
You wait bloody ages for an ATL, and then two turn up at once….
No prizes for guessing which is the work of Craigsman, and which of Deebee7.
The Glorious Series Continues
Pre/Ramble
So it’s a bit weird that, with a Lionz series in south Africa being poised with one game each, rugby fans seems quite deflated about the last match in this series. No fans, empty stadiums, accusations of biting, of slowing down the game, of racism, of influencing the referee have all played a part. But really it’s the fact that the rugby hasn’t set the world alight that’s the problem (Springbok tries aside) in this Craigsman’s opinion. Both sides seem to be playing low risk stuff seeing who breaks first. Kick, kick, kick. The Kiwis would lap this up. Form-wise, apart from the last half of the second game (and a bit in the first half of the first game) the Lions forwards have been able to get the dominance needed to win but they have been blunt in attack. Here’s hoping that rugby* wins and we get a game on Saturday. Let’s have a look at the teams innit.
LionzTM
So this makes me wonder what the feck Gats is playing at with his selection for the third test. I am but a simple accountant, unused to the complexities of rugby coaching, but I’m trying to work out some of the choices made at 9 and 10 and 21 and 22. Starting with a live wire scrum half and a … solid fly half and then ending with a … solid scrum half and a live wire fly half seems to be negating the strengths of each player. Either start with the live wire options and when the Springbok defence proves too miserly to score tries against or a nice healthy lead has been built, end with the … wise old heads who like to kick and do the game management stuff. Or, do the opposite to chase the game. What do I know? Everything else in the team seems reasonable. Courtney Lawes has done well to ignore the instructions from Dan Biggar and the rest of the pack looks solid. I would probably have Tadhg MK II in the finishers but hey ho. The back 3 look like they could negate a dastardly kicking game and we have two lumps in the centre to negate the Boks and the “amazing” Elliot Daly to come in against the tired legs at the end. So, I’m sanguine there.
Springboks
The Springboks look rubbish and will get hammered whatever happens look like a settled unit right now with the only changes have come from injury and OH MY GOD IT’S MORNE FECKING STEYNE!!!!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just more trolling from Rassie and we’ll see a last minute ‘injury’ and a proper player like Wynand Olivier will replace him. Just ignorant speculation on my part. Other than that, I can’t see anything to pick at. It’s a formidable side and Lionz supporters everywhere will have breathed a sigh of relief that Duane Vermeulen hasn’t yet come back from injury. I think they will rinse and repeat what worked in the second game. And why not? I hope that their fantastic wingers see some more ball in this game though. If only for them to be bundled into touch at the last second.
Prediction
Whoever gets the forward grunt and manages the ref will win. I really hope it doesn’t come down to the ref or some bs unseen citing or time wasting or whatever. Hopefully the ref will keep the game flowing and we’ll have a classic* on our hands. So who do I think will win?
Erm… hopefully Gats will put me in my place and Finn will catch a perfect box kick to sling an amazing pass to Sam Simmonds for his record breaking hat trick and the Lions win by a point or more.
Or… the Springboks grind the plucky tourists into the dirt and they will win by 18 points. Morne Steyne kicking the final penalty from the Springboks 22.
Or… the test never bloody ends.
Ok, ok Lions 24** – 21 Springboks. There, come at me you bastards.
Final ‘thoughts’
The real question on everyone’s lips is ‘what will this mean for England’? I’ll be btl to give my thoughts on this shortly.
* Which means the Lions win. Anything else is one for the purists.
** Have I mentioned that Siya Kolisi has a special place in my heart? I’ll have another poster to put on my bedroom wall after this series so all is not lost if the Lionz lose.
My Way, Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb Squad
Gats and Rassie loom into view through the smoke-filled karaoke bar, each picking up a mike and ignoring the other, before launching into their tuneless non mea culpa est:
And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain
My friends, we’ll kick it clear, we’ll force the pace of which we’re certain
We’ve kicked a ball out full, we’ve launched the oval skyway
But more, much more than this, we did it our way
Attacks, we’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention
We kicked what we had to kick, and soar it through without invention
I planned each scrumming force, each sideways step and passes astray
But more, much more than this, the blame is his way
The lights dim, the mikes clatter emptily to the floor, clunking soullessly as they slink to the exits, grim, with regret etched on their faces. But enough of my whisky and chocolate addled dreams last night.
The third Test. The series is alive, if not exactly kicking, if you ask many followers. The changes have been wrung, the die is cast and now we’re 80 minutes (or up to 120 depending on how things pan out) from anointing the victors with bragging rights for the next 12 years. Enough has been written about the quality (or absence thereof) of the first two Tests and the series in general, much of it accurate, much of it bilge, so let’s focus on the match to come, shall we?
Six changes in the Lions camp and 3 (one positional) in the Boks. The Lions have been roaring all week about speeding up the game, gaining tempo, running the Boks ragged and raiding the trophy cabinet in the process. In come Price at 9 to speed up delivery from the base – but to Biggar at 10 who hasn’t set the world light in ether teste thus far. Outside him, Bundee Aki, a poor man’s Damian de Allende, comes in to allow Henshaw to move to 13 in an attempt to create more space in midfield, whilst at the back, the Welsh duo of Williams for Hogg and Adams for Watson on the right wing aims to get more incisiveness in attack. On the bench, Connor Murray and Finn Russell are paired, a conservative slower 9 with a heads-up 10, seems strange, to say the least and suggests that Gatland remains conservative and not trusting of an all-out assault on the Bok defence.
Up front the Welsh duo of Jones and Owens are slotted into a front row that struggled last week, despite the Lions leading at oranges, the second and back row is unchanged, slightly surprising given the backseat they took and enormous energy expended seven days ago. AWJ, warrior that he is, must be feeling the effects, whilst Lawes was fairly anonymous last week.
The bench looks strong, but not overly stellar and there must be some concerns in the Lions camp that six new players who’ve spend much of the last month carrying tackle bags will be disruptive – if it is early one, the Lions will be playing catch up.
The Boks have two enforced injury changes, with talismanic 9 Faf de Klerk and indispensable blindside PS du Toit both out. These are huge blows, however much Bok fans will try to sugar-coat things. De Klerk is without peer at the box kicking game and all-round nuisance value, whilst du Toit is an 80 minute machine across the park. It’s resulted in considerable rejigging in the Bok side, with Lood de Jager back in the second row to partner Eben Etzebeth and Franco Mostert moving to blindside in du Toit’s place. Big moves. De Jager back is great news, adding considerably to the scrumming department and lineout, as well as carrying in heavy traffic, but is more limited out wide. Mostert has played flank, but with limited success. That said, du Toit only played 20 minutes last week, half of them knackered, and the Boks coped just fine without him. The rest of the pack is as is for the starters, and that’s good news.
The bench forwards are the same front row, which is formidable and duffed their opponents last week, whilst Mostert will slot back into the second row later on, with Kwagga – far better on the flank replacing du Toit than playing at 8 as in the first Test – and Marco van Staden coming on later to pinch ball, slow things down and add some vim to the forwards.
The backs have Cobus Reinach at 9, a different player to Faf, without the pinpoint kick accuracy, but absolutely electric around the fringes and in open play. If he brings his ‘A’ game (assuming he’s given licence) he presents an entirely different headache for the Lions – and possibly his own side. The rest of the backs are the same as the first two Tests and pick themselves. Perhaps Reinach can offer some space for Kolbe and Mapimpi to snipe down the blindside every now and then? However, an inaccurate display by Reinach could set the tone for the Lions to dictate the pace and shape of the match. It’s a critical piece of the jigsaw.
Key areas to watch, then, are:
- Whether the Lions can maintain parity up front for the full 80 (or near enough) to dictate what happens behind the scrum;
- Will six new players be too disruptive to the Lions, despite much of it revolving around national combinations – some of the guys are pretty rusty;
- How Gats introduces his bench – do Murray and Russell join the fray together, and if so, what’s the point?
- Will the Boks be able put down a marker from the get-go and dominate the Lions up front to dictate the pace (and crucially the scoreboard) to negate the threats out wide;
- Will Faf’s absence prove too disruptive to a Bok plan that has been well honed for a couple of years now and will allow the Lions to move the ball wide to their very good back three;
- Will the Boks surprise and give it a bit of width themselves earlier in the piece; they’re certainly more than capable of scoring tries whilst maintaining a mean defence;
- Will the refereeing quartet come out unscathed? In many respects, I think the last point is maybe the most important.
Prediction? I’ve gone Boks by 2 on Superbru, which portends, unfortunately, a Lions win based on the last two matches…
South Africa
15 Willie le Roux, 14 Cheslin Kolbe, 13 Lukhanyo Am, 12 Damian de Allende, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Handre Pollard, 9 Cobus Reinach, 8 Jasper Wiese, 7 Franco Mostert, 6 Siya Kolisi (captain), 5 Lood de Jager, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Frans Malherbe, 2 Bongi Mbonambi, 1 Steven Kitshoff
Substitutes: 16 Malcolm Marx, 17 Trevor Nyakane, 18 Vincent Koch, 19 Marco van Staden, 20 Kwagga Smith, 21 Herschel Jantjies, 22 Morne Steyn, 23 Damian Willemse
British & Irish Lions
15 Liam Williams (Wales), 14 Josh Adams (Wales), 13 Robbie Henshaw (Ireland), 12 Bundee Aki (Ireland), 11 Duhan van der Merwe (Scotland), 10 Dan Biggar (Wales), 9 Ali Price (Scotland), 8 Jack Conan (Ireland), 7 Tom Curry (England), 6 Courtney Lawes (England), 5 Alun Wyn Jones (captain, Wales), 4 Maro Itoje (England), 3 Tadhg Furlong (Ireland), 2 Ken Owens (Wales), 1 Wyn Jones (Wales) Substitutes: 16. Luke Cowan-Dickie (England), 17 Mako Vunipola (Saracens, England), 18 Kyle Sinckler (England), 19 Adam Beard (Wales), 20 Sam Simmonds (England), 21 Conor Murray (Ireland), 22 Finn Russell (Scotland), 23 Elliot Daly (England)

@cmw
I find it incredible that an international opener can still try and play a ball outside leg stump with his head leaning outside off stump and still be surprised when he pops it up to short mid-wicket.
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Next cab off the rank to open the batting Hameed promptly shot Sibley’s argument down in flames of course.
@OT – It’s an awful dismissal. Until these last couple of innings he was good off his legs just hopeless on the off-side. If he’s now going to keep getting out like that then he will have to be put out of his misery.
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Burns and Root are going along quite nicely though. Root is a class above any other English batsman (and most globally) and I have a soft spot for Burns. He reminds me of me in a sports field, a bit shorter than most, cocky and prone to flashes of madness, but an ability to get under the skin of the opposition before an inevitable glorious failure. I just never got as far as the flashes of anything.
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Oh. Sorry Rory!
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@cmw
Weirdly his offside shots (even his forward defensive) are textbook. Straight bat, head over the ball etc.
Strange…..
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I’m not convinced his cover drive is that textbook. Obviously he doesn’t play it often, but when it does I think he tends to close the face a bit. Gets it right occasionally to be fair.
He is an odd one as I agree the falling over thing doesn’t dominate his technique in the way it can with say Lawrence or Westley who was tried a few years ago. England are in the habit of picking players with very obvious technical flaws that mean that anyone with any knowledge of the game at all can see how you’d expect to get them out. I don’t think the ‘hoping one of them turns out to be the next Steve Smith’ strategy is really working.
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@cmw
Steve Smith may have a weird technique but he still keeps his head over the ball.
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@OT – He does, but it is obvious how it should be possible to get him out – it just isn’t because he always hits it when other people would miss with much greater regularity.
I think some of the above is why England have had so much patience with Crawley and Pope (and probably would have hoped they would be the ones doing slightly better rather than say Sibley) as they have sounder basic techniques at least against the seamers and should be able to do better in the long run. Unfortunately they either don’t seem to have very good judgment outside off or haven’t shown the temperament to succeed though. See also James Vince.
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Nanci Griffith RIP
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Kiwis 7-0 after 5 mins. Rieko Ioane with the interception and try. Game over.
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Try Australia! 7-5! 🥝 on the ropes!
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Aussies scored off a cross kick and now gaining territory with a box kick. Wonder if the Kiwi coaches are still awake?
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There’s a game of rugby going on here, running, passing, catching and everything
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Poor clearance kick from Oz, three or four phases and NZ score their third
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This was a good match for fifty minutes or so, but 23 points behind, you’re in your 22 on 58 mins and the ran comes on, it’s only going one way now
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Blair Cowan is leaving the Not Nots for a contract in Japan, good luck to him, he’s earned the pension boost.
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Topic for discussion! https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/58213246
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It would certainly make games more interesting. Tired bodies means more space and missed tackles.
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I was advocating this back in the Graun days, or early AoD at least. The difficulty is how you decide a player is genuinely injured or not. I would suggest that the player has to sit out the next match as a precaution, assuming it’s during the course of a season. Not sure it works if the next match is a month away or whatever.
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Didn’t see the Kiwi match this morning, but they’re clearly building a nice head of steam early in the RC.
I’m a bit concerned about this afternoon’s match against the Pumas. They’ve got some fabulous players in that side and whilst I think we’ll be okay in the forwards, I worry that the backs are a bit makeshift and may well get shredded by some fleet-footed Pumas.
And I really wish SARU would sort their shit out with Cornal Hendriks, who’s been a revelation at 12 this season and would definitely give us more options than Fat Frans.
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Hmm. Herschel Jantjies ruled out so Junior Bok Jaden Hendrickse in as replacement halfback. He’s a livewire alright, but this is quite a step up for him! Hope he goes well.
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Exeter have signed young Aussie lock Ryan McAuley
– typical Baxter comment: “we’ve got the likes of Jonny Gray, Dave Ewers and Jacques Vermeulen all recovering from operations, Jonny Hill is going to miss the start of the season, so it all started to add up that we maybe a little light in the back five….”
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CMW, the joys of Test cricket! England should be 40 ahead by stumps and looking to get a decent lead tomorrow. Pressure is now on India to try and knock over Root’s support. They haven’t looked like dislodging him at all.
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Pretty cagey start so far. 3-0 Boks, but both sides a bit scratchy. And the the Pumas get lousy ball from a scrum under some pressure, spill the ball and Reinach outsprints the defence to score in the corner! 10-0. Lovely touchline conversion from Elton, good 65m sprint from Reinach.
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Pumas with a penalty pretty much from the restart and it’s 10-3 after 17 minutes. Etzebeth wins the kick chase, Jantjies with the crossfield kick and Fassi in for a try! Same corner. Scuffed conversion this time, 15-3 after 20.
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I think Deebee’s fears may be unfounded.
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Argentina have run more than both the Boks and Lions did in 3 Tests in the opening 20, but they’re getting little change out of the Bok defence so far.
Jasper Wiese had carried well – much more prominent than the Lions series; Dweba has been very good too. As has Ox Nche in the loose and scrum.
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Argentina really trying to give it air, but a combination of fierce defence and some iffy passing is hampering them. Boks with a scrum penalty, Ox and Louw have the Argentine number at the moment. Steyn Linea one up from inside his own half, but pulls it wide.
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Willemse penalised for taking the man in the air. No harm so just a penalty. Argentina botch the attack and then concede one themselves. Willemse not having a good 1st half so far. Boks go for the corner from a maul penalty. Dweba overthrows! A bit of backwards and forwards and Argentina win the kicking battle. Lineout 30m out.
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Argentina finding a few holes in the Bok midfield now. Missed a few tackles giving the Pumas some momentum and now a penalty pretty much in front. 18-6 with 5 to the break.
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Big Marcos Kremer looking to take on Reinach after conceding a penalty. Bemused grins all round. Jantjies with the kick. 21-6!
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Wilco Louw concedes the penalty from the restart, ahead of the clearing kicker. Argentina 5m out! 7 phases and a new penalty. They’ll take the 3 on the hooter. 21-9 at the break.
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Steyn Linea
My brain rearranged this to Stena Line, which is a ferry company in these parts.
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Steyn could block the Suez Canal on his own.
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Apologies CMW, my thoughts of a substantial England lead are looking a little wobbly now.
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Argentina have started the 2nd half much better, keeping ball in hand, going through the phases and playing in the Bok 22. Eventually take the 3 points 21-12. Rush defence still holding.
2/3 of the bomb squad front row on and they hammer the Pumas, get the penalty. Jantjies lines it up and it’s 24-12. For two sides renowned for their physical approach, this had been far less attritional than the Lions Tests.
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Kremer penalised for a neck roll and subbed straight away. Lavanini enters, so not much change there! Steyn misses again from the half way line. Should’ve gone for touch.
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Big Trev on! Ox off – he’s been immense. Showing a Wiese highlights package now, he’s been very good. Argentina get a nudge at the scrum and then go rapidly backwards. Lucky. Ref calls a reset. Argentina should’ve been penalised but the ref called use it instead. Another scrum, but Argentina feed just outside their 22. Kolisi off. He’s been very good.
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Game had gone pretty quiet, a series of scrums and hoists, subs coming on. Bok scrum in midfield. They go through 14 odd phases and actually play some decent rugby with a few offloads and delayed passes but can’t get over the line. Eventually the the penalty comes and it’s 27-12 heading into the last quarter.
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Argentina got some lovely passing going, but still no change. Reinach has been superb as a sweeper behind the contact area, hoovering up loads of loose ball. Great appreciation. Excellent box kick and the Boks have a penalty. Jantjies kicks it dead! Silly mistake.
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Materra with a great bust after Argsteal a lineout! They make 30m but eventually a forward pass gives the Boks the scrum.
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No idea what happened, went for a refill. Boks have a lineout just outside the 22. They maul into the 22. Boks make some good yards through Jantjies, Reinach and Marvin Orie, on for Etzebeth and then a knock on. Boks have a penalty though. Lineout. Maul. Marx short, but they keep going and a floated pass from Reinach to Fassi and he’s over! And now the TMO is looking at Marx crawling… fuck me, that’s marginal.
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Great scrum Pumas! And they’ll get back into Bok territory. They’re making lovely individual yards, but just can’t string the phases together. Nothing clicking. Definitely showing more enterprise than the Boks, but can’t brak the Bok defence.
An absolute monster clearance by Fat Frans gives the Boks an attacking lineout. Marco van Staden with a great bust, sets it up, Morne Steyn with the pass to Hendrickse on debut who dots down acrobatically in the corner! 32-12.
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Pumas with a last tango in PE, but not to be. All over. Good win for the Boks considering they started with a fair number of raw players and combinations. Pumas were largely outgunned up front, from the get go, and their backs struggled to get rhythm and momentum. No bonus point, but a good solid win.
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In shocking news for future CMW visits to the West Coast, the Waitrose at Helensburgh has been downgraded to a Morrisons.
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Morrisons has better meat and fish than waitrose. Cheaper booze too. Doesn’t sound like a downgrade.
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@BB – It’ll be my mother-in-law’s local Morrisons then unless there’s one in Oban. Regardless I hope not to have to go there for a very long time.
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@Craigs – You’ll need to compare the cafes for me. I don’t need to avail myself of three packs of chunky breaded haddock fillets for £10 when attending a funeral with six hours at the wheel attached. I’ve been to a Waitrose cafe once as detailed, but never used the Morrisons one in York even though it’s the supermarket we use.
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My visits to Waitrose in York have almost exclusively been to buy whisky and were originally a result of something Ticht flagged up on here. Think I also went there once to buy some essential (not whisky!) that the Morrisons next door didn’t have during the first lockdown.
I did use one on Byres Road in Glasgow a few times when visiting Mrs CMW in her old flat or visiting her brother when it became his flat. It’s probably the local one to Campbeltown now if it’s still there, BB will confirm. There’s some sort of small Tescos on Queen Margaret Drive these days though so the need wouldn’t be there if we stayed at the flat again though really there are too many of us these days to do that in any case.
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Also hoping that BB can tell me whether the big (small town West of Scotland standards) supermarket I’ve been to in Oban in advance of getting the ferry to Mull is a Morrisons or not.
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