Back to bad old days for the Springboks, being excluded from a tournament when we all know they’d have cakewalked it without raising a sweat. A bit like the World Cup and Lions tour. So easy was it that our Director of Rugby took to making videos to help the refs and carrying water onto the pitch for the boys to have a wee sip whilst the opposition lay scattered to the four corners. Anyway, not much we can do about this latest iniquity, so let’s have a look at the dross on display and see if we can squeeze a modicum of excitement out of the Six Nations: Greatest Show on Earth™.
France to Prance! Two silver medals (and nobody ripping them off their necks, I note) in the last two editions suggests that the combination of Galthié, Edwards and the growing presence of Dupont and Ntamack behind a typically rugged French pack should see them press for the whole thing this time around. France showed in taking a virtually third-string side to Australia in 2021 and then stuffing the All Blacks up their holes that they’re both good enough and have the depth to cope with the inevitable injuries and – dog forbid – Covid disruptions plaguing modern sport. France ease into the tournament with Italy at home, dusting off the cobwebs before playing possibly the defining match of the tournament a week later, at home to Ireland. Win those two and the French are fair set for another second-place finish behind the Boks.
Ireland are Firing! Probably the most consistent side of the last couple of years and with quality in most key positions, the Irish are many pundits’ favourites for the whole thing. Like France, they stuffed the Kiwis in the Autumn Internationals, to throw down a gauntlet to the rugby world this year. Ireland have quality across the park, with the one question being the increasingly age-old questions of whether the half back pair of Connor Murray and Johnny Sexton are up for another season. There’s plenty of depth behind those two, and with some scintillating outside backs emerging from the bogs, allied to one of the toughest, best loose trios out there, Ireland really could rip up a few trees this time out. Home to Wales first up, and a likely win (it’s been almost a decade since one of these sides won away), it’s then off to Paris for a potential Championship decider – should be a cracker. With a convenient breather after those two against Italy, it’s then away to an England who could be in disarray or eyeing a Grand Slam, before a potential last week banana skin against the ever-improving, continually disappointing Scots. Ireland to contest fiercely for that coveted second place behind the Boks.
Brave Scots or Bon Mots? Difficult to tell, really. With Finn Russell as skipper of the good ship Scotland you’re as likely to roar through the Strait of Messina giving two fingers to each of Scylla and Charybdis as you are wrecking yourself on the Thames tide. Scotland’s pack is now steady enough in the set piece (mostly) and has some fine, tearaway loose forwards in the best traditions of Scottish sides of yesteryear, to complement their back division. Get some decent front foot ball and this side can do serious damage. Eight B&I Lions last year, and only Ireland more consistent in the 6N in terms of wins in the last few years should see this Scots side bristling with confidence – and yet, is the self-belief there? They’ll not be lacking in motivation for the visit of England in round one, and a visit to Cardiff to face a potentially battered and bruised Wales could set them up for a glorious tilt at the whole shebang. They host favourites France after the break with the loser of that match surely consigned to the also-rans bin and can empty the tank on that one, with a break before travelling to Italy to come and then the other favourites, Ireland on the last weekend. If Scotland can navigate a way past the Scylla of France and Charybdis of Ireland, glory awaits! But it’s a long tournament and disruptions won’t be papered over easily with a callow pool to pick from. Out of the medals, with France and Ireland scrapping for the minor placings behind the mighty Boks.
Mojo or Bojo? Let’s face it, with Eddie ‘Rasputin was an amateur’ Jones calling the shots, you’re never really sure whether the chariot will swing, low, sweetly or at all. Plans have been disrupted by the loss of captain and talisman Owen Farrell, his replacement Courtney Lawes along with both first-choice wings and Manu ‘part-timer’ Tuilagi for the initial stages at least, means a disrupted backline held together by, er, Ben Youngs. On paper that looks horrible. Actually it looks horrible all round, but England beat both Australia and the Boks (how, nobody knows) in November so will have some cause for optimism. Young Marcus at 10 and Freddie Steward at 15 give England some fabulous attacking options though, behind a pack that whilst disrupted, seldom takes a backward step – and surely won’t do against Scotland first up. That said, it’s been lean pickings against the Scots in recent times, who have some class of their own. Away to Scotland is perilous against this backdrop of disruption, especially with a full Murrayfield and England will do well to host Italy with their personnel and faculties intact. Hosting Wales and Ireland before travelling to France is a bridge too far for this side. Perhaps Bojo the Slippery will come to the rescue by declaring war on France for not declaring war on Russia for not invading Ukraine? Either way, tussling with Scotland and Wales for the rights to look down on Italy.
Wales, beached or bubbling? Reigning Champions after a remarkable 2021 campaign, helped along nicely by the inability of opponents to keep all fifteen on the field for much of it, should see the Welsh with a decent shout this year. But the loss of AWJ, George North, Leigh Halfpenny, Ken Owens, Josh Navidi, Justin Tipuric and Taulupe Faletau is huge in terms of experience and ability. Dan Biggar gets his chance to wave his arms at the ref as actual skipper this year and has some great runners outside of him in LRZ, Josh Adams and Liam Williams and Lions nine Gareth Davies to steady things behind the scrum. The forwards will be well served by Lions loosehead Wyn Jones and tighthead Tomas Francis, but may be light between them, whilst the second row looks ‘orrible without AWJ – but Beard and Co will just about cope. Backs to the wall, the trip to Dublin could be a feisty affair, probably a loss, with Scotland then arriving in Cardiff to further torment Wales. A trip to London before hosting France may well see Wales looking at the Italy clash as their only win.
Italy: Ethiopia thrashed them twice: It may have been 90-odd years ago, but it seems about that long since the debate around their participation in the 6 Nations started. Lots of hype around how their junior sides are doing, how Benetton deservedly won whatever trophy it was during lockdown, how they’re producing a few decent players and are on an upward trajectory, but let’s face it, there’s more likelihood of the wolf actually suckling Romulus and Remus than this lot winning a match this season. And unlike the Colosseum, there’s little glorious or inspiring about the wreck that is Italian rugby. It’s a good thing you stir boiling water with a wooden spoon, because at least this squad will have plenty to choose from to make a plate of pasta. They’ll be competitive for bits and bobs in some matches, but really, Georgia would be a better bet, as we all know.
Springboks to Cruise it! Obviously leaving the best for last, so you can all savour that stunning last morsel, sated at the end by the power, subtlety, grace and deftness of the cornucopia of delights put on offer by the Boks, and washed down with crystal pure water served by the humble Waterboy himself. Can’t go into too much detail though because curiously the squad and fixtures don’t seem to be up anywhere. Doesn’t matter: five away matches, five wins, five bonus points and rightfully scratching New Zealand and Australia off Bill in 87 and 91 as an added bonus. Easy peasy. Siya Kolisi named player of the tournament, player of the year, new United Nations Secretary General and Commander of Space for Humanity.
You’ll be astounded to learn that this was the work of Deebee7.
Further Reading
Don’t miss BK’s fabulous graph of xenophobes v poachers.
Anyone who fancies a good old discussion about who should wear the 12 shirt for England can go here.
Onna telly this week
Friday 4th February
| Gloucester v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| France U20 v Italy U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ireland U20 v Wales U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer / S4C / RTÉ2 |
| Scotland U20 v England U20 | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer |
| Ulster v Connacht | 20:15 | BBC2 NI / TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 5th February
| Bulls v Lions | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Ireland v Wales | 14:15 | S4C / ITV / RTÉ2 |
| Stormers v Sharks | 15:05 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Scotland v England | 16:45 | BBC1 |
| Toulon v Castres | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 6th February
| Harlequins v Sale | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| France v Italy | 15:00 | ITV / RTÉ2 | ||
| Biarritz v La Rochelle | 17:30 | Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Clermont v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Sorry to drag things back to rugby, but Lowry, Baloucoune and Timoney are all back training with the Ireland squad this week. Will we see any changes to the match-day squad? The first two at least certainly put their hands up in the Ulster match.
If you look back, you will see that, in the second minute of the Ireland v Wales match when Hansen got the ball, I remarked that ‘Baloucoune would have scored that’, or words to that effect. Of course, he more or less did shortly thereafter.
It’s maybe good practice to keep one experienced winger and one newbie – idk, what do the OBers with coaching experience think (Trisk)? I would have Lowry on as FB though, at least on the bench. He’s magic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brookter – speaking of Shakespeare, if you haven’t read Maggie O’Farrell’s Hamnet, DO.
LikeLiked by 1 person
@Thaum – Seems unlikely that they’ll be changing the back three at all given they all went well. Who was on the bench against Wales? No idea if anyone came on, had lost interest quite some way before the end.
LikeLike
See Ticht’s been doing some advertising of his home town…
LikeLiked by 2 people
CMW, Hume was the outside backs replacement. He was ok from what I remember, much like you I wasn’t that bothered by the second half.
thaum, I could have put a word in for your boys as I was standing behind the attack coach in the queue at the bar on Sunday morning – he ordered a capuccino, me hot chocolate. Won’t see him for another month because we’re in the UK for half term and he’ll be in France next weekend. You’ll’ve played Italy by then and I expect Lowry and Baloucoune’ll get on the field in that game if they’ve worked on their not smiling.
Keenan’ll still be there. He’s becoming a very good player. For the wingers, perhaps but Hansen had a very good game. Henderson maybe into the 2nd row? Henshaw in the centres?
LikeLike
That’s funny seeing that BB.
It’s not the same place I left more than 35 years ago, it’s a lot quieter now, but it’s the place I’ll go back to in a few years.
That’s the place Cat described as a “Shithole”.
It’s just a very quiet wee town that doesn’t have the fishing industry is used to. If you want Leicester Square and Piccadilly then it’s not for you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Plus, the guy only walked along the High St and down by the harbour, there is a lot more to it than that
LikeLike
“If you want Leicester Square and Piccadilly then it’s not for you.”
It’s a long long way to Du-u-unbar
But it’s on the East Coast Main Line
LikeLike
“It’s a long long way to Du-u-unbar
But it’s on the East Coast Main Line”
Well, it is, but either you have to change at York or Newcastle and risk missing a connection – done that
or you have to go past it up to Edinburgh, wait an hour and get a train back – done that
sometimes the train back is cancelled or packed – done that too
It’s pretty annoying that it’s on the main line up the east coast from London and hardly any direct trains stop there
There is one sneaky train from King Cross that you can get though, it leaves at around five and goes direct to Dunbar.
oh and another thing whilst I’m at it, last train from Edinburgh to Dunbar is at ten o’clock, not much use for going out
LikeLike
I’ve only stood on a platform at the railway station there when a train ahead of us had broken down so the driver stopped there and announced that we were going to be there a long time so if you needed a fag then you could get out and get back on.
From the first few minutes of that video I can say for certain that it’s in a lot better nick than Campbeltown and they get better weather. Union City Blue is a great song so kudos to the presenter who bought it as their first single.
LikeLike
Now you see some of us wouldn’t have to change at York…
LikeLike
There’ll be an open bottle of Springbank (and a sofa) waiting for you here if you miss that connection again BTW.
LikeLike
“a very quiet wee town that doesn’t have the fishing industry is used to”
My fish dream is really Dunbar’s dream.
LikeLike
That’s the place Cat described as a “Shithole”.
Donald Trump’s favourite way to describe places he doesn’t like. Has anyone ever seen Trump and Cat in the same room etc etc?
LikeLike
From my recollection, Cat is about Trump’s height (allegedly Trump is 6′ 3 or 4 – then again is anything about him believable or not exaggerated) but IIRC Cat would be barely 50% of Trump’s bulk
LikeLike
@Thauma
I’d be very, very surprised. Effectively, Baloucoune is in competition with Conway – for the elusive runner, kick-chaser wing. Hansen is a direct replacement for Lowe – in that he’s a third “centre”.
Can see both Lowry and Baloucoune vs Italy but no chance vs France.
Henderson – it’s a big ask to put him in directly vs France with no game time, and then who’d you drop – Beirne or Ryan? Can’t see Henderson as a sub. Beirne is a handy sub but why drop him after last week – accusation is that he’s a bit “lightweight” and maybe you want heavy artillery versus France.
Timoney – again, no real issues with Doris, vd Flier and Conan. O’Mahony as sub gives you lineout options plus another breakdown threat – can play 6 or 7 depending, and subbing Conan (as they did on Sat) – you move Doris to 8. I’d guess if Timoney is to appear it would be for O’Mahony.
LikeLike
Just one more quick mention of Dunbar and environs, for Flair, Brookter and any other golfers, there are some really good courses in East Lothian, two in Dunbar, three in North Berwick and several others including Muirfield in Gullane where the Open Championship is held from time to time. Dunbar’s East Links course appears towards the end of this video. The back nine play into the wind, on a calm day (rare) it’s gentle golfing, when the wind whips up (often) it’s ferocious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
there’s a lot to like about East Lothian. Very nearly ended up out there, and my Dad lived in Dunbar for about a decade.
In the last 10 or 20 years Dunbar has expanded massively with new housing & supermarkets on the outskirts, and is a more affordable option for families than being in Embra.
LikeLike
Yeah, there’s Scottish Government policy to build new housing all over the country, from Inverness down to the Borders.
People do need somewhere to live, but it changes things, especially in rural areas
LikeLike
I’ve never been to Dunbar but my wife wants to do the ‘Scottish route 66’. Has anyone ever done this?
I still want to do a hunter gatherer survival holiday in Knoydart but she said she wants to be able shower. Ffs.
LikeLike
What’s the ‘scottish route 66’?
LikeLike
And have food. Can you believe this? Bringing whisky, fishing gear and a tent is not enough apparently.
LikeLike
Chimpie – was hoping you could help.
LikeLike
This I think
https://www.northcoast500.com/
LikeLike
‘hunter gatherer survival holiday in Knoydart’
Sounds great. Hunting walkers is probably easier than the deer and sheep.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well I drive the A66 on my way to Scotland, but it’s definitely a North Yorkshire/County Durham/Cumbria thing. Route 83 is the challenge the other end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pfft. Marketers. When I were a lad it were just called a road.
Lots of spectacular parts to that route though. Some great geological highlights too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Remember going to Orkney as a child and being surprised how relatively flat it was in the far north of Scotland though I’m sure that won’t be the case on the west side.
LikeLike
Seem to get stuck in traffic jams quite often on the A66 these days. It’s quite a lot safer than it was though with some of the changes that have been made, one particularly terrible junction in particular
LikeLike
Farthest North I’ve been in Scotland is the Isle of Skye.
LikeLike
Did a lot of that route inna oner at the age of about 21 with a former GF in a cold and wintry February, driving and sleeping in the back of an aged Saab. Happy days.
She managed to (thankfully at low speed) crash it into a cliff near Tongue. for some reason everyone assumed it was me wot did it. Outrageous.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Any interesting rocks dislodged?
LikeLike
Chimpie – why did you drive a car off a cliff? Channelling Thelma and Louise?
LikeLike
‘Any interesting rocks dislodged?’
Nah, it’s psammite in that area. ‘sboring metasediments (regional metamorphism, not even contact which can get more interesting results. can’t beat a good contact aureole). Good bit of high-grade gneiss would have been better, or even some of the interesting stuff around the Assynt Window.
LikeLike
I imagine that’s too much information
LikeLike
We’ve had the same “conversation” here in Ireland for last 20-30 years. Trying to stop the endless growth of Dublin, but not promoting single bungalows in middle of nowhere that are costly to connect to services (water, gas, electricity, broadband etc)
Not been a huge success – first iteration – before the 2008 crash envisaged development in every small town. A more recent version focused on fewer and larger urban centres.
You can see – to an extent – in my own town – much less green field development and much more backfill on empty urban sites.
Main thing is services etc need to follow the houses
LikeLike
Matron!
LikeLike
LikeLiked by 2 people
“Assynt”
Well there’s an AoD placename if ever there was one. Twinned with Swindon I presume.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Twatt, on the Orkneys, is a favourite. Straight to the pointt.
LikeLike
Assynt – glorious………..most wonderful area of Scotland
LikeLike
Talk of Knoydart reminds me of a day walking along the ‘roller-coaster’ track along Loch Hourn one gloomy day.
On reaching the nth mini-crest there was a ‘woosh’ and a golden eagle swooped head on at head level. We took the knee in awe.
LikeLike
aaaannd – Rugby.
“sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get it wrong” – Eddie Jones.
Sod this ‘hey-ho’ attitude – you’re paid gazillions to get it right all the time – and you are nowhere near!
LikeLike
Trisk
growth of Dublin
Reminds me of this joke from about 3.40 onwards:
LikeLike
My favourite bit in that though is:
‘So are you Irish?’
‘No I’m British’
‘So is you here on holiday then?’
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘Talk of Knoydart reminds me of a day walking along the ‘roller-coaster’ track along Loch Hourn one gloomy day.’
That’s a sod of a track. Done it on a few occasions in day and night. Lovely location and once you get there it’s great but humping a heavy pack along there, up and down that track is hard work.
LikeLike
Goodness.
LikeLike
You’ll be even more excited, tomp, when I tell you about that time I spent a day measuring cleavage in Lochaber.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I once interviewed for a job, title of ‘bottom hole engineer’. I kid you not.
I didn’t take it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I once had a chat with someone who was having problems with his ARSPIPES
LikeLike