Turn off the phones, lock the kids in the soundproof basement, prepare your food and drink and turn on the telly, ‘cos it’s time for the European cups again.
Prognostication is not my forté, but I’ll give it a bash for the Big Cup matches.
Northampton v Racing 92
I was surprised to discover that Racing 92 are only in 8th position in the Top 14, whereas the Saints are sitting pretty in third place in the English Premiership. However, Racing know how to bring their best game to an important match, so I’m going for les Parisiens by 7.
Cardiff v Toulouse
Can’t see anything other than a Toulousain trouncing of the hosts by about 15 points.
Leinster v Bath
With Bath languishing at the bottom of the Premiership, this can only go one way. Blue Meanies by 40.
Bordeaux v Leicester
The two top teams in their respective leagues, again to my surprise. I’ll raise a glass of Haut-Médoc to the home side by 3.
Clermont Auvergne v Ulster
Having attended this fixture in a previous competition, ordinarily I’d say a safe win for the home side. However, TomPirracas’ sleuthing informs us that Clermont is a Covid-ravaged camp, so that and downright foolish optimism leads me to predict Ulster by a point.
Exeter v Montpellier
Another tough one to predict, so home advantage to provide a narrow win.
Ospreys v Sale
Ospreys must be exhausted after last week, but Sale are not doing very well this year. Ospreys by 7.
Connacht v Stade Français
Connacht are on good form, and have been unlucky to narrowly lose a couple of their matches so far. I have no similar insights on SF, but they are towards the bottom of the table. Connacht by 4.
La Rochelle v Glasgow
Two fifth-place sides competing. Hmm. Chez nous by 3.
Wasps v Munster
Given Munster’s very depleted squad, Wasps by 15. At least.
Onna telly this week
Friday 10th December
| Northampton v Racing 92 | 20:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Lyon v Gloucester | 20:00 | BT Sport 3 |
Saturday 11th December
| Cardiff v Toulouse | 13:00 | Channel 4 / BT Sport 2 |
| Leinster v Bath | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
| Bordeaux v Leicester | 15:15 | BT Sport 3 |
| Clermont v Ulster | 17:30 | BT Sport 2 |
| USAP v Dragons | 17:30 | S4C |
| Exeter v Montpellier | 20:00 | BT Sport 2 |
Sunday 12th December
| Ospreys v Sale | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 | ||
| Connacht v Stade Français | 13:00 | BT Sport 3 | ||
| La Rochelle v Glasgow | 15:15 | BT Sport 3 | ||
| Wasps v Munster | 15:15 | BT Sport 2 |
Ovally Balls 
Here comes the big match….
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Told you we’d stuff them ticht. Up their holes.
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In Thaum pleasing news, I predict another win on the road. Ulster should get the better over Clermont. Without Parra and Lopez, I doubt their inexperienced squad will prevail. They’ve been rebuilding for several years now, but they’re not there yet.
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I did not know Hanrahan was playing for Clermont. Think I’d prefer him over Burns.
Flair – we shall see! Stade Michelin is a very difficult place to go.
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Ulster with the BP. You heard it here first.
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Feckin blazers have turned up in Clermont. In a neck brace, it looked like.
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Flair – bises!
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Clermont generously giving away lots of penalties.
But I can hear the drums of Moria.
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Barnes speaking his own variety of French to the Ulster players is quite funny.
6-0 for Ulster.
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Sorry to hear that Sam Skinner is leaving for Edinburgh – like him as a versatile player. Only ‘worry’ is that his weight seems to yoyo up and down so may be finding it harder as he gets older?
Jonny Hill as well?? – the 2nd/3rd row starting to look bare!!
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Flair – Barnes, bless. At least he tries.
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Aaaaaaaagh, held up!
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I bloody hate this goal-line drop-out rule.
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Brilliant start from.Ulster. Almost scored a try.
9/0
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Great little FB. Lowrie (?).
Ullster pace is great to watch.
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Lowry, yes. Got absolutely clattered there by someone probably literally twice his size! But playing on.
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McCLOSKEY OVER!!!!
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Now 16/0.
Excellent running and passing from Ulster.
Looks like Toulouse vs Old Watsonians.
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Slightly dodgy try awarded to Clermont, but great skills in it too.
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Refs take ages to award a try for ASM. 16/9.
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Could be- should be- a red there for Asm.
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Baloucoune tip-tackled and looks to be in a lot of pain.
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it’s a yellow.
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Baloucoune is off and we only have two backs on the bench – and one is a scrum-half.
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Only a YC. I’d’ ve gone for a red. It was really dangerous.
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Burns looks like Beaker. A Muppet.
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They’re not showing the yellow on the screen. Did a player go off or not?
Anyway, Clermont get another pen just before HT.
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ASM 10 Ulster 19 at HT.
Good game. Some real talent and pace in Ulster. And ambition!
Cooney not being selected for Ireland ahead of Murray is stranger by the day.
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Thaum, I think Van Tonden (spelling?) was sent off for 10 minutes. He’s lucky. And so is Yato who clattered Lowry, marginally, oh, just marginally late.
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Flair, the back 3 all are very much youngsters.
If Doak comes on at demi d’ouverture, you’ll see faster delivery but less experience.
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Hume at 13 is pretty new too, but he and McCloskey work really well together.
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Uh-oh, I have The Fear now.
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@Thaum – Burns is Lord Percy, from Blackadder II
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Spot on, Refit!
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Oh, that try was a little special.
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Shit shit shit. Bloody Pennaud & other Clermont brilliance.
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Wonder if Ulster are running out of gas. They were so brilliant !
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*whimpers*
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Clermont have sorted out their discipline from the first half.
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20/19 for ASM now. This is so much more entertaining than Bordeaux vs Leicester.
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Entertaining? Heart pounding & can’t braythe!
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Could be a try for Ulster there, or a deliberate knock-on?
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Clermont 15 getting binned for deliberate knock-on in Clermont 22, I think.
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It’s a try!
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Stunning decision.
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I agree with the try, but deliberate? The FB doesn’t even know where he is.
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Barnes got away with the one. Well done, Ulster.
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Flair – I am not unbiased enough to comment.
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Bugger. Went down to the local leisure centre for my booster and flu jab. They use the big hall for the vaccines. Got there to be told that all the ones after 6.00pm have been cancelled (mine was 6.30). Now have to try and find another booking (and the nhs Scotland website isn’t giving me a lot of options. Will try again tomorrow.
The annoying thing is that I got a letter for my booking, but Mrs BB booked hers online and got one last week (in Paisley but still close enough to walk to).
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Lowry has to be MotM.
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