With four of the six nations on one win and one loss, it’s all looking very close; leaders France are only 3 points ahead of England and Ireland. Poor Italy are as usual languishing at the bottom of the table, although they have a glimmer of not-finishing-last to play for, should Wales go down and Italy actually manage to win one. (Not this weekend, obviously.)
Having consulted my crystal ovally ball, I can tell you how it’s going to go.
Scotland v France
According to Toonie, “France are one of the top two or three teams in the world right now. They’ve got a huge pack, momentum behind them, results behind them, so it’s a great challenge for us.”
Awa’ with yer underdogging. We see the secret weapon: Darge at 6 and McFuckface at 7. Poachers of the world, unite!
Prediction: home advantage to seal the deal. Scotland by 2.
England v Wales
England’s desperate toss of the dice in Manu-shaped form has been unsuccessful due to ham sandwich problems, throwing the coaching staff into such a tizzy that they aren’t even going to name the match-day squad until the day of.
Food-related issues continue to plague the side as captain Courtney ‘Two Brain Cells’ Lawes has a scrambled-eggs problem.
The Northampton forward said he “was worried about my head” when he first came into camp “not feeling great” after numerous incidents on the field.
But after seeing a specialist and getting a brain scan, Lawes told BBC Sport he was relieved to find it was “nothing to do with my brain”.
Instead, an issue with his inner ear meant “the connection between eyes, ears and neck was a bit scrambled”.
Meanwhile, Wales are having selection problems of their own, with talisman Alun-Wyn Jones still out, and the bizarre decision to drop Louis Rees-Zammit and bring back card-magnet Josh Adams in his place. However, fit-again Taulupe Faletau starts at 8.
Prediction: Never, ever write Wales off against England, especially a slightly discombobulated one. Wales by 3.
Ireland v Italy
This one is easy: first-cap Ulsterman Michael Lowry is going to bedazzle and befuddle the hapless Azzuri and score about six tries.
In the second half, fellow Ulstermen Herring and Hume will come on with Sexton (Carbery is starting) and complete the annihilation.
Leprechaun JGP at scrum-half – who should rightfully be a (fit) John Cooney or Nathan Doak if it weren’t for the bizarre and troubling vendetta against Ulsterpersons – will make a series of bad decisions and also, annoyingly, score a try.
Prediction: Ireland, with home advantage, by 56.
You May Have Missed…
Brookter’s potted history of royal wealth.
Onna telly this week
Friday 25th February
| Scotland v Colombia (women) | 15:00 | BBC iPlayer/website/Alba |
| Zebre v Bulls | 17:30 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England v Wales (U20s) | 19:00 | BBC iPlayer/website / S4C |
| Leinster v Lions | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Worcester v Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| Ireland v Italy (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer/website |
| Scotland v France (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer/website |
Saturday 26th February
| Connacht v Stormers | 13:00 | RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 2 |
| Scotland v France | 14:15 | BBC1 |
| Treviso v Sharks | 15:05 | Premier Sports 2 |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Brive v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 27th February
| Northampton v Exeter | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Ireland v Italy | 15:00 | ITV | ||
| Montpellier v Stade Français | 16:30 | Premier Sports 2 | ||
| Toulouse v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Ovally Balls 
I think we’ve all felt the same way as the VP in this clip
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RIP Shirley Hughes. All of my girls have had Dogger read to them countless times and been suitably terrorised by such dark creations as The Little Girl who wouldn’t sell Dogger back to Dave and the big teddy whose eyes were too staring.
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Alfie and Annie Rose can do one though.
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On first skim read through I read that as Axl Rose can do one.
Which is about right though.
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Seeing as no one is listening….
Some Debussy.
On guitar, double bass, violin, mandolin and banjo?
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Yes, gone quiet last few days
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Time for an England centres debate??
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@Dab – Bella and her friend Barbara combined well to win the three-legged race so they might be worth a go.
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England centres? Maybe outrage at George Ford being sent packing when he was the new messiah? Before the New, new messiah?
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“George Ford being sent packing”
I read somewhere that means the cover for outside half is Furbank. Don’t know much about him, but didn’t think that was where he normally played. Is he any good?
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no
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good
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My thoughts are with FD at this difficult time
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Furbank did alright when thrown in last Autumn. Probably as good as anyone in the Eddie play by numbers game .
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Besides, not gonna get much ball against Ireland so can he tackle is the question.
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Which is why Daly is out I suspect, and its interesting that Lewis Ludlow is in the squad, cos he is the original tackling machine.
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for reference form most recent prem stats
MOST TACKLES
LEWIS LUDLOW
236
six more than Ben Earl.
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Pfft! Johnny Gray completes more tackles than that in the warm up.
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I’d assumed Lewis Ludlow was a typo for Ludlam in The Graun, but apparently he exists as well. He’ll feature strongly in my preview…
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Former England captain Lewis Ludlow you mean
https://www.skysports.com/rugby-union/news/12504/12347094/lewis-ludlow-to-captain-england-side-featuring-eight-debutants-against-usa-at-twickenham
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Future England Captain ?
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LC-D: broken
Porter A: broken
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Ah yes, I remember that match very well.
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By which I mean not at all. Did it actually get played?
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Fascinating. I must try to notice these things in future.
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CMW, Ludlow has been a wonder at Glaws the last two seasons. He is a dynamo, and having been made capain he has led by example, upping his work rate and generally cutting out the daft over enthusiasms he was prone to before that, I would be quite happy to have him in the England side. Moving Lawes back to second row, it would improve the pack immeasurably. Ewels I don’t think is test class, and All the others, aren’t quite there yet. Lawes and Itoje with Launch on the bench works for me.In fact, Lawes and Lunch with super maro on the bench works for me .
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“Lunch”
I hope he’s real too!
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More seriously my instinct is that you’re right that England would benefit from playing their second rows in the second row* and fielding two proper flankers.
*And yes, I’d expect Lawes to be one of them as he does seem to be one of England’s better performers.
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@ticht
That’s very clever and moving
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Trisk, I was incredibly moved by the scenes in Germany on our news last night. As refugees from Ukraine disembarked into Germany, they were met by families holding placards reading “we can take four” or “we can take two” or whatever.
They had gone there to offer places in their own homes.
Also, there was a Syrian guy, one who had been a refugee himself, organising busses and vans to go and collect people from Ukraine
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RIP Warnie
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Wow – Shane Warne gone after Rod Marsh….!
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Gutted to read about Warnie. Almost certainly the greatest sportsman I ever saw or will see live. A true legend.
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Is Ollie Lawrence currently injured? Or is he just not hungry enough?
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Bit of a shock for Warne to go so soon. He’d be an automatic pick for a greatest side ever (well at least as long as the game wasn’t in India) and the game was never dull when he was involved even if my memories of him are slightly scarred by Australia being the one team I’m bothered about England doing well against.
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@OT – Proper misleading Robelinda title to that Youtube clip though as they so often are. Terrible batting in that over, I think I’d almost give the wicket to Gilchrist for laughing the ball before. It does show how Warne got into batsmen’s heads, but McMillan only had himself to blame for that one.
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Warne’s in that very rare category of players who no matter what anyone does subsequently it’s inconceivable to me that they will convince me they are better than or even as good as he was. Viv and maybe Marshall in cricket, Maradona, Federer. Don’t think rugby really lends itself to this so struggle to pick anyone from it.
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My Facebook feed is full of mourning about Warnie’s passing. Its not seen so much sadness since the death of Bobby Ball.
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Ticht, I can’t uptick your poem ( some technical glitch, no problem) but it is really good. I already forwarded it .
Thaum, you’ve got mail.
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@OT – When you think about it and realise that every spin bowler at every level in the last twenty odd years will at some point have had a delivery greeted with a cry of ‘Bowling Warnie’ it’s just ridiculous.
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New post soon….
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Allez-y
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