The Autumn Internationals or End of Year Tours start in earnest this weekend after two weeks of watching the Kiwis dismantle half-baked sides in the name of ‘growing the global game for a few million pounds, mate’. Gents that they are. After the rancour of the Lions Tour (with more of the players now tearing up the St Gats Bible and tossing it onto the fire of missed opportunity, and the gross miscarriage of justice in holding the Rugby Championship in the backwater towns of a backwater penal colony, we get to some good old fashioned, meaty, North versus South matches: the northerners itching to avenge the defeats of the Lions tours or for those not involved to pick up some scalps as we hurtle towards France 2023 and putting down markers. For the southerners, it’s a chance to meet up with childhood family and friends who’ve strayed from home and been punished for it by having to endure the long bleak winters of their discontent (and weather and losing to the fleet of foot colonials). So to it!
Ireland v Japan
The unsmiling Irish will be looking for another, more convincing win against the Brave Blossoms, to further eradicate the memories of losing in the World Cup to Japan. They got a 39-31 victory in July, but will be looking to turn the screws this time and stamp their authority on the match. Sexton’s century and a very strong looking pack will be too much for the Blossoms, as Ireland take it by 25.
Italy v New Zealand
Not really much point in discussing this one, other than whether or not the Kiwis have put out a second- or third-choice side against the Abject Azzurri. Dane Coles and Sam Cane are the most experienced starters in the side with 75+ caps each, but from there is a long way down to Damian McKenzie and Richie Mo’unga at 38 and 29 respectively and then down to most having not more than a handful of caps. ‘A youthful combination’ is how the Kiwis have framed it, but whatever, they’ll still stick loads on Italy. New Zealand by 56
Spain v Fiji
Absolutely no idea what Spain’s 15s side is like and I can’t be bothered to Google it either. They’ve had a couple of decent wins in the 7zzz in recent years, but won’t be a match for Fiji who should simply be too physical, fast and inventive. Fiji blow hot and cold though, both temperamentally and skills wise, so it may not be the massive blow out expected. Fiji by 19
Portugal v Canada
Last time I looked the Cannucks were bloody awful. They got slapped silly in July by both Wales and England and have a win and a loss against both the USA and Chile in the current 2023 World Cup campaign, so not much to write home about. Portugal currently sit second in the Rugby Europe Championship behind powerhouses Georgia (drop Italy etc!) and look like a decent emerging side at that level. They’ve thumped Spain, Russia and Netherlands and lost to Georgia and Romania. Should be a narrow win for Canada based on experience, but stuff that – Portugal by 2.
England v Tonga
England injecting some new blood into the system, but retaining enough firepower to demolish Tonga after a sluggish start. Don’t expect any surprises in this one, bar perhaps all 15 Tongans staying on the pitch. England to win by how much they want to, and how much they’re keeping in reserve for the bigger matches to come. England by 51.
Wales v South Africa
One of the matches of the round! Wales have had the Boks number in Cardiff in recent years and have their foreign-based players back in the side after missing out against the Kiwis. An under-strength Wales were game for 55 minutes nonetheless and will feel confident that they can go one further and compete with – and beat – the Boks this weekend. The loss of AWJ is massive however, and the Boks arrive in town buoyed by their win over New Zealand and with a very strong pack. Some doubts out wide with Kolbe and Nkosi both missing and le Roux dropped, but the Boks will reverse recent form and win a hard, uncompromising duel in the end. South Africa by 8.
France v Argentina
This would have been a lip-smacker a few years ago, but Argentina have gone off the boil in the last year or so. France have improved, but still manage to confound every now and then. Which France will pitch up etc and which Pumas side will pitch up? No idea on either score, but at home, and with the depth they’ve got, it’s France for the win. Being a conservative Saffer, I’ve gone by 11 points to France, but it could be a lot more if they get going. Or not, if they don’t.
Romania v Uruguay
Romania may not be the side they were under Ceausescu, but they’re handily placed in Tier 2 of European rugby. They narrowly lost a friendly to Argentina in July, for what it’s worth, so do have some ability at the top level. Uruguay had a great 2019 World Cup and have qualified for 2023 as well, belting the USA out of the way in the process. That should see them as favourites for this match, but in a Romanian autumn, anything is possible. Romania by 4.
Scotland v Australia
Scotland warmed up for their bunnies with a sumptuous performance last weekend, missed by some Scots here who were foolishly hiding behind their sofas. They ran in some excellent tries, albeit some of the tackling was optional at times, but you’ve still got to get them in. They face an Australia that recovered from their traditional shellacking by the Ballsacks to beat both the Boks and Argentina twice, albeit all matches played in Australia. Still, the Aussies seem to be growing in confidence and getting a bit of backbone into their side. A tough match, but one I think will go the Wobblies’ way in the end. Australia by 7.
Preview gracias a Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Friday 5th November
| Leicester v Bath | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| La Rochelle v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Saturday 6th November
| Ireland v Japan | 13:00 | Channel 4 / RTÉ2 |
| Italy v New Zealand | 13:00 | Prime |
| Toulouse v Perpignan | 13:45 | Premier Sports 2 |
| England v Tonga | 15:15 | Prime |
| Brive v Racing 92 | 16:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Wales v South Africa | 17:30 | Prime |
| France v Argentina | 20:00 | Prime |
Sunday 7th November
| Scotland v Australia | 14:15 | Prime | ||
| England v New Zealand (women) | 14:45 | BBC2 / iPlayer | ||
| Wasps v Harlequins | 16:30 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Clermont v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
The morn’s mornin, the morn’s nicht
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Sorry, was just turning into my Granma for a moment.
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Judging by last Saturday’s performance, next year is when Wales may be able to score a try again. So it could be 2022 or 2023 or perhaps longer. Should’ve had kebab-boy on the field; he wouldn’t have hesitated running over Tik-tok-twat on his way to the line.
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“The morn’s mornin, the morn’s nicht”
Morning Ticht.
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We’ll have a poem suitable for use in a primary school lesson written soon enough.
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“Should’ve had kebab-boy on the field; he wouldn’t have hesitated running over Tik-tok-twat on his way to the line.”
Deebee has come up with some strong images, but I’m not sure his way of expressing them is appropriate. Don’t seem to be about the time either.
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“Judging by last Saturday’s performance”
Just ‘Saturday’s’ would have done, we know you don’t mean next Saturday.
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Because we’re playing on Sunday (which is the beginning of next week if you want it to be).
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South Africa don’t hang around with their team announcements
15 – Willie le Roux (Toyota Verblitz) – 70 caps, 60 pts (12t)
14 – Jesse Kriel (Canon Eagles) – 49 caps, 60 pts (12t)
13 – Lukhanyo Am (Cell C Sharks) – 24 caps, 25 pts (5t)
12 – Damian de Allende (Munster) – 56 caps, 35 pts (7t)
11 – Makazole Mapimpi (Cell C Sharks) – 23 caps, 85 pts (17t)
10 – Elton Jantjies (NTT Docomo Red Hurricanes) – 42 caps, 312 pts (2t, 64c, 57p, 1d)
9 – Herschel Jantjies (DHL Stormers) – 19 caps, 25 pts (5t)
8 – Duane Vermeulen (Ulster) – 59 caps, 15 pts (3t)
7 – Kwagga Smith (Yamaha Júbilo) – 17 caps, 5 pts (1t)
6 – Siya Kolisi (captain, Cell C Sharks) – 61 caps, 30 pts (6t)
5 – Franco Mostert (Honda Heat) – 49 caps, 5pts (1t)
4 – Eben Etzebeth (Toulon) – 95 caps, 15 pts (3t)
3 – Trevor Nyakane (Vodacom Bulls) – 52 caps, 5pts (1t)
2 – Bongi Mbonambi (Cell C Sharks) – 46 caps, 45 pts (9t)
1 – Ox Nché (Cell C Sharks) – 7 caps, 0pts
Replacements:
16 – Malcolm Marx (Kubota Spears) – 44 caps, 50 pts (10t)
17 – Steven Kitshoff (DHL Stormers) – 57 caps, 5pts (1t)
18 – Vincent Koch (Saracens) – 29 caps, 0 pts
19 – Lood de Jager (Sale Sharks) – 54 caps, 25 pts (5t)
20 – Jasper Wiese (Leicester Tigers) – 9 caps, 0 pts
21 – Cobus Reinach (Montpellier) – 19 caps, 40pts (8t)
22 – Handré Pollard (Montpellier) – 58 caps, 580 pts (6t, 83c, 124p, 4d)
23 – Frans Steyn (Toyota Cheetahs) – 72 caps, 144pts (11t, 7c, 22p, 3d)
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Hmm, not too many surprises in there, I suppose. Willie back at 15 makes sense, and I think Mostert in for de Jager because of his work rate around the park and tackle count. A bit more mobile too. Puzzled that Kriel has been retained at 14, when it wasn’t really a success last weekend (that’s this previous one just past) when you’ve got Nkosi and Fassi to choose from – and neither making the bench.
Elton will get the backs moving a bit more than Pollard, which is good, but he’s got Herschel supplying him, which is bad, especially if the weather is lousy again. Don’t see the point of Pollard on the bench, when Steyn covers 10-12-15. I’d rather have had Fassi on the wing and Kriel on the bench. 16-20 on the pine is some serious beef.
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The morn’s mornin is similar to the Spanish mañana por la mañana.
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@Thaum – Well we’re obviously going to sort of rhyme that with banana, just need to work out the detail.
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From News24 here:
“The match will also be memorable for Steyn, who will edge Victor Matfield as the player with the longest Springbok career by becoming the first South African to play Test rugby over 15 calendar years, should he take to the field.
Matfield’s career spanned over 14 years and 122 days, while Steyn – who has been on the winning side in 55 of his 72 Tests and scored 144 points – is in line to increase that mark to 15 years and two days in the second of three Tests in the Outgoing Tour on Saturday.”
Interestingly, until Frans and Morne Steyn came onto the scene, no other Steyn had been capped by the Boks, despite it being an old and fairly common surname here. Now one is a two-time Lion tamer and the other a two-time World Cup winner.
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I see Deebee’s finally understood that there’s no chance he’ll convince anyone the Boks’ games are ‘memorable’ after they’ve happened so he’s trying to do it beforehand.
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Thaum, there’s a story, it may be apocryphal but I like it, about a researcher into the Scots Gaelic language asking kirk minister on one of the islands, “How does the Gaelic ‘Amarach” compare with the Spanish “Manana”.
The minister thinks for a minutes and says, “Amarach doesn’t convey the same sense of urgency.”
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Marler got da rona. Won’t be available next weekend.
Nope, see? That just sounds wrong.
Won’t be available this weekend.
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CMW, I can think of a few memorable Bok matches this year, and in 2019, when we last played.
Craigs, – can’t we make both?
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Here in France one says “cette nuit” – literally ‘this night’ – but meaning ‘last night’.
No wonder fishing negotiations are fucked, they won’t even be able to agree on a timetable and reporting…………
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Yeah, that was a quirk of my Dad’s – “five and twenty” to/past “hour”
Another strange idiom which you’ll hear over here is “the day that’s in it”
Generally referring implicitly to the weather and a last minute change of plan …. “we were going to go but with the day that’s in it – we decided to stay home” or “I was going to paint the kitchen but with the day that’s in it – we went to the beach”
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@Trisk – And did he by any chance stamp on your feet when you weren’t expecting it?
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@CMW – ah, no…..
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That’s OK, it just means there must have been some other aspect of my Granma’s upbringing that caused that bit.
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Czechs say “půl osmé”, literally “half eight”, when they’re talking about 7.30. You can also say “za deset minut půl osmé” – “in ten minutes half eight” – to mean 7.20.
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@TomP – German is the same for the half-past=half-to thing. I like the other bit.
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@TomP / @CMW – yeah, “halb acht” literally half eight means halfway to eight
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Marina Hyde on fire: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/nov/09/sleaze-storm-boris-johnson-mps-earnings-parliament
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Thauma, that MH article is as brutal as it is accurate. Reading it, you’re not sure whether to laugh at the evisceration of Bojo et al or cry the beloved country.
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Serious question: is the global political elite today the lowest ebb of the last 200 years or so of the emergence of democracy, or am I just an old fart with increasingly higher standards for governance and lower tolerance of idiocy?
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Or both.
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I think it’s the first thing, Deebee.
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Currently in a crowded theatre with no mask watching Tom Minchin in that London. It’s pretty dope.
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*Tim
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And no it’s the interval.
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“Serious question: is the global political elite today the lowest ebb of the last 200 years or so of the emergence of democracy, or am I just an old fart with increasingly higher standards for governance and lower tolerance of idiocy?”
200 years ago we still had slavery, when it was abolished in the UK the equivalent of billions of pounds was paid in compensation… to the slave owners.
More recently, ie in the last century we’ve had murderous extremist fascism and totalitarianism communism, in this century “ethnic cleansing”, genocide and ecocide.
No, I don’t think we are worse off now wrt to the global elite, those who wreaked devastation on “the colonies” for their own enrichment were quite possibly worse, corruption and nepotism have been standard practice for a long time, millennia, it never really went away, but I do think it has become worse in the UK in the last ten years and especially so in the time since Johnson became PM.
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@Ticht – I know it said it was a serious question, but I wasn’t convinced. The kids were painting poppies at school today, I know World War I hasn’t got Chek here to defend it any more, but really…
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The whple thing around poppies is just amazing. Haven’t lived in the UK for a dozen years and it’s got worse and worse since I left.
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Was teaching some Czechs earlier today and we were talking about St Martin’s Day, which is also on November 11th.
Good tradition:
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This was on my way into Barnsley yesterday. And not even the most egregious setup I saw.
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What were the poppies made from, refit? Or can you buy things that size?
There’s a woman in Dorchester who’s made a memorial poppy thing from over 1,000 plastic bottles – https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-dorset-59162018 .
It isn’t just about remembering the fallen, is it?
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Ticht – ever heard of the ‘Corruption Perceptions Index’? Not perfect by any means but the UK does ok. It also shows a slight decrease in the score (more corruption) in the short term but it’s not significant.
We’re apparently better than Belgium, Japan, France and Ireland on this index.
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Good lord.
My next-door neighbour is a poppy fascist. He has erected a flagpole in his postage-stamp front garden, and gets all dressed up in his little uniform to go flag-waving somewhere or other. He’s too young to have participated in WWII and too old for Falklands, etc., so the Korean War is pretty much his only chance of having seen action – except I don’t think he did, or I’m sure he would have mentioned it.
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We still have people here who celebrate Guy Fawkes! It was a big thing here in the 70s and 80s, when there was a large UK-expat community and a huge number of 2nd generation UK migrants in SA who clung desperately to traditions from the ‘home country’. It kind of filtered through into a more general thing, but the only person I know who still celebrates it is a black mate of mine who not only has no UK heritage, but he’s never set foot in the place either!
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Ticht – my question about the calibre of leaders today was more about the buffoonery and complete lack of ability, rather than the horrors inflicted on the world as you (quite correctly) pointed out. Maybe I’m being lazy, but I can’t remember when on a daily basis the political elite in so many countries were able to make such complete idiots of themselves (or worse) and simply brush it aside. Or is this the social and instant media drip that makes it look worse than it is?
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Comment from Finn Russell ahead of the Bok match on Saturday:
“I am just looking forward to testing myself against the best team in the world. That’s why you play sport.”
Knows his stuff, does our Finny. Scotland by 13.
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@Thaum – There were other opportunities in the 50s/60s though not necessarily involving large numbers. Is he young enough to have gone over to your neck of the woods in the early 70s, now there’s a thought…
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When I was a kid there were still plenty of WW1 veterans alive and those that had fought in WW2 were still of working age. And in those days wearing a poppy was a quiet mark of respect for what they did. Now hardly any of them are alive it’s turned into a massive pissing contest to show who respects them the “most”.
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Don’t mind poppies myself. No harm in honouring young men who died because of a few aristocratic buffoons were playing big boy board games. A good reminder not to let it happen again too.
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Deebee, oh, for the days when a real intellectual with a moral centre like President Bartlett was running the joint.
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My aunt had a poppy on a coat of hers for months and months one time because she was too forgetful/lazy to take it off. She told me that when people did as I’d done and pointed out the poppy she would say that she had it on that day in memory of her father who’d served in the British Army (true) and that “today is the anniversary of his death” (not true). That is respect.
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