And now, the end is near….
That sounds good. I should put it in a song.
That can wait, though. The real reason you’re reading this gibberish is to find out what the results are going to be on Saturday.
First up, Wales against Italy. Wales have scored 5 tries to Italy’s 4. That makes you think it might be close! Until you realise that Wales have conceded 7 to Italy’s 24. Which is a bit of a problem for Italy. (Nae shit, Sherlock). Italy played better against Scotland than they had in the other games, so is this the time they can back it up with another good performance? Probably not.
Wales have struggled a bit this year. Thumped by Ireland, scraped past Scotland, somehow losing to England despite scoring all the tries and never really looking like they would beat France. So, can Italy pull off a huge shock and get past Wales in Wales?
Let’s ask Predict-A-Bear!
Answer: Nah. Might be closer than expected, but probably Wales by 15.
Next up is Ireland against Scotland. (Sob). This was going to be The Year! The year to end (Way too many to count) Years Of Hurt! A brilliant start! And then everything turned Scottish. A disappointing – to say the least – defeat in Wales, thumped by France, then showing what we can do against Italy, before deciding that things were far too easy and that we should turn Scottish again.
Never mind, it’s only Ireland. The team that has been reinvigorated under Farrell The Elder. The team that beat the All Blacks. The team that thumped Wales, gave France their closest game so far and who managed to be disappointed in only scoring 57 points against 15, 14, 13, 12 man Italy. They have scored 20 tries to our 10, conceded 3 to our 11, Sexton’s on his Neverending Farewell Tour and have the might of Ulster (cheering them on from the sidelines).
So. Any hope for Scotland? Well … Ireland’s scrum looked strangely out of sorts against England. They also seemed a bit too rushed at times. And Finn bloody owes us one! So of course, Toonie sticks him on the bench. But probably none.
But let’s find out from Predict-A-Bear!
Answer: Nah. Much as I would love to be wrong, Ireland will win this fairly comfortably, by about 15 (at least). Can’t see us even getting any sort of bonus point. (Sobs again.)
Finally, the main event! France against England! France at home and going for a Grand Slam against a (fairly) average England team. (I mean, come on, WE beat them!) Eddie’s playing mind games again, although the only people he seems to confuse with these are his players. They have looked fairly toothless in attack (7 tries scored – and they’ve played Italy!), wonder boy Smith hasn’t quite lived up to the hype (but he will), the midfield has a Manu-sized hole (but then it frequently does) and Jack Nowell will probably end up hooking in the front row. And please (don’t) let Joe Marler take more throw ins. On the good side, Maro’s been a right annoying bastard on the pitch.
But France! They have everything: they can play tight; they can be expansive as (cliché alert) only France can. They have the best player in the world, and a few others who would probably be in a world XV, strength in depth and Shaun Edwards as defence coach. They haven’t perhaps scored quite as many tries as their play would suggest and had to tough it out against Wales.
So who will win?
Predict-A-Bear to the rescue!
Answer: A France win and Grand Slam!
Predict-A-Bear whispered sweet nothings into BorderBoy‘s ear.
Onna telly this week
Friday 18th March
| Bulls v Scarlets | 17:10 | BBC2 Wales / Premier Sports 2 |
| Glasgow v Edinburgh | 19:35 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Newcastle v Leicester | 19:45 | BT Sport 2 |
Saturday 19th March
| Lions v Munster | 12:00 | RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 2 |
| Wales v Italy | 14:15 | BBC1 / iPlayer |
| Sharks v Zebre | 16:30 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Ireland v Scotland | 16:45 | ITV |
| France v England | 20:00 | ITV |
Sunday 20th March
| Stormers v Cardiff | 12:00 | S4C / Premier Sports 1 | ||
| Wales v Italy (U20s) | 14:00 | BBC1 Wales / iPlayer / Website | ||
| Ireland v Scotland (U20s) | 17:00 | BBC1 iPlayer / Website | ||
| France v England (U20s) | 20:00 | BBC1 iPlayer / Website |
Ovally Balls 
Kinghorn looking OK for a shit 10.
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No fucking support runner for the leprechaun!
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Niiiiice kick from Sexton.
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TRY!
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TRY Healy!
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Each Scottish line-out is more crooked than the last.
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Ireland just too good at battering teams to death once they get into the 22.
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Some good little moments here and there from Scotland, but they follow them up with mistakes each time.
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Schoeman try.
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McSchoeman!
See what happens when we don’t kick the ball away?
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TMO going to take this away?
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Great try Scotland! Needed to stay patient and they did!
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Nope, although he tried hard to.
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TMO did his best, but there was no doubt it was a try!
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Scotland with a similar try of their own. Which they also back up with a mistake.
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Well, I thought we’d be BPed by half time so that is something I suppose
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Well defended to get into half time at 14-5.
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Faster and more precise than Wales vs Italy and yet, less engrossing. Probably all a bit predictable, though excellent from Ireland and a bit less so from Scotland.
Can’t see Scotland winning this.
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Fucking McFuckface! Man’s a menace.
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Stealing balls from brave Ulstermen, grrrr.
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Jeez, Hoggy. Again.
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Schoemann may be taking a long holiday here.
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So that will probably be a red AND we blow a try (thanks Hoggy). Although it probably wouldn’t have counted because of the possible foul play.
TMO trying to go against us again, Wayne Barnes not having it.
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Oh fuck off, Barnesy.
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Good reffing.
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Hogg obviously didn’t watch Wales/Italy.
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Barnes absolutely spot on. Henderson very lucky because he was in an awful position and could have got himself a red if the Scottish player’s arms aren’t lower down. The idea that an attacker can’t look after themselves in that position is ridiculous.
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Hogg, for all his talent, would never be accepted in Toulouse.
Personal greed over team’s work.
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What a game Gibson Parks is having!
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This is pretty rubbish – from both sides. Ireland should be out of site. Let’s get Finn on for a bit of a mess about in the last 20 minutes.
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TRY VdF!
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Sheehan must be playing really, really well, because even I don’t think he should be replaced by the Ulsterman at the mo.
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Yeah, Finn on and Kinghorn to wing.
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… So of course Sheehan is replaced.
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Ye dogs, we’ve been awful today.
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Redemption: Sheehan named MotM.
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BB – I don’t think you have. You’ve been giving us plenty of problems.
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YEEESSS! Murray furra BP.
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So will England do Ireland a small favour?
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Sorry, Scottish friends.
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Deebs – Sure they will, ‘cos England are well-known for doing Ireland favours.
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Well played Ireland. Scotland had more line breaks I reckon than England in the whole tournament, still just annoying errors at the crucial moment. Barnes is a pretty decent ref.
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TBF, Cat never liked Italy as much as he loathed Wales.
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tbh Thaum, not sure if we are known for doing favours for France.
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Nah Thaum, we have been rubbish. Think there have to be some serious questions about this team and coaching team now. Discipline has been awful, we get into good attacking positions and lose the ball, or make silly passes, Hoggy blows a 3-on-1 overlap. We don’t have the power to cope with Ireland. We have good depth in some positions but are very weak in others (time WP was put out to grass, along with Brown). Tellingly, one of the few times we got behind Ireland was just after Finn came on and he put Bennett through. The of course, we bollox up the resulting attack.
Predict-A-Bear’s not happy that he got this one right.
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Well played Ireland. Disappointing by Scotland. Hogg should be hung to dry. Won’t have changed the outcome but still..
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And that sounds a bit churlish, so congrats Ireland. A thoroughly deserved win.
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Hi Dr Cat -hope you are well and ok…………..
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