Location: World Rugby’s Secret Mobile Headquarters
Attendees: The ‘Independent Judicial Committee’ (three Aussies), Owen Farrell and a high-priced lawyer, Richard Smith KC.
IJC3: Right, cobbers, let’s get started. The arvo’s wasting away. But we think matey’s got kangaroos loose in the top paddock.
Farrell [hanging head, looking penitent]: I’ve brought some refreshments for everyone.
IJC1: Good on ya! Let’s see what you have.
Farrell: I baked these biscuits myself. Well … a mate did.
IJC2: Choccy chip! Our favourite! Mate, these have an unusual and rather pungent flavour, but they’re bloody good. [Munching ensues.]
Farrell: Bit of Australian wine to wash it down, too.
IJC2: Cab Sav! Our favourite! [Slurping ensues.]
Smith [looking at watch, smiling, and counting the ka-ching in fifteen-minute intervals]: My dear chaps, I’m afraid this has all been the most dreadful misunderstanding. Poor Owen has been the victim of the most scurrilous campaign by internet trolls determined to do him down. I’m sure that once you consider that the RFU is the richest and most powerful union in the sport, and that Mr Farrell is key to their success, that you will reverse this terrible ‘bunker’ [said with great distaste] decision.
IJC1: Mate, we’re facking famished. Pass those biccies over again. [Giggles.]
Smith: Please, gentlemen, take your time. Some more, erm, Cab Sav? Delighted to pour for you.
IJC2: Good on ya!
Smith [after a fifteen-minute pause for chewing and slurping]: Shall we review the evidence, gents? If you watch closely, you will see that another player interferes with the trajectory of the tackled player, and that therefore the sad collision couldn’t be avoided by my client.
IJC3 [A vegan who has abstained from the biccies]: That’s not really what happened, mate, and besides, there is no attempt made to wrap the arms. Let’s watch the video.
IJC1: Ahhh ha ha, look at that drongo going down!
IJC2 [weeping with laughter]: what a bogan! Your boy’s just a bit of a larrikin.
Smith: Gentlemen, have another biscuit. Do we have majority agreement that the red card should be rescinded?
IJCs1&2: No worries! [Tittering.]
[IJC3 bangs head on desk.]
Farrell: Just wait till my dad hears of this persecution.
Onna telly this weekend
Friday 18th August
| Bayonne v Toulouse | 20:00 | Viaplay2 |
Saturday 19th August
| Racing 92 v Bordeaux | 13:00 | Viaplay2 |
| Leinster v Ulster (women) | 13:00 | iPlayer / TG4 |
| Wales v South Africa | 15:15 | Prime Video |
| Munster v Connacht (women) | 15:15 | TG4 |
| Lyon v Toulon | 17:30 | Viaplay |
| Ireland v England | 17:30 | RTÉ2 / Prime Video |
| Italy v Romania | 17:30 | Prime Video |
| Montpellier v La Rochelle | 20:00 | Viaplay |
| France v Fiji | 20:05 | Prime Video |
Ovally Balls 
Billy V’s result tomorrow.
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Tout le monde et son chien know that Farrell’s ban is about right and yet it will be a shitstorm on the so called “social” networks.
All this could’ve been avoided yonks ago had he properly served the bans he should’ve received. Yes, a lot of “ifs”…
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Given his previous record, four matches is a bit light, non?
At least it’s something.
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Well, 4 certainly light, and not to mention he sat out last weekend voluntarily, so that shouldn’t be included in the ban. Personally, I think he should be made to play Fiji before starting his ban.
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Thaum, about right doesn’t mean perfect. I’d ve given him 10 weeks. Tackle school? Mon cul, as they say around here.
Just hope Moala and all get the same kind of leniency.
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Just finished lunch (as one does at 4pm) of traditional Tanzanian roast pork overlooking the southern tip of Lake Victoria. A mere 400km or so north is the northern shore of the lake. Bit far for an afternoon swim. Substantial piece of water this, roughly the same size as Ireland.
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Now just a six hour wait at a tiny airport with bugger all to do until we fly back to Dar es Salaam. On the way up this morning flew past Kilimanjaro, Mount Meru, Ngorogoro Crater and the Serengeti on our way to Mwanza. Spectacular! Except didn’t see any herds of animals from that height. Must have a word the powers that be. Tou then fly over a tiny bit of the lake to land, but as you can’t see land at all, it’s like flying over the ocean.
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Until you come in to land, obviously. The runway (as does the one at Entebbe in Uganda) starts literally a few metres from the shore.
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traditional Tanzanian roast pork overlooking the southern tip of Lake Victoria
I am impressed by the specificity of this dish, and its concern for the pig’s view.
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I think the pig actually had its eyes shut.
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You won’t believe what happens here
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Bloke makes a film of himself throwing stuff at a watch ?
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Oh. When I saw the thing about filmmakers being magicians, I thought someone had managed to create a film showing Owen Farrell tackling properly.
Obviously, nobody’s THAT good.
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Had a late flight out of Mwanza last night, so we got to the airport well before our flight and found a nice cool lounge, cold beer and food. And waited. And waited. Flight eventually took off after midnight, got back to the hotel in Dar after 2am and my room hadn’t been made up. Too tired to argue the toss, and with a nasty dose of flu to boot, just crashed and got up with about 3 hours of broken sleep and off to our first meeting. It’s hit and humid today and my head is pounding. Still have theee more meetings before we head back to the airport and fly to Nairobi. Not always scenic lunches and cold beer on my travels!
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* hot and humid, even.
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Deebs:
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It’s all OK, Jonny May is back.
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Would rather it was instead of someone other than Watson tho, I would have had Watson and May on the wings from the get go, the pair of them are very solid defensively, way more so than any other option.
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Just for reference, the Telegraph has Watson out of the world cup with injury, no further details.
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Confirmed in the Graun, calf injury.
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Ulsterman Tom Stewart getting his first start, and Ulsterman Iain Henderson captaining! Also The Best centre combination, and two more Ulster forwards on the bench.
Ireland (v Samoa):
(Province/Club/Caps)
15. Jimmy O’Brien (Leinster/Naas)(6)
14. Mack Hansen (Connacht/Corinthians)(15)
13. Robbie Henshaw (Leinster/Buccaneers)(64)
12. Stuart McCloskey (Ulster/Bangor)(13)
11. Keith Earls (Munster/Young Munster)(100)
10. Jack Crowley (Munster/Cork Constitution)(5)
9. Conor Murray (Munster/Garryowen)(106)
1. Cian Healy (Leinster/Clontarf)(124)
2. Tom Stewart (Ulster/Ballynahinch)(1)
3. Finlay Bealham (Connacht/Buccaneers)(31)
4. Iain Henderson (Ulster/Academy)(captain)(73)
5. Tadhg Beirne (Munster/Lansdowne)(40)
6. Ryan Baird (Leinster/Dublin University)(12)
7. Josh van der Flier (Leinster/UCD)(51)
8. Caelan Doris (Leinster/St Mary’s College)(30)
Replacements:
16. Rob Herring (Ulster/Ballynahinch)(36)
17. Jeremy Loughman (Munster/Garryowen)(2)
18. Tom O’Toole (Ulster/Ballynahinch)(10)
19. James Ryan (Leinster/UCD)(54)
20. Peter O’Mahony (Munster/Cork Constitution)(95)
21. Craig Casey (Munster/Shannon)(11)
22. Ross Byrne (Leinster/UCD)(20)
23. Garry Ringrose (Leinster/UCD)(51).
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Have we covered the new assistant coach for the Wallabies?
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Thaum, I’ll try to send you photos from that game in Bayonne. Gutted that Cooney doesn’t make it ahead of Murray. Not enough Ulstermen. Samoa by 40!
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Might as well send some text to accompany the photos, Flair! :-)
I don’t have any bright ideas for an ATL for the weekend.
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Will do. Though I won’t be able to document the best part of the fun. I’ll be with my 8 yo nephew, so it will be hard to track the Irish contingent in the old city of Bayonne after the game (the French usually don’t drink during the games, which they try to watch, but later).
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Has anyone set a prediction game for the RWC?
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Flair – sent you a ‘Bru mail.
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Thanks Refit.
Awaiting Claw now. ( sounds like a play).
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A Hiberno-French one, at that!
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The Best centre combination
Do you really think so – I’d have Aki + 1
Defensively, Henshaw and Ringrose are good – not much creativity there
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the French usually don’t drink during the games, which they try to watch
I wish that could catch on here – to be truthful, it’s worse at the Aviva than Thomond. That might correlate with the fact that an international is seen as “a big day out”.
I’d say at Thomond a lot of the crowd are local, so can drink locally – plus the Cork contingent are probably driving….
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Trisk – Aki is a penalty machine, and has his fair share of fumbles too.
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Hang on – Flair, when is the match in Bayonne? I was thinking it was one you’d already been to.
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In today’s Graun article on English rugby (because no other team from these islands plays the game), Ugo seems to have been watching a different England side from me….
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/aug/25/england-can-go-far-rugby-world-cup-attack
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BB – I’m laughing at the headline shown in the URL.
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Thought the NZ and SA game was part of this Summer Series and would be on Prime. Apparently not.
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Nope. Sky has it.
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I’m watching it here: https://www.vipbox.lc/new-zealand-vs-south-africa-1-live
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5mins and the ABs are already on a warning for repeat penalty infringements on their own line.
They’ve sorted it and turned over the maul.
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Wasted chances by the Boks! But they’re playing the match in the right area.
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ABs looking a little flustered at the moment.
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10mins, ABs on a final warning. Yellow card on the next ping on their line.
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FFS! You really can’t have this dominance and not score against the Kiwis!
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That said, it doesn’t look like we’ll be 17-0 down after the 1st quarter.
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Yellow for Scott Barrett – playing the 9 at the ruck.
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Ooh, Lomax, the NZ t-h, is going off on a stretcher.
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Bout time! Sir Ruchie didn’t give his invisibility cloak to the next generation.
Shit, hope Lomax is off as a precaution.
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C’mon Bokke, we need a try here!
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Looks like Lomax got trampled and his knee has been opened up.
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Cane in the bin now – side entry at the maul. They’re down to 13.
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