It has come to my attention that sports that are not Rugby Union not only exist, but have enthusiastic fans. Here is a brief round-up.
Cricket
As I remember it from Primary School, cricket is a sport played with a tennis ball and tennis racquet (see also: Rounders). It didn’t have a very clear objective other than whacking your opponents in the heid with the ball, if you were batting … or indeed if you were fielding.
Fast-forward about twenty years, and find yourself working in Detroit (the horror), when there is a departmental sports day. Your department is IT-related, so it has a fair number of Brits and a lot of Indians. You have to choose between cricket, rounders baseball, and some other shite I don’t remember, probably American Football or possibly Association Football.
You decide the cricket has the most congenial participants.
What you are not prepared for is the level of trash-talking.
You are throwing the ball worse than my very honoured old, old grandmother.
Happily this was not directed at me.
Sheepdog Trials
I am quite enthusiastic about this sport, at least as a televisual spectator. It has cute, furry animals – as well as dogs and sheep – strategy, tactics and drama, and a Four Nations type of rivalry.
In this year’s One Man and His Dog (although many participants are female, and for the adults there were two dogs), tragedy struck when the most horrendously uncooperative sheep ever bred were assigned to the Irish adult contestant, after the junior Irish contestant had had his dog spooked by a fly-over plane. Even the English commentators were awestruck by the recalcitrance of the sheep. Yer poor man had to call his dogs off before their hearts were broken forever.
Everybody smelt a fix-up.
Ice Hockey
Easily the most watchable sport of the popular North American ones – although there may be some interesting Mexican sports what I wot not of – ice hockey is fast-paced and vicious. Players are not afraid to use their deadly-sharp blades against opponents if they can get away with it.
Yet it’s all kindergarten stuff when compared to girls’ hockey in primary school, where there were no proper refs or television replays of fouls. You will notice that a hockey stick is perfectly curved to hook around the ankle, and hard enough to do serious damage if whacked on bone, by ‘mistakenly’ missing the ball.
I played centre forward, and there are no more exciting yet chilling words than ground sticks, ground sticks, ground sticks, ball. Like rugby, you never knew if you would finish the match with the same number of bones or teeth.
Tennis
Tennis is another one of those sports played with a tennis racquet and tennis ball. It can be a good background to a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Recently we had the spectacle of the relatively unknown Brit Emma Raducanu unexpectedly working her way up from the qualifying rounds, without losing a set, to beat a Canadian meringue for the US Open title. She then sacked her coach, and lost the next match in straight sets.
Maybe she will learn from Cardiff, and hire Dai Young.
Dressage
Dressage is a highly under-appreciated sport* in which the goal is to keep your horse’s head tucked into his or her chest and have him/her prance around in various ways. It is much more difficult than it looks, and especially difficult when your horse is a ‘rescued’ Thoroughbred who is more interested in being scared of everything and consequently galloping blindly over everything that exists in the whole wide world while looking more like a panicking giraffe than a tucked-head dressage clone.
It’s therefore very rewarding when you manage to win a minor ribbon.
*All right, it’s boring as hell to watch, except possibly at the very top levels.
Snooker
This is another sport at which I have some competitive experience. Or, as the mister puts it, You played pool, not fucking snooker. Stop telling them to pot all the balls.
I’m sure we can all agree that he is wrong and that Alex ‘Hurricane’ Higgins – who indeed tried to pot all the balls – was the greatest snooker player to ever live.
Equestrian Cross-Country (see also: Steeplechasing)
Avoid. These people are more insane and fearless than the Terminator.
Onna telly this week
Friday 29th October
| Gloucester v Exeter | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 30th October
| Castres v Brive | 14:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Scotland v Tonga | 14:30 | Prime |
| Northampton v Leicester | 15:00 | BT Sport 3 |
| Montpellier v Lyon | 16:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Wales v New Zealand | 17:15 | Prime |
| Bordeaux v Clermont | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 31st October
| England v New Zealand (women) | 14:30 | BBC2 / iPlayer | ||
| Harlequins v Saracens | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Racing 92 v Toulouse | 19:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Lovely stuff Thaum. Mexico’s mad keen on fitba’, but they did have that sport the Aztecs played. Seem to remember the players had to try and put a ball through a hoop, but couldn’t use their hands? Losing team sacrificed to the Aztecs gods. Think Premier Sports have picked it up….
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Also spent far too long looking at the old AoD blogs. Strangely it didn’t take me too long to find the Cat arguing with everyone, Baldy slagging off all the non-English teams (especially the Welsh), Pro coming up with ‘controversial’ opinions and Deebee talking about food.
There was also a lot of pre-2013 Lionz talk. Even some excitement about Scots possibly being picked for a Gatland team! Wonder how that turned out?
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Hi, tonight I am hoping that rugby is the winner*
*please note that Glaws are often incapable of ensuring that rugby wins.
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Now’s your chance – Exeter are strangely fragile at the mo…………………..
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You are too kind, BB.
Slade – I read ‘fragile’ and now I have Prog Rock stuck in my brain. do-do-do-do-DO; do-do-do-do etc.
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And hello Beadle! Good to see you.
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Gloz and Exeter are two English sides that I quite like, so I am happy for rugby to be the winner.
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Just hoping that none of the 3 H’s get injured.
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36 must be at least 36 by now. But he’s doing well.
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36 andHarris key for Glos.
Exeter really miss the power and quality of Hill, Ewers, Vermeulen, Gray, Kirsten, Simmonds.
Current, weaker offering lacks cohesion. Opponents know it.
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Well, a lovely rolling maul and a 10 yard march back for dissent. Beautiful.
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@thaum, thanks pleased to see the site still here.
@Slade 36 is on fire tonight and Chris Harris playing like a Lion. If I supported Leicester I would be feeling comfortable right now. As it is I would only be happy at over 14 points up with less than two minutes on the clock. Exeter strangely weak.
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We had a Chris Harris on the blog, non? Not the same one though – a G journo I think. Likeable chap.
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Yes, it’s all coming back to me: mostly went by another name on the blog . Wales fan, I think.
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*I do remember his other name, but not sure if he wants them associated.
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Thaum, Chris is the only notablog member I’ve met in real life so far, he and “Fräulein” bought a pub down the road from me, she is still there but he isn’t.
They are both good people.
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Ticht – ah, that’s a shame.
Dunno why you haven’t made it to any physical meet-ups (any number of reasons, obvs), but the virtual one feels like I’ve met you in person. Which was a joy.
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I’ve seen your face, and I’ve walked this floor, or something like that!
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LRZ looking quite annoyed
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Both teams trying to lose this
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…and of course we are better at losing than Exe.
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Oh dear. It’s as Beadle said.
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Important for Exeter’s season, that
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@Beadle
Exeter’s forward weakness is due to their injury list/England call-ups:
take out LC-D, Gray, Hill, Ewers, Vermeulen, Simmonds and replace with
– 3rd/4th choice hooker or Yeandle plays 80
– 2nd row Lonsdale and Whitty
– 3rd row Skinner (better in 2nd row but no-one else) Capstick (a bit light but learning fast / Tuima (still trainee) and Armand (a great servant but getting on a bit now).
Also, Joe Simmonds, the regular 10,is not really fit and Skinner is still learning and rattleable.
Having said that, it’s a great chance for the 2nd/3rd choices to get experience and tonight it worked.
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The 3 H’s.
Hogg – pretty quiet, some good kicks, some good tackles, almost throws an interception, big kick downfield leads to Exeter try (eventually).
Hastings – still feeling his way into the Gloucester team I think. Kicking from T was good, a nice wee chip over the top. Still think he’s too hesitant at times (and thought this when he was at Glasgow too).
Harris – the best of all of them, and still an underrated player (I think). Excellent in defence and good in attack.
And none of them got injured.
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Skinner was overall quiet, BB.
I thought Harris was excellent, every inch a Lion, he is such a good player who only catches the eye if you look for him, but he makes others around him play well – our Conrad Smith if you like
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@slade well done Exe really dogged that out in the second half. Should be the home side doing that at Kingsholm but those days are long gone now. The crowd knows it too, the schema of the team is vulnerability and fragility, top two inches stuff. Hope Skivington can inculcate a culture but the actors come and go but the stage remains the same.
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@ticht Harris as any time I see him is so consistent and strong and big hearted. He will tackle for the team all day long which makes him a Glaws Legend but he also makes good decisions going forward.
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@Beadle
Fact is, apart from Worcs. currently there are no ‘easy’ games – so confidence and ‘top 2 inches’ are very, very important.
Exeter winning a game without 8 or 9 sure first picks is great for the squad morale.
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Think that’s true, Slade. It concerns me when Skivington in the post match says that Exe are just too good. Most teams are tough and hard to beat but there was enough inconsistency today for Glaws to have won. Opportunity not taken.
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Beadle, I think there are a lot of positives for your guys, pack is just about right, with returns to come in the second row. Meehan getting too much game time I think, Chapman and Varney both quicker to the ball, faster pass, and lively round the edges. His kicking with either foot is handy, but not everything. Hastings not clicking yet, but 11-15 is well stocked with multiple excellent options. And of course everytime Ben Morgan is on the pitch he gives a masterclass in what the bloke at the back of the scrum should do at the set piece. Decent improvement on last season, plenty to be positive about I would think. More than poor old Slades Exeter, who are definitely on the slide :)
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…………watch it!!!!!
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Looks like the ‘Mish has handed on his mullet to Jamie Ritchie.
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‘Mon Scotland!
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Darcy Graham – meet a bloody huge Tongan.
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They’re being awfy mean to poor wee darcy
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Yes! Rufus McLean over for his first try!
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Maybe not. Knock on? Hit Ritchie’s shoulder. Try stands!
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Some non existent tackling there. Not going to grumble though
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Tonga back in it with a penalty. 7-3
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Ooh, nice by McLean
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McLean in for his second! This guy could be a star.
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First player born this century to play for (and score) for Scotland. Just to make me feel really old.
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Wow! Saw the first few mins, in which Tonga looked very scary, realised I was out of fags, and now it’s 14-3!
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Poor darcy gets melted again
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3rd try – Kyle Steyn. Too easy from the scrum.
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Tonga defence all over the place, can’t cope with the first phase back moves
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Handy kicker this tonga 15
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Think Scots can give a sigh of relief now.
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Another try this time for Schoeman. Did it the Exeter way.
We’re scoring tries, Tonga scoring penalties.
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