The Autumn Internationals or End of Year Tours start in earnest this weekend after two weeks of watching the Kiwis dismantle half-baked sides in the name of ‘growing the global game for a few million pounds, mate’. Gents that they are. After the rancour of the Lions Tour (with more of the players now tearing up the St Gats Bible and tossing it onto the fire of missed opportunity, and the gross miscarriage of justice in holding the Rugby Championship in the backwater towns of a backwater penal colony, we get to some good old fashioned, meaty, North versus South matches: the northerners itching to avenge the defeats of the Lions tours or for those not involved to pick up some scalps as we hurtle towards France 2023 and putting down markers. For the southerners, it’s a chance to meet up with childhood family and friends who’ve strayed from home and been punished for it by having to endure the long bleak winters of their discontent (and weather and losing to the fleet of foot colonials). So to it!
Ireland v Japan
The unsmiling Irish will be looking for another, more convincing win against the Brave Blossoms, to further eradicate the memories of losing in the World Cup to Japan. They got a 39-31 victory in July, but will be looking to turn the screws this time and stamp their authority on the match. Sexton’s century and a very strong looking pack will be too much for the Blossoms, as Ireland take it by 25.
Italy v New Zealand
Not really much point in discussing this one, other than whether or not the Kiwis have put out a second- or third-choice side against the Abject Azzurri. Dane Coles and Sam Cane are the most experienced starters in the side with 75+ caps each, but from there is a long way down to Damian McKenzie and Richie Mo’unga at 38 and 29 respectively and then down to most having not more than a handful of caps. ‘A youthful combination’ is how the Kiwis have framed it, but whatever, they’ll still stick loads on Italy. New Zealand by 56
Spain v Fiji
Absolutely no idea what Spain’s 15s side is like and I can’t be bothered to Google it either. They’ve had a couple of decent wins in the 7zzz in recent years, but won’t be a match for Fiji who should simply be too physical, fast and inventive. Fiji blow hot and cold though, both temperamentally and skills wise, so it may not be the massive blow out expected. Fiji by 19
Portugal v Canada
Last time I looked the Cannucks were bloody awful. They got slapped silly in July by both Wales and England and have a win and a loss against both the USA and Chile in the current 2023 World Cup campaign, so not much to write home about. Portugal currently sit second in the Rugby Europe Championship behind powerhouses Georgia (drop Italy etc!) and look like a decent emerging side at that level. They’ve thumped Spain, Russia and Netherlands and lost to Georgia and Romania. Should be a narrow win for Canada based on experience, but stuff that – Portugal by 2.
England v Tonga
England injecting some new blood into the system, but retaining enough firepower to demolish Tonga after a sluggish start. Don’t expect any surprises in this one, bar perhaps all 15 Tongans staying on the pitch. England to win by how much they want to, and how much they’re keeping in reserve for the bigger matches to come. England by 51.
Wales v South Africa
One of the matches of the round! Wales have had the Boks number in Cardiff in recent years and have their foreign-based players back in the side after missing out against the Kiwis. An under-strength Wales were game for 55 minutes nonetheless and will feel confident that they can go one further and compete with – and beat – the Boks this weekend. The loss of AWJ is massive however, and the Boks arrive in town buoyed by their win over New Zealand and with a very strong pack. Some doubts out wide with Kolbe and Nkosi both missing and le Roux dropped, but the Boks will reverse recent form and win a hard, uncompromising duel in the end. South Africa by 8.
France v Argentina
This would have been a lip-smacker a few years ago, but Argentina have gone off the boil in the last year or so. France have improved, but still manage to confound every now and then. Which France will pitch up etc and which Pumas side will pitch up? No idea on either score, but at home, and with the depth they’ve got, it’s France for the win. Being a conservative Saffer, I’ve gone by 11 points to France, but it could be a lot more if they get going. Or not, if they don’t.
Romania v Uruguay
Romania may not be the side they were under Ceausescu, but they’re handily placed in Tier 2 of European rugby. They narrowly lost a friendly to Argentina in July, for what it’s worth, so do have some ability at the top level. Uruguay had a great 2019 World Cup and have qualified for 2023 as well, belting the USA out of the way in the process. That should see them as favourites for this match, but in a Romanian autumn, anything is possible. Romania by 4.
Scotland v Australia
Scotland warmed up for their bunnies with a sumptuous performance last weekend, missed by some Scots here who were foolishly hiding behind their sofas. They ran in some excellent tries, albeit some of the tackling was optional at times, but you’ve still got to get them in. They face an Australia that recovered from their traditional shellacking by the Ballsacks to beat both the Boks and Argentina twice, albeit all matches played in Australia. Still, the Aussies seem to be growing in confidence and getting a bit of backbone into their side. A tough match, but one I think will go the Wobblies’ way in the end. Australia by 7.
Preview gracias a Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Friday 5th November
| Leicester v Bath | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| La Rochelle v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Saturday 6th November
| Ireland v Japan | 13:00 | Channel 4 / RTÉ2 |
| Italy v New Zealand | 13:00 | Prime |
| Toulouse v Perpignan | 13:45 | Premier Sports 2 |
| England v Tonga | 15:15 | Prime |
| Brive v Racing 92 | 16:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Wales v South Africa | 17:30 | Prime |
| France v Argentina | 20:00 | Prime |
Sunday 7th November
| Scotland v Australia | 14:15 | Prime | ||
| England v New Zealand (women) | 14:45 | BBC2 / iPlayer | ||
| Wasps v Harlequins | 16:30 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Clermont v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Yeah that was dumb by Zander, wasn’t the only dumb thing he did in that game either. Needs to focus on the basics.
Ashman looks the biz. Real shame for Turner, if that’s concussion related we’ll lose him for next week too.
Been a big fan of Rambo as a player over the years but he’s not been at his best of late.
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Chimpie, I heard that it was Turner’s ribs, so still out next week probably
Peak Rambo is our best hooker, but he’s off the boil like you say. I’d pick Cherry on the pine and start Ashman tbh
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Also, i liked the look of Josh Bayliss
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It was a fine intervention he did to rip the ball at the end.
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I hear the siren call of the bookmakers calling.
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One thing that continues to bother me is how shit the hairstyles are in rugby matches. I’ll stick to England but what the fuck is Tom Curry thinking? And Henry Slade? Is there a reason for this trend, are they trolling me, am I out of touch with recent fashion trends (unlikely) or is there some other reason?
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You’re old, Craigs.
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Tomp – no, I refuse to believe that to be a factor. Something has gone wrong with today’s youth I tell ye.
*shakes fist*
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Also, this is great. Like super awesome great. Just needs JBP and Andrew Yang to join and I’ll definitely enrol.
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Some of them look like they went in and changed their mind halfway or had to leave due to an emergency….
I used to be able to spot my own children from a distance by their long hair. I suppose they revolted against my tendency to “big hair”.
Now – on a rugby field or GAA field – I can only tell them by their running style as they have the same haircut as each other and pretty much every other teenager in a 20 mile (or 30km) radius. Now, when it rains or they’re on the far wing – they all look alike.
Were we so conventional….. my recollection was that we tried to be different … I suppose we weren’t as alternative as we remember……
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Trisk – it’s more the fact that they seem to go out of their way to make themselves looked stoopid.
The mullet should never make a comeback.
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Exeter players have a charity thing going that involves hair cuts, I believe.
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Breaking News………………………………Eddie Jones is a grade ‘A’ twat.*
* ref comments re young Ms Raducanu, in addition to other issues
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@craigs
Looking at that list of names involved in that university I reckon their engineering department might be a bit lightweight.
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OT – definitely submit your application. Have you also considered the Renegade University? Some of their engineering projects are inspired:
https://renegadeuniversity.com/product/make-your-own-guns-glock-17/
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Slade, from Eddie it’s more breaking wind than breaking news. I think we know that everyone will be 100% behind the Boks next weekend as a result.
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Pfft
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Chimpie – pfft as in you’ll support England vs the Boks?
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boks are playing scotland this weekend
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Deebee said next weekend. Oh the confusion.
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Could also be described as next weekend
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Pfft
Chimpie breaking wind. Again. Worse than Season fifteen trillion of Breaking Bad. And next weekend is the one after this weekend, which is the one after last weekend. Or this weekend past. Get with the programme Llama.
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***Declares Chimpie as public enemy number one for the week***
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Chimpie – next weekend comes after this weekend.
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Keep up Craigs, already discussed this.
***Declares Craigs Enemy Number One* for next weekend***
* after Eddie Jones obviously.
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Deebs – just reinforcing the position in case Chimpie disagrees.
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Craigs, Bari Weiss is such a grifter. Anyway, someone else got there first:
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‘***Declares Chimpie as public enemy number one for the week***’
pretty normal week then.
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Curious. The first two didn’t show up so added the 3rd.
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Trump voting strategy?
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That crest is great. Someone photoshopped a Peugeot sign, a Citreon sign, and whats the red and white checkered bit from ? a cross between Porsche and BMW ?
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It’s got a hint of Ferrari about it, too:
Wasn’t Trumpy going to revitalise the American car industry?
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Xavier Rush has still got it, albeit against a drunk in a kebab shop.
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Refit – the drunk guy has the stupid hair too! And how could he know I would see him?
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Try of the week choices, I actually thought that the one Marcus Smith sets up for the replacement hooker was better than the one he gets himself.
An open message to the RFU, please keep Eddie Jones in post as long as possible because anyone who isn’t him is going to start Marcus Smith as the England 10.
I’ve been saying this for a couple of years now, but there will be a time where the debate over who is better, Smith or Carter will stop and people will acknowledge Smith as the best.
The laddie has everything, the passing game, the kicking game, the management, the vision, the footwork, the top end pace and the acceleration. He’s had it since he was 18, it’s only taken 100 games for Quins for Eddie to finally acknowledge it.
Anyway, Conway’s was a great team try, Ashman’s was all about the superb finish, Smith’s was from a great break by Slade, Reece was set up by a good supporting line from Peebles- born Finlay Christie (the poaching All Black gits). So the best try is obviously Ashman’s
Nah, Conway for me, Ireland looked the best side from the weekend, but this Japan is not the Japan of the World Cup.
https://autumnnationsseries.com/2021/11/08/vote-for-your-autumn-nations-series-try-of-the-week-round-two/?fbclid=IwAR0v0DdSnECDDa98m_tRME4fEDqJjHMTRENJO8Bi5Q7xbc1P9-bpC6xyE_k
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I have to admit this made me chuckle the other day,
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I think this must be a England/Celtic fringe distinction – my folks regarded ‘this weekend’ (as in this weekend coming) and ‘next weekend’ as one and the same thing – unless you were literally in the weekend itself.
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@Trisk – I’m more or less with them and in any case the meaning is often apparent through context. If it’s not then ‘not this one, the one after’ and so on are hardly uncommon. Some people are asserting a clarity that isn’t there.
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Though ‘at the weekend’ would generally be used here for the weekend coming anyway. And the one following would be ‘not this weekend, weekend after’. ‘Next weekend’ only really to be used while ‘this weekend’ is in progress. Not hard and fast rules by any means though.
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Cmw – oh there’s clarity. Don’t you worry about that.
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Really want the lelos to play the ballsax now
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“Really want the lelos to play the ballsax now”
You’ll have to wait while next year, maybe longer.
I’m not sure if next year is the one after the one we’re in now or the one after the one coming.
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There’s also this coming weekend
and there’s the weekend after next, which may or not be the weekend after the coming weekend, or it could the the weekend after the weekend after next
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End of next week.
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Week Saturday.
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Saturday week.
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At five and twenty to three.
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I’ll stamp on your feet when you’re least expecting it.
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