And so the first weekend of battle dawns. Time to toss away the sparring, the jousting, the throwing down of the gauntlet and deferential soundbites. It’s here. It’s now. And it’s gonna be one helluva opening weekend! A massive match to open with and some potentially pool-defining Tests on the first weekend make this a crucial, nail-biting and brilliant opening to hopefully the best World Cup yet. And so to your humble scribe’s even humbler predictions:
FRIDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER, POOL A, Stade de France, Saint-Denis
FRANCE vs NEW ZEALAND: Pour a good glass of Bordeaux Blend for this one! A truly heavyweight clash to open the tournament with! Both sides among the overall favourites, although with mixed results in the run in, as well as injury concerns, especially for France. The home side will be swept along on a wave of passion, emotion and fervour, playing with that ‘extra man’ behind them – but keeping that emotion properly bottled and channelled will be key to seeing off a Kiwi side smarting from a thumping against eternal enemies, South Africa. Will it galvanise the Kiwis? Damned right it will. Do they have the personnel and plans to make it count? Damned nearly – still some question marks over the physicality of the pack, with a fairly callow front row and Sam Whitelock behind them past his (considerable) peak. Not a back row for the ages either. France, disrupted by injury, still have a formidable side from 1 to 15 and will be confident of taming the Kiwis.
Prediction? France by a handful. Don’t forget to put the bottle in the recycling bin.
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL A, Stade Geoffroy-Guichard, Saint-Étienne
ITALY vs NAMIBIA: Chianti or Windhoek Lager? Since the Bordeaux Blend is long gone, maybe both. From the highs of the opening clash, to a more mundane and routine match in the same pool. An Italy side that has shown great improvement in the last couple of years (Georgia in for Wales in the 6N etc etc!) won’t be troubled by the Southern Africans, coached by ex-Bok mentor Allister Coetzee. A few of the Namibians have Super Rugby and European experience, notably hooker Torsten van Jaarsveld, but they’re not a side bristling with top players. Expect Italy to keep their powder dry for bigger matches to follow, but still have far too much in the tank for the willing Welwitschias.
Prediction? Italy by 25 or more. 1 bottle of Chianti and a case of Windhoek equals 25. Just stick to that.
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL B, Stade de Bordeaux, Bordeaux
IRELAND vs ROMANIA: A lovely Guinness to wash away the wine and settle in for the afternoon. World number 1 Ireland, on a 13-match winning streak and with one of the more settled squads in the tournament (despite a couple of late withdrawals), won’t be expected to sweat too much against a willing but limited Romania. Romania were thumped in all three warm up matches, with both Italy and Georgia putting 50 on them, and even a weak USA beat them handily. Ireland can afford to put out a reserve side and still win with ease in the easiest of their pool matches. The biggest question is whether Sexton starts (or plays a cameo off the bench), or whether the Irish talisman is wrapped in cotton wool for the more testing fixtures to come.
Prediction? Ireland by as many as they want, really. Sounds like the drinking habits of your average Dubliner, too – join in!
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL C, Stade de France, Saint-Denis
AUSTRALIA vs GEORGIA: Chacha is a Georgian pomace brandy, clear and strong (thanks Wiki), and way better than that 4X piss or Hardy’s slop. Have a double. Each half. The first banana skin match of the World Cup? Australia have had an abysmal season thus far, losing five on the bounce. Not a single try-scoring bonus point in the Rugby Championship for a side supposedly with attacking flair, and only one losing bonus point. They’ve been pretty rudderless under Eddie ‘Cat Bounce’ Jones, who has ditched a number of senior players for youth and good old Aussie derring-do. Nick White says Samu Kerevi is back to full fitness and knocked him about in training, something we’d all like to see a bit more of, but will Australia be able to pick up the pieces against a Georgian side that has lost only once since their epic win over Wales last November? True, Scotland put 33 points on them in the second half of their last match, but they led 6-0 at the break, showing great resilience in the first half, before blowing out.
Prediction? Australia to do the same as Scotland and pull away in the second half – but only by 15 or so. Parched throat? No problem – another match on the way.
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL D, Stade de Marseille, Marseille
ENGLAND vs ARGENTINA: A warm tin of Carling or the delights of a Chacra Pinot Noir Patagonia Cincuenta y Cinco? Lob the Carling at the neighbours’ noisy dog and pull the cork! Another potential banana skin to follow the previous match? I doubt it. England don’t have the wherewithal to cause an upset. It’s been a mixed bag for Argentina this year, getting stuffed by the All Blacks and Boks in Argentina, but beating Australia away and losing by a single point to the Boks in SA. A rampant final warm up against Spain means little. However, Argentina have a better pack than England in almost every department and should boss the set piece and breakdown – which has been England’s Achilles’ heel for a while now. They’ve also got backs who on their day can rip just about any defence to pieces, and I reckon they’ve been targeting this match since they beat England at HQ in November. England’s travails in the lead up to the World Cup are well documented, from a stodgy pack and little guile behind it, to disciplinary issues for key players and seemingly little in the way of an evolving gameplan. With both sides having discipline issues, it may well come down to who finishes with the most players on the pitch.
Prediction? Argentina by up to 10. Don’t trip on the way to the kitchen for a refill!
SUNDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER, POOL D, Stadium de Toulouse, Toulouse
JAPAN vs CHILE: Clear the slightly fuzzy head with the Yamazaki Single Malt, followed up with a Viña Casa Silva “Microterroir de Los Lingues” Carménère Colchagua Valley 2011. Great start to a Sunday! Japan ripped up the formbook and sailed into the hearts of the rugby world at the last World Cup on home soil, until they met the unsmiling orcs of the Boks. They played with verve, dash, courage and spirit, and no small amount of breathtaking skill. However, they’re not that side this year. A single win over Tonga in four warm up matches, with a narrow loss to Samoa followed by heavy defeats to Fiji and Italy speaks of side not coping with physical teams. However, they come up against a Chile making their World Cup debut – good on them – and who lost all three of their warm up matches, against Uruguay, Namibia and an Argentine Select side. All three losses were narrow, however, and they scored 26 points in each match – if they do that, it could be enough for a famous opening weekend win.
Prediction? Japan to win an entertaining, high-scoring match by a score or two in the end. Don’t have a whisky for each Japanese score, if you can remember.
SUNDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER, POOL B Stade de Marseille, Marseille
SOUTH AFRICA vs SCOTLAND: Stellenbosch Red, Hermanus Chardonnay, or Paarl Shiraz? Probably brandy and coke to get through this one, followed by a couple of drams of Glenmorangie or Macallan Rare Cask. A huge match in the context of the Pool of Death, pitting the 2nd ranked Boks against the 5th ranked Scots, both of whom have to face the 1st ranked Irish later in the pool. The Boks got mugged in Auckland by the Kiwis, conceding 17 points in as many minutes and not being able to claw that back. They won the rest of the match 20-18, but that counts for nothing. Convincing, powerful wins over Australia, Wales, Argentina and THAT match at Twickers against the All Blacks have seen the Boks emerge as one of the favourites. However, they struggled to contain a fired-up Argentina at Ellis Park, winning by a point – luckily so in the view of many here – and Scotland will have taken note. The Boks have huge forward power, starting and off the bench (Duane Vermeulen benched for Jasper Wiese, to the shock of many), and also have some scintillating outside backs. But the coaches have gone for de Allende and Kriel in midfield, which is the least inspiring combination, although probably the most defensively solid. Scotland will have noted the two diminutive wingers up against McDuhan and McSteyn and will probably pepper them. In Finntastic Russell they have the best 10 at the World Cup, and if the Boks allow him to dictate, it could be a long afternoon for the big boys in green.
Prediction? Heart says Boks by 10 or more, head says anything is possible, fear is kicking in BIG TIME. Check the score on Monday after calling in sick.
SUNDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER, POOL C, Stade de Bordeaux, Bordeaux
WALES vs FIJI: Penderyn Whiskey (no jokes about Welsh Brains here please) or Bounty Rum? Why, I’ll have a couple of each, thanks! A potentially fantastic match to round out the weekend with, as a Wales that are in as much strife as their neighbours across the Afon Hafren, come up against a Fiji side popping and bouncing after their win against England at Twickenham. They did get dusted by France the week before that, but have only that loss in a run of strong wins against Samoa, Japan and Tonga in the run in. Fiji have a strong squad, based on their Super Rugby outfit, but with some real aces from the European leagues too – Bill Mata, Semi Radradra, Waisea Nayacalevu, Temo Mayanavanua and Sam Matavesi to name a few. The loss of two front line 10s is a major blow, but such is the nature of Fijian rugby, you can put a 130kg prop at first receiver and still get a magical backline move! Wales shared the spoils in two lousy matches against England, before being demolished by the Boks in their last hit out before the World Cup. Fiji showed against England that their traditional weakness at set piece has improved, and this may well be a weekend that Welsh fans hide behind the sofa pining for the days of playing only the Western part of Samoa!
Prediction? Fiji, just, against a Welsh side that spoils for an arm-wrestle. Go to bed, if you can make it, or just sleep on the floor and hope the missus/mister is understanding. You’ve got four days before the next lot.
Refreshment recommendations by Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Friday 8th September
| France 27 – 13 New Zealand | 20:15 | ITV1 / S4C / iPlayer / STV / RTÉ2 |
Saturday 9th September
| Italy 52 – 8 Namibia | 12:00 | ITV1 / STV |
| Ireland 82 – 8 Romania | 14:30 | ITV1 / STV |
| Australia 35 – 15 Georgia | 17:00 | ITV1 / STV / RTÉ2 |
| England v Argentina | 20:00 | ITV1 / STV / RTÉ2 |
Sunday 10th September
| Japan v Chile | 12:00 | ITV1 / STV |
| South Africa v Scotland | 16:45 | ITV1 / STV |
| Wales v Fiji | 20:00 | ITV1 / STV / iPlayer / S4C |
Thursday 14th September
| France v Uruguay | 20:00 | ITV1 / STV |
Ovally Balls 
Also I’m relieved that our game is before the Aus/Fiji one. And that it’s Portugal rather than Georgia. If we were high on the idea that we were going through after Aus beating Fiji we could probably lose to just about anyone. Should Aus do just that then those who enjoy an almighty Welsh fuck-up will have to wait till October for the Georgia game and we should have our feet on the ground after losing to the Aussies by then.
Obviously if Fiji win then they’ll have BPs coming out of their arse and the inevitable defeat to Australia will put us out.
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@Ticht – It does look like just about the worst set of fixtures they could have put together for one round. Think I’ll just try to catch our game and Aus-Fiji even if it could be bad for the heart.
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George Ford will have to kick an awful lot of drop goals to get a 90s style scoreline against Japan…
More realistically I suppose that game might be vaguely enjoyable in a turgid sort of way for a half or so if England struggle to get it together.
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Gallows pole theme continued :-
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Poor weekends rugby viewing, relatively, but it is also round 2 of the NRL finals. Storm vs Roosters, and Warriors vs Knights. Second one should be a cracker.
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Ticht – I don’t think Ireland v Tonga will be humping, nor England v Japan.
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Thaum, I just don’t think half a dozen ageing former stars is enough to give Tonga the lift they need. They are are currently ranked 15th – between Japan and Portugal. The rugby rankings aren’t like FIFA, there is a cliff-like drop off after the the first dozen or so.
Tonga lost to teams around their own ranking recently but beat 23rd-ranked Canada.
Ireland will win by at least forty clear points.
Japan beat Chile (ranked 22) on Sunday but lost heavily to Italy and Fiji in the warm ups, they also just lost to Samoa, but they did beat Tonga.
England are never a truly bad side, they will not win the World Cup this year but I’ll eat my hat if they don’t win by forty on Sunday.
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Uruguay to beat a complacent France this weekend. Remember, Uruguay are above the All Blacks in their pool and they’ve not even played yet – that’s some pretty powerful stuff! Foster called Namibia battle hardened in a presser and said they’re taking it seriously. I expect Namibia to blow that powder puff pack off the park. Could get ugly.* More flawless analysis to follow!
*Probably don’t put your house on this set of predictions. Unless you’re getting divorced and likely to lose it anyway. That may be a fun one to explain in the settlement.
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Definitely fully with Deebee on Wrwgwai, hardly need to watch that one really.
Romania should enjoy a run out against the Boks, perfect way to get over the Ireland game. With the pressure off they should be able to get something out of this one, but sadly I’ll be otherwise occupied so won’t get to see just what that might be.
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Wrwgwai
Love that! :-D
Had a fantastic holiday near Dolgellau earlier this year, and not sure I ever mastered the pronunciation, let alone some of the more obscure nearby places. The mister was trying (sort of) to help, but it was difficult.
You sound like a man in search of a very amusing ATL. Do you want it?
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I am going to bed now, but I shall breathlessly await your response.
The Middle One is more than welcome to make a contribution too. Or either of the others, come to that. We haven’t had their opinions yet.
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The Middle One = TMO. Hmm.
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Bok side to face Romania on Sunday below. Mix and match selection, as you would expect against the so-called minnows of the group. Much more enterprising backline than the one picked for Scotland (as you’d expect, where defence was at a premium). Still a very strong side, although I don’t think we’ll be putting 80+ points on Romania, and hopefully won’t need to, having beaten Scotland (you missed this, BB?). Also the first time we’ve gone for a 5-3 split since the last World Cup, if I’m not mistaken! All four nines in the squad – what a fantastic prospect for chippiness galore! Williams on the wing should be very entertaining if he gets much ball (and should with Esterhuizen and Moodie in the midfield), the interplay between Willemse and le Roux as first receiver should be very interesting and give the Boks plenty of options, whilst Deon Fourie will come on at hooker for the first time in a Bok jersey.
There is still a very strong feeling down here that Esterhuizen should in the ‘main’ side ahead of de Allende though. DDA was the leading carrier and metre maker against Scotland, but when you carry into contact EVERY time you get the ball and don’t pass, it’s very difficult for those numbered 11 and 13-15 to make an impression! Some fans I’ve seen in the UK media believe that Jesse Kriel did in fact make an impression, but it was missed by the refs.
South Africa: 15 Willie le Roux, 14 Grant Williams, 13 Canan Moodie, 12 Andre Esterhuizen, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Damian Willemse, 9 Cobus Reinach, 8 Duane Vermeulen, 7 Kwagga Smith, 6 Marco van Staden, 5 Marvin Orie, 4 Jean Kleyn, 3 Vincent Koch, 2 Bongi Mbonambi (captain), 1 Ox Nche.
Replacements: 16 Deon Fourie, 17 Steven Kitshoff, 18 Trevor Nyakane, 19 RG Snyman, 20 Jasper Wiese, 21 Jaden Hendrikse, 22 Faf de Klerk, 23 Jesse Kriel.
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In more concerning news, both Etzebeth and Marx could be out of the Ireland match. That would be a massive blow to the Boks, as they’re two of the key carriers, and Marx’s darts have been very good so far. He’s also a brilliant jackal at the rucks. We’ve got depth in the second row, but it would mean Mbonambi starting at 2 with Deon Fourie the back up hooker, at 37 and not having played there for years.
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FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
Malcolm Marx out of the World Cup with an ACL.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
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That’s very tough – he was looking really on top of his game……………..
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Yup, thats bad news. Probably the world xv starting hooker.
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He’s probably one of a handful that we can’t really replace in the squad. Mbonambi is a very good hooker and was ahead of Marx in 2019, but by the Lions Tour, Marx had regained his premier status. It’s not so much Bongi stepping up to the starting position, as the gulf behind him: 37 year old Deon Fourie, who’s played hooker for most of the last decade, Marco van Staden (bizarrely – don’t think he’s played hooker since junior level) has been training there as well, apparently, whilst Joseph Dweba is on standby back in Cape Town. They haven’t called him up yet, which makes me think they’ll try and wing it with what they have in the squad and call back Handre Pollard, who hasn’t played a full match for club or country since May, I think. This could all unravel very quickly!
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Dave Cherry continues the bad news for hookers – he slipped down the hotel stairs and suffered a concussion which has put him out of the World Cup.
Stuart McInally has been called up in his stead.
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Ewan Ashman was already on return to play concussion protocols after a training ground injury
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Injury Update:-Dave Cherry on the plane home, Stuart MacInally on the fast train to Paris to replace him. Cherry apparently slipped on the stairs at the team hotel, cracked his head, and is out with concussion .
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Late to the breakdown there.
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What a bizarre way to get a World Cup ending concussion! One wonders if refreshments were involved.
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Ireland Team & Replacements (V Tonga, Rugby World Cup Pool B, Nantes, Saturday, Sept 16)
15. Hugo Keenan (Leinster/UCD)(32)
14. Mack Hansen (Connacht/Corinthians)(17)
13. Garry Ringrose (Leinster/UCD)(53)
12. Bundee Aki (Connacht/Galwegians)(48)
11. James Lowe (Leinster)(22)
10. Johnny Sexton (Leinster/St Mary’s College)(captain)(114)
9. Conor Murray (Munster/Garryowen)(108)
1. Andrew Porter (Leinster/UCD)(55)
2. Ronan Kelleher (Leinster/Lansdowne)(22)
3. Tadhg Furlong (Leinster/Clontarf)(68)
4. Tadhg Beirne (Munster/Lansdowne)(42)
5. James Ryan (Leinster/UCD)(56)
6. Peter O’Mahony (Munster/Cork Constitution)(97)
7. Josh van der Flier (Leinster/UCD)(53)
8. Caelan Doris (Leinster/St Mary’s College)(32)
Replacements:
16. Rob Herring (Ulster/Ballynahinch)(38)
17. David Kilcoyne (Munster/UL Bohemians)(52)
18. Finlay Bealham (Connacht/Buccaneers)(32)
19. Iain Henderson (Ulster/Academy)(75)
20. Ryan Baird (Leinster/Dublin University)(13)
21. Craig Casey (Munster/Shannon)(12)
22. Ross Byrne (Leinster/UCD)(21)
23. Robbie Henshaw (Leinster/Buccaneers)(65).
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Ireland going for big wins, it seems? What’s the thinking? Get the guys battle hardened before the Bok and Scotland matches, I’m assuming?
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10 points bagged is inevitable, but points difference? Can’t see Ireland needing that.
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Well, obviously they’re keeping McCloskey for the big matches. I’m not even entirely joking about that – as I pointed out before, there seem to be a number of plays built around him at first receiver that I don’t see happening with Aki.
JGP is missing from this match-day squad. Don’t think he’s injured. And Byrne instead of Crowley on the bench.
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Oh, Tom O’Toole is missing too!
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Please can Uruguay (or Wrwgwai) get a point, one way or another? Unlikely I know, but would be hilarious seeing the Kiwis in 4th spot and playing catchup!
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🎵 Tom O’Toole is missing too, doo da, doo da!
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Great rendition of La Marseillaise; its a brilliant anthem. And the crowd drowned out the canned version! Uruguay holding their own despite that. Should kick off shortly.
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Try Wrwgwai!
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They’re in the lead (France have a pen).
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Hands up – I didn’t see that coming
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Somewhere, Squidge has exploded.
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OH fuck, I forgot the rugby was on tonight! Where’s the remote????
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The technique of jumping on top of the ruck to win back the ball seems to have worked!
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Does there need to be a process? That is clearly a straight red.
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Fair play to the French player for apologising to the Wrwgwaian 9.
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That will probably be red eventually
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It doesn’t seem to have damaged him in the slightest, and he’s been hit in the head again in the tackle!
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Wrwgwai playing some lovely rugby!
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Mitigation?! Fuck off.
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TRY Wrwgwai!
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A second Wrwgwaian has hit the tryline!
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Oh no, chalked off for interference! Starting to think there is a ref bias here.
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Ben Whitehouse is the worst, isn’t he?
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Thaum – Whitehouse is just bitter that he never became Nige V2.
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There’ll never be another Nige. I wish there would.
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Wrwgwai can be proud of that half. I expect they’ll get clobbered in the second half.
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