It’s Christmas in July as the Northern behemoths head south to upside-down-world and a feast of rugby! With this being the last July tour before the World Cup next year in France, there are markers to be put down, there are points to be made and there are matches to be won! Not the usual ‘development tours’ we see, but full-blooded Tests, with a capital T and an exclamation mark to boot. So who’ll be the turkeys (not Türkiye, as they’re not playing anyway), who’ll get a stuffing and who’ll provide the trimmings and the sauce? A veritable smorgasbord awaits:
Romania v Italy
After slaying the Welsh dragon in February, there’ll be a sprightly step in the Italian dressing room before facing off with a Romanian side that lost its last two matches (narrowly to let’s-replace-Italy-with-Georgia, and more convincingly to Spain) to end a decent five match winning streak prior to that. Solid second tier, but not enough to get past Italy, who broke a 36-match losing streak at the Principality with THAT try. It won’t be a canter, but Italy should start their summer series with a fairly comfortable win: Italy by 15 over Romania
Australia ‘A’ v Samoa
Much talk around the improvement of Australian sides in Super Rugby this year, but frankly I’m not sure where that came from. A couple of wins against Kiwi sides masked the fact that they only got one side in the semis and propped up the bottom of the combined table along with the Samoan and Fijian sides. The Brumbies were the only consistent side in Australia, but they’ll have too much depth anyway to field an ‘A’ side that will see off Samoa easily enough. No idea what to expect from Samoa, or who they’ve selected, but history tells us they’ll be blood and thunder for 60 minutes, whilst still getting the wrong end of the scoreboard and cards, and fade away as the superior conditioning and game plan of the Aussies takes control: Australia ‘A’ by 23
Fiji v Tonga
A spicy affair for sure, although Fiji have emerged as the most consistent of the Pacific Island sides in recent years, combining some electric running from all 15 (or 23) players at times, with brutal defence and a set piece that’s better than most of their neighbours. It’ll be fierce, it’ll be fast, it’ll be fun to watch from afar, but ultimately Fiji will have too much: Fiji by 13
Japan v France
Two of the world’s great cultures and two of the world’s great cuisines. Most recent and next hosts of rugby’s great showpiece. Two sides renowned for silky skills and derring-do with ball in hand, but that’s where it ends, I’m afraid. France are building up a fearsome head of steam in the lead up to their home World Cup and have oodles of talent and power in most positions, led by Dupont and Ntamack at 9 and 10, behind a pack that won’t step back for anyone. Japan have been solid recently, with good wins over second-tier sides and running the likes of Scotland, Australia and Ireland relatively close (bar one blowout against Ireland), so they have the wherewithal to mix it with the big boys. However, this is a France on a mission and they should stroll away with it in the end: France by 33
New Zealand v Ireland
One of the most eagerly awaited July series, with Ireland having got the measure of the Kiwis in recent years. But not in New Zealand. Both sides come into the series with question marks hanging over them – the All Black pack got dusted in Dublin and flayed in France last year and they’ve gone with Scott Barrett at 6 in an effort to bolster the lineout and scrum. Worked a treat in the 2019 Semi against England, didn’t it? Ireland’s Leinster-dominated side has struggled against top packs, but they’ll probably fancy they’ve got the wood on the Kiwis up front. The AB backline has suffered some Covid disruptions, but such is the depth of talent in New Zealand, they’ll be fine there. The noises coming out of New Zealand are ominous and they’ll throw everything at Ireland this week. Perhaps overly generous, but it’s New Zealand by 17
Australia v England
Another hugely anticipated match as Eddie’s eagles got their wings clipped in the 6N, amidst rumblings around his sometimes leftfield selections. Australia have been building quietly under Dave Rennie and demolished a Bok scrum last year thought to be their key weapon. The Aussies always bring that mongrel spirit to matches like this and they won’t back down against England’s forwards. It’s an intriguing match-up with England’s centres – as ever – a topic of debate and the backs in general, from 9 to 15, with the exception perhaps of Marcus Smith being anything but nailed on. Both sides are actually a little unsettled and it could go either way, with the match-up between Smith and Cooper at 10 a key contest. Australia will look to run England around the park, whilst England will look to smother the Aussies before letting loose later on. Could go either way, I’m backing Rennie’s Roos to break some hoodoos: Australia by 2
South Africa v Wales
Everyone in Wales apparently thinks the Boks will smash Wales. So does everyone here. Except for the people who think it’ll be a tight, ugly affair. Of which I’m one. The Boks are generally slow out of the starting blocks in the international season and are probably most vulnerable in this first Test. That said, it’s a pretty settled squad, with most of the players in their prime, or near enough. They’ve all played together for a few seasons and so should be settled enough. Wales, on the other hand, have come off a horror 6 Nations, only winning one match and losing to Italy in the final match – but they also got three losing bonus points, so three tight defeats. Whatever the missing links are in the Welsh side, it’s not guts and defence and bloody-mindedness. And the matches between Wales and South Africa have been tight in recent years, so I expect another tight affair, with the Boks perhaps easing away at altitude later on: South Africa by 9
Argentina v Scotland
This has all the potential to be a cracker, with Argentina now under the tutelage of Michael Cheika and with some of the Euro-based players back in the fold. Having stunned the ABs in 2020 and played some fabulous rugby in the process, they slipped back badly in 2021, winning only one match, against Italy. Scotland’s all-new, all-singing, all-dancing style fell a bit flat in the 6 Nations after a promising start and the Scots once again failed to live up to expectations. That said, they have some wonderful, athletic forwards and some serious gas out wide that can blitz most defences on its day. This could be a great match. Would back Argentina’s 2020 version, but not the 2021 version, albeit they’ve changed management and got a few players back: Scotland by 5
Merrily foretold by Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Thursday 30th June
| Scotland v Italy (U20s) | 19:00 | YouTube |
| Wales v Georgia (U20s) | 19:00 | YouTube |
Saturday 2nd July
| Japan v France | 07:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| New Zealand v Ireland | 08:00 | Sky Sports Action |
| Australia v England | 10:55 | Sky Sports Action |
| South Africa v Wales | 16:05 | Sky Sports Action |
| Argentina v Scotland | 20:10 | Sky Sports Main Event |
Tuesday 5th July
| France v South Africa (U20s) | 16:00 | YouTube |
| England v Ireland (U20s) | 19:00 | YouTube |
Wednesday 6th July
| Scotland v Georgia (U20s) | 16:00 | YouTube |
| Wales v Italy (U20s) | 19:00 | YouTube |
Ovally Balls 
CMW – there was much moaning about how bad things have been over the last decade. Who the fuck do they think has been in charge?
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@Thaum – It’s incredible really isn’t it? I can just about believe they get away with it in this sort of thing, but they seem to in more open debates as well.
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“The last time the Conservatives indulged in one of their leadership contests, during the Brexit wars of 2019, I thought it was a bit like that plaster cast victim from Pompeii who looks like he died masturbating.”
The Middle One wrote a rather good poem (well I liked it anyway) about Pompeii recently. Didn’t mention this chap.
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Cmw – must have been an oversight Shirley?
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@Craigs – She tells us:
But it wasn’t noticed
By the people closest
They were just nattering
About what was happening
To the city that they had loved.
Nattering could be a euphemism I suppose, but it seems more likely that they were just nattering about what was happening.
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Didn’t mention this chap.
Best to leave family matters out of poetry assignments.
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Here we go!
Barnesy looking very nervous.
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Gwaaaan
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Ireland get a penalty in the NZ 22 (tackle off the ball), go for the corner, and … TRY!!!!
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Sexton misses the conversion, so 5-0.
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You’re not allowed to push in a ruck now
I’m not going to whine about Barnes all day but he is not a good ref
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Ireland under a bit of pressure for the last few minutes. Weathering it just about well so far. High bombs 💣 from the Kiwis are pretty accurate thus far.
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Read Cat’s tweetathon earlier – brilliant! Sounded a lot like a stream of consciousness recording of Courtney Lawes wondering about Eddie Jones’s training though.
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Penalty to NZ. 3-5.
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3-5 after a J Barrett penalty. Slim pickings for the Kiwis you feel. Irish slipping a couple of first up tackles already. Doesn’t bode well.
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TRY Keenan!!!
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Lovely hands by Ireland.
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What. A. Try! That’s giving the Kiwis a bit of their own with some fabulous handling and stepping! Think we may see a bit more of that tackle too.
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Sexton squeaks the conversion to make the 1000-point club and take the score to 3-12.
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Super conversion! Ireland have absorbed a lot of pressure but they’re doing it well!
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Against my advice, Sexton goes for a long-range penalty, and makes it! 3-15!
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The AB’s lineout is a mess.
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TRY Henshaw!!!!
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I’m amazed at how shit NZ are
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Conversion is good and it’s 3-22!
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Well, I wasn’t expecting that, although I did hope we’d win. Of course, there’s still another half to go.
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I think Irish supporters can be reasonably happy with that
IT, NZ are shit because Ireland have been totally dominant , their defence has been world class over three halfs of rugby now
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Beautiful rugby from Ireland – never thought I’d be supporting Sexton; what a nice guy!
Hooter came just i time, I think.
Things might get ‘tasty’ in the 2nd half – if this carries on I don’t see NZ finishing with 15 on the pitch
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Refit – that’s just what I was thinking!
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Well, it looks like NZ are over, but it’s being checked. If not, they have a penalty anyway.
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Jesus, Savea’s a handful in the tackle.
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Yep, it’s a try. And the conversion is good: 10-22.
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Is he the youngest brother? Don’t think I’ve seen him before?
****exorcises desire to make nailed on joke****
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Ooh, that wasn’t nice from Aki on the NZ 18.
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Can’t believe (I totally can) that they’ve not checked the shoulder directly to the head.
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Corner. Drive. Score. Keep it simple. Hmm. Maybe a little far out for a driving maul!
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Retallick led with his head
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Oh dear. Porter’s off, probably for the rest of the match.
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Yellow! Hm.
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.daft decision
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Can’t see that as red. Correct for me.
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And NZ try!
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17-22 with the conversion. We’re going to lose!
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In real time it looked like Porter was actually standing still and Retallick leaned into him. And the Kiwis are right back into it. A point a minute so far after the break.
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Penalty Sexton! 17-25.
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Deebee – yes, but Porter had his head in the wrong place.
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And breathe! Now get that ball back down the other end!
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Bloody hell, what an inside pass from Savea. And the wheels on Jordan!
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NZ try from down the pitch!
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