The Autumn Internationals or End of Year Tours start in earnest this weekend after two weeks of watching the Kiwis dismantle half-baked sides in the name of ‘growing the global game for a few million pounds, mate’. Gents that they are. After the rancour of the Lions Tour (with more of the players now tearing up the St Gats Bible and tossing it onto the fire of missed opportunity, and the gross miscarriage of justice in holding the Rugby Championship in the backwater towns of a backwater penal colony, we get to some good old fashioned, meaty, North versus South matches: the northerners itching to avenge the defeats of the Lions tours or for those not involved to pick up some scalps as we hurtle towards France 2023 and putting down markers. For the southerners, it’s a chance to meet up with childhood family and friends who’ve strayed from home and been punished for it by having to endure the long bleak winters of their discontent (and weather and losing to the fleet of foot colonials). So to it!
Ireland v Japan
The unsmiling Irish will be looking for another, more convincing win against the Brave Blossoms, to further eradicate the memories of losing in the World Cup to Japan. They got a 39-31 victory in July, but will be looking to turn the screws this time and stamp their authority on the match. Sexton’s century and a very strong looking pack will be too much for the Blossoms, as Ireland take it by 25.
Italy v New Zealand
Not really much point in discussing this one, other than whether or not the Kiwis have put out a second- or third-choice side against the Abject Azzurri. Dane Coles and Sam Cane are the most experienced starters in the side with 75+ caps each, but from there is a long way down to Damian McKenzie and Richie Mo’unga at 38 and 29 respectively and then down to most having not more than a handful of caps. ‘A youthful combination’ is how the Kiwis have framed it, but whatever, they’ll still stick loads on Italy. New Zealand by 56
Spain v Fiji
Absolutely no idea what Spain’s 15s side is like and I can’t be bothered to Google it either. They’ve had a couple of decent wins in the 7zzz in recent years, but won’t be a match for Fiji who should simply be too physical, fast and inventive. Fiji blow hot and cold though, both temperamentally and skills wise, so it may not be the massive blow out expected. Fiji by 19
Portugal v Canada
Last time I looked the Cannucks were bloody awful. They got slapped silly in July by both Wales and England and have a win and a loss against both the USA and Chile in the current 2023 World Cup campaign, so not much to write home about. Portugal currently sit second in the Rugby Europe Championship behind powerhouses Georgia (drop Italy etc!) and look like a decent emerging side at that level. They’ve thumped Spain, Russia and Netherlands and lost to Georgia and Romania. Should be a narrow win for Canada based on experience, but stuff that – Portugal by 2.
England v Tonga
England injecting some new blood into the system, but retaining enough firepower to demolish Tonga after a sluggish start. Don’t expect any surprises in this one, bar perhaps all 15 Tongans staying on the pitch. England to win by how much they want to, and how much they’re keeping in reserve for the bigger matches to come. England by 51.
Wales v South Africa
One of the matches of the round! Wales have had the Boks number in Cardiff in recent years and have their foreign-based players back in the side after missing out against the Kiwis. An under-strength Wales were game for 55 minutes nonetheless and will feel confident that they can go one further and compete with – and beat – the Boks this weekend. The loss of AWJ is massive however, and the Boks arrive in town buoyed by their win over New Zealand and with a very strong pack. Some doubts out wide with Kolbe and Nkosi both missing and le Roux dropped, but the Boks will reverse recent form and win a hard, uncompromising duel in the end. South Africa by 8.
France v Argentina
This would have been a lip-smacker a few years ago, but Argentina have gone off the boil in the last year or so. France have improved, but still manage to confound every now and then. Which France will pitch up etc and which Pumas side will pitch up? No idea on either score, but at home, and with the depth they’ve got, it’s France for the win. Being a conservative Saffer, I’ve gone by 11 points to France, but it could be a lot more if they get going. Or not, if they don’t.
Romania v Uruguay
Romania may not be the side they were under Ceausescu, but they’re handily placed in Tier 2 of European rugby. They narrowly lost a friendly to Argentina in July, for what it’s worth, so do have some ability at the top level. Uruguay had a great 2019 World Cup and have qualified for 2023 as well, belting the USA out of the way in the process. That should see them as favourites for this match, but in a Romanian autumn, anything is possible. Romania by 4.
Scotland v Australia
Scotland warmed up for their bunnies with a sumptuous performance last weekend, missed by some Scots here who were foolishly hiding behind their sofas. They ran in some excellent tries, albeit some of the tackling was optional at times, but you’ve still got to get them in. They face an Australia that recovered from their traditional shellacking by the Ballsacks to beat both the Boks and Argentina twice, albeit all matches played in Australia. Still, the Aussies seem to be growing in confidence and getting a bit of backbone into their side. A tough match, but one I think will go the Wobblies’ way in the end. Australia by 7.
Preview gracias a Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Friday 5th November
| Leicester v Bath | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| La Rochelle v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Saturday 6th November
| Ireland v Japan | 13:00 | Channel 4 / RTÉ2 |
| Italy v New Zealand | 13:00 | Prime |
| Toulouse v Perpignan | 13:45 | Premier Sports 2 |
| England v Tonga | 15:15 | Prime |
| Brive v Racing 92 | 16:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Wales v South Africa | 17:30 | Prime |
| France v Argentina | 20:00 | Prime |
Sunday 7th November
| Scotland v Australia | 14:15 | Prime | ||
| England v New Zealand (women) | 14:45 | BBC2 / iPlayer | ||
| Wasps v Harlequins | 16:30 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Clermont v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Jeez, boot the ball up the park
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Dumb play in our own 22
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And that’s the result. Good by Australia , pish defence
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Oh dear, Scotland.
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Perese’s had a good few minutes.
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Aus are going to run out of props soon.
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Dammit Scotland! Did they need the floated pass? Looked like 3 on 2 to me.
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Should have scored there
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That was a hell of a finish.
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Really nice try! Thought for sure he’d be in touch.
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Ashman scoring like a winger! Perhaps…
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What a try that was!
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Ashman scoring like a rugby league winger.
Ahem.
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Huzzah
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Great finish
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Great finish. Woohoo.
Skooman got Slipper on toast here, I would be tempted to start knocking the ball on on purpose to get more scrums.
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Great stuff! On debut! Easy game innit?
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Arse. Got a bad feeling about this
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Ok my bum is squeaking
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All you need to do is hang on to the ball and not have any brain farts, Chimpie.
… oh
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Could’ve predicted it would be Finn.
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Aargh
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I think you could describe this as a little frantic.
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Big error by O’connor
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Hooray! Well done, Scotland.
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Oof well done Scots. Never in doubt.
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Thank flup for that
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Great stuff Scots
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Well done Scotland, draw would have been nothing to complain about, great entertainment. Wobblies missing Quade, I suspect.
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That was a helluva finish! Great stuff Scotland! Some stunning length of the field stuff that with a bit more patience or a different option, would’ve seen some sumptuous scores.
Boks will have to be very sharp next week on defence – and in the tight stuff.
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Bravo les Écossais. Could’ve gone either way, good watch for a neutral. Ahem.
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I’ll take that. A tight game against a team in form and grinding out a win. Like we did against England and France. Continuing to build a little bit of strength in depth too.
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A good tight Test, BB. England and Ireland with big wins over lesser opponents (sorry Japan, in every sense), France did the necessary against Argentina and Scotland with a very good win over Aus. Only Wales of the top NH sides lost and that was tight too. Sets up some tasty matches for this weekend and next!
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In hindsight and having watched some highlights from the Wales-Bok Test, I may have been a bit harsh in the moaning about the style. It was shitty weather and the Bok backs were without 4 top players in Faf, Cheslin, S’bu Nkosi and Willie le Roux (albeit the last by choice). Shifting Kriel to the wing and having Willemse off after 20 minutes was also disruptive. Pollard simply isn’t on song and H Jantjies is technically deficient for this level and in those conditions.
Reinach is a bit slow from the base but a better game manager, Nkosi or Fassi must start against Scotland and possibly keep Fat Frans at 15 from the off.
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There is also a school of thought that Pollard requires the playmaking skills of le Roux in order for him to function optimally, but if that’s the case, maybe we should ditch him anyway – Willie won’t be at the next World Cup. But first things first – a helluva tricky trip to Edinburgh and a pumped up Scottish side. I’m already shitting myself about Jantjies, H sending another fusillade of hopeless box kicks onto the likes of DVDM, Hogg, Graham and Finn to run back at us with better precision than this weekend.
I’d rather we kept ball in hand and used de Allende more to punch holes and set up phases. All of this points to same again and the horrifying prospect of a joyous Murrayfield come the final whistle. The horror!
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Calm down, colonel kurtz, keep yer hair on.
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I would have thought next week would be another close one, but the boks having the fizzical edge in the back and sneaking it.
There was too much trying to play in the wrong areas of the pitch yesterday, that’s not the way to win against the saffa D.
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We strayed onto a rugby discussion on the politics blog the other day, as you do, and Professor Pineapple had this to say:
Talking of big.
Statistics compiled by the Guardian have found England and New Zealand players are, on average, between 1st 10lb and 2st (11-13kg) heavier per man compared with their counterparts in their first World Cup meeting in 1991.
While it is well known the switch to professionalism in 1995 prompted advances in fitness and conditioning, the increased weight is increasingly striking. England’s 1991 team, considered big by the standards of the day, weighed 14st 8lb (94.3kg) on average, compared with 16st 6lb (105.8kg) in 2019.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/oct/24/england-new-zealand-weight-rugby-world-cup-semi-final
In the matchday programme for the England v Wales Five Nations clash of 1978, the weights of the Welsh players are listed.
Winger Gerald Davies comes in at 11st 8lbs, his fellow winger JJ Williams 12st dead on. They’re both 5ft 9ins.
Ray Gravell – the big, bruising centre of his day – is 5ft 11in and 13st 7lbs.
Compare that to today’s players. Wales’ first choice winger, George North, comes in at 17st – a full five stones heavier than his 1978 predecessors.
And Jamie Roberts, Wales’ modern day battering ram of a centre comes in at 17st 3lbs, nearly four stones heavier than Ray Gravell.
At outside half, Dan Biggar is more than three stones heavier than Phil Bennett was.
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/sport/rugby/rugby-news/weight-strength-speed-rugby-players-10376705
Hope rugby isn’t heading the way of some sports where only those with extreme physiques can play
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I’d keep my hair on if I had any! That ship sailed many moons ago! We need to get the balance right on Saturday, especially behind the scrum. Our pack will be okay and hopefully we get to jackal as many on the floor as Scotland do. It’s the 9-10-15 axis I’m worried about and hope that Nkosi is back on the wing, with Willie back at 15, for a more settled back division. Is it time to give Elton the 10 jersey again? His alleged lack of BMT surely can’t be worse than Pollard’s rabbit in the headlights approach at the moment. That would also open the door to Reinach at 9 in place of H Jantjies, without upsetting the racial balance of the squad, which is always still an issue here.*
* Please note, I said racial balance – not quota balance: every player in the squad is, in my opinion, there because they’re good enough, not because of their skin colour, but the coaches still have targets to meet, which can complicate selection at times.
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It’s a conundrum for Nienaber and Rassie. They don’t want to lose any games, of course, but have to bring some young lads into the squad for experience.
Herschel was probably nervous playing against some old mates from Llanelli.
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thaum,
It’s kinda understandable people are bigger generally. These lads are training all the time and there have been developments in conditioning and that sort of things.
This is the classic – over a shorter timespan as that article as well:
(PS Quite a good conversion rate of schools internationals to senior internationals in that team – 7. Not all for SA, mind)
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Yes, good point about people in general being bigger.
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Books are DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMED!!!
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Ffs autocorrect.
Boks are doomed obvs.
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Still marveling at the Red Roses achievement. Smashing your closest rivals twice in two weekends is awesome.
I know they are the only fully pro wimmins team but still.
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Well, it wasn’t a festival of rugby yesterday, but I’ll take a win over the world number 3 team whilst not playing at out best.
We look rusty and things just weren’t coming off, we never really got going and the defences of both teams will nullifying the other.
I’ll be surprised if Zander Fagerson escapes sanction, he is becoming increasingly stupid and he was very lucky to stay on the park after sticking his hands all over Hooper’s face – there was definite contact with the eye area, he will argue it was accidental but wtf was he doing with his hands in Hooper’s face to begin with?
Idiot, absolute stupidity and I have to be consistent here, I hate gouging and wouldn’t be upset to see him get a lengthy ban.
However, as he was the only first choice tight five player available it leaves us in a bit of a spot, we have a guy three or four games in to being converted to a tighthead and Scarlets’, what, third or fourth choice tighthead, or call up WP Nel who just doesn’t have puff for international rugby now.
It’s just as well we are not facing a team famous for their pick pack physicality, eh?
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pick pack physicality?
Big pack physicality
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A plug for Fahrenheit 451??
I’d imagine it only make sense now to Americans – but Celsius 233 isn’t quite as snappy for some reason
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It wasn’t replayed too often (at least not on Amazon Prime) and I didn’t take it as a gouge but players know well enough that in the ‘pushing and shoving’ dance you keep your hands down.
Lucky the penalty wasn’t reversed…. can you reverse a pen given for “foul play” if there’s subsequent foul play?
Also wouldn’t a citing only be relevant if they think a red was in order ?
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Trisk, I think you’re right, but fingers around the eye area is a red offence, so I’ll be surprised if he gets away with it.
It would really hurt us, but he needs to learn, he won’t get any 50% reduction after his red last year either.
He just seems to lose the plot too easily.
Otoh, looking for positives, Ewan Ashman is the real deal, we were hoping he would be and that was a terrific debut, he can be excused the rush of blood to the head when he jumped on the maul to give away a late penalty, apart from that he was very good
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