Got caught napping by the bank holidays and have only just realised that today is Friday, and there is European Cup rugby on! So imagine a long and hilariously funny post here. Or just skip to the fixtures.
Onna telly this weekend
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Dayglo and the main commentator are being really tiresome, about the amount of kicking in the Bath match (there is a lot). Asking if there’s some way to stop teams playing like this.
Healey being the voice of reason (?) saying that it would actually be better if they policed defenders running blocking lines a bit more.
Which reminds me, I was hiking in the Ayrshire hills one day and the clouds came down very quickly and we were soon lost in fog. We saw this small dwelling appearing through the mist and made our way towards it.
A knock on the door was answered with “Come in”. There was an elderly farmer facing us from just in front of the log fire, hands behind his back. Up behind him hanging from string were several hams, curing in the smoke and heat.
Treviso score thanks to Addison doing something brainless again.
Ticht – I am rubbish at identifying accents. I’m not sure whether that’s because I’ve lived in a lot of different places, or if it’s just a natural inability. Was watching the US Traitors (yes, I know), and wondered who the guy with the cod Scottish accent was hosting it, then looked him up and found out that he actually is Scottish.
Treviso have just taken a quick line-out that I thought ought to have been Ulster’s (and – entirely coincidentally! – so did the commentators.) never mind, we’ve got the ball back.
Rob Baloucoune with a superb try-saving tackle. He’s really turned into a good tackler, as well as a good catcher of high balls as well as a speedy winger.
We were a lot better than I anticipated, especially with our injury list, and I am pleased that we won against a side who are very, very, very dangerous in attack.
Sharks got 12 points out with five to go only to let Scarlets back into it. Scarlets with the penalty on full-time. 5 points in it. Go through a few phases in the Sharks 22 but lose possession and the Sharks hack it out. Looked like a close match all the way, Sharks hanging on in the end.
BB – back to Alan Cumming. Looking again at his CV, the only thing I’ve seen that he’s been in is Eyes Wide Shut, and what I remember about that film is how crap an actor Tom Cruise is, and how much better Nicole Kidman is. Don’t remember his role at all.
All right, I’m going with Ticht now. In the post-match commentary, they’re talking about how Addison is one of those players who, when they get the ball in their hands, you expect something. Me, my heart’s in my mouth, because I expect him to fuck it up, and I’m usually right.
Sarries pip Bath at the death 12-15. Only saw the last 10 minutes which was remarkable in terms of skill, luck, bad luck, bad skill and bloody mindedness! Quite a finish!
Brumbies 21-5 up against the Canes, having scored 3 tries to 1, with two cracking tries. Canes have looked unusually sluggish on both attack and defence.
Went to make coffee (a bit early for red wine despite it being chilly and damp this morning) and the Brumbies knocked over a penalty. 24-5 approaching the half hour. This is against the previously unbeaten Canes.
Canes pull one back to 24-12 and are starting to find their groove. Brumbies looming for a last score before the break but fumble it a few metres from the line. That’s half time.
Brumbies knock over another penalty to start thr second half, but the Canes roar back with a Jordie Barrett try and conversion to narrow the gap to 27-19. Game on!
Both sides looking for space and giving it a good go, but good defence and some loose handling or forced offloading is just keeping them out. Brumbies prop has popped his shoulder. Ouch! 7 to go.
Canes Clobbered in Canberra! Brumbies batter the boys from the bay, but bugger up bonus point! Finished 27-19, meaning the Canes got nothing out of it, but the Brumbies had a few chances to get the try bonus point but just couldn’t convert the pressure
Wales take the lead against Italy. the hooker scoring from a cute move off the front of the lineout, after 15mins. Conversion missed.
Italy strike back almost immediately. The outside centre rips the ball off a Welsh player in contact and the 11 nips down the line to score. Converted.
Perhaps Bristol were watching Wales earlier. Lineout just outside the Tigers 22. Oghre throws the ball to Genge at the front, while people were fannying around at the back. Genge pops it back and the hooker has an open run-in…wait, Genge’s throw was slightly forward and they come back for a scrum.
Ovally Balls 
Another nice try but I’m afraid the comms have pushed me out, I’m off to watch Ayr v Watsons on BBC Alba
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Ayrshire Bulls 15 – 7 Watsonians with a conversion to come from Bulls.
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Dayglo and the main commentator are being really tiresome, about the amount of kicking in the Bath match (there is a lot). Asking if there’s some way to stop teams playing like this.
Healey being the voice of reason (?) saying that it would actually be better if they policed defenders running blocking lines a bit more.
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I don’t know, Ticht, they’ve just pointed out something a bit dodgy about the try by the unidentified person.
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Which reminds me, I was hiking in the Ayrshire hills one day and the clouds came down very quickly and we were soon lost in fog. We saw this small dwelling appearing through the mist and made our way towards it.
A knock on the door was answered with “Come in”. There was an elderly farmer facing us from just in front of the log fire, hands behind his back. Up behind him hanging from string were several hams, curing in the smoke and heat.
I said, “Is that your Ayrshire bacon?”
The farmer says, “Naw, I’m just warmin’ ma hands”
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Ticht – I had to go through that several times trying on slightly different accents to get it!
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Ah shite, Stockdale’s going off for an HIA after spending a few moments on the floor.
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Treviso score thanks to Addison doing something brainless again.
Ticht – I am rubbish at identifying accents. I’m not sure whether that’s because I’ve lived in a lot of different places, or if it’s just a natural inability. Was watching the US Traitors (yes, I know), and wondered who the guy with the cod Scottish accent was hosting it, then looked him up and found out that he actually is Scottish.
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BP TRY Addison, of all people! (Pretty much gifted, but at least he didn’t fuck it up.)
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And Cooney slots the very difficult conversion with no trouble at all.
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Just checked who the host is. You didn’t know Alan Cumming is Scottish?
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I didn’t know who he was, BB! Am not good at slebs.
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Treviso in again for their third. I wouldn’t put it past them to still win this.
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Treviso score again, and that’s their BP.
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It’s 28-27 with 15 mins to go. Gulp.
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But Ulster immediately get a line-out in the Treviso 22!
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And TRY someone at the bottom of a pile!
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Izuchukwu, I think.
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35-27, 68 mins in.
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Cooney penalty takes it to 38-27.
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Treviso have just taken a quick line-out that I thought ought to have been Ulster’s (and – entirely coincidentally! – so did the commentators.) never mind, we’ve got the ball back.
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Cooney deservedly gets MotM.
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Rob Baloucoune with a superb try-saving tackle. He’s really turned into a good tackler, as well as a good catcher of high balls as well as a speedy winger.
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However, Treviso are now on an attacking scrum in our 22, and we really don’t want to let them get two bonus points.
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Luke Marshall gets a yellow and Treviso may or may not have scored a try as the clock goes red. TMO to adjudicate.
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Cam Redpath off the bench for Bath and scores from a rolling maul. All square, 12-12 with 15mins left.
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Try is given, and it’s 38-34.
We were a lot better than I anticipated, especially with our injury list, and I am pleased that we won against a side who are very, very, very dangerous in attack.
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We will probably live to regret giving away not one but two bonus points.
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Sharks got 12 points out with five to go only to let Scarlets back into it. Scarlets with the penalty on full-time. 5 points in it. Go through a few phases in the Sharks 22 but lose possession and the Sharks hack it out. Looked like a close match all the way, Sharks hanging on in the end.
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Ha, Jacob Stockdale is walking around with some monster-sized baby in his arms. Like something out of Stephen King.
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BB – back to Alan Cumming. Looking again at his CV, the only thing I’ve seen that he’s been in is Eyes Wide Shut, and what I remember about that film is how crap an actor Tom Cruise is, and how much better Nicole Kidman is. Don’t remember his role at all.
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All right, I’m going with Ticht now. In the post-match commentary, they’re talking about how Addison is one of those players who, when they get the ball in their hands, you expect something. Me, my heart’s in my mouth, because I expect him to fuck it up, and I’m usually right.
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Sarries pip Bath at the death 12-15. Only saw the last 10 minutes which was remarkable in terms of skill, luck, bad luck, bad skill and bloody mindedness! Quite a finish!
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Brumbies 21-5 up against the Canes, having scored 3 tries to 1, with two cracking tries. Canes have looked unusually sluggish on both attack and defence.
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Went to make coffee (a bit early for red wine despite it being chilly and damp this morning) and the Brumbies knocked over a penalty. 24-5 approaching the half hour. This is against the previously unbeaten Canes.
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Canes pull one back to 24-12 and are starting to find their groove. Brumbies looming for a last score before the break but fumble it a few metres from the line. That’s half time.
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Brumbies knock over another penalty to start thr second half, but the Canes roar back with a Jordie Barrett try and conversion to narrow the gap to 27-19. Game on!
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Both sides looking for space and giving it a good go, but good defence and some loose handling or forced offloading is just keeping them out. Brumbies prop has popped his shoulder. Ouch! 7 to go.
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Canes Clobbered in Canberra! Brumbies batter the boys from the bay, but bugger up bonus point! Finished 27-19, meaning the Canes got nothing out of it, but the Brumbies had a few chances to get the try bonus point but just couldn’t convert the pressure
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For all you snooker fans: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2024/apr/27/world-snooker-championship-crucible-the-chair-loneliest-seat
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Wales take the lead against Italy. the hooker scoring from a cute move off the front of the lineout, after 15mins. Conversion missed.
Italy strike back almost immediately. The outside centre rips the ball off a Welsh player in contact and the 11 nips down the line to score. Converted.
5-7 18mins.
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Wales have beaten Italy! The coach is in tears, in his box. Final score 22-20. Hell of a performance.
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Comfortable win for the Weedge in Parma. In the end. Think we might regret not getting the bonus point last week against the Sharks.
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Premier Sports is doing something very odd. It keeps switching from the Cardiff match to motor racing.
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Thaum – maybe it’s trying to save the Mister from disappointment?
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Well, it’s just gone to a car crash!
Now back to the rugby (by stopping & reloading), and it’s still scoreless at Arms Park, although Edinburgh are in Cardiff’s 22.
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Leicester 7-0 up. Bristol down a man for repeated infringements in their 22. Now Brown gets a yellow for being a cheating git.
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Perhaps Bristol were watching Wales earlier. Lineout just outside the Tigers 22. Oghre throws the ball to Genge at the front, while people were fannying around at the back. Genge pops it back and the hooker has an open run-in…wait, Genge’s throw was slightly forward and they come back for a scrum.
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7-0 to Tigers at half time.
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Similarly, it’s 0-7 to Edinburgh at Arms Park at HT.
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