Cooney. Baloucoune. Stockdale. McCloskey. All injured last week by the brutal Weegiegibbons. This means Ulster are starting nineteen-year-old Nathan Doak at scrum-half. Good luck to the lad!
Today’s picture was inspired by today’s walkies, where we ran across an enormous Doberman carrying a rugby ball in his mouth (a real ball, not a toy as in this pic). Owner hastily explained that Dobie had ‘found’ the ball and there was not a crying child somewhere.
My own dug was enormously impressed and tried her best to get him to do a bit of rough-and-tumble, but he was disdainful. Or was not going to be fooled into dropping the ball.
Onna telly this week
Friday 1st October
| Scarlets v Lions | 19:35 | BBC2 Wales / Premier Sports 2 |
| Connacht v Bulls | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Bristol v Bath | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 2nd October
| Argentina v Australia | 08:05 | Sky Sports Main Event |
| South Africa v New Zealand | 11:05 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Treviso v Edinburgh | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Lyon v Bordeaux | 14:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Leicester v Saracens | 15:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Glasgow v Sharks | 15:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Biarritz v Toulouse | 16:00 | FreeSports |
| Zebre v Ulster | 17:15 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Ospreys v Cardiff | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Munster v Stormers | 19:35 | RTÉ / Premier Sports 2 |
| Castres v Toulon | 20:05 | FreeSports |
Sunday 3rd October
| Dragons v Leinster | 14:00 | S4C / RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Sale v Exeter | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Clermont v Racing 92 | 20:05 | FreeSports |
Ovally Balls 
Messy restart until Kwagga rips it and heads downfield. Vincent Koch knocks on, Kiwi scrum in midfield. Options both sides. Bok defence holds and turnover with some excellent counter-rucking. Bok lineout just inside their half.
Nkosi off for a HIA and it means Jantjies on, Pollard to centre and Am to the wing.
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Steyn with a great kick, to win the 50-22 lineout thing. Deep in Kiwi 22. The Bok maul makes good ground and then they spin it wide, with Kitshoff sucking in some defenders before quick hands by Jantjies sends Mapimpi over in the corner! Pollard misses again. 22-20 after 53.
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Kiwis win the restart again, but a couple of phases and Marx wins the penalty on the floor. We needed that! Boks are pouring forward now and have another penalty 5m out! Kolisi has stayed down though getting a knee to the head in the tackle. Looks like his day is done. Wiese will replace him, so plenty of go forward there. Another penalty. This one for posts, right in front.
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Jantjies takes it and nails it, 25-20 with the final quarter looming.
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That cross-field was certainly a choice by Barrett.
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Frans Steyn takes the restart and puts the Kiwis back on their 22. Boks winning the collisions and forcing errors, but need more points! Lineout in Kiwi 22. Get to the 5 but Ardie wins the penalty. Cleared to outside the 22. No progress but a relieving penalty.
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Another penalty for a high tackle and the Kiwis go to the corner. 15 to go. They go short and Kitshoff wins it! Faf clears and touched by a Kiwi hand! Bok lineout near their own 10m. Boks have cleared the bench, think NZ have too. Kiwi penalty and Frans Steyn now in trouble for taking out Jordie. Penalty now on SA 10m line. Jordie, having done a Ronaldo now strolls up to take a shot at goal. Easy! 25-23 with NZ first points of the 2nd half.
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De Allende penailsed for deliberate knock, but the Boks contest the lineout and win a scrum. Inside Kiwi turf and inside the last 10 minutes. The Boks can’t hang on here, they need to score. Mostert held up by Ardie and the Kiwis have the scrum inside their own 10m.
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Boks destroy the scrum, but somehow they get it out and scorch downfield! Almost a spectacular try. The Boks scramble but Steyn penailsed for playing it on the floor. Jordie with a shot from 30m out. Etzebeth off with a nasty cut from a head clash with Marx. Barrett taking his time, and nails it! 25-26 and is it heartbreak all over again for the Boks? 4 minutes left.
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Advantage Boks for a high tackle but Jantjies says why? And nails the drop! 28-26! But Boks penalised from the kick off again – a real Achilles Heel – and Barrett with another easy shot. Just inside the upright! 28-29 with 90 seconds on the clock. Oh no Boks! It doesn’t go 10 and the Kiwis have the scrum with 1 minute left. Guaranteed they’ll reset.
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The touchline is 100 m long and van der Walt is a mater at missing it
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Penalty Boks! Just inside our half! Lineout in Kiwi 22. Hooter gone. Huge moment. Boks maul it up and offside! In front of the posts as the Boks went wide! The Boks are celebrating but we still need to kick the fucking penalty! Jantjies – nails it! 31-29 and the Boks have won it! Unbelievable! It looked like they were going to lose a 3rd match on tour in the last minute, but this time they did it!
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Ha, caught the last ten. Nice. Not often that I am happy for the Boks to win. Well done both teams, thinks that one may be worth looking out a full replay.
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If anyone is missing live Gallagher Premiership games, Peacock, the NBC digital platform, shows them all live and on replay. Quick hook up with a proxy server, and a US zip code, and you get them all for something like ten quid a month. Six Nations and European Cup too.
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That was a great match! No idea how many times the lead changed hands, but neither side was prepared to give it up. Absolutely brilliant! The Boks definitely couldn’t put a side out again next week – they’re physically broken out there, but they won’t care! Wow! Thought the Kiwis had stolen it again at the end and nobody would have begrudged them that. They really are on another planet ball in hand, but the Boks just refused to lie down.
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Well done Boks
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Benetton take the points with a 85th minute drop goal
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Sometimes the TMO is technically correct, but the decision is bullshit. Glasgow just got stiffed by an iffy call that I don’t think had any impact. That said, in this particular match it won’t make a difference. They’re a class above the Sharks.
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Glasgow thumping the Sharks 35-10.
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Final score 35-24. Typical. Suns comes out in Glasgow and we stop scoring points.
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Ulster playing in yellow for some stupid marketing reason.
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So far not one for the list of classic matches. Both sides kicking out on the full, Ulster losing two line-outs, etc. Ulster have a penalty around the half-way point, and it looks like they’re going for the corner.
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Absolutely shit kick from Burns only goes to the 22m line.
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There is a bit of mauling then Ulster win another penalty and manage to put it more or less in the corner this time. The maul is engaged again, then it goes a bit wider, and ultimately it’s a try!
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No, it’s not – fooled by the commentator! It’s a penalty to Zebre (which is what I actually thought – more fool me for listening to them).
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Some scrappy play; Ulster win another kick to the corner; possible try but looks short. It is.
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After a scrum V, McIlroy looks to have scored in the corner, but was he in touch?
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There is no head-on camera angle, so it’s hard to say! On-field decision is try, so they may go with it.
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Yay, points! Burns misses the conversion by a mile.
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Zebre kick the ball out on the full at the restart.
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Zebre win the ball back through a crunching tackle, and get in the corner.
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Missed a bit due to horrendously corked wine. Back to see Zebre put the ball out on the full again.
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They then take the ball back into their 22 and put it out on the full again.
We are lucky in the opposition, because we are shit.
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Zebre get a penalty in front of the posts. 3-5 at 34 mins.
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Now Ulster’s turn to put the ball out on the full again.
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TRY Ulster after an extended cat-herding period! McIlroy again, I think.
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Burns misses a much easier conversion, so it’s 3 – 10 at HT.
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Considering shooting the television before the second half starts, to save pain.
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TRY Addison – after more prolonged chaos.
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And Burns actually makes the conversion. I don’t know why Doak isn’t kicking.
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Ulster have had about 25 scrums on the 5m line, ending with a yellow for a Zebre prop who’s only just come on.
Being reset again.
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Ulster finally manage to inexpertly score the BP try.
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Burns sends the conversion attempt vaguely in the direction of the posts. It sails past with a wee wave.
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Ulster manage to look impressive in a minor way for a few seconds, and Zebre get a second concurrent yellow.
Lowry’s on for Burns – is that the difference?
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And indeed another try!
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And Doak nails the conversion. 3-29. Unbelievably, only 63 minutes in; feels like a lifetime.
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Ulster rampaging a bit now, but still manage to knock on in the 22.
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Well, the ball’s getting chucked around a lot, by both sides, but neither can manage to score. Lots of dropsies and shit passes.
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