With four of the six nations on one win and one loss, it’s all looking very close; leaders France are only 3 points ahead of England and Ireland. Poor Italy are as usual languishing at the bottom of the table, although they have a glimmer of not-finishing-last to play for, should Wales go down and Italy actually manage to win one. (Not this weekend, obviously.)
Having consulted my crystal ovally ball, I can tell you how it’s going to go.
Scotland v France
According to Toonie, “France are one of the top two or three teams in the world right now. They’ve got a huge pack, momentum behind them, results behind them, so it’s a great challenge for us.”
Awa’ with yer underdogging. We see the secret weapon: Darge at 6 and McFuckface at 7. Poachers of the world, unite!
Prediction: home advantage to seal the deal. Scotland by 2.
England v Wales
England’s desperate toss of the dice in Manu-shaped form has been unsuccessful due to ham sandwich problems, throwing the coaching staff into such a tizzy that they aren’t even going to name the match-day squad until the day of.
Food-related issues continue to plague the side as captain Courtney ‘Two Brain Cells’ Lawes has a scrambled-eggs problem.
The Northampton forward said he “was worried about my head” when he first came into camp “not feeling great” after numerous incidents on the field.
But after seeing a specialist and getting a brain scan, Lawes told BBC Sport he was relieved to find it was “nothing to do with my brain”.
Instead, an issue with his inner ear meant “the connection between eyes, ears and neck was a bit scrambled”.
Meanwhile, Wales are having selection problems of their own, with talisman Alun-Wyn Jones still out, and the bizarre decision to drop Louis Rees-Zammit and bring back card-magnet Josh Adams in his place. However, fit-again Taulupe Faletau starts at 8.
Prediction: Never, ever write Wales off against England, especially a slightly discombobulated one. Wales by 3.
Ireland v Italy
This one is easy: first-cap Ulsterman Michael Lowry is going to bedazzle and befuddle the hapless Azzuri and score about six tries.
In the second half, fellow Ulstermen Herring and Hume will come on with Sexton (Carbery is starting) and complete the annihilation.
Leprechaun JGP at scrum-half – who should rightfully be a (fit) John Cooney or Nathan Doak if it weren’t for the bizarre and troubling vendetta against Ulsterpersons – will make a series of bad decisions and also, annoyingly, score a try.
Prediction: Ireland, with home advantage, by 56.
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Brookter’s potted history of royal wealth.
Onna telly this week
Friday 25th February
| Scotland v Colombia (women) | 15:00 | BBC iPlayer/website/Alba |
| Zebre v Bulls | 17:30 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England v Wales (U20s) | 19:00 | BBC iPlayer/website / S4C |
| Leinster v Lions | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Worcester v Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| Ireland v Italy (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer/website |
| Scotland v France (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer/website |
Saturday 26th February
| Connacht v Stormers | 13:00 | RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 2 |
| Scotland v France | 14:15 | BBC1 |
| Treviso v Sharks | 15:05 | Premier Sports 2 |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Brive v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 27th February
| Northampton v Exeter | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Ireland v Italy | 15:00 | ITV | ||
| Montpellier v Stade Français | 16:30 | Premier Sports 2 | ||
| Toulouse v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Ovally Balls 
Well played indeed by France. Dickson is a really annoying ref, but I do like his emphasis on playing the ball out of the scrum if its available, rather than firing out random penalties. I think he really needs help from his assistants on breakdown decisions tho.
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Impressive win by France. It seems their entire strategy is contain and strike. Very effective. Requires high levels of fitness the French seldom had previously. Hope it’s all legit. Scotland were so far behind in this regard.
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Blue skies in London.
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Good gallop by Horse.
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Naughty Liambility. In the bin with you.
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Stupid move by Liambility.
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Not exactly sparked to life, this game.
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Terrible game so far.
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CW – tripe!
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Bugger, LCD broke.
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The Middle One says a game of netball would never be this boring. And she supports England who are about to go 9-0 up. I haven’t got much of a case against.
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Good to see horse in such fine fettle
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CW – don’t let your personal view be representative of others.
t the moment it’s a great wrestle
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CMW – as you’re here, do you want the weekend of 11th March or Super Saturday for your ATL? :-)
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Great kick by slade
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@Thaum – No enthusiasm for the last day so I’ll take the earlier one.
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Thought you might say that!
Any other volunteers for the last day welcome (Flair is writing next week on something not quite 6N-specific, information we could all have done with earlier).
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Agree with JW that if England carry on like the last five minutes or so then the tries will come. They should win easily in any case with the lead they’ve got from the penalties. Wales in danger of getting nilled and we should have been the first week too. Still, who knows, might get it together I suppose. Scrums have been a real highlight, The Middle One doesn’t think much of them whatever my ‘personal view’ might be.
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Not very accurate but quite interesting arm wrestle in Twickenham. Wales giving it all as usual and England too prone to kicking when opportunities to run arise. Great kick by Slade though.
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Maybe the Middle One should write the Super Saturday ATL.
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No inside info from me, Thaum, just stealing from newspapers.
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Jeebus, Wales.
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What was that lineout? Not that I’m mad, as an England fan.
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Flair – maybe our coaches should have been reading the same newspapers.
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Good work!
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A try!
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Can’t believe that ball near England’s line could have been won legally on the ground.
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Thought there was a knock on from the cock up at the lineout previously though. That aside we haven’t had much out of the ref other than possibly (who knows?) some scrum nonsense.
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Ooh, Welsh try!
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That was a great bit of play by Williams, t
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lovely try……………
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That was a lovely, flat pass.
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Nice pass. England looked to have enough defenders.
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Wales again! Game on!
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This is getting interesting!
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another fine try…………………………..still boring CMW?
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@Slade – I still don’t think either side are very good. Close is better of course!
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Not that it’s staying close – paying now for the dull penalties coughed up in the first half.
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Who is the ref? He looks Matt Hancock.
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Mike Adamson, Dab. What a thought.
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Ha.
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Good second half. More organised team won.
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Well, the second half was quite exciting. Well done England, and hard luck Wales.
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……belting match – terriffic from the Welsh.
Marcus Smith never took a backward step
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Congrats England, hard luck Wales.
Still can’t see either of these teams beating France.
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Shame, almost hoping Wales would sneak that. Good Six Nations dogfight in the end.
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Scotland beat England.
Wales beat Scotland.
England beat Wales.
Really not much between these three sides.
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Wales gave it a great shot at the comeback. England sort of missing something, not sure about Daly, think his defence is so so, also suspect we are missing a real poacher/razor sharp strike runner in the back three. Would have probably had Randall as MoM, Williams T was pretty good as well.
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Also surprised at how much tackling Marcus Smith did.
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Faletau was my Marcus of the Match. We’ve learned that Saints players don’t get carded for deliberate knock ons.
Don’t think we’ll beat France or Ireland though.
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