Got caught napping by the bank holidays and have only just realised that today is Friday, and there is European Cup rugby on! So imagine a long and hilariously funny post here. Or just skip to the fixtures.
Onna telly this weekend
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Listening to the dulcet yet acerbic strains of Delicate Sounds of Thunder as I wait for the rugby. Red wine in hand, music playing and rugby imminent. Life is good, whatever the results!
The Weege have started well enough and are stretching the Sharks already. No score after 5 minutes, but Sharks are pinned in their 22. Weege by lots, surely.
George Horne catches the Sharks napping with a quick tap and go from 5m out. When you’re under the cosh you can’t afford to give away opportunistic tries like that! 7-0 Glasgow.
Penalty 🦈 and they kick to the corner. Win it, but coxk up the next phase. Scrum Weege.
Sharks handling is beyond poor. These are professional rugby players and they’re dropping simple passes. Crap.
Then Horne unleashes a massive boot but it’s too far and the Sharks can scrum on the Weege 10m. They make yards but cough it up and Weege can scrum in their 22. Glasgow pour downfield with great hands, but lose focus and cough the penalty.
Still only 7-0 after 22 minutes, with the Sharks deep on attack coughing up the ball in a promising position.
Skew lineout from the Sharks, and Glasgow can clear. Ref won’t give them the scrum penalty which I find curious, I think, given that they marmalised the Sharks scrum. After a Sharks fumble the Weege almost score at the other end! They’ve got the scrum, so probably will score. Weege go through a number of phases without looking like they’re making progress and then suddenly it opens up and some large bastard goes over. 14-0 and for the second time today, both sides are full value for their scores thus far.
Sharks batter away at the Weege line under advantage, but can’t get over. Another penalty though and 5 minutes to the break. Score here and it’ll be a big moment for them. They may well have, or not, because my feed has failed.
Cummings binned for team offenses. Dirty bastard! Sharks with another penalty advantage and the ref warning Weege of his trigger finger. Finally the Sharks get a maul going and over! Bosch misses the conversion, soc14-5 with a minute to the break. Sharks make a hash of the clearance and Weege have a last shot in their 22 before the break
Weege with the 5m lineout. A couple of messy phases and a bit of niggle, and Weege are over! 21-5 at the break. About right. Sharks look like a composite side; Weege look like a proper side. I think it’ll be a large win in the end.
Phew! Finally found out on RTÉ Online that McCloskey is merely being rested. Also found that he and Stevie Ferris had some kind of Twitter spat over the weekend.
Just as Ulster were starting to play well, it all goes wrong and that bastard in the Cardiff 11 shirt scores a hat-trick. Although it is being checked.
We were a lot better in the second half and probably deserved to win (just). The decision was controversial, but so was the one in the first half with Stockdale.
Deebee’s silence on the second half of Glasgow vs Sharks was testament to how good it was. We played into the Sharks hands, some of the ref’s decisions were ‘interesting’ (10 minutes to look at a TMO incident that NOBODY seemed to know what was going on), plus injury disruptions.
Leinster finally get a penalty and go for the corner. Skew lineout and Lions have the scrum. 2nd scrum penalty and they’re able to clear. Leinster hoofing a lot of ball into the highveld sky. Lions lineout 15m out. Leinster steal it and clear up to their 10m.
Getting a little loose and testy. Tasty! Leinster enjoying more possession in the last 10, but haven’t been able to do too much with it. They do get a scrum penalty and kick to the corner. Carrying hard, but held up over the line! Lions have been strong on defence so far!
Lions conceding a few penalties now in their 22. No official warning yet, but they need to be careful. 5 to go to half time and the Lions manage to get the carrier into touch. Then throw long and knock on. They’ll be desperate to keep Leinster out here – who surely need points before the break. Turner goes over! But has he knocked it on? Or was it short? Both. Scrum Lions. 3 to the break. Lions need to get put of their 22, which they just about manage.
FFS! Lions turn it over and then spill it as they try to manage the clock. Poor old Jacques Nienaber in the Leinster box, tearing hin non-existent hair out. Now the Lions get a warning for a 3rd offside call. Leinster take the tap and go through a bunch of phases, but knock it on! 22-0 at oranges!
2nd half starting the way the first finished with the Lions defending desperately and Leinster building phases. Lions rip it again and clear up to midfield. Finally they string the passes together down the narrow side and over! But looks like a forward pass. Yip. Scrum Lions, but they’re now under the cosh.
Sweet Caroline being belted out whilst Nohamba lines up a penalty attempt. The crowd roars it out as one. Or maybe one is the crowd. Penalty confusion! One flag, one down! They’re checking if it went under or over the bar! And my feed fails. It’s good! 25-0 with 30 to go.
Leinster LH scrums parallel to the scrum but gets the penalty. They kick to the corner and maul. A lovely dab through after a wild pass to nobody and they score! 25-7 after 54 minutes. Lions need the BP try to ose this out you’d think.
Ovally Balls 
Red wine is flowing. Getting ready for the matches a bit later.
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Oh, I’ve just looked and it’s the Big Match tonight! Who can be more shit? It’s up for grabs!
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In shock news, I’m going to Scotstoun tonight AND IT’S NOT RAINING!!!!!!!!
It’ll still be bloody cold, though.
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BB – pictures or it didn’t happen.
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Listening to the dulcet yet acerbic strains of Delicate Sounds of Thunder as I wait for the rugby. Red wine in hand, music playing and rugby imminent. Life is good, whatever the results!
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I am wearing my Ulster shirt. The mister is not wearing his Cardiff shirt. Ulster by 45.
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It’s sunny in Belfast! Wonders will never cease.
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Hmm, so we’ve got Doak playing 9, Flannery at 10, and – yay! – Stockdale on the left wing.
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Already the Cardiff 15 has gone off (maybe just for HIA?), and Tom Stewart is getting an ankle wrapped up.
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The Weege have started well enough and are stretching the Sharks already. No score after 5 minutes, but Sharks are pinned in their 22. Weege by lots, surely.
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Hmm, we are missing Hendo, Kitshoff, Timoney, Herring and Stewart Moore due to injury. There is no sign or mention of McCloskey for reasons unknown.
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Oh, and Cardiff scored while I was looking that up!
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George Horne catches the Sharks napping with a quick tap and go from 5m out. When you’re under the cosh you can’t afford to give away opportunistic tries like that! 7-0 Glasgow.
Penalty 🦈 and they kick to the corner. Win it, but coxk up the next phase. Scrum Weege.
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Now Hume looks to have seriously injured himself & is going off.
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Sharks handling is beyond poor. These are professional rugby players and they’re dropping simple passes. Crap.
Then Horne unleashes a massive boot but it’s too far and the Sharks can scrum on the Weege 10m. They make yards but cough it up and Weege can scrum in their 22. Glasgow pour downfield with great hands, but lose focus and cough the penalty.
Still only 7-0 after 22 minutes, with the Sharks
deep on attackcoughing up the ball in a promising position.LikeLike
Penalty Doak, who has also been receiving some treatment and doesn’t look entirely comfortable.
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Skew lineout from the Sharks, and Glasgow can clear. Ref won’t give them the scrum penalty which I find curious, I think, given that they marmalised the Sharks scrum. After a Sharks fumble the Weege almost score at the other end! They’ve got the scrum, so probably will score. Weege go through a number of phases without looking like they’re making progress and then suddenly it opens up and some large bastard goes over. 14-0 and for the second time today, both sides are full value for their scores thus far.
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Sharks batter away at the Weege line under advantage, but can’t get over. Another penalty though and 5 minutes to the break. Score here and it’ll be a big moment for them. They may well have, or not, because my feed has failed.
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Ulster scored another penalty (or possibly drop goal) while I was feeding the dog.
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6-7 at HT. The score flatters both sides.
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Cummings binned for team offenses. Dirty bastard! Sharks with another penalty advantage and the ref warning Weege of his trigger finger. Finally the Sharks get a maul going and over! Bosch misses the conversion, soc14-5 with a minute to the break. Sharks make a hash of the clearance and Weege have a last shot in their 22 before the break
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Weege with the 5m lineout. A couple of messy phases and a bit of niggle, and Weege are over! 21-5 at the break. About right. Sharks look like a composite side; Weege look like a proper side. I think it’ll be a large win in the end.
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Phew! Finally found out on RTÉ Online that McCloskey is merely being rested. Also found that he and Stevie Ferris had some kind of Twitter spat over the weekend.
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Burns replaces Flannery after HT.
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Cardiff 11 scores a nice try (bastard!).
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Stockdale has been ridiculously yellow-carded for trying to catch an intercept, which he knocked on. He nearly had it, and would have been away.
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Cooney on for Doak.
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TRY McCann! Had gone for the corner, seemed to balls everything up, but somehow got through.
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With the conversion, we are back to being only one point behind (13-14), and back up to 15.
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And with a brilliant kick, Cooney puts Ulster ahead for the first time!
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Cardiff now score a penalty, so Ulster a point behind again. 10 mins to go.
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Just as Ulster were starting to play well, it all goes wrong and that bastard in the Cardiff 11 shirt scores a hat-trick. Although it is being checked.
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Chalked off way back for a professional foul! If Adamson were consistent, it would be a yellow card (he had no chance of catching it), but no.
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I take that back! He is getting a yellow.
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And Cooney kicks the penalty to put Ulster ahead!
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And that’s the game.
We were a lot better in the second half and probably deserved to win (just). The decision was controversial, but so was the one in the first half with Stockdale.
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19-17.
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Bloody homer ref!
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Deebee’s silence on the second half of Glasgow vs Sharks was testament to how good it was. We played into the Sharks hands, some of the ref’s decisions were ‘interesting’ (10 minutes to look at a TMO incident that NOBODY seemed to know what was going on), plus injury disruptions.
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Lions battering Leinster early on. 15-0 with the conversion to come. Scoring at 1.6 points per minute. Long may it continue.
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Missed a relative sitter and Leinster get a couple of phases going. Sanele Nohamba intercepts and feeds Quan Horne for the 3rd! 22-0 after 15 minutes!
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Deebee’s silence was testament to how good the burgundy blend was!
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Leinster finally get a penalty and go for the corner. Skew lineout and Lions have the scrum. 2nd scrum penalty and they’re able to clear. Leinster hoofing a lot of ball into the highveld sky. Lions lineout 15m out. Leinster steal it and clear up to their 10m.
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Getting a little loose and testy. Tasty! Leinster enjoying more possession in the last 10, but haven’t been able to do too much with it. They do get a scrum penalty and kick to the corner. Carrying hard, but held up over the line! Lions have been strong on defence so far!
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Lions conceding a few penalties now in their 22. No official warning yet, but they need to be careful. 5 to go to half time and the Lions manage to get the carrier into touch. Then throw long and knock on. They’ll be desperate to keep Leinster out here – who surely need points before the break. Turner goes over! But has he knocked it on? Or was it short? Both. Scrum Lions. 3 to the break. Lions need to get put of their 22, which they just about manage.
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FFS! Lions turn it over and then spill it as they try to manage the clock. Poor old Jacques Nienaber in the Leinster box, tearing hin non-existent hair out. Now the Lions get a warning for a 3rd offside call. Leinster take the tap and go through a bunch of phases, but knock it on! 22-0 at oranges!
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Benetton have the BP early in the second half against the Drags. 24-7.
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2nd half starting the way the first finished with the Lions defending desperately and Leinster building phases. Lions rip it again and clear up to midfield. Finally they string the passes together down the narrow side and over! But looks like a forward pass. Yip. Scrum Lions, but they’re now under the cosh.
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Sweet Caroline being belted out whilst Nohamba lines up a penalty attempt. The crowd roars it out as one. Or maybe one is the crowd. Penalty confusion! One flag, one down! They’re checking if it went under or over the bar! And my feed fails. It’s good! 25-0 with 30 to go.
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Leinster LH scrums parallel to the scrum but gets the penalty. They kick to the corner and maul. A lovely dab through after a wild pass to nobody and they score! 25-7 after 54 minutes. Lions need the BP try to ose this out you’d think.
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