Back to bad old days for the Springboks, being excluded from a tournament when we all know they’d have cakewalked it without raising a sweat. A bit like the World Cup and Lions tour. So easy was it that our Director of Rugby took to making videos to help the refs and carrying water onto the pitch for the boys to have a wee sip whilst the opposition lay scattered to the four corners. Anyway, not much we can do about this latest iniquity, so let’s have a look at the dross on display and see if we can squeeze a modicum of excitement out of the Six Nations: Greatest Show on Earth™.
France to Prance! Two silver medals (and nobody ripping them off their necks, I note) in the last two editions suggests that the combination of Galthié, Edwards and the growing presence of Dupont and Ntamack behind a typically rugged French pack should see them press for the whole thing this time around. France showed in taking a virtually third-string side to Australia in 2021 and then stuffing the All Blacks up their holes that they’re both good enough and have the depth to cope with the inevitable injuries and – dog forbid – Covid disruptions plaguing modern sport. France ease into the tournament with Italy at home, dusting off the cobwebs before playing possibly the defining match of the tournament a week later, at home to Ireland. Win those two and the French are fair set for another second-place finish behind the Boks.
Ireland are Firing! Probably the most consistent side of the last couple of years and with quality in most key positions, the Irish are many pundits’ favourites for the whole thing. Like France, they stuffed the Kiwis in the Autumn Internationals, to throw down a gauntlet to the rugby world this year. Ireland have quality across the park, with the one question being the increasingly age-old questions of whether the half back pair of Connor Murray and Johnny Sexton are up for another season. There’s plenty of depth behind those two, and with some scintillating outside backs emerging from the bogs, allied to one of the toughest, best loose trios out there, Ireland really could rip up a few trees this time out. Home to Wales first up, and a likely win (it’s been almost a decade since one of these sides won away), it’s then off to Paris for a potential Championship decider – should be a cracker. With a convenient breather after those two against Italy, it’s then away to an England who could be in disarray or eyeing a Grand Slam, before a potential last week banana skin against the ever-improving, continually disappointing Scots. Ireland to contest fiercely for that coveted second place behind the Boks.
Brave Scots or Bon Mots? Difficult to tell, really. With Finn Russell as skipper of the good ship Scotland you’re as likely to roar through the Strait of Messina giving two fingers to each of Scylla and Charybdis as you are wrecking yourself on the Thames tide. Scotland’s pack is now steady enough in the set piece (mostly) and has some fine, tearaway loose forwards in the best traditions of Scottish sides of yesteryear, to complement their back division. Get some decent front foot ball and this side can do serious damage. Eight B&I Lions last year, and only Ireland more consistent in the 6N in terms of wins in the last few years should see this Scots side bristling with confidence – and yet, is the self-belief there? They’ll not be lacking in motivation for the visit of England in round one, and a visit to Cardiff to face a potentially battered and bruised Wales could set them up for a glorious tilt at the whole shebang. They host favourites France after the break with the loser of that match surely consigned to the also-rans bin and can empty the tank on that one, with a break before travelling to Italy to come and then the other favourites, Ireland on the last weekend. If Scotland can navigate a way past the Scylla of France and Charybdis of Ireland, glory awaits! But it’s a long tournament and disruptions won’t be papered over easily with a callow pool to pick from. Out of the medals, with France and Ireland scrapping for the minor placings behind the mighty Boks.
Mojo or Bojo? Let’s face it, with Eddie ‘Rasputin was an amateur’ Jones calling the shots, you’re never really sure whether the chariot will swing, low, sweetly or at all. Plans have been disrupted by the loss of captain and talisman Owen Farrell, his replacement Courtney Lawes along with both first-choice wings and Manu ‘part-timer’ Tuilagi for the initial stages at least, means a disrupted backline held together by, er, Ben Youngs. On paper that looks horrible. Actually it looks horrible all round, but England beat both Australia and the Boks (how, nobody knows) in November so will have some cause for optimism. Young Marcus at 10 and Freddie Steward at 15 give England some fabulous attacking options though, behind a pack that whilst disrupted, seldom takes a backward step – and surely won’t do against Scotland first up. That said, it’s been lean pickings against the Scots in recent times, who have some class of their own. Away to Scotland is perilous against this backdrop of disruption, especially with a full Murrayfield and England will do well to host Italy with their personnel and faculties intact. Hosting Wales and Ireland before travelling to France is a bridge too far for this side. Perhaps Bojo the Slippery will come to the rescue by declaring war on France for not declaring war on Russia for not invading Ukraine? Either way, tussling with Scotland and Wales for the rights to look down on Italy.
Wales, beached or bubbling? Reigning Champions after a remarkable 2021 campaign, helped along nicely by the inability of opponents to keep all fifteen on the field for much of it, should see the Welsh with a decent shout this year. But the loss of AWJ, George North, Leigh Halfpenny, Ken Owens, Josh Navidi, Justin Tipuric and Taulupe Faletau is huge in terms of experience and ability. Dan Biggar gets his chance to wave his arms at the ref as actual skipper this year and has some great runners outside of him in LRZ, Josh Adams and Liam Williams and Lions nine Gareth Davies to steady things behind the scrum. The forwards will be well served by Lions loosehead Wyn Jones and tighthead Tomas Francis, but may be light between them, whilst the second row looks ‘orrible without AWJ – but Beard and Co will just about cope. Backs to the wall, the trip to Dublin could be a feisty affair, probably a loss, with Scotland then arriving in Cardiff to further torment Wales. A trip to London before hosting France may well see Wales looking at the Italy clash as their only win.
Italy: Ethiopia thrashed them twice: It may have been 90-odd years ago, but it seems about that long since the debate around their participation in the 6 Nations started. Lots of hype around how their junior sides are doing, how Benetton deservedly won whatever trophy it was during lockdown, how they’re producing a few decent players and are on an upward trajectory, but let’s face it, there’s more likelihood of the wolf actually suckling Romulus and Remus than this lot winning a match this season. And unlike the Colosseum, there’s little glorious or inspiring about the wreck that is Italian rugby. It’s a good thing you stir boiling water with a wooden spoon, because at least this squad will have plenty to choose from to make a plate of pasta. They’ll be competitive for bits and bobs in some matches, but really, Georgia would be a better bet, as we all know.
Springboks to Cruise it! Obviously leaving the best for last, so you can all savour that stunning last morsel, sated at the end by the power, subtlety, grace and deftness of the cornucopia of delights put on offer by the Boks, and washed down with crystal pure water served by the humble Waterboy himself. Can’t go into too much detail though because curiously the squad and fixtures don’t seem to be up anywhere. Doesn’t matter: five away matches, five wins, five bonus points and rightfully scratching New Zealand and Australia off Bill in 87 and 91 as an added bonus. Easy peasy. Siya Kolisi named player of the tournament, player of the year, new United Nations Secretary General and Commander of Space for Humanity.
You’ll be astounded to learn that this was the work of Deebee7.
Further Reading
Don’t miss BK’s fabulous graph of xenophobes v poachers.
Anyone who fancies a good old discussion about who should wear the 12 shirt for England can go here.
Onna telly this week
Friday 4th February
| Gloucester v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| France U20 v Italy U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ireland U20 v Wales U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer / S4C / RTÉ2 |
| Scotland U20 v England U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ulster v Connacht | 20:15 | BBC2 NI / TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 5th February
| Bulls v Lions | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Ireland v Wales | 14:15 | S4C / ITV / RTÉ2 |
| Stormers v Sharks | 15:05 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Scotland v England | 16:45 | BBC1 |
| Toulon v Castres | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 6th February
| Harlequins v Sale | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| France v Italy | 15:00 | ITV / RTÉ2 | ||
| Biarritz v La Rochelle | 17:30 | Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Clermont v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Not sure about the girls but numbers aren’t so difficult in the Big City. Lot of competition around, though.
Here the first big drop off is when the lads go to senior school and lots stop playing club rugby in favour of schools, which is a big thing here.
Yesterday we had training and the coach introduced the idea of the loop. I say introduced but they all knew what it was. It was as if they’d seen someone do it endless times. The first efforts were very funny.
Later in the training they were looking at defensive and attacking formations. Each time they did defensive alignment, the coach asked one of the lads to shout when the ball was clear so the defensive line could move up. A few times no one said a word and I thought back to what you said a few weeks ago, trisk.
Next weekend a local derby v Lansdowne on the back pitch at the Aviva. A bit shorter walk for us. I really hope they have the bar open so I can get a hot chocolate post match.
LikeLike
@TomP
You get the drop off in boys in Cork city area at same time but not as pronounced and I think any lad NOT in first 24 isn’t tied to his school and can play for club if he wishes.
Doesn’t happen down here at all – schools play rugby…. but we’ve no “Rugby schools” if you get the distinction.
LikeLike
I retract all that hippy bullshit I spouted on Saturday.
Absolutely raging.
LikeLike
That’s the spirit
LikeLike
*Goes off to read retractable hippie bullshit*
LikeLike
Main takeaway is that Craigs isn’t ‘large’ any more.
LikeLike
Which I guess is a relief for everyone.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is cool
What was Hubble looking at on your birthday?
https://www.nasa.gov/content/goddard/what-did-hubble-see-on-your-birthday
LikeLike
The rest of it seems to have been very poorly considered. It’s OK to not mind losing to a team when your team has been beating them for ages. Once you’ve got to the point where you’ve only won one out of the last five against them it’s time to start not liking it again!
LikeLike
“What did Hubble see on your birthday?”
Maud desperately wished that Miss Hardbroom hadn’t asked her this question…
LikeLike
The Hubble was looking at me on my birthday.
LikeLike
Hubble (named for the Worst Witch) is also the name of a disturbingly life-like soft toy rabbit that sits squashed in among the many teddies on the Eldest’s bed. I would tentatively venture the answer “Big Bear’s bum”.
LikeLike
Cmw – I am large. Reading that back sober I think we can maybe put ‘Karl’ to bed. I was talking about my belly obvs.
LikeLike
Karl.
LikeLike
Sounds like Craigs has gone all multitudinous again all of a sudden.
LikeLike
It’s a sign that all is not lost in the world when ‘Jackass Forever’ is doing to well. 86% on Rotten Tomatoes.
LikeLike
‘Sounds like Craigs has gone all multitudinous again all of a sudden.’
He is large. He is legion.
LikeLike
Looks like Ritchie out for a while. Big loss.
Bayliss still out. Cherry called up which is interesting as he’s a hooker.
So Bradbury, Haining, Darge or Christie.
Would like to see Darge given a go at this level but don’t think we’ll go with 2 7s to start. Most obvious choice would probably be Bradbury to start at 6 but it’s toonie so goodness knows. Still no idea about Christie, Haining has never let us down.
Fagerson has 8 sewn up now.
LikeLike
Chimpie – could do a comedy duo with myself. Legion and Large.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jackass. Bunch of grown men doing stoopid, painful stuff. I love it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘It’s OK to not mind losing to a team when your team has been beating them for ages. Once you’ve got to the point where you’ve only won one out of the last five against them it’s time to start not liking it again!’
Feels odd to have a 6N team that’s not Italy be our bunnies. I still feel like we should be permanent underdogs and any victory an against the odds triumph. Must be a result of having watched Scotland through the noughties and early teens. I’m convinced it’ll all go to pot any second. Most likely on Saturday at the Mil.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Being careful here as you never know what might happen but Italy’re everyone’s bunnies.
England definitely your bunnies at the moment. Aussies as well perhaps.
LikeLike
Trisk, just saw your post at 9.28. Was golfing all day.
Let me know how many tickets you have, where they are in the stadium and how much you want for them.
I’ll let you know ASAP if I have takers.
LikeLike
Thaum, feel free to forward my email to Trisk, we’ll carry on the conversation without bothering others.
LikeLike
Ticht – thanks for that Hubble site. It was looking at the Trifid Nebula on my birthday, apparently.
LikeLike
Will do, Flair!
LikeLike
Jackass. Bunch of grown men doing stoopid, painful stuff.
My dating history until I met Mrs Deebee.*
* No, she’s not typing this or looking over my shoulder.
LikeLike
Scotland should have their dander up and throw the kitchen sink at Wales this weekend. The Millennium is an intimidating place to go, but win there and Scotland have destiny largely in their own hands. Two weeks to recover before France arrive in town, then a breather against a by now ragged and depleted Italy, with just Ireland away on the final day.
LikeLike
Made the mistake of letting youngest at the dough. We now have meat and two veg shaped rolls.
LikeLike
Chimpie – get one to do female genitalia to even things up.
LikeLike
“Bunch of grown men doing stupid things, painful stuff. My dating history until etc…”
Not my history until I met Lady Flair.
But almost…
Except I never was a grown man.
Still ain’t. Just retired and still feel like a 12 yo.
LikeLiked by 5 people
So, what do we take from the afterglow of the first weekend? Chimpie is branching out from cheese on toast, Thauma has set a fairly challenging culinary task for Chimpie, Flair makes Barry White look like Barry Manilow, and Craigs’ booze fuelled rugby version of Bridget Jones ‘All by Myself’ scene has him raging in the cold light of day. A very successful opening weekend, all in all!
LikeLike
Never mind the Six Nations, here come the Springboks:
Saturday, 2 July: Springboks v Wales – Loftus Versfeld, Pretoria
Saturday, 9 July: Springboks v Wales – Free State Stadium, Bloemfontein
Saturday, 16 July: Springboks v Wales – Cape Town Stadium, Cape Town
So the Boks get three shots at beating the current Six Nations champions in July. I really hope that we’re back to crowds at stadia by then. I’d love to get to a live match!
LikeLike
World Champions v Six Nations Champions, pfft
Scotland are reportedly playing Chile in the summer and then on to the three match Argentina series.
LikeLike
More Matt Williams nonsense. This time joined by Alan Quinlan and Sene Naoupu. This one’s probably even worse than the first one because they are actually reading the law:
LikeLike
@TomP
Ludicrous – no understanding of the law ….Quinlan going on about LCD tackling Graham…. as soon as LCD commits the deliberate knock on he effectively disappears – does Graham catch an uncontested kick… pretty sure he does.
LikeLike
Is Williams still coaching these days?
He was terrible when he was at Scotland. Not surprising as he doesn’t appear to understand the laws of the game.
LikeLike
LCD claimed he didn’t know the law either.
Chimpie, a comfortable gig in the Irish media.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bamber Gascoigne RIP
LikeLiked by 1 person
Didn’t attempt the ladyparts rolls in the end. The knobrolls expanded and looked a bit deformed in the end, but kept small people amused.
LikeLiked by 3 people
These people are lacking experience of playing a game they wanted to be good at but weren’t really cut out for and therefore not necessarily wanting the ball when about to be smashed by bigger, nastier and indeed hairier people. If they had this important experience then they would at least know the law about not slapping it into touch.
The other bit (the offender being effectively removed from the equation) they just need to have been paying attention for the last few years.
LikeLiked by 1 person
To be fair to Quinlan, he was unaware of the gouging law at one time.
LikeLike
All the s**t flying around LC-D really gets to me. He’s a fabulous club and international player and a fair and honest guy.
I hope his colleagues have put big warm arms around him.
LikeLike
Bamber Gascoigne gone? Ah…that’s a pity…..
My claim to fame was I actually corrected him on Univ Challenge many years ago….
Q was “Malin Head is most northerly point in which country?” I replied “Republic of Ireland” – he said no, and when I looked horrified rather rather than disappointed he came back to me “Or is it in Donegal?” – I nodded saying “it’s in Donegal”.
He actually put notes on the questions himself so he knew when the teams were closing on an answer or going wrong and could cut off the long winded discussions…..
Strangely, one of my old unis – Birmingham – was on Univ Challenge last night against Kings College London – score was 145-110. We actually beat KCL back in 82, 83? Score was 230-240…. old format answered way more questions and it was sharper – “I have to hurry you” was a familar warning.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Makes for better telly I suppose is the reasoning behind allowing people to show their working out.
LikeLike
My working out for most of the University Challenge questions I get right would usually be along the lines of ‘it’s probably such-and-such or they wouldn’t be asking the question’. Over and over again.
LikeLike
Sometimes not far off….
Answer I was most proud of was a question that started off about 19th century professor of archaeology at the University of Naples (I wasn’t famliar with the name) – but question asked about the archaeological site which he discovered/developed/worked on?
Process of elimination – what famous archaeological sites are near Naples? Pompeii (they’d have probably accepted Herculaneum)
LikeLike
You see that in WMTBAM – contestants saying “well, I know it’s not A, but it might be B or C” – good tv, lousy strategy in my view. When you go to Ask the Audience or 50/50 you’ve already influenced the audience to consider your opinion more strongly than their own. And given the producers the perfect opportunity to remove the 2 answers you were sure were wrong from the 50/50.
The discussions in UC are fun – I recall a question where we had to name the satellites of Uranus (or was it Neptune) – I remembered Oberon, Titania, and Miranda and asked for another character from ‘A Midsummer’s Night Dream’ …. to be greeted with “Bottom” – which – in the interests of time – Bamber took despite my protests….
Marie Therese pointed out to me afterwards that Miranda is in ‘The Tempest’ anyway…..
LikeLike
I’ve always liked Alan Quinlan ;-)
LikeLike
Trisk,
BB will tell you that Oberon, Titania and Miranda may have been mentioned in passing by Willy Shakespeare, but they only really became famous when Pink Flord sang about them in Astronomy Domine.
LikeLiked by 2 people