And now, the end is near….
That sounds good. I should put it in a song.
That can wait, though. The real reason you’re reading this gibberish is to find out what the results are going to be on Saturday.
First up, Wales against Italy. Wales have scored 5 tries to Italy’s 4. That makes you think it might be close! Until you realise that Wales have conceded 7 to Italy’s 24. Which is a bit of a problem for Italy. (Nae shit, Sherlock). Italy played better against Scotland than they had in the other games, so is this the time they can back it up with another good performance? Probably not.
Wales have struggled a bit this year. Thumped by Ireland, scraped past Scotland, somehow losing to England despite scoring all the tries and never really looking like they would beat France. So, can Italy pull off a huge shock and get past Wales in Wales?
Let’s ask Predict-A-Bear!
Answer: Nah. Might be closer than expected, but probably Wales by 15.
Next up is Ireland against Scotland. (Sob). This was going to be The Year! The year to end (Way too many to count) Years Of Hurt! A brilliant start! And then everything turned Scottish. A disappointing – to say the least – defeat in Wales, thumped by France, then showing what we can do against Italy, before deciding that things were far too easy and that we should turn Scottish again.
Never mind, it’s only Ireland. The team that has been reinvigorated under Farrell The Elder. The team that beat the All Blacks. The team that thumped Wales, gave France their closest game so far and who managed to be disappointed in only scoring 57 points against 15, 14, 13, 12 man Italy. They have scored 20 tries to our 10, conceded 3 to our 11, Sexton’s on his Neverending Farewell Tour and have the might of Ulster (cheering them on from the sidelines).
So. Any hope for Scotland? Well … Ireland’s scrum looked strangely out of sorts against England. They also seemed a bit too rushed at times. And Finn bloody owes us one! So of course, Toonie sticks him on the bench. But probably none.
But let’s find out from Predict-A-Bear!
Answer: Nah. Much as I would love to be wrong, Ireland will win this fairly comfortably, by about 15 (at least). Can’t see us even getting any sort of bonus point. (Sobs again.)
Finally, the main event! France against England! France at home and going for a Grand Slam against a (fairly) average England team. (I mean, come on, WE beat them!) Eddie’s playing mind games again, although the only people he seems to confuse with these are his players. They have looked fairly toothless in attack (7 tries scored – and they’ve played Italy!), wonder boy Smith hasn’t quite lived up to the hype (but he will), the midfield has a Manu-sized hole (but then it frequently does) and Jack Nowell will probably end up hooking in the front row. And please (don’t) let Joe Marler take more throw ins. On the good side, Maro’s been a right annoying bastard on the pitch.
But France! They have everything: they can play tight; they can be expansive as (cliché alert) only France can. They have the best player in the world, and a few others who would probably be in a world XV, strength in depth and Shaun Edwards as defence coach. They haven’t perhaps scored quite as many tries as their play would suggest and had to tough it out against Wales.
So who will win?
Predict-A-Bear to the rescue!
Answer: A France win and Grand Slam!
Predict-A-Bear whispered sweet nothings into BorderBoy‘s ear.
Onna telly this week
Friday 18th March
| Bulls v Scarlets | 17:10 | BBC2 Wales / Premier Sports 2 |
| Glasgow v Edinburgh | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Newcastle v Leicester | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
Saturday 19th March
| Lions v Munster | 12:00 | RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 2 |
| Wales v Italy | 14:15 | BBC1 / iPlayer |
| Sharks v Zebre | 16:30 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Ireland v Scotland | 16:45 | ITV |
| France v England | 20:00 | ITV |
Sunday 20th March
| Stormers v Cardiff | 12:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Wales v Italy (U20s) | 14:00 | BBC1 Wales / iPlayer / Website | ||
| Ireland v Scotland (U20s) | 17:00 | BBC1 iPlayer / Website | ||
| France v England (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC1 iPlayer / Website |
Ovally Balls 
Semi breaks the line and Bristol lead for the first time this match. 6-10 with 9 mins left.
Raffi Quirk has just gone off injured, having already been subbed on himself for Faf.
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Congrats, Refit!
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Feck. Toulouse over the line.
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Ooh, that’s a nasty in-the-air tackle. Definite red. Barnes agrees.
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that was as clear cut a red card as you’ll see
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BALOUCOOOOOUNE!!!
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Then more fabulosity from Baloucoune, which nearly resulted in a try, but just got stopped.
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Baloucoune’s also made at least three excellent tackles.
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This match is brutal.
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Toulouse up 13-7 at HT despite the man down.
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Barnesy’s French is … amusing. He’s just said, The second scrum. Le douzième mêlée. (Should be la, anyway!)
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McCLOSKEEEEY to BALOUCOOOOUNE!
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Well, that was quite the try.
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Toulouse run it magnificently from deep, but I think there was a knock-on in it. Hope so!
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Or not. Shame.
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Phew!
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I don’t think that is a knock on, it went forward off the knee of the other player
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Went off his arm, Ticht. I thought there was another knock-on later as well.
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Andy Warwick furra line after massive, massive effort! Great defence by Toulouse.
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I’m more nervous now we’re ahead.
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oofya
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BALOUCOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNEEEE with an intercept hat-trick!
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Our Rob gets MotM.
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Ntamack gets another fucking try.
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OH MY GOD.
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Has anyone got a defibrillator?
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ooof!
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Great result Thaum, Ravenhill will be jumping next week
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Ticht – I’m scared. Toulouse are going to be so pissed off.
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Great game in Toulouse, loved the way they fought to the end.
Good ref, clean fight, drama a plenty.
Should be a cracking game next week.
In Bordeaux, LaRochelle smashed Bordeaux in another excellent game.
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Thaum, I think Toulouse will win next week. By enough points? Who knows…. can’t wait.
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Flair – I fear you’re right, but I hope you’re wrong.
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Ulster were good, but I thought Toulouse were more entertaining. Not disputing the result in any way but Id rather have Toulouse going through than Ulster.
BTW why arent Cooney, Baloucoune and McCloskey not with Ireland? Embarassment of riches?
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BTW why arent Cooney, Baloucoune and McCloskey not with Ireland?
Blatant discrimination against Ulstermen.
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Hoggy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Well, them not being with Ireland has kept them fresh for the Hcup!
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All three of them have recently recovered from injury; I think this was only McCloskey’s and Baloucoune’s second match back. Cooney has another match or two.
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Baloucoune played for Ireland in the match against Italy. Scored 2 tries, I think.
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Oh – no, that was Lowry!
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Brilliant try saving tackle from Murray!
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Missed that because I was trying to find Baloucoune’s caps. He has two. First was against the USA last year, and second must have been during 6N, but I can’t find which match.
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Exeter at last this season enjoying the benefits of a fully available pack of forwards
10 -0 at oranges
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Yay! Munster not getting nilled.
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Filthy Exeter down to 13.
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Munster then blow a chance by giving away two daft penalties.
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What a drop goal from Hoggy! Inside his own half?
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Ha! Cracking drop goal.
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But great reply from Munster after Slade JUST misses an interception. But ref is looking at something.
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Slade does an oops and Munster score.
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