You wait bloody ages for an ATL, and then two turn up at once….
No prizes for guessing which is the work of Craigsman, and which of Deebee7.
The Glorious Series Continues
Pre/Ramble
So it’s a bit weird that, with a Lionz series in south Africa being poised with one game each, rugby fans seems quite deflated about the last match in this series. No fans, empty stadiums, accusations of biting, of slowing down the game, of racism, of influencing the referee have all played a part. But really it’s the fact that the rugby hasn’t set the world alight that’s the problem (Springbok tries aside) in this Craigsman’s opinion. Both sides seem to be playing low risk stuff seeing who breaks first. Kick, kick, kick. The Kiwis would lap this up. Form-wise, apart from the last half of the second game (and a bit in the first half of the first game) the Lions forwards have been able to get the dominance needed to win but they have been blunt in attack. Here’s hoping that rugby* wins and we get a game on Saturday. Let’s have a look at the teams innit.
LionzTM
So this makes me wonder what the feck Gats is playing at with his selection for the third test. I am but a simple accountant, unused to the complexities of rugby coaching, but I’m trying to work out some of the choices made at 9 and 10 and 21 and 22. Starting with a live wire scrum half and a … solid fly half and then ending with a … solid scrum half and a live wire fly half seems to be negating the strengths of each player. Either start with the live wire options and when the Springbok defence proves too miserly to score tries against or a nice healthy lead has been built, end with the … wise old heads who like to kick and do the game management stuff. Or, do the opposite to chase the game. What do I know? Everything else in the team seems reasonable. Courtney Lawes has done well to ignore the instructions from Dan Biggar and the rest of the pack looks solid. I would probably have Tadhg MK II in the finishers but hey ho. The back 3 look like they could negate a dastardly kicking game and we have two lumps in the centre to negate the Boks and the “amazing” Elliot Daly to come in against the tired legs at the end. So, I’m sanguine there.
Springboks
The Springboks look rubbish and will get hammered whatever happens look like a settled unit right now with the only changes have come from injury and OH MY GOD IT’S MORNE FECKING STEYNE!!!!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just more trolling from Rassie and we’ll see a last minute ‘injury’ and a proper player like Wynand Olivier will replace him. Just ignorant speculation on my part. Other than that, I can’t see anything to pick at. It’s a formidable side and Lionz supporters everywhere will have breathed a sigh of relief that Duane Vermeulen hasn’t yet come back from injury. I think they will rinse and repeat what worked in the second game. And why not? I hope that their fantastic wingers see some more ball in this game though. If only for them to be bundled into touch at the last second.
Prediction
Whoever gets the forward grunt and manages the ref will win. I really hope it doesn’t come down to the ref or some bs unseen citing or time wasting or whatever. Hopefully the ref will keep the game flowing and we’ll have a classic* on our hands. So who do I think will win?
Erm… hopefully Gats will put me in my place and Finn will catch a perfect box kick to sling an amazing pass to Sam Simmonds for his record breaking hat trick and the Lions win by a point or more.
Or… the Springboks grind the plucky tourists into the dirt and they will win by 18 points. Morne Steyne kicking the final penalty from the Springboks 22.
Or… the test never bloody ends.
Ok, ok Lions 24** – 21 Springboks. There, come at me you bastards.
Final ‘thoughts’
The real question on everyone’s lips is ‘what will this mean for England’? I’ll be btl to give my thoughts on this shortly.
* Which means the Lions win. Anything else is one for the purists.
** Have I mentioned that Siya Kolisi has a special place in my heart? I’ll have another poster to put on my bedroom wall after this series so all is not lost if the Lionz lose.
My Way, Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb Squad
Gats and Rassie loom into view through the smoke-filled karaoke bar, each picking up a mike and ignoring the other, before launching into their tuneless non mea culpa est:
And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain
My friends, we’ll kick it clear, we’ll force the pace of which we’re certain
We’ve kicked a ball out full, we’ve launched the oval skyway
But more, much more than this, we did it our way
Attacks, we’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention
We kicked what we had to kick, and soar it through without invention
I planned each scrumming force, each sideways step and passes astray
But more, much more than this, the blame is his way
The lights dim, the mikes clatter emptily to the floor, clunking soullessly as they slink to the exits, grim, with regret etched on their faces. But enough of my whisky and chocolate addled dreams last night.
The third Test. The series is alive, if not exactly kicking, if you ask many followers. The changes have been wrung, the die is cast and now we’re 80 minutes (or up to 120 depending on how things pan out) from anointing the victors with bragging rights for the next 12 years. Enough has been written about the quality (or absence thereof) of the first two Tests and the series in general, much of it accurate, much of it bilge, so let’s focus on the match to come, shall we?
Six changes in the Lions camp and 3 (one positional) in the Boks. The Lions have been roaring all week about speeding up the game, gaining tempo, running the Boks ragged and raiding the trophy cabinet in the process. In come Price at 9 to speed up delivery from the base – but to Biggar at 10 who hasn’t set the world light in ether teste thus far. Outside him, Bundee Aki, a poor man’s Damian de Allende, comes in to allow Henshaw to move to 13 in an attempt to create more space in midfield, whilst at the back, the Welsh duo of Williams for Hogg and Adams for Watson on the right wing aims to get more incisiveness in attack. On the bench, Connor Murray and Finn Russell are paired, a conservative slower 9 with a heads-up 10, seems strange, to say the least and suggests that Gatland remains conservative and not trusting of an all-out assault on the Bok defence.
Up front the Welsh duo of Jones and Owens are slotted into a front row that struggled last week, despite the Lions leading at oranges, the second and back row is unchanged, slightly surprising given the backseat they took and enormous energy expended seven days ago. AWJ, warrior that he is, must be feeling the effects, whilst Lawes was fairly anonymous last week.
The bench looks strong, but not overly stellar and there must be some concerns in the Lions camp that six new players who’ve spend much of the last month carrying tackle bags will be disruptive – if it is early one, the Lions will be playing catch up.
The Boks have two enforced injury changes, with talismanic 9 Faf de Klerk and indispensable blindside PS du Toit both out. These are huge blows, however much Bok fans will try to sugar-coat things. De Klerk is without peer at the box kicking game and all-round nuisance value, whilst du Toit is an 80 minute machine across the park. It’s resulted in considerable rejigging in the Bok side, with Lood de Jager back in the second row to partner Eben Etzebeth and Franco Mostert moving to blindside in du Toit’s place. Big moves. De Jager back is great news, adding considerably to the scrumming department and lineout, as well as carrying in heavy traffic, but is more limited out wide. Mostert has played flank, but with limited success. That said, du Toit only played 20 minutes last week, half of them knackered, and the Boks coped just fine without him. The rest of the pack is as is for the starters, and that’s good news.
The bench forwards are the same front row, which is formidable and duffed their opponents last week, whilst Mostert will slot back into the second row later on, with Kwagga – far better on the flank replacing du Toit than playing at 8 as in the first Test – and Marco van Staden coming on later to pinch ball, slow things down and add some vim to the forwards.
The backs have Cobus Reinach at 9, a different player to Faf, without the pinpoint kick accuracy, but absolutely electric around the fringes and in open play. If he brings his ‘A’ game (assuming he’s given licence) he presents an entirely different headache for the Lions – and possibly his own side. The rest of the backs are the same as the first two Tests and pick themselves. Perhaps Reinach can offer some space for Kolbe and Mapimpi to snipe down the blindside every now and then? However, an inaccurate display by Reinach could set the tone for the Lions to dictate the pace and shape of the match. It’s a critical piece of the jigsaw.
Key areas to watch, then, are:
- Whether the Lions can maintain parity up front for the full 80 (or near enough) to dictate what happens behind the scrum;
- Will six new players be too disruptive to the Lions, despite much of it revolving around national combinations – some of the guys are pretty rusty;
- How Gats introduces his bench – do Murray and Russell join the fray together, and if so, what’s the point?
- Will the Boks be able put down a marker from the get-go and dominate the Lions up front to dictate the pace (and crucially the scoreboard) to negate the threats out wide;
- Will Faf’s absence prove too disruptive to a Bok plan that has been well honed for a couple of years now and will allow the Lions to move the ball wide to their very good back three;
- Will the Boks surprise and give it a bit of width themselves earlier in the piece; they’re certainly more than capable of scoring tries whilst maintaining a mean defence;
- Will the refereeing quartet come out unscathed? In many respects, I think the last point is maybe the most important.
Prediction? I’ve gone Boks by 2 on Superbru, which portends, unfortunately, a Lions win based on the last two matches…
South Africa
15 Willie le Roux, 14 Cheslin Kolbe, 13 Lukhanyo Am, 12 Damian de Allende, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Handre Pollard, 9 Cobus Reinach, 8 Jasper Wiese, 7 Franco Mostert, 6 Siya Kolisi (captain), 5 Lood de Jager, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Frans Malherbe, 2 Bongi Mbonambi, 1 Steven Kitshoff
Substitutes: 16 Malcolm Marx, 17 Trevor Nyakane, 18 Vincent Koch, 19 Marco van Staden, 20 Kwagga Smith, 21 Herschel Jantjies, 22 Morne Steyn, 23 Damian Willemse
British & Irish Lions
15 Liam Williams (Wales), 14 Josh Adams (Wales), 13 Robbie Henshaw (Ireland), 12 Bundee Aki (Ireland), 11 Duhan van der Merwe (Scotland), 10 Dan Biggar (Wales), 9 Ali Price (Scotland), 8 Jack Conan (Ireland), 7 Tom Curry (England), 6 Courtney Lawes (England), 5 Alun Wyn Jones (captain, Wales), 4 Maro Itoje (England), 3 Tadhg Furlong (Ireland), 2 Ken Owens (Wales), 1 Wyn Jones (Wales) Substitutes: 16. Luke Cowan-Dickie (England), 17 Mako Vunipola (Saracens, England), 18 Kyle Sinckler (England), 19 Adam Beard (Wales), 20 Sam Simmonds (England), 21 Conor Murray (Ireland), 22 Finn Russell (Scotland), 23 Elliot Daly (England)
Ovally Balls 
If you look at the names on that Dream Team it was serious sporting royalty and gives me as a non-basketball fan thrills all over again. In no particular order, Magic Johnson, Charles Barklay, Larry Bird, Scottie Pippen, Karl Malone, Michael Jordan, Patrick Ewing from memory.
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There was one match they played where Pippen and Jordan beat up on a guy who was going to Chicago the next year because Pippen was going to get a financial hit if the guy signed. Also, Jordan vetoed the great Isaiah Thomas from the team cos he played rough for Detroit against Chicago.
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Toni Kukoc, the fella was called:
https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/29072197/toni-kukoc-talks-michael-jordan-scottie-pippen-last-dance-chicago-bulls
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Read that about Jordan. On Thomas, he was by all accounts a bully who dished out as much as he got (if not more). The Kucoc story, according to my meticulously researched analysis (one Wiki article) was jealousy and money driven. Suggested they paid him special attention in one game, which is hardly earth shattering in pro sports.
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Can’t watch basketball for more than a few minutes- played it at school and enjoyed it…. but I never enjoyed watching it….although I can appreciate the athleticism etc
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craigs, get your horn on:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E8Xr1l6XMAMGnhG?format=jpg
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Yes, there are various sports I enjoy playing – cricket/rounders/baseball, eg – but can’t watch as they’re too boring. I can just about watch dressage, a sport I competed in for some years, but only at the upper levels (the ones I didn’t compete in).
Apart from rugby, just about the only other team sport I can watch is ice hockey. I suppose it’s because they’re both a bit gladiatorial. Summat atavistic about it all.
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TomP – re that pic, there was one from years ago of POC taking a line-out throw at full stretch that was also very good. Think it was from the G, but not sure. Have never been able to find it again.
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That is a great lineout pic.
Thaum, I don’t recall the POC one, but my memory of him as a player was that at his very best he turned games on his sheer will.
Of course there is always more to it, but the times I remember about him is him taking a lineout against the throw, making a big carry, putting in a huge hit and the momentum of a game changing as a result.
POC and Johnno are my favourites for that hard arsed, no compromise, never, ever, fucking ever, take a step back.
Rentaghost is too talented and plays in a much too good team to have to compare on that criterion.
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Volleyball’s another one that is enjoyable enough to play but tedious to watch. Best of 5 sets and more breaks in play than anything.
Also another one that had a massive rule change to make it better to watch. The libero thing.
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Lying face down on a bar tray with ice skates welded to the bottom of it and hurtling down a frozen half pipe at 200km/hr with your face about five cm from the ice.
That is probably better enjoyed from the sofa as opposed to participation, likewise the ski jump – have you seen the slope these nutters land on?
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Well, with hindsight, quite njoyed the tension, even if the tests were dire watching. Mostert at 7 was interesting. No room for Mcaw type Underhill/Mish because of reffing styles ? Is it too soon to start picking the next Lions team ? I have Smith at 10, and Genge for loosie so far, and possibly Cameraon Redpath too.
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SBT, you’ll probably be able to pencil in AWJ at 4 as well – just seems to carry on forever! Maro is only 26, so should be in his absolute prime in Australia in 4 years, Curry will hopefully have taken on the lessons from this tour and emerge an even better player, LCD will be 32, so prime-ish, all the props will be late 20s or early 30s so arguably at their peak – I didn’t realise that and they could have a fearsome pack based on that alone. Most of the 2nd row will be nudging the latter parts of their careers so expect churn there, ditto the loose forwards bar a couple and the half backs and midfield. Faz will only be 33, so your 10/12 channel will be in good hands. Think on the whole there will a lot of new Lions faces in four years time.
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Read POC and thought ‘person of colour’ before correcting myself. Wtf has become of me eh?
That’s a good photo Tomp, they aren’t even really supporting him for that split second. We never did that.
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Might have to go to Clarens at some point.
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Referring back to the rule changes to make rugby more attractive to spectators versus more to players.
My experience at U14 last 2-3 seasons is that players want tackling – to make them (for some), to evade/avoid them (for others), and for a bunch – to run right into them and through.
We played a lot of tag / touch – as full contact wasn’t allowed under lockdown – and the boys soon got tired of it. It’s a useful tool to get them passing but they demand the physical contact.
Certainly, up to U14 I’d have the game played much more like RL – emphasise ball-in-hand, passing (and tackling).
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We had a coach at U13 and U14 level at school who banned kicking completely, unless for posts or if you were isolated with at least two players bearing down on you. Pass, pass, pass and run were his mottos. He also experimented, when he was made head coach of the 1st XV, with 3 man scrums and a loose trio of basically wings so as to speed things up and get around the heavier packs we faced (not me – I never made it to that level!). Mixed success, to be fair.
He also loved tackling and getting tackled. He would insist that if you tackle a player, he should be put to ground to prevent him from supporting the player he’d passed to and was always keen to show us his tackle technique (oh dear, Karl, piss off!). He loved nothing better than having half the team piling into him, studs and all and getting up battered, shouting “now that’s how you tackle, boys!” Got into a couple of fist fights with the older boys if they didn’t play hard enough as well. He was Irish.
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“Was kicked out of the chess club for some reason.”
“they should change the rules to make it more fun to play”
I may be wrong with it being a little before my time, but I don’t think they had the clocks to start with.
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LRZ must be in the frame for next time round.
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I gather the Lions games were shit, the highlights certainly were. No big surprise. Anyone blaming one side or the other needs to pull themselves together and blame both.
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Just been on the phone to Turkey, That coach wasn’t Irish, apparently.
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Been hiding out in Beaverland in Mid-Argyll. Walked round one of the lochs used for the original reintroduction, but as usual we didn’t see them as it was the wrong time of day. Plenty of evidence of them though. Anyway they seem to be all over the place now:
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/aug/10/wild-beaver-numbers-surge-to-1000-across-scotlands-southern-highlands
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“not quite as drastic as reducing the number of players and removing line outs altogether.”
Almost all games have fewer players than rugby union and I can’t think of any that feature lineouts so I think it’s possible that many of them took this drastic action a long time ago.
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I doubt if anyone read the whole of the rather long Wikipedia article on billiards I referenced a few weeks ago, but the bit about the days of 18-a-side with lineouts was particularly fascinating. Dangerous to the spectators rather than unenjoyable as I understand it.
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Harry Viljoen, the one-time Springbok coach, banned his players from kicking.
New Zealanders famously sleep with rugby balls in their cots as babies.
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Bok team for Argentina on Saturday:
15 – Damian Willemse (DHL Stormers) – 10 caps, 5pts (1t)
14 – Sbu Nkosi (Cell C Sharks) – 11 caps, 40 pts (8t)
13 – Jesse Kriel (Canon Eagles, Japan) – 47 caps, 60 pts (12t)
12 – Frans Steyn (Toyota Cheetahs) – 68 caps, 141 pts (11t, 7c, 21p, 3d)
11 – Aphelele Fassi (Cell C Sharks) – 1 cap, 5pts (1t)
10 – Elton Jantjies (vice-captain – Pau, France) – 39 caps, 283 pts (2t, 63c, 49p)
9 – Cobus Reinach (Montpellier, France) – 16 caps, 35pts (7t)
8 – Jasper Wiese (Leicester Tigers, England) – 3 caps, 0 pts
7 – Kwagga Smith (Yamaha Júbilo, Japan) – 10 caps, 5 pts (1t)
6 – Siya Kolisi (captain, Cell C Sharks) – 54 caps, 30 pts (6t)
5 – Lood de Jager (Sale Sharks, England) – 48 caps, 25 pts (5t)
4 – Eben Etzebeth (Toulon, France) – 89 caps, 15 pts (3t)
3 – Wilco Louw (Harlequins, England) – 13 caps, 0 pts
2 – Joseph Dweba (Bordeaux, France) – uncapped
1 – Ox Nche (Cell C Sharks) – 3 caps, 0 pts
Replacements:
16 – Malcolm Marx (Kubota Spears, Japan) – 37 caps, 30 pts (6t)
17 – Trevor Nyakane (Vodacom Bulls) – 46 caps, 5 pts (1t)
18 – Vincent Koch (Saracens, England) – 23 caps, 0 pts
19 – Marvin Orie (DHL Stormers) – 4 caps, 0 pts
20 – Marco van Staden (Leicester Tigers, England) – 5 caps, 0 pts
21 – Dan du Preez (Sale Sharks, England) – 4 caps, 0 pts
22 – Herschel Jantjies (DHL Stormers) – 14 caps, 25 pts (5t)
23 – Morne Steyn (Vodacom Bulls) – 67 caps, 742 points (8t, 102c, 156p, 10d)
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Both Harry Viljoen and Carel du Plessis tried desperately to get the Boks playing ball in hand, heads up running rugby and both paid the price for it. Du Plessis famously got sacked after the Boks beat Australia 61-22 in his final Tri-Nations match. The Boks conceded 18 tries in that Tri-Nations – but also scored 18 in the 4 matches. His Boks outscored the BILs 9 tries to 3 but lost the series to Jenkins penalties and Jerry’s drop kick. If you include the 12 try romp in the warm up against Tonga, his record was played 8, won 3, lost 5, scored 39 tries (12 against Tonga) and conceded 21!
He was replaced by Nick Mallett, whose Boks equalled the record for winning Tests, and then fell foul of the SARU hierarchy over ticket prices, to be replaced by Viljoen, who really never got going – 8 wins from 15 tests and crucially got repeatedly duffed by the Kiwis and Aussies.
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Anyone blaming
This is the point of the Internet.
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I blame you for that.
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Bok side is not too bad, all things considered. Strong front row and delighted that Ox is back and Dweba getting another run. Powerful locks, although Etzebeth will surely be subbed after a helluva tough series against the Lions. Loosies are ok, but a step down on having PSDT and Vermeulen in the side. Reinach should have more space and Jantjies is a naturally more attacking 10 than Pollard has become, if a bit more prone to the occasional brain fart. Steyn at 12 and Kriel at 13 are a definite step down on de Allende and Am, but experienced enough. Back 3 have super pace and pretty solid on defence (perhaps not Willemse) but how much ball they’ll get is the question.
Bench is a very strong front row, Orie is ok without being much more at lock, du Preez is a du Preez and will hopefully have been given the family brain cell for the day. Bench backs are an electric 9 who goes AWOL from time to time and Morne the Lion King. 🦁
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No idea what the Pumas side looks like, but they’ll be up for it. That’s guaranteed!
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I absolutely love this:
“When I took over young Stephen’s case,” Driscoll explains, “I gave the Lawrences and the witnesses we were trying to persuade to give evidence my phone number, and said, ‘you can call me any time. If I’m crying, it means I’m watching Fulham FC play, but I’ll talk to you.’ And that wasn’t how things were supposed to be done in the Met then.”
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Looking at the current McLions and their ages for possibly touring in Australia, Zander will be 29 (Prime Prop Age), Big Duhan will be 30, Ali, Finn and Rory will be 32, Hoggy and Mish 33 and Chris Harris 34. So probably too late for Chris to go on one (even if in form etc.), just a shame he got dropped after a bit of one game.
Obviously there may be a few who didn’t go that will be in the frame – the likes of Horne The Younger, Darcy Graham, Ritchie . Hopefully.
Unless Gats is coach again….
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hmm – Russell’s such a maverick risk……………..
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Just looked at the Scotland squad for those summer internationals that they didn’t play, and George Horne is 26! Still think of him as the young up-and-coming threat to Ali Price, but he’s only a couple of years younger. Jamie Dobie IS the young up-and-coming threat, he’s only 20 and there seem to be lots of hopeful noises about him from Glasgow fans.
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Russell a maverick risk? He was the most exciting thing that happened on the Lions’ side. And importantly, the most productive in terms of getting go-forward and breaking the gain-line.
When Farrell appeared on the pitch in the Test matches, he just looked lost and clueless to me.
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Hmmm – maybe it’s time to stop thinking of Finn as a ‘maverick’ and actually appreciate him for what he is. A damn good, if not world class, number 10 who plays for one of the top teams in France and has over 50 caps for his country.
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Good news. The (Self)Righteous Ones Are Here to Save Rugby:
https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/opinion/126023332/mark-reason-all-blacks-on-mission-to-save-rugby-from-the-bore-boks-barren-wilderness
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Hey Thaum/BB………………….where’s your ironing meter?
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Buried in the back of The Cupboard We Dare Not Enter Under The Stairs.
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Love the way Reason flays the Boks, but actually spends half the article moaning about the TMOs, Gatland and the Lions, but somehow it’s the Boks to blame for the endless replays and Gats bottling it. Ah well, I suppose he has quotas of words to fill. But I’m heartened that he gives us a try that was disallowed and one from 48 years ago to prove his point. What a tit.
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In You pays your money news:
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Slade – wot BB said :-D
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“I thought that the World Cup semi-final between South Africa and Wales might have been the dullest international match of all time, but this series rivalled it.”
Well he definitely has a point with the first bit*. I’ll have to leave it to those who put themselves through watching the full games to say whether he has a point with the second bit. If he does then he’s right to be throwing the blame around at all parties even if he is well known for being a complete prick.
*I still can’t believe SA played so negatively and ultimately left it more or less to chance who won that game given that they had the players to win quite comfortably against a Wales team who were playing pretty poorly. I also don’t really buy the ‘you can’t out-Bok the Boks’ stuff with regard to the Lions tour as it looks to me as though the third test and therefore the series could just as easily have gone the other way. I also don’t think it’s good enough just to say the Boks always play like that. I don’t even think it’s true as they often seem to play a bit more against NZ because they have to to have any chance of winning, not that they manage that all that often these days at least by their standards. This was also true of Ireland under Schmidt and even late period Gatland Wales played more adventurously on their last tour of NZ albeit without much success.
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The first test could have gone the other way quite easily, CMW. And if Kolisi doesn’t get his hand under the ball when Henshaw falls over the line, the second would have been a whole lot different.
They tried to play a bit against the Lions at the start of the second half, going through the phases. They got to 10 or 12 or something and absolutely no change out of the Lions defence.
The Kolbe try from the weekend’s really good. They see the chance and within two passes they’re over. Terrific play from Am, le Roux and Kolbe as well. Bit like the tries in the World Cup final.
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This summer the blessed Covid saved us from a 2-test series between the All Blacks and Italy. That would have been dull.
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I am a small, petty, cowardly man.
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But omg i do like my grudges coming to fruition.
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Can you be a bit more specific, there Craigs? How many grudges? Which have come to fruition? Should we celebrate, be fearful, chuck money at a patreon account? We need detail!
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Just be pleased for me deebs. That sweet, anonymous, cowardly revenge.
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