Getting to the business end now, so things are hotting up or cooling down, depending on your perspective. Three teams still in it, and away fixtures for the two favourites, so could be a good round of games. Could be.
As the times demand a number of contradictory but yet plausible expert views, the blog’s favourite possibly evil nine-year-old is on board this week to provide the comfort of a second equally valid set of predictions. She also gives her assessment of each team’s most important player. And that would be the one who scores all the points. Won’t win if you don’t score points.
Wales v France
While Friday night Six Nations games shouldn’t be condoned, it does provide a good opportunity for the TV-watching audience to enjoy a match without ruining dinner/missing dinner/having to make alternative arrangements to get children to ballet classes. Some might think Wales will have gained confidence from their showing in the second half at Twickenham, but only being able to score tries when playing desperate catch-up has been a bit of a thing at times under Wayne Pivac, and the first-half wet fart, along with the Dublin débâcle, don’t give much cause for hope. On the flip side, Wales have been dogged as anything in recent home games against the Boks and the Scots, so could just about conceivably grind something out. On the selection front, Pivac has gone full Gats, chucking in Navidi when he’s probably not fully fit, presumably on the basis that it worked with Faletau the other week. Wales also field three out of four players who suffered head injuries at Twickenham. Whilst I’m sure they have all passed the various tests, it does make you wonder if Wales deserve anything this time out at all.
France were absolutely ruthless when it came to taking their chances at Murrayfield, and anything like that will surely mean a big win for them. Dupont has been passed fit, Penaud misses out due to Covid with Villiere returning, and otherwise they’re as you were bar one further bench change. Hopefully Geraint Pillock’s cousin Dylan Cretin will make it on to the field at some point. If we do see them in full flow with the glorious short passing and brute force of the forwards and some sparkling back play, then there will be nothing to begrudge. So can Wales drag them down? France have had off spells in some of their recent games and come roaring back, but could they be due a real off day? Clutching at straws maybe, but anyway:
CMW’s prediction: Can’t be going for three away wins and don’t know which one of the two big games to go for as the upset.
Wales 26-23 France
Middle One’s prediction: Dan Biggar doesn’t always make good decisions – shouldn’t have gone for that drop goal when they could have scored a try against Scotland. He’s always shouting at people so might not be a very nice man. Don’t know who kicks the goals for France, but it’s probably some really super person who never misses.
Wales 21-28 France
Italy v Scotland
The phrase ‘nothing to see here’ could perhaps be used for a lot of Italy’s Six Nations games, but their last outing may well have trumped all previous efforts on that front. Will being on the wrong end of an unfair and pretty arcane part of an unfair and pretty arcane rule that is only necessary because rugby is full of cheating bastards inspire them to great heights? Or will their challenge fade to nothing at the first sign of Scotland being anywhere near on their game? I know which I expect. The Scots will be missing Duhan van der Merwe after a slightly unfortunate sending off playing for Worcester, but with plenty of other exciting runners and their pack likely to dominate this should be a comfortable win.
CMW’s prediction: Italy 13 Scotland 37
Middle One’s prediction: Finn Russell needs to take things more seriously if Scotland are going to win anything, he’s always smiling and laughing even when he’s done something bad. I don’t smile when I’m playing netball and he shouldn’t either. Who kicks goals for Italy? Who knows and who cares?
Italy 17 Scotland 43
England v Ireland
England took advantage of some sloppy Welsh forward play to get their lead last time out with soft penalties and an even softer try, and then didn’t do a lot after that. That said, they had looked good in parts up to the point of not scoring tries during the first fifty minutes or so, and at Murrayfield they also had a lot of the game without capitalising on it. Is there something fundamentally wrong or is it just all waiting to click and if so could this be the day? Considered opinion on Ovally Balls has been that playing two proper flankers wouldn’t go amiss. I had been hoping to see Lewis Ludlow, previously unknown to me though reading around the subject I see that this was probably because he was known as Dinham for a very long time. Sadly Eddie has cast him aside, leaving Curry as the only flanker left in the squad. He’s an injury doubt so we may yet see two number eights and a second row starting in the back row. I had heard that George Ford would be missing out with the apparently not very good George Furbank as the outside half cover on the bench, but see that that was just some training squad shenanigans and Ford is back in, though it wouldn’t be a big surprise to see Smith play the whole game anyway.
Passing over the Italian hooker-based non-event, Ireland’s last game was the defeat in Paris. I felt they might have got a proper hiding if it hadn’t been for Hansen’s skilful but freakish try. However, the comeback in the second half was impressive to the point that they could have gone on to win, so it’s hard to know what to make of that performance. It’s good to see significant Ulster presence in the wider squad; I’m sure they’ll all be there on match day. [Ed: harrumph!] There’s a lot more pace in Ireland’s passing this season, some of the play between the forwards is great to watch, and they look a really good team when they get going. England, though, always have a chance to win at home no matter whom they’re playing.
CMW’s prediction: Can’t be going for three away wins etc.
England 26-19 Ireland
Middle One’s prediction: Marcus Smith is the annoying-looking one who’s always really pleased with himself and has weird hair. Don’t like him though he does score a lot of points sometimes. A boy in my class wants to be Johnny Sexton and seems to support him even though he should be supporting England. Like Johnny Sexton, he plays rugby when he isn’t injured though he broke his collar-bone scoring a try the first time they were allowed to tackle each other properly, so can only play on his own at the moment.
England 27-35 Ireland
Bowwow Woofwoof Grrrr as David Bowie would say.
Plausible Expert Views by ClydeMillarWynant and The Middle One.
Onna telly this week
Friday 11th March
| Sharks v Scarlets | 17:10 | TG4 / BBC2 Wales / Premier Sports 1 |
| Italy v Scotland (U20s) | 19:00 | BBC iPlayer / website |
| Wales v France | 20:00 | BBC1 / S4C |
Saturday 12th March
| Bulls v Munster | 14:05 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Italy v Scotland | 14:15 | ITV |
| England v Ireland | 17:15 | ITV |
| England v Ireland (U20s) | 19:15 | BBC iPlayer / website |
| Ulster v Leinster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Montpellier v Toulon | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 13th March
| Lions v Cardiff | 14:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 | ||
| Northampton v Wasps | 15:00 | ITV / BT Sport 1 | ||
| Stormers v Zebre | 16:05 | FreeSports | ||
| Clermont v Bordeaux | 20:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
Ovally Balls 
I enjoyed 2007 recently tbh. I remember watching the Wales vs Fiji game and being astounded.
The Australia game was nice because they hadn’t booked flights home. The French game was nice because they were the hosts (a feeling that lasted precisely 8 years).
I was convinced we’d win the final. In hindsight this was a mistake. I didn’t learn though.
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For which we’re eternally grateful, CMW. Wales remain a favourite of mine based on my Dad’s stories of rugby there in the late 50s and early 60s. Might be time to revise that given the changes that have taken place.
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Craigs, pretty sure you were convinced in 2019 as well. I for one was ready to welcome my new white-clad overlords (not the ones in sheets carrying burning crosses) and had to watch the match 20-odd times to convince myself we’d won. Almost sure I didn’t post it on here with links every time I did.
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@Deebee – It means I now support you against 50% of realistic potential WC final opponents which isn’t bad going. I might even have supported you against NZ in 2019 as well given that they’d won the previous two, we’ll never know.
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Along with Deebee’s happiness South Africa’s record of stopping something really bad from happening also has to go on the positive side of the register. Might have to think about bumping them up another place with the others not looking as reliable as they used to.
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Deebs – I didn’t learn and if it was tomorrow I wouldn’t know what you were talking about.
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I know there haven’t been all that many, but the only WC knockout game I’ve ever believed Wales were going to win beforehand was the Warburton semi-final.
Lesson learned.
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Cmw – if it hadn’t been the Warburton one it would have been the Stephen Jones one. He absolutely bottled that drop goal.
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Flair – I booked a jeep safari which includes a couple of vineyards but notably Chateauneuf-du-pap. Then we have a Michelin star restaurant in the evening. And then I’ll have no money for the cab home.
Pretty sure I’ve excelled myself there. No pressure on Mrs Craigs for my 40th in July hehehehe.
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@craigs
There’s a Zizzi’s in Sevenoaks.
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@Craigs – If the whole game had been the same without the sending off (which of course it wouldn’t have been) then Jones hitting the post with the conversion attempt and Halfpenny’s penalty going about an inch under the crossbar would be what would stick in the mind.
Priestland’s injury at the end of the semi-final as well of course.
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(quarter final)
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Rugby World Cup finals hold some interest but not too much for me for obvious reasons.
2019 – went to see some children’s theatre with my boy, watched on catch up.
2015 – watched live on TV
2011 – watched a couple of days later
2007 – was at a wedding, nipped out to check on the scores (finally watched the whole game last year on youtube. They had a watchalong with John Smit doing some commentary, worth a look)
2003 – no memory of this one
1999 – watched at a friend’s with him, a French guy and an Aussie. We got drunk quickly as was a one-sided final
Wales – Ireland 2011 is my favourite World Cup match ever.
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How does one safari vineyards?
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By jeep. We’ve already been told this.
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The same way you charter and accountant.
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*AN accountant
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I don’t do either of those things by jeep.
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If you don’t see an elephant and a rhinoceros when visiting vineyards you’re doing it wrong.
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It sounds like the kind of thing they’d cobble together on a desperate episode of The Apprentice. “JOIN US ON A SAFARI OF A VINEYARD!!!! YOU TOO CAN SHOOT LIONS AND PICK YOUR OWN WINE SOUNDS MAD BUT IT’S GREAT LOL !!!!”
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One of the contestants on this year’s The Apprentice (I’m astonished it’s still going) is ex-London Irish player Conor Gilsenan. Dunno and don’t care if he’s still in or not.
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With the exchange rate as it is, the politics of selection, the crime rate etc you can’t really blame the lions for having gone to France. It’s a short career after all.
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Conor got fired after trying to design and sell a toothbrush that looked like a turd.
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“a hard working “corporate panther” who is “hyper-motivated by money”. ”
Should be shot on a vineyard safari in France.
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I think he does want a wizard hat.
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Fucking hell, that’s bad.
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Thaum – I’ll try to get something for you by Thursday. It won’t be as good as The Middle One’s predictions though.
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Yay – thanks, BB! Friday will do fine; I will be in Cornwall on Thurs.
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I’m at the Glasgow/Embra game on Friday so won’t have much time after getting home before I leave for the game. I’ll see if I can do it sooner, but that might mean I won’t have the teams.
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Looks like Nicolas Cage has answered the ‘biscuit question’
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BB – no worries; if it’s easier to send on Thursday, that’s absolutely fine!
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Italy for the win!!
https://twitter.com/joshgardner/status/1503754028643233803?s=20&t=qknMjPz6kJ9h5ngtkUL8AA
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Ot – you can charter an accountant for some deep sea fishing.
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Tempted to start safari tours here:
https://biddendenvineyards.com/
It’s more exciting due to the evasion of security and being thrown out of the shop at the end.
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If you can do a safari in Longleat then you can do a safari in Gigondas.
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@craigs
Rather than do vineyard safaris and all that you should try a tour of all your local fried chicken shops
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Looks weak…
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OT – actually I’d have to travel for that.
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David Meihuizen, the WP/Stormers lock (or McMeihuizen at one stage, when Scotland had their beady eyes on him) has retired from rugby aged 24 with concussion. That is so sad for the guy. Don’t think he was ever going to reach great heights, but when you’re not afforded the opportunity to have a full career playing the game you love, it’s very sad. I just hope that he doesn’t have long-term effects from this and enjoys a full life outside of the game.
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Clive Woodward putting himself forward for another gig?
“They were found wanting and that is the only way to look at this match. There is no Monday morning meeting and England are on the plane home, with Jones once again blaming a referee for his own shortcomings,” Woodward wrote.
“Why? Firstly we had all this pathetic macho stuff from Jones in the build-up about how England were going to play with a physicality and aggression that Ireland hadn’t seen before. Why even go there? Of course it’s going to be tough and torrid up front, it’s England against Ireland at Twickenham for heaven’s sake. It’s a given. It’s that kind of ridiculous rhetoric that probably contributed to Ewels’ dangerous challenge, which was rightly punished with a red card.
He then goes on to get a personal about Jones and his ‘battler’ style blah blah – sure the blazers would approve!
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I prefer Eddie to SCW though whether this would stand the test of Eddie winning a World Cup with England I hope not to find out.
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That word “probably” is doing a lot of work in that sentence.
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He does this very well.
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@OT – It’s ridiculous rhetoric but probably didn’t contribute to Ewels’ dangerous challenge. Of course it’s going to be tough and torrid up front, it’s England against Ireland at Twickenham for heaven’s sake. It’s a given!
He just got some words in the wrong order.
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Am sure Shaun Edwards never does that. Although I think it’s a bit cruel to have subtitles in French when he’s speaking both English and French.
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@OT – There is something weirdly impressive about it though and it being so abundantly clear he’s not a natural linguist may well gain him more respect for his efforts.
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I even wonder if things like that wouldn’t be a worthwhile teaching aid for those who have to convince uninterested teenagers (what’s the point, they all speak English) that their French lessons have any worth. Mr Edwards’ salary being a useful piece of information to go with it of course.
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Important news:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/16/giant-new-zealand-potato-is-not-in-fact-a-potato-guinness-world-records-rules
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