Back to bad old days for the Springboks, being excluded from a tournament when we all know they’d have cakewalked it without raising a sweat. A bit like the World Cup and Lions tour. So easy was it that our Director of Rugby took to making videos to help the refs and carrying water onto the pitch for the boys to have a wee sip whilst the opposition lay scattered to the four corners. Anyway, not much we can do about this latest iniquity, so let’s have a look at the dross on display and see if we can squeeze a modicum of excitement out of the Six Nations: Greatest Show on Earth™.
France to Prance! Two silver medals (and nobody ripping them off their necks, I note) in the last two editions suggests that the combination of Galthié, Edwards and the growing presence of Dupont and Ntamack behind a typically rugged French pack should see them press for the whole thing this time around. France showed in taking a virtually third-string side to Australia in 2021 and then stuffing the All Blacks up their holes that they’re both good enough and have the depth to cope with the inevitable injuries and – dog forbid – Covid disruptions plaguing modern sport. France ease into the tournament with Italy at home, dusting off the cobwebs before playing possibly the defining match of the tournament a week later, at home to Ireland. Win those two and the French are fair set for another second-place finish behind the Boks.
Ireland are Firing! Probably the most consistent side of the last couple of years and with quality in most key positions, the Irish are many pundits’ favourites for the whole thing. Like France, they stuffed the Kiwis in the Autumn Internationals, to throw down a gauntlet to the rugby world this year. Ireland have quality across the park, with the one question being the increasingly age-old questions of whether the half back pair of Connor Murray and Johnny Sexton are up for another season. There’s plenty of depth behind those two, and with some scintillating outside backs emerging from the bogs, allied to one of the toughest, best loose trios out there, Ireland really could rip up a few trees this time out. Home to Wales first up, and a likely win (it’s been almost a decade since one of these sides won away), it’s then off to Paris for a potential Championship decider – should be a cracker. With a convenient breather after those two against Italy, it’s then away to an England who could be in disarray or eyeing a Grand Slam, before a potential last week banana skin against the ever-improving, continually disappointing Scots. Ireland to contest fiercely for that coveted second place behind the Boks.
Brave Scots or Bon Mots? Difficult to tell, really. With Finn Russell as skipper of the good ship Scotland you’re as likely to roar through the Strait of Messina giving two fingers to each of Scylla and Charybdis as you are wrecking yourself on the Thames tide. Scotland’s pack is now steady enough in the set piece (mostly) and has some fine, tearaway loose forwards in the best traditions of Scottish sides of yesteryear, to complement their back division. Get some decent front foot ball and this side can do serious damage. Eight B&I Lions last year, and only Ireland more consistent in the 6N in terms of wins in the last few years should see this Scots side bristling with confidence – and yet, is the self-belief there? They’ll not be lacking in motivation for the visit of England in round one, and a visit to Cardiff to face a potentially battered and bruised Wales could set them up for a glorious tilt at the whole shebang. They host favourites France after the break with the loser of that match surely consigned to the also-rans bin and can empty the tank on that one, with a break before travelling to Italy to come and then the other favourites, Ireland on the last weekend. If Scotland can navigate a way past the Scylla of France and Charybdis of Ireland, glory awaits! But it’s a long tournament and disruptions won’t be papered over easily with a callow pool to pick from. Out of the medals, with France and Ireland scrapping for the minor placings behind the mighty Boks.
Mojo or Bojo? Let’s face it, with Eddie ‘Rasputin was an amateur’ Jones calling the shots, you’re never really sure whether the chariot will swing, low, sweetly or at all. Plans have been disrupted by the loss of captain and talisman Owen Farrell, his replacement Courtney Lawes along with both first-choice wings and Manu ‘part-timer’ Tuilagi for the initial stages at least, means a disrupted backline held together by, er, Ben Youngs. On paper that looks horrible. Actually it looks horrible all round, but England beat both Australia and the Boks (how, nobody knows) in November so will have some cause for optimism. Young Marcus at 10 and Freddie Steward at 15 give England some fabulous attacking options though, behind a pack that whilst disrupted, seldom takes a backward step – and surely won’t do against Scotland first up. That said, it’s been lean pickings against the Scots in recent times, who have some class of their own. Away to Scotland is perilous against this backdrop of disruption, especially with a full Murrayfield and England will do well to host Italy with their personnel and faculties intact. Hosting Wales and Ireland before travelling to France is a bridge too far for this side. Perhaps Bojo the Slippery will come to the rescue by declaring war on France for not declaring war on Russia for not invading Ukraine? Either way, tussling with Scotland and Wales for the rights to look down on Italy.
Wales, beached or bubbling? Reigning Champions after a remarkable 2021 campaign, helped along nicely by the inability of opponents to keep all fifteen on the field for much of it, should see the Welsh with a decent shout this year. But the loss of AWJ, George North, Leigh Halfpenny, Ken Owens, Josh Navidi, Justin Tipuric and Taulupe Faletau is huge in terms of experience and ability. Dan Biggar gets his chance to wave his arms at the ref as actual skipper this year and has some great runners outside of him in LRZ, Josh Adams and Liam Williams and Lions nine Gareth Davies to steady things behind the scrum. The forwards will be well served by Lions loosehead Wyn Jones and tighthead Tomas Francis, but may be light between them, whilst the second row looks ‘orrible without AWJ – but Beard and Co will just about cope. Backs to the wall, the trip to Dublin could be a feisty affair, probably a loss, with Scotland then arriving in Cardiff to further torment Wales. A trip to London before hosting France may well see Wales looking at the Italy clash as their only win.
Italy: Ethiopia thrashed them twice: It may have been 90-odd years ago, but it seems about that long since the debate around their participation in the 6 Nations started. Lots of hype around how their junior sides are doing, how Benetton deservedly won whatever trophy it was during lockdown, how they’re producing a few decent players and are on an upward trajectory, but let’s face it, there’s more likelihood of the wolf actually suckling Romulus and Remus than this lot winning a match this season. And unlike the Colosseum, there’s little glorious or inspiring about the wreck that is Italian rugby. It’s a good thing you stir boiling water with a wooden spoon, because at least this squad will have plenty to choose from to make a plate of pasta. They’ll be competitive for bits and bobs in some matches, but really, Georgia would be a better bet, as we all know.
Springboks to Cruise it! Obviously leaving the best for last, so you can all savour that stunning last morsel, sated at the end by the power, subtlety, grace and deftness of the cornucopia of delights put on offer by the Boks, and washed down with crystal pure water served by the humble Waterboy himself. Can’t go into too much detail though because curiously the squad and fixtures don’t seem to be up anywhere. Doesn’t matter: five away matches, five wins, five bonus points and rightfully scratching New Zealand and Australia off Bill in 87 and 91 as an added bonus. Easy peasy. Siya Kolisi named player of the tournament, player of the year, new United Nations Secretary General and Commander of Space for Humanity.
You’ll be astounded to learn that this was the work of Deebee7.
Further Reading
Don’t miss BK’s fabulous graph of xenophobes v poachers.
Anyone who fancies a good old discussion about who should wear the 12 shirt for England can go here.
Onna telly this week
Friday 4th February
| Gloucester v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| France U20 v Italy U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ireland U20 v Wales U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer / S4C / RTÉ2 |
| Scotland U20 v England U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ulster v Connacht | 20:15 | BBC2 NI / TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 5th February
| Bulls v Lions | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Ireland v Wales | 14:15 | S4C / ITV / RTÉ2 |
| Stormers v Sharks | 15:05 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Scotland v England | 16:45 | BBC1 |
| Toulon v Castres | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 6th February
| Harlequins v Sale | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| France v Italy | 15:00 | ITV / RTÉ2 | ||
| Biarritz v La Rochelle | 17:30 | Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Clermont v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Hi, Thaum – nice try to start your 6N off!
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Yes, indeed – but a long way to go yet!
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Greenwash…
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Ireland looking very fluid.
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wotcha, DCI……………………….
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Afternoon Guvnor, good to “see” you Brookter
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That Sexton’s a bit rubbish with the boot
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Ireland are running the ball beautifully.
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hello.Dova, too……………..
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Dab, Dova, DCI…
Sag will be along in a minute to say, “morgen”
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Ireland are looking very good, Wales aren’t able to get a shot off yet
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Ireland look pretty formidable here.
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Wales need a score for some decent play here otherwise it could be curtains
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Conan the Poacharian!
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…respect to the Welsh……………..
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Beautiful rugby by Ireland . Sexton pays like a bolter.
Wales arent bad but they only feed off Irish mistakes .
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I can’t say I’m a fan of Gibson Park, I think Cooney is a much better option
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10 points seems a poor return for such 1st half superiority
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Wales hanging in there well, all that defending going to tire them tho, and bench maybe not as strong. Ireland are scarily efficient at the breakdown, and surprisingly slick outside. Got a feeling Wales need a bit of Moriarty biff.
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Hi, Ticht, Slade…
Good luck this afternoon!
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Oops, Sexton plays, not pays!
Agree with Slade ( and Ticht about Cooney) but Ireland are in total control and the second half might be long for Wales.
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Salut Brookter!
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Afternoon, DCI. I trust you and yours are all well?
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Salut, Flair, mon vieux ami!
Tu es où sur l’échelle ESPOIR-PEUR, ce tournoi?
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Afternoon, BB… Very well, thanks. And yours, too, I trust.
Are you suitably psyched for this afternoon’s demolition of the Auld Enemy?
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Brookter, I think Ireland will win the 6N, with France not far behind.
No fear whatsoever, just expecting thrills and emotions!
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How about you Brookter? Happy with the presence of much needed new blood with England?
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Well, I missed the rain when going to get a haircut this morning. And it’s a good haircut.
Just about hanging in but it’s real struggle for us with a dodgy line-out. Ireand looking very powerful in attack and getting on top of us at the breakdown.
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Fun fact: not a single penalty against Ireland in the first half.
Shows their domination.
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Fun fact: not a single penalty against Ireland during the first half. Shows their domination.
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Tremendous finish
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Yep, thats a try.
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Freakiest conversion ever!
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Flair,
I think France have a good chance, and I’ve really enjoyed watching them over the last year. Should be close between Ireland and France, but so much can happen…
I am pleased to see some of the changes in the England team: Smith’s time has obviously come to be given the full responsibility, but some of the other changes wouldn’t be happening without the injuries (a problem for all teams, and England are better able to deal with it than most).
It will be interesting to see how they get on – a Scotland win is probably the most likely option, but hope springs eternal…
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“Freakiest conversion ever!”
What happened next on QofS
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Oof – that had better be a card.
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That seemed somewhat cynical by Adams.
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What the hell was that?
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Dumb by Adams
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Silly
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BP soon in Ireland’s pocket. Beautiful handling.
Incidentally sooo stupid from Adams.
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That was glorious by Ringrose.
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Ok. I think we might win this now.
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Ringrose has been very good today
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Ireland been very efficient
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Fuck’s sake!
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Lovely pass to basham
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Too much messing about in their own 22 by Ireland there
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Impressive win by Ireland. Expro would’ve applauded. Fast, furious, precise.
Wales dominated in every compartment, bar commitment. Most worrying is their inability to threaten the line.
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Well done, Ireland. A bit flat for the neutral, because they were so dominant – looking good…
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