Location: World Rugby’s Secret Mobile Headquarters
Attendees: The ‘Independent Judicial Committee’ (three Aussies), Owen Farrell and a high-priced lawyer, Richard Smith KC.
IJC3: Right, cobbers, let’s get started. The arvo’s wasting away. But we think matey’s got kangaroos loose in the top paddock.
Farrell [hanging head, looking penitent]: I’ve brought some refreshments for everyone.
IJC1: Good on ya! Let’s see what you have.
Farrell: I baked these biscuits myself. Well … a mate did.
IJC2: Choccy chip! Our favourite! Mate, these have an unusual and rather pungent flavour, but they’re bloody good. [Munching ensues.]
Farrell: Bit of Australian wine to wash it down, too.
IJC2: Cab Sav! Our favourite! [Slurping ensues.]
Smith [looking at watch, smiling, and counting the ka-ching in fifteen-minute intervals]: My dear chaps, I’m afraid this has all been the most dreadful misunderstanding. Poor Owen has been the victim of the most scurrilous campaign by internet trolls determined to do him down. I’m sure that once you consider that the RFU is the richest and most powerful union in the sport, and that Mr Farrell is key to their success, that you will reverse this terrible ‘bunker’ [said with great distaste] decision.
IJC1: Mate, we’re facking famished. Pass those biccies over again. [Giggles.]
Smith: Please, gentlemen, take your time. Some more, erm, Cab Sav? Delighted to pour for you.
IJC2: Good on ya!
Smith [after a fifteen-minute pause for chewing and slurping]: Shall we review the evidence, gents? If you watch closely, you will see that another player interferes with the trajectory of the tackled player, and that therefore the sad collision couldn’t be avoided by my client.
IJC3 [A vegan who has abstained from the biccies]: That’s not really what happened, mate, and besides, there is no attempt made to wrap the arms. Let’s watch the video.
IJC1: Ahhh ha ha, look at that drongo going down!
IJC2 [weeping with laughter]: what a bogan! Your boy’s just a bit of a larrikin.
Smith: Gentlemen, have another biscuit. Do we have majority agreement that the red card should be rescinded?
IJCs1&2: No worries! [Tittering.]
[IJC3 bangs head on desk.]
Farrell: Just wait till my dad hears of this persecution.
Onna telly this weekend
Friday 18th August
| Bayonne v Toulouse | 20:00 | Viaplay2 |
Saturday 19th August
| Racing 92 v Bordeaux | 13:00 | Viaplay2 |
| Leinster v Ulster (women) | 13:00 | iPlayer / TG4 |
| Wales v South Africa | 15:15 | Prime Video |
| Munster v Connacht (women) | 15:15 | TG4 |
| Lyon v Toulon | 17:30 | Viaplay |
| Ireland v England | 17:30 | RTÉ2 / Prime Video |
| Italy v Romania | 17:30 | Prime Video |
| Montpellier v La Rochelle | 20:00 | Viaplay |
| France v Fiji | 20:05 | Prime Video |
Ovally Balls 
England don’t actually look terrible, like the last couple of weeks. But they do look a level below Ireland.
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Aki has passed his hia.
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Murray? Rubbish. Boooo!😋
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Refit – that was dire! And now an English try. Boooo! ;-)
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England do a try.
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I think we deserve a try, but not to win.
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That was a lovely score from Earls.
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Now that’s a try to score on your 100th cap!
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Yay Keith! (WordPress is going to say I’ve said this before if I don’t add something.)
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Oof, Italy have humped Romania 57-7.
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You know, when Hartley stops trying to be funny, he’s not terrible on comms.
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Phew thats a relief.
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England looked miles better than the last two weeks. And they looked much more dynamic and effective when Billy went off.
Good win by Ireland although, like SA, they never looked like they really got into a high gear.
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“miles better” but still relatively poor / stodgy. Outlook – grim.
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Slade – oh yeah, don’t mistake my words for thinking they were good. Just a level up from absolute dogshit.
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England were much improved and, again, played better with fewer players.
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Or rather, played better without those SPECIFIC players? Billy V continually gets stopped on the gainline now, rarely breaks it, and Farrell ain’t a running number 10. (Unless he’s running towards you to ‘tackle’ you).
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BB – perhaps! But there’s often a greater esprit de corps that takes hold when a team goes down by one (never mind three) player.
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Think England went straight to corps and missed out on the esprit bit.
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It will be interesting to see how Fiji go. They could be a banana peel for someone.
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BB – ha! Indeed.
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Gwan Fiji!
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France have just scored their second, but Fiji had previously been doing a pretty good job of containing them.
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21-10 at HT.
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This is a lot of fun.
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Fiji score again! They are actually looking quite scary.
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Oooh, that might have been short. But apparently not!
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Refit – it is fun! Two teams with similar styles: both like attacking play in a broken field. A pleasure to watch.
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The Fijians look to be blowing hard. So to speak.
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Fiji playing England next week. That could be interesting.
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Well, that was a joy to watch. 34-17 in the end. A second-string French side for sure, and Fiji tiring at the end, but some wonderful rugby.
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That was an enjoyable game, fast and furious, yet no niggles, no even a YC. And no injury.
So, it is possible after all. The sight of Botia and Atonio at the end says it all. A fierce game to be enjoyed with the utmost respect for the opponent. I hope that’s the spirit that will prevail next month .
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Gutted for the Lionesses, but it’s great to have an England team to watch who play for each other so hard.
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Dab – it has given us this though
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@Refit – an iconic moment!!
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@thauma – nice ATL. I feared when I saw 3 Australians it would be a fiasco.
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Byrne brother or Frawley at 10
Ross is too unathletic for this level…. 1/4 with kicks…. his resurrection was based on kicking an awkward pen to win the AI vs Aus in a 10 min cameo where he also knocked on and gave a forward pass…
Harry – went on the NZ tour but missed the whole thing due to injury and hasn’t torn up any trees for Leinster
Frawley – Leo and Stu don’t trust him in any significant game for Leinster and when they did – missed a straightforward conversion vs Munster in URC final. Doesn’t look like a 10 – more suited to 2nd playmaker role (and Hansen does that better)
I’m biased but Crowley is a better #2 to Sexton and if Sexton is unavailable then should start. Healy would be better than any of the above….
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England don’t actually look terrible
@refit
I saw 2nd half of 1st Eng vs Wales game …and they were awful. How bad was last week? Yesterday was poor. Ireland were no great shakes either … but I never thought there was any chance England might win….
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looked much more dynamic and effective when Billy went off
Agree in this much…. not sure what that says…
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Galthié just named his 33 players. No major surprise. Jaminet in instead of Dulin, Couilloud instead of Serin, the inclusion of a bolter, Bielle-Barrey and two injured players, Baille who can’t play before the QFs and Jelonch who hasn’ t been tried yet, as he did his cruciate only 6 months ago. Full strenght besides Ntamack’s absence. Hopefully no new injury vs Australia next Saturday , or is it Sunday?
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Apparently this is the first World Cup this millennium not featuring Sergio Parrise.
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…….. yet!
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Boks continue with the mix ‘n match approach for the Test against New Zealand on Friday:
15 Damian Willemse, 14 Kurt-Lee Arendse, 13 Canan Moodie, 12 Andre Esterhuizen, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Manie Libbok, 9 Faf de Klerk, 8 Duane Vermeulen, 7 Pieter-Steph du Toit, 6 Siya Kolisi (captain), 5 Franco Mostert, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Frans Malherbe, 2 Malcolm Marx, 1 Steven Kitshoff
Substitutes: 16 Bongi Mbonambi, 17 Ox Nche, 18 Trevor Nyakane, 19 Jean Kleyn, 20 RG Snyman, 21 Marco van Staden, 22 Cobus Reinach, 23 Willie le Roux
Canaan Moodie moves to outside centre, where I don’t think he’s ever played before, linking up with Andre Esterhuizen in midfield. Potentially a helluva midfield combo, just perhaps not against the All Blacks! Same front row, which has now started the bulk of Tests this year, but a new 2nd row with Etzebeth partnering Mostert. Vermeulen back at 8 – like that. Mapimps needs a big game to stay in contention with Kolbe, Arendse and Moodie all ahead of him now.
Willemse starting at 15 offers plenty on attack and decent defence and kicking from hand (usually), whilst it’ll be interesting to see if Faf kicks everything not in a Black jersey or if he gives Libbok good, quick ball to weave his magic with.
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Tonga squad for the World Cup announced. Notably, Israel Folau didn’t make it, if only because of injury.
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Speak of the devil
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Been a little anonymous lately, apologies. I’m in Tanzania at the moment and just conquered Kilimanjaro! An amazing sight! Well, I should say A Kilimanjaro, although to be fair it was a large bottle of lager. Probably go for a Safari or Ndovu next, although may have to slow down if I’m to get to the revolving restaurant overlooking the city and port and not get thoroughly discombobulated.
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Show off!
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Where the hell’s the result of today’s two trials, eh?
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https://www.bbc.com/sport/rugby-union/66581854
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