With four of the six nations on one win and one loss, it’s all looking very close; leaders France are only 3 points ahead of England and Ireland. Poor Italy are as usual languishing at the bottom of the table, although they have a glimmer of not-finishing-last to play for, should Wales go down and Italy actually manage to win one. (Not this weekend, obviously.)
Having consulted my crystal ovally ball, I can tell you how it’s going to go.
Scotland v France
According to Toonie, “France are one of the top two or three teams in the world right now. They’ve got a huge pack, momentum behind them, results behind them, so it’s a great challenge for us.”
Awa’ with yer underdogging. We see the secret weapon: Darge at 6 and McFuckface at 7. Poachers of the world, unite!
Prediction: home advantage to seal the deal. Scotland by 2.
England v Wales
England’s desperate toss of the dice in Manu-shaped form has been unsuccessful due to ham sandwich problems, throwing the coaching staff into such a tizzy that they aren’t even going to name the match-day squad until the day of.
Food-related issues continue to plague the side as captain Courtney ‘Two Brain Cells’ Lawes has a scrambled-eggs problem.
The Northampton forward said he “was worried about my head” when he first came into camp “not feeling great” after numerous incidents on the field.
But after seeing a specialist and getting a brain scan, Lawes told BBC Sport he was relieved to find it was “nothing to do with my brain”.
Instead, an issue with his inner ear meant “the connection between eyes, ears and neck was a bit scrambled”.
Meanwhile, Wales are having selection problems of their own, with talisman Alun-Wyn Jones still out, and the bizarre decision to drop Louis Rees-Zammit and bring back card-magnet Josh Adams in his place. However, fit-again Taulupe Faletau starts at 8.
Prediction: Never, ever write Wales off against England, especially a slightly discombobulated one. Wales by 3.
Ireland v Italy
This one is easy: first-cap Ulsterman Michael Lowry is going to bedazzle and befuddle the hapless Azzuri and score about six tries.
In the second half, fellow Ulstermen Herring and Hume will come on with Sexton (Carbery is starting) and complete the annihilation.
Leprechaun JGP at scrum-half – who should rightfully be a (fit) John Cooney or Nathan Doak if it weren’t for the bizarre and troubling vendetta against Ulsterpersons – will make a series of bad decisions and also, annoyingly, score a try.
Prediction: Ireland, with home advantage, by 56.
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Brookter’s potted history of royal wealth.
Onna telly this week
Friday 25th February
| Scotland v Colombia (women) | 15:00 | BBC iPlayer/website/Alba |
| Zebre v Bulls | 17:30 | Premier Sports 1 |
| England v Wales (U20s) | 19:00 | BBC iPlayer/website / S4C |
| Leinster v Lions | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Worcester v Harlequins | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
| Ireland v Italy (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer/website |
| Scotland v France (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC iPlayer/website |
Saturday 26th February
| Connacht v Stormers | 13:00 | RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 2 |
| Scotland v France | 14:15 | BBC1 |
| Treviso v Sharks | 15:05 | Premier Sports 2 |
| England v Wales | 16:45 | ITV / S4C |
| Brive v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
Sunday 27th February
| Northampton v Exeter | 13:00 | BT Sport 1 | ||
| Ireland v Italy | 15:00 | ITV | ||
| Montpellier v Stade Français | 16:30 | Premier Sports 2 | ||
| Toulouse v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Ovally Balls 
This law about having to bring on a front-rower is really stupid.
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Well thats fucked that then. harsh decision, he did dip into the tackle. Then uncontested scrums, so thats a really stupid law to take them down to 13. Ridiculous.
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Yep. Ludicrous. I understand the need to prevent shenanigans but it’s game over. Am off.
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They’re not down to 13. They have 14, but they had to take another player off to bring on a front-rower.
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So with an uncontested scrum, why can’t you put a scrumhalf at hooker if you want to ?
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I have no idea. It makes no sense.
Maybe they do only have 13 – ???
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Thaum, I think you’re wrong. They are down to 13. In exchange of uncontested scrums. Each scrum has to be 8 vs 8. Therefore Italy must defend with 2 backs missing.
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Yeah, I think you’re right. I can certainly only count 13.
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Surely there is a cock up there? Why must you take a back off ? If you have a flanker sent off, you just stick jonny May on the flank at the scrum, so why not take a second row off and let them have another Back row or 8 come on, more mobile and less of a fuck up. I would be gutted if I hd just spent a couple of hundred Euros for a decent ticket.
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Mind, I would be more than happy if it was Ireland or France down to 13 against England.
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This from the Gruan MBM in reply to an email about it:
“The answer is (and I’m sure you’ll all email me to tell me I’m wrong) is that in the absence of the two hookers, one injured and one sent off, they switched to uncontested scrums. In this instance, it means that Italy have to lose a second player, a law in place to stop teams from abusing the laws, and assuring uncontested scrums when they fancy it. The referee did not make this very clear at the time, and neither did the commentators.”
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Just checked the law. It’s basically 13 vs 15 as soon as a front rower gets a RC and a scrum is called by the ref.
It was intended to prevent props feigning injuries when outrageously dominated as with no replacement available you’d get uncontested scrums.
Unintended consequences and all that.
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If any time was the time for Expro, this is it.
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Wasn’t it the same situation when Haouas got his RC vs Scotland 2 years ago?
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Not sure. Italy have had a hooker injured and one sent off, so no hookers left. Think France would probably have had a replacement hooker available for that game? I don’t remember uncontested scrums taking place. Sure I’ll be told if I’m wrong.
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Think Haouas was replaced by his sub, then France had to lose a flanker, I think.
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Italy should be doing an 8 pick at every scrum on their ball, with the 9 standing off a few yards,
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Ulsterman scores the final try.
Ireland were shit against 13 men, or maybe Italy just didn’t let them play. Poor handling and decision-making though.
Italy can certain hold their heads up.
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Moral victory to Italy. Probably beat Scotland now.
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Sexton looked a calm head in picking the lock better than Carbery.
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SBT – yes. He is a lot better. But then, he has more experience.
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More explanation of the scrum sub thing
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Refit, that is an excellent explanation of the law but one thing I think is silly is that if you have two front rows injured you go down to 14 – a whole different thing to having a player sent to the bin or red carded
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Only saw the 2nd half as we flew back to Dublin this afternoon. Italy did a decent job. Amazing to see Paolo Garbisi packing down in the second row at at least one scrum.
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I just read elsewhere that the law on teams losing players was brought in after Wasps were going uncontested scrums on a suspiciously regular basis.
I have no way of verifying that but in any case I’ll change my point of view and say that I understand that there has to be a punishment to deter teams going to uncontested scrums.
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Ticht – yep, BOD and Best did a pretty good job of explaining why the law is there. But it’s very clear that the Italians did not it intentionally, and I still felt pretty bad for them. As Farrell said, they played very bravely.
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In case you wanted to research the various scenarios….
https://www.world.rugby/the-game/laws/guidelines/16
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Odd thing is that as soon as Lucchesi went off so early I said to my fellow viewers (wife and #1 son) that Italy would be in trouble if anything happened to replacement hooker….. jinxed it, didnt l ? Though I was expecting an injury.
It’s quite well known at our grass roots level that if you go uncontested, you lose a man. I suppose no-one foresaw this in a high profile international match.
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trisk, it happened in the SA-Italy game in the World Cup. Two Italian props went off very early and they went to uncontested scrums. They had two loose heads on the field (or two tight heads, can’t remember which). Later one of the surviving props got a red. And the other prop might have as well because he’d also been involved in the horror tackle on Vermeulen.
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Shame about the Italy game: laws applied properly, but still not what anyone wants to see.
On the other hand, Volodomir Zelensky did the voice over for the Ukrainian edition of Paddington Bear (click on picture to see the full poster…)
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RIP Saddleworth League legend Sonny Ramadhin. He did some stuff internationally too
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This is genius
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An interesting tweet about yesterday’s game
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Just saw a highlights package of the Scotland-France match. France look pretty impressive! Difficult to gauge over the course of the 80 minutes in a 10 minute package, but they do seem to have most bases covered right now.
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Deebee, I thought France were really good, and what is frightening is that there is room for improvement. I didn’t think Ntamak had his best game, but they way they converted practically every chance that came their way was impressive. If they had a goal kicker the score would have been much worse from our perspective.
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You won’t see a better cross-field kick and winger’s catch for a try than this:
Simmonds to Woodburn
starts at approx 3.35 in this highlights reel
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@Ticht
didn’t the French kicker have something like 90% success rate in his international career prior to this game?
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Baird incident doesn’t look good – in Baird’s ‘favour’ is the fact that Blue 22 has an arm in front to fend off, and possibly the fact that Baird doesn’t drive upwards into the collision, and wraps/grabs Blue 22.
Flip side of that is that Baird doesn’t lower his height at all.
I vaguely recall seeing it at the time and wondered “what happened there?” – but sometime in the blur of the match (and one that – by now – I wasn’t watching attentively) you assume if TMO is ok with it, there was nothing in it.
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Yep, from that angle certainly looks worse than the the Italian guy’s hit to me. Thought it was borderline enough to yellow, altho strict adherence to law said red, but so is that one. Cue a rash of sendings off in the next round.
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The warning to rich Russians linked to Putin that the UK government “will come after you” and ensure oligarchs have “nowhere to hide” is likely to hit hard at the gated luxury housing estate in Surrey dubbed “Britain’s Beverly Hills”.
Russians and those from former Soviet states own more than a quarter of the 430 luxurious homes in St George’s Hill, a heavily guarded 964-acre estate near Weybridge, Surrey, where mansions have changed hands for more than £20m each.
This leaves me wondering whether it’s so heavily guarded that I won’t be able to ride my bike on the golf course in the estate anymore (last time I did this was in the 90s). Couple of nice skids across each green would be good.
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Brad, one of six fluorescent jacket-wearing security guards who prevented Craigs from entering St George’s Hill, said there were more Russians living on the estate now than at any time in his six years working at the gate.
“I imagine they are getting a bit nervous now about what Boris [Johnson] might do now that Putin has invaded Ukraine,” he said. “But, there’s one thing I can tell you for sure, they won’t want to talk to you and we are calling the police unless you leave now.”
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Didn’t they let the proletariat stay in the Russian mansions after the Bolshevik revolution? They should do that with these houses.
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Cmw – you used to be able to just cycle right in, tear up the golf course and build jumps next to the fairway. People shouted at you but zero fucks were given. Maybe that’s why Brad now has employment there.
Man I miss the 90s.
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Please, think of the estate agents instead of espousing your wanton Bolshevism. Shame on you.
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Lenin did skids in the Winter Palace.
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Sweardle day 54 3/4
⬛⬛🟩⬛
⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩
https://sweardle.com/
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@OT – I felt it was pretty obvious once I’d tried ‘Shit’.
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@cmw
Piece of piss.
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……………OT, on a hot streak, blocks b(l)og
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Got it in two. Had to remember not to use the Afrikaans/Saffer spelling.
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