After a week of meetings, meals and general bonhomie in Yaoundé, it was time for the drive back to Douala. Mercifully, we didn’t fly and could experience the wonders of the rainforests and music all over again. As well as the increasingly oppressive security, with the elections less than a week away by now. However, our passports were with the driver, so the looks were more of curiosity at seeing South Africans driving hell for leather around the country than anything else.
We arrived in the early afternoon and were met in the foyer of our hotel (back at Akwa Palace) by Mama Denise, the local manager of the South African Airways office to ensure that we had our tickets for the flight – it was well before the Internet and the luxury of checking in that way were around – and that our luggage would be taken care of at the airport, so we could skip the queues and head for the bar on the other side. The flight was still three or four days away, but she was a gem, wanting us to feel reassured. It’s possible Eric, our host, had paid/strongarmed her into a little show so we could see he was an important man, but that mattered little at the time – we now knew we had legitimate, I think, visas and passports, as well as flights organised.
Mama Denise was a charming lady once we got chatting, and invited us to her home for dinner that evening – a wonderful gesture, although complicated by having our bloody minders around us all the time. With nothing to do, I persuaded Eric to take us to a local market so I could buy some tapes of Manu Dibango and other artists we’d listened to whilst driving around, as well as local chocolate, raw cashew nuts, dried plantains and the other things not accessible in South Africa. Apart from the Dibango tapes, I settled for a few ‘greatest hits’ type compilations of some of the artists to be found on this lovely tribute.
The market was an assault on the senses in every way for this raw traveller – it was by turns blisteringly hot and dusty, chucking it down with hot tropical rain, and sullenly humid. Perfect for a few 33 Exports and spicy goat skewers, then. An absolute kaleidoscope of colour – bright, unabashed and vibrant – underpinned it all, but at the same time, looking with less of a touristy naivete, the lack of proper running water at the food stalls, the piles of plastic and other garbage and the lingering smells of lack of proper infrastructure told its own story of poverty and the daily grind to simply put food on tables, roofs over heads and clothes on bodies: no luxuries for the bulk of people here, just the hustle of survival from day to day, whatever your age or gender.
We got back to the hotel in the early evening, with my head still spinning from the afternoon, a million thoughts about the potential of the country, the people, the culture, the abominable political class and everything in between, to be greeted by Mama Denise, loudly telling us, with a wink unseen by the security mob, that she had reserved a table for us at the hotel restaurant for 8pm. We should all meet in the foyer at that time. Privately, she told us to be there at 7pm to evade our detail.
7pm arrived and I sauntered as casually as possible into the foyer, scanning for the security, who mercifully weren’t around. Mama Denise met us and quickly escorted me and two companions into her slightly battered Renault and we sped off into the looming evening. She drove as fast as one can through a city of faltering lights, water-covered potholes and chaotic traffic and we arrived at her home about an hour later. I have no idea where in Douala it is, or even which direction we drove in.
It was fairly modest by the standards of someone who grew up in a privileged environment in South Africa, but warm and friendly with wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. Mama Denise put on a fantastic spread for us with all the favourites I’d been enjoying over the last week on display and much, much more. Her husband and children joined us and we swapped stories and experiences way into the night, before being driven back to the hotel. What a stunning evening, with a charming family, excellent food and music, and truly enriching conversation. A perfect evening! Except for the stony-faced minders waiting at the entrance, with a sheepish Eric in tow. Mama Denise stood her ground as they aggressively demanded to know where we’d been, finishing the conversation with the most gallic of shrugs and a dismissive wave of the hand as she sped off again. Eric was angry and told us in very direct terms to not do that again. Minders pacified, we went to bed.
The following couple of days followed a similar routine as in Yaoundé, with meetings, lunches and political grandstanding. It was our final night and I was fairly exhausted from the trip, which was something I wasn’t used to. One last dinner, I thought. Fuck, wonder if I can make an excuse? But no, I tagged along to a restaurant with a karaoke bar Eric wanted us to try.
Pretty rustic, wooden tables, plastic chairs, low lighting and very basic toilet facilities (for which he kept apologising, as if it was his fault). A tropical downpour ensured we were there for the evening, with large bottles of 33 Export needing to be consumed quickly to stop them from getting warm in the tropical heat. Heaven.
A skinny, lanky and impossibly dark-skinned guy got onto the stage and introduced himself as the karaoke compere. He then played a Sinatra track as I had my back to the stage, chatting to one of our local business partners who had joined us. Problem was, Sinatra had a very Francophone accent every now and then. I looked back and saw this incredible sound coming out of this most unlikely of singers – he was pitch perfect and loving it, as were we all! A few songs in and Eric joined him on stage (again, being Cameroon, it’s quite possible this was, well, staged, for a few dollars, but hey-ho) and they sang together: Dibi Dibi Rek, a song that Ismaël Lô had released a few years before. Eric could hold a tune, for sure, but not like this kid! But the best part was watching a Cameroonian version of Laurel and Hardy belting out tunes in perfect harmony. Dinner, sublime. West Coast sole, spicy rice and plantains. Heaven.
Waking up the next morning, our last in Cameroon, I wandered down to breakfast with a sore head, but fantastic memories. We went through the motions of eating, checking out and heading to airport, me trying to absorb as much as possible still and enjoy the ambiance, Rob and Felix from Gabon complaining about everything, including Eric our fabulous host, and Nomsa from the Tourism Council, who had joined us again after not bothering for a week, dismissive of ‘dirty Africa’ and hankering after Paris.
We checked in, said our goodbyes – mine fond and lasting for years – the others perfunctory and box-ticking, and headed to the airport bar. Had a few more beers, a couple of glasses of wine, chatted briefly to a few guys I didn’t know and got on the plane back to Joburg via Kinshasa and Harare again. It was an uneventful flight, almost too calm after the last couple of weeks, but allowed time for reflection on what a magnificent place Africa is. A rollercoaster couple of weeks that instilled a love and respect for the continent that will always be in my DNA.
Postscript: Eric and I stayed in touch for years after that trip and I saw him a couple more times on trips to Cameroon, but he then moved to Europe, and I think, the States. Mama Denise retired from SAA a few years later and I never got to meet her again. Nomsa is probably in Paris telling people how dirty Africa is and that she went to a swanky school in Paris, whilst Rob and Felix got hold of me a few times asking for favours through my work, but I told them to do one.
Wanderings by Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Friday 14th October
| Ospreys v Stormers | 19:35 | BBC2 Wales / Premier Sports 2 |
| Connacht v Leinster | 19:35 | RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Sale v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Saturday 15th October
| Scotland v Australia (women) | 03:00 | ITV |
| USA v Japan (women) | 05:30 | ITV |
| France v England (women) | 08:00 | ITV |
| Lions v Ulster | 13:00 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Gloucester v Bristol | 15:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Sharks v Glasgow | 15:05 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Edinburgh v Treviso | 17:15 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Cardiff v Dragons | 17:15 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Munster v Bulls | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Scarlets v Zebre | 19:35 | S4C / Premier Sports 2 |
Sunday 16th October
| Italy v Canada (women) | 00:45 | ITV |
| Wales v New Zealand (women) | 03:15 | ITV |
| Fiji v South Africa (women) | 05:45 | ITV |
| Harlequins v Leicester | 15:00 | BT Sport 1 |
Monday 17th October
| Saracens v London Irish | 19:45 | BT Sport 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Whenever someone starts wetting themselves about ‘how great James O’Brien is’, just remember this
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Ticht, I’m well aware of the context and the “toxic” element of it. But were I British I’d despair to hear the opposition chief embrace the toxic “make Brexit work” slogan.
It will never work.
It may take balls to admit a mistake and try to reverse it, but as Sherlock said, once you’ve tried every theory , the only one left, as mad as it looks, must be the truth. Hence the need of a bold statesman and not your everyday politician.
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Hence the need of a bold statesman and not your everyday politician.
And therein lies the problem.
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Flair, according to a poll I read the other day, only around 52% of people think Brexit was a mistake.
There are a lot of people who still haven’t clicked that because it wasn’t the cliff-edge calamity that the stupid Remain campaign claimed it would be, then everything is fine.
It would be electoral suicide for a leader of a party to tell them, “You were wrong, now vote for me”
Labour lost a lot of seat to the Conservatives in 2019, the so-called Red Wall, because these traditional Labour voters had voted Brexit, no one likes to be told they were wrong, so Keir Starmer has chosen to shut down any talk of Brexit, Labour currently have a 34 point lead on the Tories, they don’t really have to do anything just now.
I agree that the parties should be talking about Brexit, but neither really want to – the Tories because they have actually been taken over by a libertarian, Neo-liberal faction who wanted rid of business regulation*, and Labour because it would severely hurt their chances of winning the next election.
*the fact that business have to implement their own regulation at their own cost in order to trade abroad is never really mentioned either
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Surely it will need the passing of 2 or more political generations before Europe is ready to discuss Britain’s re-entry.
Better to take baby steps through trade and co-operation agreements that can rebuild trust.
This can only start after the Cons have gone.
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Slade, I was talking to a friend yesterday, he’s a guitar maker who has seen his costs to European customers rise 20% due to VAT (he does make enough to be VAT registered), this is solely down to Brexit, he is lucky in two ways, he has a full order book stretching out for three years, and he is getting more orders from within the UK.
His hope is that we quietly re-join the customs union and single market – those things that were never supposed to be jettisoned in the first place, I don’t think even fuckwit Farage talked about leaving those, that was never part of the Brexit that people thought they were voting for.
We’ll never get the deal we had, with the rebate and the ability to retain the pound, so I think full membership will be off the cards for a long time to come, but we can ameliorate some of the damage at least
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oops
he DOESN’T make enough to be VAT registered
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Ireland eh? in the EU and just beat England at cricket.
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Covid boosters are being rolled out to us old farts here, I just booked mine for a couple of weeks’ time.
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Had mine a few days ago, Ticht. No side-effects except for a very slightly sore arm for a couple of days.
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Did you get the dual vaccine, Thaum?
My mum had it a couple of weeks ago and it knocked her sideways for a day or two.
I had a big immune response to the first vaccination, it felt like the mother of all hangovers, nothing from the second jab.
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Well, it was a Pfizer, but I asked if it was the dual one, and they said yes. So I am confused, because I thought that wasn’t Pfizer. Didn’t get a card this time to verify.
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This is quite an interesting interview
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@thauma
UK has given 2 bivalent products Conditional Marketing Authorisation:
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/pfizerbiontech-bivalent-covid-19-booster-approved-by-uk-medicines-regulator
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Cheers, OT! I must have missed that in all the political mayhem.
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What a day! I’m going home to have a few large glasses of duel vaccine.
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once you’ve tried every theory , the only one left, as mad as it looks, must be the truth
Does assume that you have a complete list of theories though. What a dumbass Sherlock was.
In other shocking news, my dad finally admitted that his vote to leave was a mistake. If he can change his stubborn mind then there is hope for the rest. However, I think it will take the UK doing much worse than the EU for most people to take notice. At the moment, we’ve had a few fuck ups attributable to 2 people (not by me but this will be the line) which screwed the pound for a bit but inflation isn’t as high as the EU (for example). All deniable by those in power so I think we’ll have to wait about 10 years until everyone feels a bit poorer than our neighours.
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I’m getting my booster and flu jab next Friday (at 13.39!). Mrs BB’s booked hers for the end of November.
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My current duel vaccine is a Cab Sav-Merlot blend. It’s okay. Doing it’s job. No noticeable unpleasant side effects to report.
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I’ve heard the worst of the side affects from that blend come the foillowing day.
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ah – it’s just an 18 hour thing………………….nothing to worry about
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Just found out that I’ve been doing bjj with Jason Forster’s son for the last 6 months.
‘Ah yeah, he’s was captain at Newport for a while like’.
Had to Wikipedia him to find out he has a Wales cap.
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Jason Forster captained the Dragons and got one cap for Wales in the early noughts.
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Whats bjj , or shouldn’t I ask ?
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My brain just crawled out of the gutter and realised ‘bjj’ is Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
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New Zealand over Japan by 18 – something of a ‘B+’ side the Kiwis have picked, with a few new faces and combinations, coming up against a Japan side that hasn’t had much action recently. Probably be a relatively even first 40, but the Kiwis have a decent bench to unload later on. Haven’t seen the Brave Blossoms side, but that’s never stopped me before.
Scotland over Australia by 3 – now that Scotland have ditched the fancy-boy mavericks from their side, they’ll be a proper rugby team. At home and against a side that blows more cold than hot, they’ll sneak it.
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I thought we’d covered ‘bjj’ previously. Soz.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_jiu-jitsu
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NZ by 28. Enough said.
Australia by 7. Now that Scotland have ditched the fancy boy mavericks, they are back to where they were before: great to watch but lack of power and invention will cost them. Finn should at least be on the bench.
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Pretty much same as my picks Flair. Hope Scotland win tho.
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ZIMBABWEEEEEE! Just beat Pakistan by 1 run in the cricket! HUGE result for them, and has them 3rd on the log in Group 2. They’ve now collected 3 points from 4 against SA and Pakistan, so will be quietly bullish about getting a few more – they’ve got Bangladesh, Netherlands and India to come (no idea what order), so will fancy at least 4 more points (weather permitting).
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Gone very quiet , everyone must be off bjjing. For some reason this has been running round my brain, so in honour of the prodigal son returning to the England squad :-
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Finn wouldn’t have been available for this game anyway, however longer-term there is a real problem when one of your few top internationals doesn’t see eye to eye with the coach.
Kinghorn is only 12 months into the move to fly half, but we could well be going into the world cup with him as our first choice 10, I think he has phenomenal potential, he’s still only 25 but has 123 appearances for Edinburgh and 34 full international caps, he’s a very experienced young man.
However, Finn is already the real deal, it’s just not acceptable that the coach cannot find a way to work with him.
As per usual it’s all about the pack, Scott Cummings broke a toe in training, otherwise we are near full strength up front – Rory Sutherland has presumably been retained by Ulster and Johnny Gray will be at Exeter, but I suspect they’d both be on the bench anyway. Rory Darge is proving to be a bit injury-prone, like Ross Rennie before him, a potential world class talent, but the true world class guys seem to stay fit. That’s probably unfair, I really hope he gets a run of fitness, he is heir-apparent to Hamish Watson
We don’t have Hoggy, but watch out for young Ollie Smith at fullback, we are all hoping for great things from him
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The Zimbabwe win over Pakistan has a lovely twist to it as well: Sikandar Raza was born in Pakistan and applied to become a fighter pilot in the air force there, but didn’t make the grade. His family then emigrated to Zimbabwe, and that’s where he began playing cricket seriously for the first time, culminating in him getting capped in 2013 as a 27-year old. Now 36, he says his heroics were inspired by a Ricky Ponting clip that praised both Zim and him in particular. Lovely story!
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Ticht – I remember when Cips fell out with a few coaches. Do you think there is something about Finn that makes him unpopular or do you think it’s something about mavericks being hard to coach?
Clive Woodward was always banging on about attitude in the squad and players being net drains or net contributors to the overall energy so it makes you wonder.
Or (seems likely I’m afraid) Tooney isn’t quite as good at man managing as he should be. Finn seems to do well in France.
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Springbok squad for the EOYT:
Springbok Squad:
Props: Thomas du Toit (Cell C Sharks), Steven Kitshoff (DHL Stormers), Vincent Koch (unattached), Frans Malherbe (DHL Stormers), Ox Nche (Cell C Sharks), Trevor Nyakane (Racing 92)
Hookers: Malcolm Marx (Kubota Spears), Bongi Mbonambi (Cell C Sharks)
Locks: Lood de Jager (Wild Knights), Eben Etzebeth (Cell C Sharks), Jason Jenkins (Leinster), Salmaan Moerat, Marvin Orie (both DHL Stormers)
Loose forwards: Pieter-Steph du Toit (Toyota Verblitz), Siya Kolisi (Cell C Sharks), Evan Roos (DHL Stormers), Kwagga Smith (Shizuoka Blue Revs), Marco van Staden (Vodacom Bulls), Jasper Wiese (Leicester Tigers)
Utility forwards: Deon Fourie (DHL Stormers), Franco Mostert (Honda Heat)
Scrumhalves: Faf de Klerk (Canon Eagles), Jaden Hendrikse (Cell C Sharks), Cobus Reinach (Montpellier)
Flyhalves: Manie Libbok, Damian Willemse (both DHL Stormers)
Centres: Damian de Allende (Wild Knights), Andre Esterhuizen (Harlequins), Jesse Kriel (Canon Eagles)
Outside backs: Willie le Roux (Toyota Verblitz), Makazole Mapimpi (Cell C Sharks), Sbu Nkosi (Vodacom Bulls)
Utility backs: Kurt-Lee Arendse (Vodacom Bulls), Cheslin Kolbe (Toulon), Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu (DHL Stormers)
Notable injuries: RG Snyman, Duane Vermeulen?, Elrich Louw, Lukanyo Am, Handre Pollard, Elton Jantjies (discipline/mental fatigue), Canan Moodie, nobody else springs instantly to mind, so largely first choice squad.
Areas of concern – two very raw 10s, both with question marks still over theme, although Damian Willemse played pretty well in the RC. Centres: More subtlety and creativity in brutalist architecture than those three. Locks: Orie and Moerat are not the best back ups we have, with Ruan Nortje at the Bulls probably better, but he’s in the ‘A’ side to face to Munster and Bristol. Loose forwards are good to go, but both PS du Toit and Siya still have to hit their straps properly, and for extended periods this season. Especially du Toit, who simply isn’t the player he was in 2019.
Glad to see Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu in the squad – eff off Eddie! Manie Libbok was key to the Stormers winning the URC last year, so great for him to get the acknowledgement, even if only because Pollard and Jantjies are out. Personally think Jantjies is now a busted flush, whilst Pollard definitely needs to up his game. Also seems to be becoming more injury prone.
It’s an important tour for the Boks, with the World Cup a year away, and playing three of the top five in the world this tour. Not the end of the world if it goes pear shaped, but it is important to put down a marker.
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Looks weak. Especially with that pudding Etzebeth in the pack.
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Also, why play cricket in a rainy place like Australia?
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Beadles Glaws vs Slades Reformed Racists.
15. Lloyd Evans*
14. Louis Rees-Zammit*
13. Chris Harris
12. Giorgi Kveseladze
11. Santi Carreras
10. Adam Hastings
9. Charlie Chapman *
1. Harry Elrington
2. Santiago Socino
3. Fraser Balmain
4. Freddie Clarke*
5. Cam Jordan*
6. Ruan Ackermann
7. Lewis Ludlow (c)*
8. Ben Morgan
16. Henry Walker*
17. Ciaran Knight*
18. Kirill Gotovtsev
19. Matias Alemanno
20. Albert Tuisue
21. Ben Meehan
22. Jack Reeves*
23. Tom Seabrook*
*denotes academy graduate
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“However, Finn is already the real deal, it’s just not acceptable that the coach cannot find a way to work with him.”
Sounds harsh to say it, Ticht, but if Finn is throwing his weight around, or misbehaving, or refusing to work in the way the coach wants, the only solution is to remove the disruptive element. There is a whole squad to look after. Would be interesting to hear some backroom chatter on the subject.
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Craigs, we’ll be lucky to scrape past Italy with this squad: no Morne Steyn or Frans Steyn, Duane Vermeulen apparently being rested, Willie le Roux apparently not being rested, Am out, a couple of concrete blocks in his place, Big Trev as a starting prop who can barely make 20 minutes without being subbed these days (too many Subs?) PS du Toit as a slower version of Chris Robshaw, Siya Kolisis more likely to be flooding the wing area than the breakdown, at least one of Etzebeth or Wiese to get red carded against Ireland and France, Willemse can’t hit a barn door with a banjo off the kicking tee (or out of hand), Faf hoofing it skyward inside the oppo 22 – probably inside the 5m area too – Marx missing his darts and our wings clattering blokes in the air every match. We’ll be lucky to get into the opposition half at all other than kick offs.
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SA by 50.
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Deebs – should you even be playing Italy at this level? Maybe they could field their A team or even just let the All Blacks play you in Rome.
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I always thought it would be awesome to be an international rugby player but looking at this I’m not so sure:
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Craigs and SBT, I haven’t heard that Finn is difficult to coach, in fact there was a long interview with one of the Racing coaches this week talking about the extra hours Finn puts in after team training, and that’s the thing, because he plays with a smile on his face, people seem to think that’s it’s all a bit of a joke to Russell and it all comes too easily to him – he’s not a “maverick” in that sense, he works hard at his game on and off the park.
He’s not a fly half that has to be hidden in defence, he always makes his tackles in his own channel, okay he hasn’t built a beach body, but I don’t recall seeing him being blasted off the pitch.
He seems to be popular in the Scotland camp, especially with the senior players from Glasgow with whom he has long-term friendships, in fact there were a few of them that went out on the piss in Edinburgh against Toonie’s orders but Finn was the one who was dropped.
I’m not laying the blame solely at Townsend’s feet, there are two sides to the story, I just hope the relationship can be repaired, Finn said in an interview a few days ago that he hadn’t heard from Townsend since the end of the 6N.
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Ticht – sounds like a permanent decision then. Unless Scotland do really crap in the next few months (possible hehe) then he might be out until the next coach comes in.
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Craigs, there are a few variables, he’s out of contract at the end of this season, there are rumours that Racing have lined up Beauden Barrett, or Matthieu Jalibert, some say both, which I really can’t see happening.
Finn and his partner are about to become parents for the first time, she is Scottish too (heptathlete Emma Canning) however they might fancy a couple of seasons getting rich in Japan, they may want to stay in France or move back closer to home or even just walk away from rugby altogether.
OTOH If Finn isn’t in the 6N squad and then the RWC squad, I think it would cost Townsend his job
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Finn could always go back to being a stonemason….
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Finn the Obscure!
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Glos. are the type of opponent for whom I would wish a strong line-up.
Exeter are missing LC-D,S lade, Simmonds and Nowell on England duty, but do start new boy Scott Sio.
Glos.to win…………………………..
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22 – 0 to Glasgow at HT v Benetton, they took a while to get into their stride but are starting to click now with some unfamiliar combinations.
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