You wait bloody ages for an ATL, and then two turn up at once….
No prizes for guessing which is the work of Craigsman, and which of Deebee7.
The Glorious Series Continues
Pre/Ramble
So it’s a bit weird that, with a Lionz series in south Africa being poised with one game each, rugby fans seems quite deflated about the last match in this series. No fans, empty stadiums, accusations of biting, of slowing down the game, of racism, of influencing the referee have all played a part. But really it’s the fact that the rugby hasn’t set the world alight that’s the problem (Springbok tries aside) in this Craigsman’s opinion. Both sides seem to be playing low risk stuff seeing who breaks first. Kick, kick, kick. The Kiwis would lap this up. Form-wise, apart from the last half of the second game (and a bit in the first half of the first game) the Lions forwards have been able to get the dominance needed to win but they have been blunt in attack. Here’s hoping that rugby* wins and we get a game on Saturday. Let’s have a look at the teams innit.
LionzTM
So this makes me wonder what the feck Gats is playing at with his selection for the third test. I am but a simple accountant, unused to the complexities of rugby coaching, but I’m trying to work out some of the choices made at 9 and 10 and 21 and 22. Starting with a live wire scrum half and a … solid fly half and then ending with a … solid scrum half and a live wire fly half seems to be negating the strengths of each player. Either start with the live wire options and when the Springbok defence proves too miserly to score tries against or a nice healthy lead has been built, end with the … wise old heads who like to kick and do the game management stuff. Or, do the opposite to chase the game. What do I know? Everything else in the team seems reasonable. Courtney Lawes has done well to ignore the instructions from Dan Biggar and the rest of the pack looks solid. I would probably have Tadhg MK II in the finishers but hey ho. The back 3 look like they could negate a dastardly kicking game and we have two lumps in the centre to negate the Boks and the “amazing” Elliot Daly to come in against the tired legs at the end. So, I’m sanguine there.
Springboks
The Springboks look rubbish and will get hammered whatever happens look like a settled unit right now with the only changes have come from injury and OH MY GOD IT’S MORNE FECKING STEYNE!!!!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just more trolling from Rassie and we’ll see a last minute ‘injury’ and a proper player like Wynand Olivier will replace him. Just ignorant speculation on my part. Other than that, I can’t see anything to pick at. It’s a formidable side and Lionz supporters everywhere will have breathed a sigh of relief that Duane Vermeulen hasn’t yet come back from injury. I think they will rinse and repeat what worked in the second game. And why not? I hope that their fantastic wingers see some more ball in this game though. If only for them to be bundled into touch at the last second.
Prediction
Whoever gets the forward grunt and manages the ref will win. I really hope it doesn’t come down to the ref or some bs unseen citing or time wasting or whatever. Hopefully the ref will keep the game flowing and we’ll have a classic* on our hands. So who do I think will win?
Erm… hopefully Gats will put me in my place and Finn will catch a perfect box kick to sling an amazing pass to Sam Simmonds for his record breaking hat trick and the Lions win by a point or more.
Or… the Springboks grind the plucky tourists into the dirt and they will win by 18 points. Morne Steyne kicking the final penalty from the Springboks 22.
Or… the test never bloody ends.
Ok, ok Lions 24** – 21 Springboks. There, come at me you bastards.
Final ‘thoughts’
The real question on everyone’s lips is ‘what will this mean for England’? I’ll be btl to give my thoughts on this shortly.
* Which means the Lions win. Anything else is one for the purists.
** Have I mentioned that Siya Kolisi has a special place in my heart? I’ll have another poster to put on my bedroom wall after this series so all is not lost if the Lionz lose.
My Way, Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb Squad
Gats and Rassie loom into view through the smoke-filled karaoke bar, each picking up a mike and ignoring the other, before launching into their tuneless non mea culpa est:
And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain
My friends, we’ll kick it clear, we’ll force the pace of which we’re certain
We’ve kicked a ball out full, we’ve launched the oval skyway
But more, much more than this, we did it our way
Attacks, we’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention
We kicked what we had to kick, and soar it through without invention
I planned each scrumming force, each sideways step and passes astray
But more, much more than this, the blame is his way
The lights dim, the mikes clatter emptily to the floor, clunking soullessly as they slink to the exits, grim, with regret etched on their faces. But enough of my whisky and chocolate addled dreams last night.
The third Test. The series is alive, if not exactly kicking, if you ask many followers. The changes have been wrung, the die is cast and now we’re 80 minutes (or up to 120 depending on how things pan out) from anointing the victors with bragging rights for the next 12 years. Enough has been written about the quality (or absence thereof) of the first two Tests and the series in general, much of it accurate, much of it bilge, so let’s focus on the match to come, shall we?
Six changes in the Lions camp and 3 (one positional) in the Boks. The Lions have been roaring all week about speeding up the game, gaining tempo, running the Boks ragged and raiding the trophy cabinet in the process. In come Price at 9 to speed up delivery from the base – but to Biggar at 10 who hasn’t set the world light in ether teste thus far. Outside him, Bundee Aki, a poor man’s Damian de Allende, comes in to allow Henshaw to move to 13 in an attempt to create more space in midfield, whilst at the back, the Welsh duo of Williams for Hogg and Adams for Watson on the right wing aims to get more incisiveness in attack. On the bench, Connor Murray and Finn Russell are paired, a conservative slower 9 with a heads-up 10, seems strange, to say the least and suggests that Gatland remains conservative and not trusting of an all-out assault on the Bok defence.
Up front the Welsh duo of Jones and Owens are slotted into a front row that struggled last week, despite the Lions leading at oranges, the second and back row is unchanged, slightly surprising given the backseat they took and enormous energy expended seven days ago. AWJ, warrior that he is, must be feeling the effects, whilst Lawes was fairly anonymous last week.
The bench looks strong, but not overly stellar and there must be some concerns in the Lions camp that six new players who’ve spend much of the last month carrying tackle bags will be disruptive – if it is early one, the Lions will be playing catch up.
The Boks have two enforced injury changes, with talismanic 9 Faf de Klerk and indispensable blindside PS du Toit both out. These are huge blows, however much Bok fans will try to sugar-coat things. De Klerk is without peer at the box kicking game and all-round nuisance value, whilst du Toit is an 80 minute machine across the park. It’s resulted in considerable rejigging in the Bok side, with Lood de Jager back in the second row to partner Eben Etzebeth and Franco Mostert moving to blindside in du Toit’s place. Big moves. De Jager back is great news, adding considerably to the scrumming department and lineout, as well as carrying in heavy traffic, but is more limited out wide. Mostert has played flank, but with limited success. That said, du Toit only played 20 minutes last week, half of them knackered, and the Boks coped just fine without him. The rest of the pack is as is for the starters, and that’s good news.
The bench forwards are the same front row, which is formidable and duffed their opponents last week, whilst Mostert will slot back into the second row later on, with Kwagga – far better on the flank replacing du Toit than playing at 8 as in the first Test – and Marco van Staden coming on later to pinch ball, slow things down and add some vim to the forwards.
The backs have Cobus Reinach at 9, a different player to Faf, without the pinpoint kick accuracy, but absolutely electric around the fringes and in open play. If he brings his ‘A’ game (assuming he’s given licence) he presents an entirely different headache for the Lions – and possibly his own side. The rest of the backs are the same as the first two Tests and pick themselves. Perhaps Reinach can offer some space for Kolbe and Mapimpi to snipe down the blindside every now and then? However, an inaccurate display by Reinach could set the tone for the Lions to dictate the pace and shape of the match. It’s a critical piece of the jigsaw.
Key areas to watch, then, are:
- Whether the Lions can maintain parity up front for the full 80 (or near enough) to dictate what happens behind the scrum;
- Will six new players be too disruptive to the Lions, despite much of it revolving around national combinations – some of the guys are pretty rusty;
- How Gats introduces his bench – do Murray and Russell join the fray together, and if so, what’s the point?
- Will the Boks be able put down a marker from the get-go and dominate the Lions up front to dictate the pace (and crucially the scoreboard) to negate the threats out wide;
- Will Faf’s absence prove too disruptive to a Bok plan that has been well honed for a couple of years now and will allow the Lions to move the ball wide to their very good back three;
- Will the Boks surprise and give it a bit of width themselves earlier in the piece; they’re certainly more than capable of scoring tries whilst maintaining a mean defence;
- Will the refereeing quartet come out unscathed? In many respects, I think the last point is maybe the most important.
Prediction? I’ve gone Boks by 2 on Superbru, which portends, unfortunately, a Lions win based on the last two matches…
South Africa
15 Willie le Roux, 14 Cheslin Kolbe, 13 Lukhanyo Am, 12 Damian de Allende, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Handre Pollard, 9 Cobus Reinach, 8 Jasper Wiese, 7 Franco Mostert, 6 Siya Kolisi (captain), 5 Lood de Jager, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Frans Malherbe, 2 Bongi Mbonambi, 1 Steven Kitshoff
Substitutes: 16 Malcolm Marx, 17 Trevor Nyakane, 18 Vincent Koch, 19 Marco van Staden, 20 Kwagga Smith, 21 Herschel Jantjies, 22 Morne Steyn, 23 Damian Willemse
British & Irish Lions
15 Liam Williams (Wales), 14 Josh Adams (Wales), 13 Robbie Henshaw (Ireland), 12 Bundee Aki (Ireland), 11 Duhan van der Merwe (Scotland), 10 Dan Biggar (Wales), 9 Ali Price (Scotland), 8 Jack Conan (Ireland), 7 Tom Curry (England), 6 Courtney Lawes (England), 5 Alun Wyn Jones (captain, Wales), 4 Maro Itoje (England), 3 Tadhg Furlong (Ireland), 2 Ken Owens (Wales), 1 Wyn Jones (Wales) Substitutes: 16. Luke Cowan-Dickie (England), 17 Mako Vunipola (Saracens, England), 18 Kyle Sinckler (England), 19 Adam Beard (Wales), 20 Sam Simmonds (England), 21 Conor Murray (Ireland), 22 Finn Russell (Scotland), 23 Elliot Daly (England)
Ovally Balls 
From the radio it doesn’t sound like England are bowling all that well. Putting India in could prove to be a mistake.
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That’s all I can do to get them an early wicket.
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Both Anderson and Robinson have got the ball past the edge a couple of times an over without getting a nick so far. Robinson just got one edged to 2nd slip, but short. You would say though that too many balls haven’t needed playing at though.
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Sides for the first 4N match and 2nd Bledisloe on Saturday. Both look weak.
New Zealand
15 Damian McKenzie, 14 Will Jordan, 13 Rieko Ioane, 12 David Havili, 11 Sevu Reece, 10 Richie Mo’unga, 9 Aaron Smith, 8 Ardie Savea, 7 Dalton Papalii, 6 Akira Ioane, 5 Sam Whitelock (captain), 4 Brodie Retallick, 3 Nepo Laulala, 2 Codie Taylor, 1 George Bower
Substitutes: 16 Samisoni Taukei’aho, 17 Karl Tu’inukuafe, 18 Angus Ta’avao, 19 Scott Barrett, 20 Luke Jacobson, 21 TJ Perenara, 22 Beauden Barrett, 23 Jordie Barrett
Australia
15 Tom Banks, 14 Andrew Kellaway, 13 Hunter Paisami, 12 Matt To’omua, 11 Marika Koroibete, 10 Noah Lolesio, 9 Tate McDermott, 8 Rob Valetini, 7 Michael Hooper (captain), 6 Lachlan Swinton, 5 Matt Philip, 4 Darcy Swain, 3 Allan Alaalatoa, 2 Brandon Paenga-Amosa, 1 James Slipper
Substitutes: 16 Jordan Uelese, 17 Scott Sio, 18 Taniela Tupou, 19 Lukhan Salakaia-Loto, 20 Harry Wilson, 21 Nic White, 22 Len Ikitau, 23 Reece Hodge
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One thing I’ve wondered about is that Broad (definitely) and Anderson (I think) have said that the balls they’re using this season don’t swing much if at all in the first few overs and then really start to go after about 10 or 12 overs. If this is the case I’d have thought there was a case for opening up with a short spell from whatever quick bowler they pick and then Anderson coming on with everything in his favour, but there’s been no sign of that.
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It might be the reason Robinson opened rather than Curran who is more of a swing bowler, but I doubt it as I suspect Root just thinks he has to open with whoever he thinks his two best bowlers are and that’s that.
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Anderson switches ends to the Nursery End, I think, and has a decent LBW shout (it was going just over middle stump) and induces a waft off the last ball that was pretty close to getting an edge. But didn’t. India grimly hanging on in this first session.
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Graun saying Gatland favourite to be Lionz head coach. *sigh* Please Dog, no!
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In 2025, that is.
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His record is pretty good with Wales (and somewhat with the lionz). I’d rather someone else had a go though.
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‘One thing I’ve wondered about is that Broad (definitely) and Anderson (I think) have said that the balls they’re using this season don’t swing much if at all in the first few overs and then really start to go after about 10 or 12 overs.’
I recommend tighter budge smugglers
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Anderson needs his balls to swing so that won’t help him. Might be good for Broad though who is more about seam movement.
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Long way to go for 401 comments and a new page…
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@Dab – You just need to find something else to do instead of watching it. I would suggest going camping in the West of Scotland. Stay longer than intended if you can. If that doesn’t take long enough then with any luck your recently hospitalised mother-in-law will finally be released and you could try racing an ambulance to her house to be there ready for her arrival. If you’re lucky she will have been taken in in an emergency leaving all sorts of rotting food and dirty dishes etc around the place for a few weeks so there should be some vermin to deal with. If you still need to kill some time then perhaps she will have been in the midst of getting a new kitchen and bathroom at the time of her accident and the entire contents of the old ones will be all over the bedrooms. And maybe the workmen won’t have done that good a job of clearing up after themselves either. Or perhaps they will have left a few bits and pieces still to do and you can try to get them back in to discuss these matters in their impenetrable accents. If the interminable game still hasn’t finished then maybe you could weed her garden so she doesn’t end up in hospital yet again trying to do it herself. Make sure you have at least three children with you to look after along with the old girl.
Should at least get you to the second half.
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Rohit Sharma getting into his stride! Upped the tempo significantly. There you go CMW, a wicket on a plate, surely?
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This game feels like it’s already got away from England.
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CMW – I used to live near there (Helensburgh) for 1 years. It rained a lot – but, when it was good weather it could be breathtaking. The view from our lounge (upstairs) was down the Clyde estuary to Arran
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The crease on Moeen’s shirt made his name look like AU, not ALI a moment ago. His name, henceforth is Gold.
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I medieval times, your average household ate its food (all courses) off a bread charger (plate).
We have shared a meal like this and all the juices soak in beautifully.
The bread ‘plate’ even tastes good the following morning
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Nelson!
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Didn’t work
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Jimmy Jazz does it again! Swings both ways, ahem, in successive deliveries and knocks over Sharma for 83, when he was looking to scribble his name on the honours board!
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@Slade – Helensburgh itself I have only visited due to the local crematorium to Campbeltown being in Cardross. In search of a coffee we discovered the local Waitrose to Campbeltown which is on that side of Helensburgh.
I’ve never set foot on Arran which is something I must remedy as I see it all the time when we’re in Campbeltown. Perhaps we’ll do the journey via the ferries one day with a holiday in the middle.
The whole coastline round there is wonderful due to the way the various sea lochs cut into the landscape meaning that there are so many places where you climb a hill and can then see water on both sides of you with views across to islands or different bits of the mainland (and even Ireland). My brother-in-law got a border collie earlier this year to train as a sheepdog as he’s putting more effort into the farm now that he’s had to give up fishing after developing type 1 diabetes out of the blue. The hill behind the village is part of their farm and The Middle One and I went up there every night with him, my niece and the dog. Training of different kinds for three of us. Up the top you’re looking down both to the village, its bay and Loch Sween and to the bay the other side and across the sound to Jura, Scarba etc. You can see the bigger mountains up the coast too. It’s magnificent both on a good day with the sun setting on the west coast and east coast at the same time and in worse weather with it all looking so forbidding.
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Never been on Arran either (or round to Campbeltown – closest I’ve got is Lochgilphead). Your brother-in-law is, of course, a lucky bugger to have a border collie. Although the look isn’t complete if he doesn’t have a quad bike with a bread basket on the back for the collie to sit in.
When the weather’s good the West Coast of Scotland is stunning. We were up round Oban at the end of May and the weather and views were stunning. The road was surprisingly quiet too because everybody seems to get stuck in Oban.
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Youse lot need to get to Arran.
Some great geology. Sedimentary, Igneous, metamorphic. An unconformity! the mystery of the catacol cairn!
Last time I was there saw several basking sharks cruising around in the near shore up near the cock of Arran (steady, karl)
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a “steady Karl” is probably what we all seek in later years
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@BB – He certainly has a quad bike, but I don’t know about the basket. There are a huge number of vehicles on the farm, only he and his father would be able to count them as some of them are wrecks just used for spares but it isn’t all that clear to the layman which are which. There are also a large number of boats.
The collie can bring the sheep to but is not much cop at driving them yet though he showed some progress on this front one night when some of the sheep had got in to the neighbouring farmer’s field. He likes arguing with coos a bit more than is desirable especially when they have a bull up there with them which there was while we were there. He definitely took to the Middle One and leapt to her defence when I rugby tackled her.
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“An unconformity!”
Will store this term up for future use. Can’t think of anything Chimpie does where it could be usefully applied, no, nothing at all…
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211 for 2 is a lot of runs for not many out.
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CMW, I fear you’re right about the Test already beyond England. Unless, of course, England take four wickets this evening and wrap up the tail early tomorrow and then bat sensibly into day 3. Think I may have answered my own speculation there.
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Some classy players for the Pumas this weekend. I wonder if a Bok side with so many changes and players who haven’t been on the field will cope with this side:
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England have picked a batting line-up who will mostly bat sensibly until they get out. Whether that’s on day three or not will largely depend on when they get to start.
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Esta formacion es muy formidable!
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CMW, an over to go until the new ball. England need it to do something special at this point.
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England will need to bat sensibly until some time on day five at this rate. Disastrous day for a team with such batting worries. At least in the last game when the batsmen were struggling there was the possibility that the bowlers might be able to do something similar to India.
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Main vibe from the radio commentary has been that India have just batted very well indeed.
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Robinson strikes! Kohli gone for 42. Still five overs to go. Another wicket, maybe two, and the day isn’t a complete disaster for England.
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Aye, India have batted well. Not much fuss, thunder or flash, pretty calm and have dealt with the bad balls well.
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Pretty sure I’ve mentioned that Mrs Craigs used to live in Kilcreggan near Helensburgh. Her dad worked as an mod cop on the submarine base there.
We went there once in the way up to Fort William. It was beautiful, and the road to Arrochar was wild.
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Ok, one more thing about the revenge. I’m pretty sure they don’t know how fucked they are and it will take a while for them to realise. Today they did something that fucks them even further eventually. But they can’t see it. It’s brilliant and I can watch this play out in real time.
Happy Fucking Days!!!
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Happy Friday 13th everyone! Especially you, Trisk! Stay in bed so you don’t have to risk walking, read a book to avoid electricity and drink lots of beer to avoid water.*
*Yes, I know.
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“They” are saying that Richard Cockerill will be announced as a specialist forwards coach in the England set up next week, with responsibilities for the lineout and contact work.
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Ticht – it’s good that Eddie had chosen someone who will bend to his will if there are any disagreements.
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England have fought back very well this morning! 61/4 this session. They’ll run not getting a couple more yesterday evening, but rolling over the last three for no more than 30 from here and it’s game on, if not quite game even.
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Where to after Jimmy? Another Michelle! Does he have his own honours board at Lords?
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his name is already engraved on the Pearly Gates
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Not the best of starts for Hameed on his return. England need Root to dig them out of a hole again, I don’t suppose he will.
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At least Hameed didn’t clog up one end and pressurise the other guys to score faster. Sensible batting for a sensible cause.
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Fascinating if slightly contrived stat
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@Deebee – Sibley must have been fed up with people using poor arguments for him to be dropped and came up with a good argument of his own.
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