Location: World Rugby’s Secret Mobile Headquarters
Attendees: The ‘Independent Judicial Committee’ (three Aussies), Owen Farrell and a high-priced lawyer, Richard Smith KC.
IJC3: Right, cobbers, let’s get started. The arvo’s wasting away. But we think matey’s got kangaroos loose in the top paddock.
Farrell [hanging head, looking penitent]: I’ve brought some refreshments for everyone.
IJC1: Good on ya! Let’s see what you have.
Farrell: I baked these biscuits myself. Well … a mate did.
IJC2: Choccy chip! Our favourite! Mate, these have an unusual and rather pungent flavour, but they’re bloody good. [Munching ensues.]
Farrell: Bit of Australian wine to wash it down, too.
IJC2: Cab Sav! Our favourite! [Slurping ensues.]
Smith [looking at watch, smiling, and counting the ka-ching in fifteen-minute intervals]: My dear chaps, I’m afraid this has all been the most dreadful misunderstanding. Poor Owen has been the victim of the most scurrilous campaign by internet trolls determined to do him down. I’m sure that once you consider that the RFU is the richest and most powerful union in the sport, and that Mr Farrell is key to their success, that you will reverse this terrible ‘bunker’ [said with great distaste] decision.
IJC1: Mate, we’re facking famished. Pass those biccies over again. [Giggles.]
Smith: Please, gentlemen, take your time. Some more, erm, Cab Sav? Delighted to pour for you.
IJC2: Good on ya!
Smith [after a fifteen-minute pause for chewing and slurping]: Shall we review the evidence, gents? If you watch closely, you will see that another player interferes with the trajectory of the tackled player, and that therefore the sad collision couldn’t be avoided by my client.
IJC3 [A vegan who has abstained from the biccies]: That’s not really what happened, mate, and besides, there is no attempt made to wrap the arms. Let’s watch the video.
IJC1: Ahhh ha ha, look at that drongo going down!
IJC2 [weeping with laughter]: what a bogan! Your boy’s just a bit of a larrikin.
Smith: Gentlemen, have another biscuit. Do we have majority agreement that the red card should be rescinded?
IJCs1&2: No worries! [Tittering.]
[IJC3 bangs head on desk.]
Farrell: Just wait till my dad hears of this persecution.
Onna telly this weekend
Friday 18th August
| Bayonne v Toulouse | 20:00 | Viaplay2 |
Saturday 19th August
| Racing 92 v Bordeaux | 13:00 | Viaplay2 |
| Leinster v Ulster (women) | 13:00 | iPlayer / TG4 |
| Wales v South Africa | 15:15 | Prime Video |
| Munster v Connacht (women) | 15:15 | TG4 |
| Lyon v Toulon | 17:30 | Viaplay |
| Ireland v England | 17:30 | RTÉ2 / Prime Video |
| Italy v Romania | 17:30 | Prime Video |
| Montpellier v La Rochelle | 20:00 | Viaplay |
| France v Fiji | 20:05 | Prime Video |
Ovally Balls 
Brilliant Thauma! If a little restrained in your portrayal of Australian debauchery, but never mind.
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Didn’t want to be accused of outright Australianism. Thought one sane one out of three was about right.
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“No matter what happened, he was always leading with the shoulder and not making an attempt to wrap for a legal tackle – so mitigation does not and should not play a part in the decision.
“This is foul play, it’s an illegal charge, it’s not an accident. He’s always leading with the shoulder, he’s made contact with the head and, sorry, he’s got to take the consequences.”
Nigel Owens tilting at the same windmills as yours faithfully, although I beat him to it by some margin. I dread though, that so close to such a supercharged World Cup, that this incident (and WR belatedly finding a backbone – or legal advice on precedence) will throw refereeing into disarray. I hope not.
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Didn’t want to be accused of outright Australianism.
Why? Badge of honour.
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WR really does need to discover their backbone and not undermine the laws or their referees.
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Why? In case Avs is looking in. :-)
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Actually attributed the quote to Owen Wilson first (no, other than red wine, no idea either) but the more you look at the original defence, the more it would be in step with a Night at the Museum argument.
Have the fear for Wales tomorrow. They always give us shit, and we don’t need more injuries before Scotland. Or the All Blacks, to be honest.
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Have the fear for Wales tomorrow.
Relayed this to the mister. He snorted.
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I’ve never heard of Owen Wilson. Apparently he’s an actor.
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Ha! AVS is probably having a lovely toke on a mountain in Colarado with his Native American fishing mate (First Nation?) sagely waiting for Kiwi dominance. May a (light and teasing) avalanche tickle his parade.
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Have I got my Antipodeans’ provenance confused? Shame on me!
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Yer mister is in sync with most of Bokland, but my memory extends beyond the last brandy and coke (down here), so I’ll be a little wary of the shifty bastards. *
* Apologies good Welsh folk.
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Welsh fly-half is having his first cap.
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Nah, they’re all the same.
**** Ducks and runs like hell ****
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I should add that ducking and running is typical scrum-half behaviour.
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Looking at that video again, I think the defence that George knocks him of his line, therefore affecting Owens tackle, actually makes the whole offence worse. If you look at the view from directly behind Faz, he is already lining up for the hit, George nudges Basham sideways, and Owen redirects his hit. He hs plenty of time to do so, and clearly adjusts his angle.
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@SBT watch it in real-time, not slow motion. He got it wrong, badly, and it’s a clear red card as far as I’m concerned, but there is never ‘plenty of time’ in these moments.
Faz got it wrong, the RFU got it wrong in advising him not to hold his hands up, the panel got it even more wrong in overturning the red card, but fuck me, the media circus on this is the wrongest thing of all. I’m with Big Faz all the way.
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good stuff Thaum…………. and may the best (England) team win today
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Manners – thanks for the new post, Thauma, and for keeping this little corner of the internet going! I’ve read the rest of the internet and it’s crap.
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Read elsewhere
Post 1
There are 6 World Cup winners in South Africa’s starting pack v Wales.
There are 5 Dragons’ players in Wales’ starting pack v South Africa.
Post 2
Wow.
I still think SA will probably win tho.
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Cheers for the atl Thaum
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Ulsterman in in under 4 minutes.
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There’s the first try. From an SA forward. Surprising that…
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I don’t think I’ve seen anyone look quite so unenthused, bored even, at scoring a try as Marx did just then.
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Thought it was Kitshoff, then realised it wasn’t!
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Wales take the lead, because Libbok can’t hit the broad side of a barn.
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Wales briefly take the lead, then a brilliant SA try.
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Refit – I’m fairly sure I would have made that shot.
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I thought Le Roux had cocked that up, with the pass to Moodie – wasn’t an easy take for him to score from.
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Harsh card, that.
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And a penalty try!
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Nah, deliberate slap into touch.
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And another one in about 30 seconds!
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Refit – I thought he tried to catch it. Besides, the SA player touched it first.
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Oh, calamity. Mason Grady does a really good job covering a kick behind. Then he loses it into the hands of Kriel, who scores.
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Penalty try – ball hit the SA player on the forearm as he tried to grab it (don’t know how the TMO missed that), but the Welsh player clearly deliberatley knocked it out of play.
Following try – why did the Welsh 12 try to pass the ball while being tackled behind his own goal line?
Also – how many of these SA attacks would have been kicked away if Faf had been playing?
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Kolbe and Kolisi are massively dangerous players. *shudders*
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Doesn’t feel like SA got out of 2nd gear, at any point.
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Well, I thought Dyer was swiping to try and catch a ball bouncing past him in the air while he was moving at pace. Harsh card and penalty try.
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SBT – yes, it bounced off his left arm, and you can see his right arm coming up to try to catch it. But we seem to be very much in a minority!
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Ohhhh dear.
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Well, that was a full-on kick inna baws.
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It’s a massacre.
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The Springboks smell blood is a phrase that Attenborough probably wouldn’t use.
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Costelow looks like a bright spark for the Welsh future.
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Thaum – he’ll be great when he finishes secondary school.
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SA get 50 and Wales another yellow.
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Willemse upright in the tackle, it’s going to the tmo.
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Yellow & review for Willemse.
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