Back to bad old days for the Springboks, being excluded from a tournament when we all know they’d have cakewalked it without raising a sweat. A bit like the World Cup and Lions tour. So easy was it that our Director of Rugby took to making videos to help the refs and carrying water onto the pitch for the boys to have a wee sip whilst the opposition lay scattered to the four corners. Anyway, not much we can do about this latest iniquity, so let’s have a look at the dross on display and see if we can squeeze a modicum of excitement out of the Six Nations: Greatest Show on Earth™.
France to Prance! Two silver medals (and nobody ripping them off their necks, I note) in the last two editions suggests that the combination of Galthié, Edwards and the growing presence of Dupont and Ntamack behind a typically rugged French pack should see them press for the whole thing this time around. France showed in taking a virtually third-string side to Australia in 2021 and then stuffing the All Blacks up their holes that they’re both good enough and have the depth to cope with the inevitable injuries and – dog forbid – Covid disruptions plaguing modern sport. France ease into the tournament with Italy at home, dusting off the cobwebs before playing possibly the defining match of the tournament a week later, at home to Ireland. Win those two and the French are fair set for another second-place finish behind the Boks.
Ireland are Firing! Probably the most consistent side of the last couple of years and with quality in most key positions, the Irish are many pundits’ favourites for the whole thing. Like France, they stuffed the Kiwis in the Autumn Internationals, to throw down a gauntlet to the rugby world this year. Ireland have quality across the park, with the one question being the increasingly age-old questions of whether the half back pair of Connor Murray and Johnny Sexton are up for another season. There’s plenty of depth behind those two, and with some scintillating outside backs emerging from the bogs, allied to one of the toughest, best loose trios out there, Ireland really could rip up a few trees this time out. Home to Wales first up, and a likely win (it’s been almost a decade since one of these sides won away), it’s then off to Paris for a potential Championship decider – should be a cracker. With a convenient breather after those two against Italy, it’s then away to an England who could be in disarray or eyeing a Grand Slam, before a potential last week banana skin against the ever-improving, continually disappointing Scots. Ireland to contest fiercely for that coveted second place behind the Boks.
Brave Scots or Bon Mots? Difficult to tell, really. With Finn Russell as skipper of the good ship Scotland you’re as likely to roar through the Strait of Messina giving two fingers to each of Scylla and Charybdis as you are wrecking yourself on the Thames tide. Scotland’s pack is now steady enough in the set piece (mostly) and has some fine, tearaway loose forwards in the best traditions of Scottish sides of yesteryear, to complement their back division. Get some decent front foot ball and this side can do serious damage. Eight B&I Lions last year, and only Ireland more consistent in the 6N in terms of wins in the last few years should see this Scots side bristling with confidence – and yet, is the self-belief there? They’ll not be lacking in motivation for the visit of England in round one, and a visit to Cardiff to face a potentially battered and bruised Wales could set them up for a glorious tilt at the whole shebang. They host favourites France after the break with the loser of that match surely consigned to the also-rans bin and can empty the tank on that one, with a break before travelling to Italy to come and then the other favourites, Ireland on the last weekend. If Scotland can navigate a way past the Scylla of France and Charybdis of Ireland, glory awaits! But it’s a long tournament and disruptions won’t be papered over easily with a callow pool to pick from. Out of the medals, with France and Ireland scrapping for the minor placings behind the mighty Boks.
Mojo or Bojo? Let’s face it, with Eddie ‘Rasputin was an amateur’ Jones calling the shots, you’re never really sure whether the chariot will swing, low, sweetly or at all. Plans have been disrupted by the loss of captain and talisman Owen Farrell, his replacement Courtney Lawes along with both first-choice wings and Manu ‘part-timer’ Tuilagi for the initial stages at least, means a disrupted backline held together by, er, Ben Youngs. On paper that looks horrible. Actually it looks horrible all round, but England beat both Australia and the Boks (how, nobody knows) in November so will have some cause for optimism. Young Marcus at 10 and Freddie Steward at 15 give England some fabulous attacking options though, behind a pack that whilst disrupted, seldom takes a backward step – and surely won’t do against Scotland first up. That said, it’s been lean pickings against the Scots in recent times, who have some class of their own. Away to Scotland is perilous against this backdrop of disruption, especially with a full Murrayfield and England will do well to host Italy with their personnel and faculties intact. Hosting Wales and Ireland before travelling to France is a bridge too far for this side. Perhaps Bojo the Slippery will come to the rescue by declaring war on France for not declaring war on Russia for not invading Ukraine? Either way, tussling with Scotland and Wales for the rights to look down on Italy.
Wales, beached or bubbling? Reigning Champions after a remarkable 2021 campaign, helped along nicely by the inability of opponents to keep all fifteen on the field for much of it, should see the Welsh with a decent shout this year. But the loss of AWJ, George North, Leigh Halfpenny, Ken Owens, Josh Navidi, Justin Tipuric and Taulupe Faletau is huge in terms of experience and ability. Dan Biggar gets his chance to wave his arms at the ref as actual skipper this year and has some great runners outside of him in LRZ, Josh Adams and Liam Williams and Lions nine Gareth Davies to steady things behind the scrum. The forwards will be well served by Lions loosehead Wyn Jones and tighthead Tomas Francis, but may be light between them, whilst the second row looks ‘orrible without AWJ – but Beard and Co will just about cope. Backs to the wall, the trip to Dublin could be a feisty affair, probably a loss, with Scotland then arriving in Cardiff to further torment Wales. A trip to London before hosting France may well see Wales looking at the Italy clash as their only win.
Italy: Ethiopia thrashed them twice: It may have been 90-odd years ago, but it seems about that long since the debate around their participation in the 6 Nations started. Lots of hype around how their junior sides are doing, how Benetton deservedly won whatever trophy it was during lockdown, how they’re producing a few decent players and are on an upward trajectory, but let’s face it, there’s more likelihood of the wolf actually suckling Romulus and Remus than this lot winning a match this season. And unlike the Colosseum, there’s little glorious or inspiring about the wreck that is Italian rugby. It’s a good thing you stir boiling water with a wooden spoon, because at least this squad will have plenty to choose from to make a plate of pasta. They’ll be competitive for bits and bobs in some matches, but really, Georgia would be a better bet, as we all know.
Springboks to Cruise it! Obviously leaving the best for last, so you can all savour that stunning last morsel, sated at the end by the power, subtlety, grace and deftness of the cornucopia of delights put on offer by the Boks, and washed down with crystal pure water served by the humble Waterboy himself. Can’t go into too much detail though because curiously the squad and fixtures don’t seem to be up anywhere. Doesn’t matter: five away matches, five wins, five bonus points and rightfully scratching New Zealand and Australia off Bill in 87 and 91 as an added bonus. Easy peasy. Siya Kolisi named player of the tournament, player of the year, new United Nations Secretary General and Commander of Space for Humanity.
You’ll be astounded to learn that this was the work of Deebee7.
Further Reading
Don’t miss BK’s fabulous graph of xenophobes v poachers.
Anyone who fancies a good old discussion about who should wear the 12 shirt for England can go here.
Onna telly this week
Friday 4th February
| Gloucester v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| France U20 v Italy U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ireland U20 v Wales U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer / S4C / RTÉ2 |
| Scotland U20 v England U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ulster v Connacht | 20:15 | BBC2 NI / TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 5th February
| Bulls v Lions | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Ireland v Wales | 14:15 | S4C / ITV / RTÉ2 |
| Stormers v Sharks | 15:05 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Scotland v England | 16:45 | BBC1 |
| Toulon v Castres | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 6th February
| Harlequins v Sale | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| France v Italy | 15:00 | ITV / RTÉ2 | ||
| Biarritz v La Rochelle | 17:30 | Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Clermont v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Oh dear. Collapse
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Trimble: Marcell Coetzee said, ‘I’m going home’, and Nick Timoney said, ‘Hold my beer, I’m coming on.’
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Too good.
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No idea who the England juniors coach is, but he’s put together a great side.
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AT least we get the try bonus point out of it. Ireland hit 50 and France get 40 against Italy, which might disappoint certain Guardian commenters.
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I get more and more impressed by Baloucoune. At first, he was always very pacey and a great finisher, but poor in defence. His defence is now excellent – he’s just saved a try.
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Connacht awarded a yellow at 82 mins!
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And Baloucoune scores the BP try in the 83rd minute after a cross-field kick by Burns! Hooray!
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“No idea who the England juniors coach is, but he’s put together a great side.”
They certainly look a lot better coached than Scotland, our defence was shambolic all evening.
On the pluss side for us we didn’t get battered up front, which we usually do at this level.
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(Sorry, Claw, if you’re reading.)
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Woohoo! Ulster now top of the table. :-)
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cries, “why did we squander points at Benetton and Ospreys, why?”
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It’s hotting up Thaum, it will all come out in the wash in the next few rounds, Edinburgh have a very tough run of fixtures against the Irish sides, who we haven’t faced as yet
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Leinster away and then Munster away the following week for your boys, ticht.
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Ulster threw away a lead against 14-man Munster and lost to Ospreys in Swansea as well.
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Well looked up indeed
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Which bit?
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Better team until the red card, then seemed to “stop” playing – as if the extra man guaranteed a win…
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Dropped in and out of Ulster vs Connacht ( caught Baloucoune flying down the wing – hope we’re not sorry tomorrow)
Mainly watched U20s at Musgrave…. yawning gap between the teams. Bottom line, Ireland’s back row made yards/metres on every carry… (or so it seemed). Like U16s playing U14s …. completely over powered by a quicker, stronger, better organised team.
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I was flipping between the two in the first half and then stuck to TG4. Ireland had had some warm-ups. I can only hope we hadn’t. Culhane, the player of the match, was a menace.
Absolutely no influence on the result of the game but the reffing was strange. Got in the way a couple of times and disallowed what’d’ve been the 3rd Irish try for a nothing obstruction. Do refs have to say an onfield decision for try – yes or no? Cos she just asked if it was a try.
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Ireland look scary on paper.
But in reality they look terrifying:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FKwH4TsWQAAJBVi?format=jpg
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I saw Rob Kearney the other week. He’d never get near this squad, the handsome bastard.
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Trisk, did I read that you have some tickets for Fr vs Ireland that you may not be able to use? Stade de France can be dreadful in February, windy and cold, lacking in atmosphere as there is a damn running track between you and the pitch, so after several attempts I’ve decided I’d rather stay home and watch the 6N from my sofa. But if you show up, I’d be happy to meet you there and share one or two drinks.
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Flair, I was surprised with how much I preferred watching games from my sofa as opposed to being there whne I finally went to a game a few years ago. I went to every home game in Edinburgh for about 15 years and then nothing for a long time.
In fact the modern stadiums (stadia?) are so much better, but I used to love the hustle and bustle of stand on the terrace at Murrayfield, one seemed to be closer to the game.
The modern coliseums of sport offer fantastic views and I’m not saying I’ll never go to a 6N match again, but the prices hurt now
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Prices certainly hurt but I also found out that in those huge stadia, unless I could get the perfect seat (right in the middle and about 20 rows up above the ground) I missed a lot of the action. And of course those seats are way beyond my means.
I remember watching a 6 N game in SdF way up in the rafters and having to watch it later on TV to understand what had been going on.
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The only two (relatively) modern grounds I’ve been to are Twickenham and Murrayfield and in both I was up in the ceiling but had a great view of what was going on
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But… but .. but in the stadium, you choose what you want to see, whether it is the way the attacking team shapes up or how the # 8 quickly (or not so quickly when it’s Picamoles) retreats along the touch line after a turn over. These things are rarely shown on TV.
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Watching rugby in SdF from way up is like god watching a chess game. You see stuff smart players “ought” to see but obviously can’t.
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That’s true Flair, and I know people got fed up with Jiffy shouting “numbers”, but it is a lot easier to see from up in “the gods”, to use the theatrical term than it is to see it at ground level when you are playing
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At least you’re not trying to get a ticket for the Superbowl
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“I know people got fed up with Jiffy shouting “numbers”, but it is a lot easier to see from up in “the gods”, to use the theatrical term than it is to see it at ground level when you are playing”
True enough. Though to be fair to Jiffy he was also pretty good at spotting these things when he was playing. And he was closer to ground level than most players, especially now.
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The being able to see what could(/should) happen before it does thing has to be a big part of why rugby crowds come across so well on the TV. I enjoy the detail of the match far more on the TV, but it is nice to be part of that once in a while and they’re always great occasions. Haven’t been for ages now, would love to go again some time, maybe Murrayfield next year.
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@TomP
Yeah, that disallowed try was strange – looked to me like the hooker was trying to get out of the way of Culhane rather than block a defender – what’s he supposed to do ….stand in the way?
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@Flair
Thanks for the kind invitation…another time, I hope!
I think I’ll be able to offload 2 of them to the husband of a Paris-based work colleague.
I’ve ended up chairing a committee at Munster level, and that put me on 2 other committees and as a benefit I get 2 season tickets to Thomond and have the chance to purchase (at regular value) international tickets, plus some away tickets.
Covid restrictions (I assume) meant there was no clarity on what tickets would be available until early last week, I was fairly surprised when these tickets became available. But my plans to visit Paris never got off the ground…. far too late to book flights/hotels.
So, I’ll be watching France vs Ireland – like you – from the comfort of the sofa.
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Trisk, thanks for offering the tickets in the first place. Let me know if you have trouble offloading them, I should be able to find takers here, specially as the game is billed as a must see.
Some covid restrictions have been lifted, such as the number of people allowed in the stadia but the epidemy is still rampant (Galthié declared positive yesterday) and there may be more disruptions to come.
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Something to brighten up your morning
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Happy 6 Nations Day everyone! I fear that both of the teams I will be cheering for today will struggle, but not expecting to win gives a sense of lightness. Maybe the players will feel the same and shine.
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*nibbles fingernails*
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Hello 👋
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Morning Dab, England and Wales it is then. Here we go.
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Fancy Wales here.
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Hello all!
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C’est parti!
Woohoo!
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Did the commentator just say that Ireland’s front row is arguably the best in the world??
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Baloucoune woulda been in with that!
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Dab – yeah, I wouldn’t pay any attention to that.
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AKIIIIII!!!!
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Didn’t take long…
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Afternoon all. I trust you’re all well?
Just popping in to say best wishes to you all and your teams… I hope the 6N lives up to the expectations.
And a good start by Ireland already, I see…
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Hallo Brookter – good to see you!
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