
And so the first weekend of battle dawns. Time to toss away the sparring, the jousting, the throwing down of the gauntlet and deferential soundbites. It’s here. It’s now. And it’s gonna be one helluva opening weekend! A massive match to open with and some potentially pool-defining Tests on the first weekend make this a crucial, nail-biting and brilliant opening to hopefully the best World Cup yet. And so to your humble scribe’s even humbler predictions:
FRIDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER, POOL A, Stade de France, Saint-Denis
FRANCE vs NEW ZEALAND: Pour a good glass of Bordeaux Blend for this one! A truly heavyweight clash to open the tournament with! Both sides among the overall favourites, although with mixed results in the run in, as well as injury concerns, especially for France. The home side will be swept along on a wave of passion, emotion and fervour, playing with that ‘extra man’ behind them – but keeping that emotion properly bottled and channelled will be key to seeing off a Kiwi side smarting from a thumping against eternal enemies, South Africa. Will it galvanise the Kiwis? Damned right it will. Do they have the personnel and plans to make it count? Damned nearly – still some question marks over the physicality of the pack, with a fairly callow front row and Sam Whitelock behind them past his (considerable) peak. Not a back row for the ages either. France, disrupted by injury, still have a formidable side from 1 to 15 and will be confident of taming the Kiwis.
Prediction? France by a handful. Don’t forget to put the bottle in the recycling bin.
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL A, Stade Geoffroy-Guichard, Saint-Étienne
ITALY vs NAMIBIA: Chianti or Windhoek Lager? Since the Bordeaux Blend is long gone, maybe both. From the highs of the opening clash, to a more mundane and routine match in the same pool. An Italy side that has shown great improvement in the last couple of years (Georgia in for Wales in the 6N etc etc!) won’t be troubled by the Southern Africans, coached by ex-Bok mentor Allister Coetzee. A few of the Namibians have Super Rugby and European experience, notably hooker Torsten van Jaarsveld, but they’re not a side bristling with top players. Expect Italy to keep their powder dry for bigger matches to follow, but still have far too much in the tank for the willing Welwitschias.
Prediction? Italy by 25 or more. 1 bottle of Chianti and a case of Windhoek equals 25. Just stick to that.
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL B, Stade de Bordeaux, Bordeaux
IRELAND vs ROMANIA: A lovely Guinness to wash away the wine and settle in for the afternoon. World number 1 Ireland, on a 13-match winning streak and with one of the more settled squads in the tournament (despite a couple of late withdrawals), won’t be expected to sweat too much against a willing but limited Romania. Romania were thumped in all three warm up matches, with both Italy and Georgia putting 50 on them, and even a weak USA beat them handily. Ireland can afford to put out a reserve side and still win with ease in the easiest of their pool matches. The biggest question is whether Sexton starts (or plays a cameo off the bench), or whether the Irish talisman is wrapped in cotton wool for the more testing fixtures to come.
Prediction? Ireland by as many as they want, really. Sounds like the drinking habits of your average Dubliner, too – join in!
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL C, Stade de France, Saint-Denis
AUSTRALIA vs GEORGIA: Chacha is a Georgian pomace brandy, clear and strong (thanks Wiki), and way better than that 4X piss or Hardy’s slop. Have a double. Each half. The first banana skin match of the World Cup? Australia have had an abysmal season thus far, losing five on the bounce. Not a single try-scoring bonus point in the Rugby Championship for a side supposedly with attacking flair, and only one losing bonus point. They’ve been pretty rudderless under Eddie ‘Cat Bounce’ Jones, who has ditched a number of senior players for youth and good old Aussie derring-do. Nick White says Samu Kerevi is back to full fitness and knocked him about in training, something we’d all like to see a bit more of, but will Australia be able to pick up the pieces against a Georgian side that has lost only once since their epic win over Wales last November? True, Scotland put 33 points on them in the second half of their last match, but they led 6-0 at the break, showing great resilience in the first half, before blowing out.
Prediction? Australia to do the same as Scotland and pull away in the second half – but only by 15 or so. Parched throat? No problem – another match on the way.
SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER, POOL D, Stade de Marseille, Marseille
ENGLAND vs ARGENTINA: A warm tin of Carling or the delights of a Chacra Pinot Noir Patagonia Cincuenta y Cinco? Lob the Carling at the neighbours’ noisy dog and pull the cork! Another potential banana skin to follow the previous match? I doubt it. England don’t have the wherewithal to cause an upset. It’s been a mixed bag for Argentina this year, getting stuffed by the All Blacks and Boks in Argentina, but beating Australia away and losing by a single point to the Boks in SA. A rampant final warm up against Spain means little. However, Argentina have a better pack than England in almost every department and should boss the set piece and breakdown – which has been England’s Achilles’ heel for a while now. They’ve also got backs who on their day can rip just about any defence to pieces, and I reckon they’ve been targeting this match since they beat England at HQ in November. England’s travails in the lead up to the World Cup are well documented, from a stodgy pack and little guile behind it, to disciplinary issues for key players and seemingly little in the way of an evolving gameplan. With both sides having discipline issues, it may well come down to who finishes with the most players on the pitch.
Prediction? Argentina by up to 10. Don’t trip on the way to the kitchen for a refill!
SUNDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER, POOL D, Stadium de Toulouse, Toulouse
JAPAN vs CHILE: Clear the slightly fuzzy head with the Yamazaki Single Malt, followed up with a Viña Casa Silva “Microterroir de Los Lingues” Carménère Colchagua Valley 2011. Great start to a Sunday! Japan ripped up the formbook and sailed into the hearts of the rugby world at the last World Cup on home soil, until they met the unsmiling orcs of the Boks. They played with verve, dash, courage and spirit, and no small amount of breathtaking skill. However, they’re not that side this year. A single win over Tonga in four warm up matches, with a narrow loss to Samoa followed by heavy defeats to Fiji and Italy speaks of side not coping with physical teams. However, they come up against a Chile making their World Cup debut – good on them – and who lost all three of their warm up matches, against Uruguay, Namibia and an Argentine Select side. All three losses were narrow, however, and they scored 26 points in each match – if they do that, it could be enough for a famous opening weekend win.
Prediction? Japan to win an entertaining, high-scoring match by a score or two in the end. Don’t have a whisky for each Japanese score, if you can remember.
SUNDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER, POOL B Stade de Marseille, Marseille
SOUTH AFRICA vs SCOTLAND: Stellenbosch Red, Hermanus Chardonnay, or Paarl Shiraz? Probably brandy and coke to get through this one, followed by a couple of drams of Glenmorangie or Macallan Rare Cask. A huge match in the context of the Pool of Death, pitting the 2nd ranked Boks against the 5th ranked Scots, both of whom have to face the 1st ranked Irish later in the pool. The Boks got mugged in Auckland by the Kiwis, conceding 17 points in as many minutes and not being able to claw that back. They won the rest of the match 20-18, but that counts for nothing. Convincing, powerful wins over Australia, Wales, Argentina and THAT match at Twickers against the All Blacks have seen the Boks emerge as one of the favourites. However, they struggled to contain a fired-up Argentina at Ellis Park, winning by a point – luckily so in the view of many here – and Scotland will have taken note. The Boks have huge forward power, starting and off the bench (Duane Vermeulen benched for Jasper Wiese, to the shock of many), and also have some scintillating outside backs. But the coaches have gone for de Allende and Kriel in midfield, which is the least inspiring combination, although probably the most defensively solid. Scotland will have noted the two diminutive wingers up against McDuhan and McSteyn and will probably pepper them. In Finntastic Russell they have the best 10 at the World Cup, and if the Boks allow him to dictate, it could be a long afternoon for the big boys in green.
Prediction? Heart says Boks by 10 or more, head says anything is possible, fear is kicking in BIG TIME. Check the score on Monday after calling in sick.
SUNDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER, POOL C, Stade de Bordeaux, Bordeaux
WALES vs FIJI: Penderyn Whiskey (no jokes about Welsh Brains here please) or Bounty Rum? Why, I’ll have a couple of each, thanks! A potentially fantastic match to round out the weekend with, as a Wales that are in as much strife as their neighbours across the Afon Hafren, come up against a Fiji side popping and bouncing after their win against England at Twickenham. They did get dusted by France the week before that, but have only that loss in a run of strong wins against Samoa, Japan and Tonga in the run in. Fiji have a strong squad, based on their Super Rugby outfit, but with some real aces from the European leagues too – Bill Mata, Semi Radradra, Waisea Nayacalevu, Temo Mayanavanua and Sam Matavesi to name a few. The loss of two front line 10s is a major blow, but such is the nature of Fijian rugby, you can put a 130kg prop at first receiver and still get a magical backline move! Wales shared the spoils in two lousy matches against England, before being demolished by the Boks in their last hit out before the World Cup. Fiji showed against England that their traditional weakness at set piece has improved, and this may well be a weekend that Welsh fans hide behind the sofa pining for the days of playing only the Western part of Samoa!
Prediction? Fiji, just, against a Welsh side that spoils for an arm-wrestle. Go to bed, if you can make it, or just sleep on the floor and hope the missus/mister is understanding. You’ve got four days before the next lot.
Refreshment recommendations by Deebee7
Onna telly this week
Friday 8th September
| France 27 – 13 New Zealand | 20:15 | ITV1 / S4C / iPlayer / STV / RTÉ2 |
Saturday 9th September
| Italy 52 – 8 Namibia | 12:00 | ITV1 / STV |
| Ireland 82 – 8 Romania | 14:30 | ITV1 / STV |
| Australia 35 – 15 Georgia | 17:00 | ITV1 / STV / RTÉ2 |
| England v Argentina | 20:00 | ITV1 / STV / RTÉ2 |
Sunday 10th September
| Japan v Chile | 12:00 | ITV1 / STV |
| South Africa v Scotland | 16:45 | ITV1 / STV |
| Wales v Fiji | 20:00 | ITV1 / STV / iPlayer / S4C |
Thursday 14th September
| France v Uruguay | 20:00 | ITV1 / STV |

Sounds like Australia’s Gargantuan pack isn’t all its cracked up to be.
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They tipped the scales at 960kg according to the pre-match data. Is that the biggest pack ever?
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Tbh, I spent most of the match playing Minesweeper. It wasn’t the greatest.
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Oh bloody hell, ITV are doing a football/rugby thing, vs Argentina. Glad I’ve got the sound off.
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Commentator hell for this match. 4 Englishmen, two of whom are Dayglo and ‘S’CW.
Okay, one is Jonny Wilkinson, but he won’t be allowed to make up for the others.
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Hahahahahahahaha, even the bushes are CGI on the ITV set. It’s soooooo bad.
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Oh no, Mullins on match comms.
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If I ruled the world, only Andrew Cotter would be allowed to do match commentary. In fact, he would be forced to. But he’d be allowed to swear to make up for the forcing. And he could bring Olive and Mabel.
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Oh god, there’s Ugo on the pitch too.
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Deebee, Racing once took a one metric tonne pack to Glasgow and got stuffed on the 4G pitch, Ben Tameifuna waddled up and the centre of the park and did little else
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Thaum – Cotter and the lady who did the Namibia game this morning. She was very good.
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Tuck your fucking shirt in Ugo, this is a special occasion.
I can’t see Ugo, without thinking of Lee (from Blood & Mud)’s “whoop whoop, I’m down with the kidz” Ugo impression.
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Ugo went to a fee-paying school, coincidentally or not the same one Jonny Wilkinson went to.
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Wasn’t CJ a mate of Topsy’s?
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No idea.
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I think they’d played club rugby together
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Is that an indictment on CJ or Topsy? Or both?
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Well, here we go! This should be a cracker!
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That was the best rendition* of GSTQ/K that I’ve ever heard.
*Next to Queen’s of course.
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30 seconds in and Mullins is already grating.
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And trying to pretend that a head clash was the Argentine player’s fault.
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I hate England comms on England games sooooo much.
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World Rugby are doing a stunning job with the TMO reviews.
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Yellow & bunker for Curry.
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Think that’s a ridiculous yellow. Not even sure it’s a penalty.
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Oh for fuck’s sake. Probably red.
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I love how they’ve called on JP Doyles expert analysis, for the review, and he just repeated everything Ben Kay said.
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Dirty cheating Argies /s
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A second very soft yellow.
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Hip to the head? Carreras gets a yellow & bunker too.
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Looks like it’s a red for Curry…yep.
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We’re fucked.
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Tom Curry doing a great job of sorting out the England defence!
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You called it, Dab. Don’t agree with it at all. I know safety is paramount, but I can’t see how that was a card, never mind red.
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:: smugface ::
I predicted a red card each the other day. All right, one of them is only yellow, but the match is young yet.
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Apparently this is the ‘forwards putting in kicks’ World Cup.
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Carreras back on.
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Oh, that was a lovely kick to the corner.
Bastards.
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Can’t understand how the hip to the head wasn’t also a red. Game is in a state right now.
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Raynal seems to be ignoring the directive to not go to the TMO with a Gallic shrug.
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G’wan Dave. Show ’em how it’s done.
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England’s box-kicking is terrible.
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Just once, could an England player not take the ball at a standstill.
Nice one Ford. Drop goal to take the lead,
6-3 to England 27mins
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Daly lining up a 55m+ penalty.
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It dropped short, but Arg scuffed the clearance and England have a lineout on their 22.
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Ha, maybe England will win via drops goals. Fair play to Ford.
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Who needs Daly. Ford just kicked a drop goal from 50m.
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So Argentina decide to try a drop goal, but it was rubbish and missed by a mile.
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George Ford doing a Jannie de Beer here! Being a man down, England are doing superbly.
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Thauma, I think you’re right that Argentina probably won’t have 15 on the pitch for too much longer.
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