The Autumn Internationals or End of Year Tours start in earnest this weekend after two weeks of watching the Kiwis dismantle half-baked sides in the name of ‘growing the global game for a few million pounds, mate’. Gents that they are. After the rancour of the Lions Tour (with more of the players now tearing up the St Gats Bible and tossing it onto the fire of missed opportunity, and the gross miscarriage of justice in holding the Rugby Championship in the backwater towns of a backwater penal colony, we get to some good old fashioned, meaty, North versus South matches: the northerners itching to avenge the defeats of the Lions tours or for those not involved to pick up some scalps as we hurtle towards France 2023 and putting down markers. For the southerners, it’s a chance to meet up with childhood family and friends who’ve strayed from home and been punished for it by having to endure the long bleak winters of their discontent (and weather and losing to the fleet of foot colonials). So to it!
Ireland v Japan
The unsmiling Irish will be looking for another, more convincing win against the Brave Blossoms, to further eradicate the memories of losing in the World Cup to Japan. They got a 39-31 victory in July, but will be looking to turn the screws this time and stamp their authority on the match. Sexton’s century and a very strong looking pack will be too much for the Blossoms, as Ireland take it by 25.
Italy v New Zealand
Not really much point in discussing this one, other than whether or not the Kiwis have put out a second- or third-choice side against the Abject Azzurri. Dane Coles and Sam Cane are the most experienced starters in the side with 75+ caps each, but from there is a long way down to Damian McKenzie and Richie Mo’unga at 38 and 29 respectively and then down to most having not more than a handful of caps. ‘A youthful combination’ is how the Kiwis have framed it, but whatever, they’ll still stick loads on Italy. New Zealand by 56
Spain v Fiji
Absolutely no idea what Spain’s 15s side is like and I can’t be bothered to Google it either. They’ve had a couple of decent wins in the 7zzz in recent years, but won’t be a match for Fiji who should simply be too physical, fast and inventive. Fiji blow hot and cold though, both temperamentally and skills wise, so it may not be the massive blow out expected. Fiji by 19
Portugal v Canada
Last time I looked the Cannucks were bloody awful. They got slapped silly in July by both Wales and England and have a win and a loss against both the USA and Chile in the current 2023 World Cup campaign, so not much to write home about. Portugal currently sit second in the Rugby Europe Championship behind powerhouses Georgia (drop Italy etc!) and look like a decent emerging side at that level. They’ve thumped Spain, Russia and Netherlands and lost to Georgia and Romania. Should be a narrow win for Canada based on experience, but stuff that – Portugal by 2.
England v Tonga
England injecting some new blood into the system, but retaining enough firepower to demolish Tonga after a sluggish start. Don’t expect any surprises in this one, bar perhaps all 15 Tongans staying on the pitch. England to win by how much they want to, and how much they’re keeping in reserve for the bigger matches to come. England by 51.
Wales v South Africa
One of the matches of the round! Wales have had the Boks number in Cardiff in recent years and have their foreign-based players back in the side after missing out against the Kiwis. An under-strength Wales were game for 55 minutes nonetheless and will feel confident that they can go one further and compete with – and beat – the Boks this weekend. The loss of AWJ is massive however, and the Boks arrive in town buoyed by their win over New Zealand and with a very strong pack. Some doubts out wide with Kolbe and Nkosi both missing and le Roux dropped, but the Boks will reverse recent form and win a hard, uncompromising duel in the end. South Africa by 8.
France v Argentina
This would have been a lip-smacker a few years ago, but Argentina have gone off the boil in the last year or so. France have improved, but still manage to confound every now and then. Which France will pitch up etc and which Pumas side will pitch up? No idea on either score, but at home, and with the depth they’ve got, it’s France for the win. Being a conservative Saffer, I’ve gone by 11 points to France, but it could be a lot more if they get going. Or not, if they don’t.
Romania v Uruguay
Romania may not be the side they were under Ceausescu, but they’re handily placed in Tier 2 of European rugby. They narrowly lost a friendly to Argentina in July, for what it’s worth, so do have some ability at the top level. Uruguay had a great 2019 World Cup and have qualified for 2023 as well, belting the USA out of the way in the process. That should see them as favourites for this match, but in a Romanian autumn, anything is possible. Romania by 4.
Scotland v Australia
Scotland warmed up for their bunnies with a sumptuous performance last weekend, missed by some Scots here who were foolishly hiding behind their sofas. They ran in some excellent tries, albeit some of the tackling was optional at times, but you’ve still got to get them in. They face an Australia that recovered from their traditional shellacking by the Ballsacks to beat both the Boks and Argentina twice, albeit all matches played in Australia. Still, the Aussies seem to be growing in confidence and getting a bit of backbone into their side. A tough match, but one I think will go the Wobblies’ way in the end. Australia by 7.
Preview gracias a Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Friday 5th November
| Leicester v Bath | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| La Rochelle v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Saturday 6th November
| Ireland v Japan | 13:00 | Channel 4 / RTÉ2 |
| Italy v New Zealand | 13:00 | Prime |
| Toulouse v Perpignan | 13:45 | Premier Sports 2 |
| England v Tonga | 15:15 | Prime |
| Brive v Racing 92 | 16:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Wales v South Africa | 17:30 | Prime |
| France v Argentina | 20:00 | Prime |
Sunday 7th November
| Scotland v Australia | 14:15 | Prime | ||
| England v New Zealand (women) | 14:45 | BBC2 / iPlayer | ||
| Wasps v Harlequins | 16:30 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Clermont v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Tim, Jaminet played v Australia in the summer out of ProD2. Good goalkicker, hefty boot. Decent enough player. Only 22 still.
Also, and very pleasingly, he’s a French lad called Melvyn, after Hayes.
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What Tomp said.
Got his first cap vs Australia with not a single T14 game under his belt, as he played for just promoted Perpignan. I had barely heard of him before the summer tour. Excellent kicker, reliable FB, already linked with Toulouse, probably the long term solution for Galthié as Dulin is already beyond 30.
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Words Deebs.
the gross miscarriage of justice in holding the Rugby Championship in the backwater towns of a backwater penal colony
Nice.
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Australia: 15 Andrew Kellaway, 14 Tom Wright, 13 Len Ikitau, 12 Hunter Paisami, 11 Jordan Petaia, 10 James O’Connor, 9 Nic White, 8 Rob Valetini, 7 Michael Hooper (c), 6 Rob Leota, 5 Izack Rodda, 4 Rory Arnold, 3 Allan Alaalatoa, 2 Folau Fainga’a, 1 James Slipper
Replacements: 16 Connal McInerney, 17 Angus Bell, 18 Taniela Tupou, 19 Will Skelton, 20 Pete Samu, 21 Tate McDermott, 22 Kurtley Beale, 23 Izaia Perese
Looks weak, Scotland by a billion.
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Quick question: which Test team has scored the most tries in a calendar year?
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I saw this yesterday. It’s not NZ. The team it was must have played a few games against Tier 2 sides that year.
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Scotland in about 2012.
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Did the Boks get to play us more than once when they stuck 90-odd on us? Could have been then.
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Just checked on that TomP. Only one match against Australia and didn’t play Scotland that year either. Had some very good wins against top sides though!
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CMW – not the Boks in ’98. TomP is on the right track. One absolute blowout win and a lot of other high scoring results. It was a year of low quality top sides though. Probably the worst top tier in history.
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UK gone back an hour again I assume? Was hoping to see some rugby tonight, but fear my wine will evaporate first.
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2007 World Cup?
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Just noticed that the boks haven’t won in Cardiff for ages. Hmmmm.
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Is Leicester vs Bath (or, more probably Leicester thumping Bath) the only Prem game this weekend? Or just the only one on TV.
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BB – I refer you to ATL and Wasps v Quins on Sunday. The other matches are not televised, apparently.
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Sorry Thaum, there’s only one match on Sunday that’s important! I’m assuming there must be some sort of agreement that league games don’t get televised while internationals are on.
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There are usually a few that don’t get the privilege, for whatever reason.
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I’d be raging if I were paying to watch sport & my team’s match was not televised.
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The non-televised ones are: Brizzle v Wuss; Borg v Rapists, Sharks v Norsehampton and Exeter v Geordies, all on Saturday.
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Some statistics warm the heart. Tonight is the 60th consecutive sold out game in La Rochelle.
It began in January 2016.
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CMW – one vintage earlier.
Craigs – yip, Wales heavy favourites. Only half joking. Other than World Cup matches they’ve had us on toast for a while.
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Deebee, I’ve just googled some of the results for Argentina in 2003. I think the site I saw claim it was them had it wrong as I can’t see how they managed the 91 that’s claimed for them. However, it was allblacks.com so I’ll have to take their word for it.
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Flair, that’s a wonderful stat!
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Tigers edge ahead as the fireworks kick off. Bath have been game but they’re trying to plug the dyke with a plaster. And suddenly Tigers burst through and it’s 20-10 in a flash.
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I did wonder why Matt Scott had gone to Leicester. But then they were shite at that particular point. They aren’t now and Matt’s form should see him back in Scotland reckoning (if he hasn’t been already). Although we are pretty strong in the centres.
On the other side of that, haven’t seen Cam Redpath for a while. Hope he gets back soon, because we only saw glimpses of what he can do.
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Deebee,
La Rochelle population: 75.000 people
Average rugby attendance: 16.000
Not bad, huh?
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Flair, I have a new bucket list entry. It must be fantastic on match days to head to the stadium and then to a bar or restaurant afterwards. Atmosphere in the town must be brilliant.
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Does La Rochelle need a chippy aging 9 at all? One that will support restaurants and bars generously?
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Deebs, have you been to Cardiff on a match day? Fab.
Another memorable one was taking the train back to Belfast from Dublin after Ireland had beaten England at Lansdowne Road. There was much singing (and some very annoying drunks who weren’t us, for balance).
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There’s a French soccer club whose stadium’s capacity is higher than the town’s population.
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Thaum – for a minute there I thought you’d miss-spelt ‘racists’.
Fuck London Irish
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Forgot to say, good words ATL Deebee.
You’d love LaR.
A bit old fashioned small city by the ocean, stadium only a 10 minutes walk to the center, great food, great bars.
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Tomp, is that Guingamp? Could be Auxerre or Bastia.
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Flair – If I recall correctly, La Rochelle features prominently in the Three Musketeers books.
Craigs – indeed. One of the rare times when I’d prefer the Borg to win.
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flair, it wasn’t Guingamp that I was thinking of but they seem to fit the bill rather better than the one I had in mind, Lens. It got mentioned often in the 1998 World Cup and always when Lens were a decent side playing in European competition.
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I went on two exchanges to (the basketball town of) Cholet when I was a nipper. La Rochelle is very pleasant as is (are?) Les Sables d’Ollone.
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Basketball, in France? Mais c’est bizarre, ça.
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Thaum, lots of action in La R in The three Musketeers. One of my favourite novels.
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They’re good at it, thaum. They beat the US at the Olympics this year – but lost in the re-match in the final.
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Flair – yes, they are wonderful moustache-twirling romps.
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When I was very much younger, and worked with a lot of French people, I (got pissed and) wrote a parody of the Three Musketeers – in French – where the main characters were reassigned as various colleagues.
This was inspired by me realising that one of said French colleagues referring to me as ‘Milédi’ was neither accidental nor polite. So of course she was recast as a misunderstood heroine. I had my revenge on him too.
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To call you Milédi was quite cheeky. Think the reference would be lost nowadays.
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LaR just celebrated their 60th sold out stadium with a win over (ex) leader Bordeaux 26/3. Not the best game but quite ferocious.
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That’s a great stat for La Rochelle, though when I think of the southern sides I think of Stade Toulousain and the hordes of supporters with their huge black and red flags, or the intensity of the Basque sides and their supporters.
Perpignan on the other side of the Pyrenees have their own intensity.
I love the idea of French rugby, the T14 doesn’t deliver on the idea as much as I’d like it to, I hope the national side can make us all fall in love with them again
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It was indeed cheeky, Flair, and I’m not sure he thought I would get the reference!
He was a decent bloke, though. Our work relationship was adversarial through no fault of either of us, but down to the politics of the organisation. There was a mutual respect nevertheless (well, I hope it was mutual).
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What’s the Milédi reference?
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Milédi (Milady) is the beautiful but absolutely ruthless villain of the first book.
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I think I cast the colleague in question as Aramis, with some alterations.
The big boss who created the toxic atmosphere was obviously Richelieu.
Il n’y avait pas d’Artagnan, malheureusement.
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Just read that Farrell has covid. That must seriously disrupt England preparation. Hope he gets well soon.
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Ouais, quel dommage.
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