Getting to the business end now, so things are hotting up or cooling down, depending on your perspective. Three teams still in it, and away fixtures for the two favourites, so could be a good round of games. Could be.
As the times demand a number of contradictory but yet plausible expert views, the blog’s favourite possibly evil nine-year-old is on board this week to provide the comfort of a second equally valid set of predictions. She also gives her assessment of each team’s most important player. And that would be the one who scores all the points. Won’t win if you don’t score points.
Wales v France
While Friday night Six Nations games shouldn’t be condoned, it does provide a good opportunity for the TV-watching audience to enjoy a match without ruining dinner/missing dinner/having to make alternative arrangements to get children to ballet classes. Some might think Wales will have gained confidence from their showing in the second half at Twickenham, but only being able to score tries when playing desperate catch-up has been a bit of a thing at times under Wayne Pivac, and the first-half wet fart, along with the Dublin débâcle, don’t give much cause for hope. On the flip side, Wales have been dogged as anything in recent home games against the Boks and the Scots, so could just about conceivably grind something out. On the selection front, Pivac has gone full Gats, chucking in Navidi when he’s probably not fully fit, presumably on the basis that it worked with Faletau the other week. Wales also field three out of four players who suffered head injuries at Twickenham. Whilst I’m sure they have all passed the various tests, it does make you wonder if Wales deserve anything this time out at all.
France were absolutely ruthless when it came to taking their chances at Murrayfield, and anything like that will surely mean a big win for them. Dupont has been passed fit, Penaud misses out due to Covid with Villiere returning, and otherwise they’re as you were bar one further bench change. Hopefully Geraint Pillock’s cousin Dylan Cretin will make it on to the field at some point. If we do see them in full flow with the glorious short passing and brute force of the forwards and some sparkling back play, then there will be nothing to begrudge. So can Wales drag them down? France have had off spells in some of their recent games and come roaring back, but could they be due a real off day? Clutching at straws maybe, but anyway:
CMW’s prediction: Can’t be going for three away wins and don’t know which one of the two big games to go for as the upset.
Wales 26-23 France
Middle One’s prediction: Dan Biggar doesn’t always make good decisions – shouldn’t have gone for that drop goal when they could have scored a try against Scotland. He’s always shouting at people so might not be a very nice man. Don’t know who kicks the goals for France, but it’s probably some really super person who never misses.
Wales 21-28 France
Italy v Scotland
The phrase ‘nothing to see here’ could perhaps be used for a lot of Italy’s Six Nations games, but their last outing may well have trumped all previous efforts on that front. Will being on the wrong end of an unfair and pretty arcane part of an unfair and pretty arcane rule that is only necessary because rugby is full of cheating bastards inspire them to great heights? Or will their challenge fade to nothing at the first sign of Scotland being anywhere near on their game? I know which I expect. The Scots will be missing Duhan van der Merwe after a slightly unfortunate sending off playing for Worcester, but with plenty of other exciting runners and their pack likely to dominate this should be a comfortable win.
CMW’s prediction: Italy 13 Scotland 37
Middle One’s prediction: Finn Russell needs to take things more seriously if Scotland are going to win anything, he’s always smiling and laughing even when he’s done something bad. I don’t smile when I’m playing netball and he shouldn’t either. Who kicks goals for Italy? Who knows and who cares?
Italy 17 Scotland 43
England v Ireland
England took advantage of some sloppy Welsh forward play to get their lead last time out with soft penalties and an even softer try, and then didn’t do a lot after that. That said, they had looked good in parts up to the point of not scoring tries during the first fifty minutes or so, and at Murrayfield they also had a lot of the game without capitalising on it. Is there something fundamentally wrong or is it just all waiting to click and if so could this be the day? Considered opinion on Ovally Balls has been that playing two proper flankers wouldn’t go amiss. I had been hoping to see Lewis Ludlow, previously unknown to me though reading around the subject I see that this was probably because he was known as Dinham for a very long time. Sadly Eddie has cast him aside, leaving Curry as the only flanker left in the squad. He’s an injury doubt so we may yet see two number eights and a second row starting in the back row. I had heard that George Ford would be missing out with the apparently not very good George Furbank as the outside half cover on the bench, but see that that was just some training squad shenanigans and Ford is back in, though it wouldn’t be a big surprise to see Smith play the whole game anyway.
Passing over the Italian hooker-based non-event, Ireland’s last game was the defeat in Paris. I felt they might have got a proper hiding if it hadn’t been for Hansen’s skilful but freakish try. However, the comeback in the second half was impressive to the point that they could have gone on to win, so it’s hard to know what to make of that performance. It’s good to see significant Ulster presence in the wider squad; I’m sure they’ll all be there on match day. [Ed: harrumph!] There’s a lot more pace in Ireland’s passing this season, some of the play between the forwards is great to watch, and they look a really good team when they get going. England, though, always have a chance to win at home no matter whom they’re playing.
CMW’s prediction: Can’t be going for three away wins etc.
England 26-19 Ireland
Middle One’s prediction: Marcus Smith is the annoying-looking one who’s always really pleased with himself and has weird hair. Don’t like him though he does score a lot of points sometimes. A boy in my class wants to be Johnny Sexton and seems to support him even though he should be supporting England. Like Johnny Sexton, he plays rugby when he isn’t injured though he broke his collar-bone scoring a try the first time they were allowed to tackle each other properly, so can only play on his own at the moment.
England 27-35 Ireland
Bowwow Woofwoof Grrrr as David Bowie would say.
Plausible Expert Views by ClydeMillarWynant and The Middle One.
Onna telly this week
Friday 11th March
| Sharks v Scarlets | 17:10 | TG4 / BBC2 Wales / Premier Sports 1 |
| Italy v Scotland (U20s) | 19:00 | BBC iPlayer / website |
| Wales v France | 20:00 | BBC1 / S4C |
Saturday 12th March
| Bulls v Munster | 14:05 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Italy v Scotland | 14:15 | ITV |
| England v Ireland | 17:15 | ITV |
| England v Ireland (U20s) | 19:15 | BBC iPlayer / website |
| Ulster v Leinster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Montpellier v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 13th March
| Lions v Cardiff | 14:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 | ||
| Northampton v Wasps | 15:00 | ITV / BT Sport 1 | ||
| Stormers v Zebre | 16:05 | FreeSports | ||
| Clermont v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Ovally Balls 
Cheers CMW.
I can’t really argue with The Middle One’s predictions.
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Middle One makes more sense than any of the ‘rugby’ writers on the Graun.
Good stuff Clyde (and Middle One).
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Words innit.
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On a non rugby note, I’ve noticed that you have to now look for covid stats on most news websites (rather than it being on the front page) and no one is counting the daily rate on the weekend. But the covid rate is going up and no one seems to care.
It’s almost like the last 2 years was just to justify a news cycle.
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Yep, the rates of cases, hospitalisations and deaths are all up the past few days. There is a ‘Deltacron’ variant that combines facets of the two – hopefully not the high transmissibility of Omicron & the fatality of Delta, but we don’t know yet.
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@Thaum – I forgot to suggest a picture, but nice to see you got it right!
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CMW – it’s not often you run across someone who identifies with Edmund in TLTWATW. Kinda unforgettable.
What’s her opinion on Harry Potter?
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Her favourite character is Draco Malfoy. Whoever that is.
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Hahaha, I was going to guess that!
(He’s a baddie.)
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Lemony Snicket’s the thing at the moment. She’s not actually on Count Olaf’s side, but he is her favourite character. This is something of a softening of her position vis a vis Lion/Witch/Wardrobe.
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I’ve not read that one.
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Middle one seems have a great feel for the game. And gives a middle one to the rest of us useless pundits. I for one etc etc.
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Kudos to CMW for capturing excellent analysis so well!
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Middle One makes a lot of good points, not least that the people who score all the points are quite important.
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We will tell her that all the Irish players got sorted into Slytherin, and she’ll be supporting us.
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Missed the 1st half of the Sharks-Scarlets match, which was 6-6 from what I understand. Scarlets have really looked good ball in hand, but have also been battered a bit in the close exchanges. Sharks backs have looked disjointed, possibly because the superb and talismanic Lukanyo Am has nipped off to Japan for a pension top up.
Both sides have conceded soft tries in the last couple of minutes and Scarlets still have a fingernail in it 10 down with 3 to go. Everything a bit frenetic now.
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Speaking of Harry Potter, if anyone’s got a couple of hours to spare, this is good:
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Sharks kick to touch looking for the bonus point try. Time up. Fassi and Bosch have both been excellent on the counter for the Sharks, with Fassi superb under the high ball too. Overall a bit scrappy otherwise, but given the stop-start nature of the season its to be expected I suppose.
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Scarlets down to 13 in the 84th minute? Inside their own 5m. Can they stop the Sharks getting the bonus point? Sharks going for the scrums, where they’ve been superior anyway, and one penalty to the good.
They make a mess of the scrum, but Louw somehow barges over for the 4th try and a final score of 37-20, which looks generous to the home side from here. I’m sure the Middle One would roll her eyes at this analysis.
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@Thaum – Theoretically the smiling or not smiling would be important. I can’t remember whether Ireland smile when they shouldn’t or don’t smile when they should, mainly because whichever they’d done would have been wrong. Having said that she takes a very straightforward attitude which is that she’s from York and that’s in England don’t you know.
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Off to the pub to see the boys prove her wrong.
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Italy 10-6 up against Scotland after 20 in the U20s. Decent so far. Italian forwards rumbling well. Ref with a wry comment: Italian prop runs from the penalty to the lineout spit and then drops to the floor holding his thigh- “so you made it all the way here?” He got up pretty quickly
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Thaum – OTs favourite furry has this to say.
https://twitter.com/sailorrooscout/status/1502269954942550016?s=20&t=rAuYStFZcINc4tygzlQzFg
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Thaum – I guess new variants not being that news worthy is progress.
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Ooh! Italy rumbling to within a couple of metres of the line and contrive to knock it on. Scots penalty from the scrum!
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I’ll watch the U20s on catch up, there are a couple of Son-ofs in the Scotland side, and another new one in the U18s squad, Reuben Logan, son of Kenny and Gabby, back rower with Wasps, is in the Scotland squad announced today.
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Stunning try by Italy! Turnover and quickly down the line, but the last man (replacement, no idea of name) had plenty to do and hit the gap, stepped the defenfer after that and dotted down untouched. Lovely balanced running!
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17-6 Italy with five to HT and a penalty kicked into the 22.
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Helluva try Italy! Quick lineout, bust up the middle, recycle and boom! Oh. Nope. Held up. Bootlaces under the ball apparently. Italy storm back into the 22. A few phases and then coughed it up and Scots cleared. A penalty takes Italy back into the 22. Shit hands by Italy – not for the first time – saves Scotland. 17-6 to Italy at half time.
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Two great anthems there.
Great atmosphere
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So which France has turned up?
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Dumb from the welsh scrum half.
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Fantastic try from France!
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They probably should have stopped play, when Tomos Williams was knocked out. Good try by France though.
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superb rugby from France
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Considering the state of the Welsh line-out (and Biggar’s ability to score points despite probably not being a very nice man), it was a wise decision to go for the 3 points instead of the corner.
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A box kick in the 22, not something you see every day.
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Wales are exceeding expectations. C’MON THE BOYOS!
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Why is Biggar probably not a very nice man?
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Dab – read the ATL!
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Noice from Biggar.
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@Thaum – Middle One is my new favourite.
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She has style, and independent opinion. You have to admire her.
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Well! I think Wales might just do this!
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My eight year old has been very impressed when people kick it a long way or catch it. It’s been an impressive half all round as far as he’s concerned.
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Eight- and nine-year-olds to save us! Even if they have dubious role models.
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Hmmm. We’re sorting of making it difficult for France but they’re often a threat. The ruck is an absolute mess, players clearing out from all sides. Enjoying it.
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Biggar, you lovely cheating bastard.
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The French maul defence has been very good.
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Squeaky keeps saying ‘isolated’. Getting pissed as fuck.
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