exactly kicking, if you ask many followers. The changes have been wrung, the die is cast and now we’re 80 minutes (or up to 120 depending on how things pan out) from anointing the victors with bragging rights for the next 12 years. Enough has been written about the quality (or absence thereof) of the first two Tests and the series in general, much of it accurate, much of it bilge, so let’s focus on the match to come, shall we?
Six changes in the Lions camp and 3 (one positional) in the Boks. The Lions have been roaring all week about speeding up the game, gaining tempo, running the Boks ragged and raiding the trophy cabinet in the process. In come Price at 9 to speed up delivery from the base – but to Biggar at 10 who hasn’t set the world light in ether teste thus far. Outside him, Bundee Aki, a poor man’s Damian de Allende, comes in to allow Henshaw to move to 13 in an attempt to create more space in midfield, whilst at the back, the Welsh duo of Williams for Hogg and Adams for Watson on the right wing aims to get more incisiveness in attack. On the bench, Connor Murray and Finn Russell are paired, a conservative slower 9 with a heads-up 10, seems strange, to say the least and suggests that Gatland remains conservative and not trusting of an all-out assault on the Bok defence.
Up front the Welsh duo of Jones and Owens are slotted into a front row that struggled last week, despite the Lions leading at oranges, the second and back row is unchanged, slightly surprising given the backseat they took and enormous energy expended seven days ago. AWJ, warrior that he is, must be feeling the effects, whilst Lawes was fairly anonymous last week.
The bench looks strong, but not overly stellar and there must be some concerns in the Lions camp that six new players who’ve spend much of the last month carrying tackle bags will be disruptive – if it is early one, the Lions will be playing catch up.
The Boks have two enforced injury changes, with talismanic 9 Faf de Klerk and indispensable blindside PS du Toit both out. These are huge blows, however much Bok fans will try to sugar-coat things. De Klerk is without peer at the box kicking game and all-round nuisance value, whilst du Toit is an 80 minute machine across the park. It’s resulted in considerable rejigging in the Bok side, with Lood de Jager back in the second row to partner Eben Etzebeth and Franco Mostert moving to blindside in du Toit’s place. Big moves. De Jager back is great news, adding considerably to the scrumming department and lineout, as well as carrying in heavy traffic, but is more limited out wide. Mostert has played flank, but with limited success. That said, du Toit only played 20 minutes last week, half of them knackered, and the Boks coped just fine without him. The rest of the pack is as is for the starters, and that’s good news.
The bench forwards are the same front row, which is formidable and duffed their opponents last week, whilst Mostert will slot back into the second row later on, with Kwagga – far better on the flank replacing du Toit than playing at 8 as in the first Test – and Marco van Staden coming on later to pinch ball, slow things down and add some vim to the forwards.
The backs have Cobus Reinach at 9, a different player to Faf, without the pinpoint kick accuracy, but absolutely electric around the fringes and in open play. If he brings his ‘A’ game (assuming he’s given licence) he presents an entirely different headache for the Lions – and possibly his own side. The rest of the backs are the same as the first two Tests and pick themselves. Perhaps Reinach can offer some space for Kolbe and Mapimpi to snipe down the blindside every now and then? However, an inaccurate display by Reinach could set the tone for the Lions to dictate the pace and shape of the match. It’s a critical piece of the jigsaw.
Key areas to watch, then, are:
- Whether the Lions can maintain parity up front for the full 80 (or near enough) to dictate what happens behind the scrum;
- Will six new players be too disruptive to the Lions, despite much of it revolving around national combinations – some of the guys are pretty rusty;
- How Gats introduces his bench – do Murray and Russell join the fray together, and if so, what’s the point?
- Will the Boks be able put down a marker from the get-go and dominate the Lions up front to dictate the pace (and crucially the scoreboard) to negate the threats out wide;
- Will Faf’s absence prove too disruptive to a Bok plan that has been well honed for a couple of years now and will allow the Lions to move the ball wide to their very good back three;
- Will the Boks surprise and give it a bit of width themselves earlier in the piece; they’re certainly more than capable of scoring tries whilst maintaining a mean defence;
- Will the refereeing quartet come out unscathed? In many respects, I think the last point is maybe the most important.
Prediction? I’ve gone Boks by 2 on Superbru, which portends, unfortunately, a Lions win based on the last two matches…
South Africa
15 Willie le Roux, 14 Cheslin Kolbe, 13 Lukhanyo Am, 12 Damian de Allende, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Handre Pollard, 9 Cobus Reinach, 8 Jasper Wiese, 7 Franco Mostert, 6 Siya Kolisi (captain), 5 Lood de Jager, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Frans Malherbe, 2 Bongi Mbonambi, 1 Steven Kitshoff
Substitutes: 16 Malcolm Marx, 17 Trevor Nyakane, 18 Vincent Koch, 19 Marco van Staden, 20 Kwagga Smith, 21 Herschel Jantjies, 22 Morne Steyn, 23 Damian Willemse
British & Irish Lions
15 Liam Williams (Wales), 14 Josh Adams (Wales), 13 Robbie Henshaw (Ireland), 12 Bundee Aki (Ireland), 11 Duhan van der Merwe (Scotland), 10 Dan Biggar (Wales), 9 Ali Price (Scotland), 8 Jack Conan (Ireland), 7 Tom Curry (England), 6 Courtney Lawes (England), 5 Alun Wyn Jones (captain, Wales), 4 Maro Itoje (England), 3 Tadhg Furlong (Ireland), 2 Ken Owens (Wales), 1 Wyn Jones (Wales) Substitutes: 16. Luke Cowan-Dickie (England), 17 Mako Vunipola (Saracens, England), 18 Kyle Sinckler (England), 19 Adam Beard (Wales), 20 Sam Simmonds (England), 21 Conor Murray (Ireland), 22 Finn Russell (Scotland), 23 Elliot Daly (England)
Ovally Balls 
If you like rude staff and empty shelves then the Lochgilphead Co-op is the place for you.
The other shopping highlight of the recent trip was the Lochgilphead charity shop Mary’s Meals which turned out to be worth a visit if the Scottish member of the family has mystifyingly not packed a jumper for the four-year-old to go camping in Scotland on the grounds that she thought it would be warm enough that she wouldn’t need one.
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Full breakdown of the jumper situation:
Scottish packed:
Mrs CMW: 1 jumper, stank to high heaven.
The Little One: 2 inadequate thin cardigans, 0 jumpers, 1 very well received jumper purchased in Mary’s Meals that ended up stinking to high heaven.
Non-Scottish packed:
The Eldest: 3 jumpers packed, “I threw away mummy’s packing list and just took what I thought as she didn’t seem to think you’d need a jumper in Scotland”, 2 worn as she spent most of the time in her primary school leavers’ hoodie. This caused some controversy as her cousin there didn’t have one from her school. Speculation that this was because there were only three people in her year was shot down as apparently the next nearest school (not far away if you have a boat) did them and they only had four.
The Middle One: 3 jumpers packed, but almost exclusively only one worn due to obsessive personality. This stank to high heaven due to spending every evening chasing fit farming types and dogs up and down a very steep hill.
Me: 3 jumpers, all worn, much stinking due to getting wet putting up/taking down tents and chasing the farming types and dog etc.
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Morning all:
Here’s a great read:
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/aug/15/warren-ellis-on-how-nina-simones-gum-book-interview
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Clyde – was it the Tesco, Lidl or Aldi you went into in Oban? Or perhaps even the M&S Foodhall?
(Thanks to Google Maps).
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Blog gets led astray by Google maps.
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cricket’s been good
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“Blog gets led astray by Google maps.”
I think it’s followed a dog into head-high bracken. Or maybe stood in an enormous cowpat.
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@BB – I think it must have been Tesco as otherwise I would remember it for sure. I’m a little surprised that I’m so sketchy on it to be honest, it having been a highlight of the Mull holiday when set against Calgary Bay, sea eagles, minke whales, Iona, Ulva etc.
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Fucking hell, can’t imagine being in Afghanistan right now.
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Also….
Cmw – ironically I’ve only been to the cade in Waitrose in Canary Wharf. Get yourself a banana with a MyWaitrose card and reward yourself with the cheapest coffee for miles around.
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@Craigs – I don’t think you have been to the cafe in Waitrose in Canary Wharf ironically. It’s something some of the rest of us might be able to do though.
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I have unironically been in the Canary Wharf Waitrose. Not the friendliest. It’s the kind of place people do that passive aggressive heavy sighing when there’s a queue.
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Got back last night from a short break in Galway. It’s a really really fine city. No wonder Claw’s so proud of it.
None of the South African Pro16 teams’ll win there ever.
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We’ve experienced that a few times – not so much led ‘astray’ as sent 3 sides of a square… instead of sticking to main roads we’ve been diverted via backroads.
Presumably, there’s some algorithm that sees the torturous route as more efficient (shorter as crow flies, less traffic, avoiding big junctions, traffic lights??).
We’ve definitely had scenarios where we were sent N99 – L999 – L1001 – N101 rather than the simpler route…N99 then N101
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We live in deeply rural France at a very small cross-roads ( 2 communal class roads).
A line as the crow flies between Auch and Tarbes/Pau seems to pass nearby.
There is a satnav system that on a monthly basis delivers a random 48ft artic. to this crossroads – the subsequent manouverings and phone calling are now predictable but still amusing
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Mention was made earlier of driving alongside Loch Long on the old switchback to Gairlochhead and beyond.
Cycling along this road one day we came upon a fine sight:
– what turned out to be a car plus caravan newly hired that day was travelling north and had come face to face with two Navy flat-bed artics driving south. Car and caravan became hopelessly jack-knifed.
Meanwhile driver of first artic had got out his pipe and lit up and poured a cuppa from his newly charged thermos.
Only when he had finished did he get out and with the second driver unhitch the caravan, shoogle it about by hand out of the way, take the artics past then re-hitch the ‘van and wish the retired couple a safe onward journey.
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When we drove from Tshwane (Pretoria) to Eswatini (Swaziland) we used our brand spanking new satnav. Unfortunately, we didn’t realise that the settings were to avoid toll roads so we were able to visit every medium-sized town on the way and miss out on the joys of the highway. On the way back we went wrong and ended up in a place called Belfast. We could see the sign saying it was 200 kms to Pretoria but the Satnav was advising us to drive over 300 to get home. We ditched the satnav.
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First things first…..
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@TomP – however we recently discovered that Google Maps voice directions have immeasurably improved their ability to pronounce Irish placenames and those in Irish – “she” made a relatively respectable rendering of Bóthar Oileán an Locha (Lake Isle Rd) in Sligo
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The English language attempts at Czech are still pretty laughable.
I don’t drive and don’t mind getting lost – I’ve had plenty of practice over the years thanks to my own efforts and on the advice of others – but getting lost because of google maps/ a satnav is very frustrating.
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The notablog isn’t as foodie as it once was, but this is still worth a read – Jay Raynor has been sharpening his hatchet and makes a fine job of it
https://www.theguardian.com/food/2021/aug/15/the-polo-lounge-at-the-dorchester-hotel-dismal-food-at-eye-popping-prices-restaurant-review
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good grief – what a dreadful ‘restaurant’
I buy Ch Pesquie wines occasionally at about 6 Euros per bottle – 1 doz. delivered free to my door
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@ticht – Rayner is always an amusing read – manages to make you feel that he’s well aware how lucky he is (even if he’s faking it – it’s done well).
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England just in a spot of bother here. 48/3 with 44 overs to navigate to save the Test. This has been a great Test, see-sawing day by day and even session by session in favour of India or England. It’s why a five day draw can be so much better than a 3 day win.
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England a long way from safety but Root simply carries on batting with elan. What a player!
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err………………………
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Enthusiastic commentary:
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Not my fault. I tiptoed out the room a while back.
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From 1 hour 39 minutes 36.
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Wow. That all fell apart a bit. Less pulled pork and more flopped cake. Jay Rayner wouldn’t have paid for England’s last hour serving.
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“From 1 hour 39 minutes 36.”
Longer than it took for England to collapse once Joe the Joyous went on his merry way.
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Ironically went up Snowdon today on the Rhyd-Ddu path. Five year old smashed it, encouraged by his brother and sister. Some mild crying at the summit due to the wind blowing cold clouds into our faces and then some mild screaming as my middle child smashed his knee into the steps next to the station and some more when he realised the train wasn’t running. But he walked it off and we got down eventually.
Am still in Wales.
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I imagine Craigs’s trip to Wales is a bit like this.
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Yeah, I think Craigs would make a good Catherine Tate.
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‘Ironically went up Snowdon today on the Rhyd-Ddu path.’
I wonder how craigs managed to walk inna ironic manner
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Thusly
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OT – we had fish (fingers) and chips rather than gooseberry and cinnamon yoghurt.
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Stupid twat
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“Nation-building” is a bit harder than we were told, then.
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@tomp
I think we should be employing techniques from the No Shit Sherlock School of Analysis.
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Well it’s not like there’s numerous historical examples that occupiers of Afghanistan are going to get kicked out eventually. Who could have guessed it would end in such a clusterfark?
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We bought a car last week and had a bit of a paperwork struggle getting cheap car insurance – one provider suggested a figure of 5 grand a year would be appropriate. All got sorted after my missus had documents sent from South Africa and the Czech Republic.
The person we got the car from is a colleague of my missus and yesterday they went for a drive and to the garage that he used. He’s also got other colleagues to go there. One of those colleagues worked for 2 years in Afghanistan – in a non-military role – and when they mentioned his name to the owner of the garage it elicited the reponse, “Ah, the war hero” as the fella had received a medal of service from the Czech government. Something that he mentioned to me within 10 minutes of our being introduced.
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I’m teaching a Czech lady in Delhi online and she told me about the Qutb Minaret in the city the other week. It’s a beautiful structure. I got to reading about it and found that it’s modelled on a minaret in the Ghor province in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, the minaret’s in danger of falling – after 800 years – because of flooding in the valley it stands in and constant looting in the area.
It’s an amazing building and I love the name – the Minaret of Jam:
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That’s an amazing structure!
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Tomp – my mate did two tours of Afghanistan as a Royal Marine and after he said that it was the most pointless war in recent times.
That doesn’t detract from the fact that a few people have lived relatively freely for 20 years and now they are potentially back in the dark ages
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@craigs
Some stiff competition there – Iraq and Northern Ireland also belong on the list of Wars That Cannot Be Won.
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Got a friend of a friend here in SA who was a US Marine in both Iraq and Afghanistan. And a massive Trump supporter. He has little good to say about either the Afghan elite or the US commanders who routinely ignored their shortcomings in favour of sending the ‘right optics’.
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I’m not sure a ‘massive Trump supporter’ is a cast iron neutral commentator – although his comment sounds realistic…………….
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Craigs, he was basically the target in a very long target practice session.
I’ll caveat this just in case – obviously I’m not a fan of the Taliban but they offer their own form of law and order and that would be attractive I think. The corruption and profligacy’s been immense and the heroin trade bounced back after some lean years under the original Taliban. Big job for the Chinese.
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Slade, he’s a bit schizophrenic on that score – loves Trump, but has Mexican roots; right wing, but gay (is that contradictory, I’m not sure?); a couple of tours of the Middle East, but thinks the higher-ups have jumped the shark; law and order freak, but peddled booze during the lockdown here when booze sales were banned. Was a hero!
TomP, I don’t think there’s any room for ‘buts’ when talking Taliban rule. They’re basically a paedophile, misogynist rape cult if you’re a woman or girl, with fuck all to offer human progress. And the jury is out on whether they’ll dismantle or tax the drug trade. Remember too, that we had our own form of ‘law and order’ under apartheid. Not much fun if you weren’t white and armed.
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