Got caught napping by the bank holidays and have only just realised that today is Friday, and there is European Cup rugby on! So imagine a long and hilariously funny post here. Or just skip to the fixtures.
Onna telly this weekend
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Lions have defended heroically for much of the last 55 minutes and turn another crucial ball over close to their line. Leinster keep the maul up and get the scrum. But like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of Lions lives! And they break superbly and Tshituka gets his second! 37-12 into the last 3 minutes!
The Lions have finished as they started, in great style, and Leinster just couldn’t break down their stubborn defence in the middle 50 minutes. One last chance for Leinster… and they knock it on, the Lions get it quickly through hands, a neat dab through and Franke Horne scores! 44-12 the final score! Fabulous stuff!
Munster have some to play! Unlike those soft Dubs. 0-0 in Pretoria after 15 minutes, with Murray having hit the upright from distance. They’re in now in the corner after some fine quick passing! Zebo I think. Great conversion from Crowley close to touch.
Munster are playing a lovely offloading game and finding space in the Bulls midfield as a result. Just not quite sticking yet, but looks ominous. Future Leinster injury concern RG Snyman has shown some very deft touches.
Saints / Tigers was a bit of a bonkers game. Two yellow cards for each team, plus a red for a Tigers player (head contact in a tackle). More passes directly to opposition players than I can remember seeing. Saints finish with the win, 40-17.
Munster prevailed 27-22 in Pretoria. Great result for them, give the log standings. Bulls played the last 25 or so without Goosen at 10 for a head to head tackle. A bit unfortunate, but rules is rules. It was a big moment in the game – if not given, the Bulls had scored in the corner and were up to 27 (29 if the extras were added), instead Munster got the penalty 45m downfield. Getting interesting at the top!
Bloody hell, England Women beat Ireland 88-10, in the 6 Nations. 14 tries to 1.
In Prem news, Bath are leading Exeter 0-14 at half time, ending the half with a lovely try. Bath lineout on half-way and they fake setting up a maul. Instead, Ewels just runs through and into the Exeter half. Spencer times his support run perfectly, to receive the pass to score, just as the lock is being tackled.
@Deebee, ” .. how good was the burgundy blend.”
Shock, horror. Unlike a Bordeaux or a whisky, Burgundy cannot be a blend. It’s either red, and it’s made only with pinot noir, or white and it’s just chardonnay. Let’s be charitable and not mention aligoté.
Not much good rugby today in T14, possibly tonight when Toulon host Toulouse in Marseille, but Toulouse will field a B or C team.
Ospreys took an early lead against the Stormers (missed it), but Dan du Plessis initiated finished the response.7-5 Stormers after 16. He’s got a lot of support here for a spot at 12 for the Boks, offering a very different skill set to De Allende and Esterhuizen. More of the silky and skillful player his and uncles were than the battering rams favoured by Rassie.
Exeter on the board. The Bath 4, Roux, launches himself over a ruck, shoulder first, into Jack Yeandle’s back, conceding a penalty. Slade puts it in the corner and Exeter get another pen from the resulting lineout. It’s a tap & go and Bath stop a couple of tries before the ball goes wide to Woodburn, who scores in the corner. 7-14
Stormers have been dreadful tonight. The Ospreys haven’t been all that good, but they’ve taken advantage of how shittily sloppy or sloppily shitty the Stormers have been. Fully deserve their lead.
Ospreys with a deserved win – they stuck to their guns and made a mess of the Stormers attack, which was pretty listless. You felt that the Stormers always had the quality to pull away, but the O’s just wouldn’t let them. Great win!
Good start by Bristol, against Newcastle. Naulago breaks a tackle on the wing, in his own half. Then he and Randall break down field, doing a 1-2, then 2-1 to avoid the last defenders.
Second try after just 5 mins. Bristol lineout in the corner and they go long, so most of the team can join the maul. Oghre, the hooker, breaks off but is held back on the line, then the lock, Dun, powers over to score.
Refit, it’s only rumours at the moment but the word is that Magnus Bradbury is going back to Edinburgh next season to replace Big Bill Mata who of course is heading your way
And a 3rd try for Bristol. Genge picks a lovely, simple pass to Malins, who’s cutting back against the run of play. It’s a stroll under the posts. 21-0, not even 10mins on the clock.
Oops, a loose pass from Sinckler only finds the hands of Radwan, shooting out the line. Ibitoye can’t catch him and he scores under the posts. 21-7 12mins
James Williams, the Bristol 12, scores their 5th try. A few drives on the Falcons’ line, then the ball goes to mid-field and he breaks through two defending tackles.
Briz are going full Briz. Sinckler pops the ball to Genge on the edge of the Newcastle 22. He breaks one tackle, hitch-kicks out of a second and scores under the posts.
Now it’s Janse van Rensberg’s turn to score. Starts with Naulago running either over or through defenders on the far wing. Then the ball is moved across the field, for JvR to score in the opposite corner.
Caulfield, the Bristol 5, reaches over a ruck, picks up the ball and then sets off into the Newcastle half. The break ends with it looking like Ibitoye scores in the corner, but it turns out the lock’s back foot was just offside.
Kieran Marmion, on for Randall, gets on the score sheet. Bristol get a scrum pen and put it in the corner. Capon peels off the back of the resulting maul and passes to his 9, who strolls in.
Radwan almost scores his second. The Newcastle 10 puts a grubber into the Bristol 22, but it just rolls dead before the winger can get his hands to it. Radwan is now limping.
Another intercept try for Newcastle. Flat pass from Malins, just inside the Falcons half and Connon, the 10, shoots out the line to grab it. He has enough pace to score.
Slightly bizarre try for Bristol. Vaketawa gets the ball on the wing. He tries to offload the ball behind his back, but it hits one of the Newcastle tackler’s hands and bounces forwards (from a Bristol PoV) into the Falcons’ half. The only person to react is Heenan, the replacement lock. He gathers the ball and strolls over the line for a try.
Jesus, the other Bristol replacement lock, Owen, has some wheels. He breaks from half way, knees pumping and is only caught inside the Newcastle 22. The move ends with Vaketawa scoring in the corner. van Rensberg kicks a beautiful conversion, sliding between the posts (he has a HUGE grin on his face). 80-14 78mins.
I’ve just finished typing and Bristol score again. van Rensberg gets the ball on the far side of the pitch. He runs down the wing and pops it inside to Vaketawa. He juggles it a bit and then crosses the line. Conversion missed, final score 85-14. van Rensberg gets the Maro award.
Ovally Balls 
Lions turn over a promising Leinster move, hack it downfield and Emmanuel Tshituka scores! 30-7 and the BP. 22 to go.
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Ntlabakanye is on. You won’t see him in the wide channels much!
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Another Leinster series of pick and drives from a penalty maul and finally they find the space to go over. 30-12 into the last 15!
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Lions have defended heroically for much of the last 55 minutes and turn another crucial ball over close to their line. Leinster keep the maul up and get the scrum. But like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of Lions lives! And they break superbly and Tshituka gets his second! 37-12 into the last 3 minutes!
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The Lions have finished as they started, in great style, and Leinster just couldn’t break down their stubborn defence in the middle 50 minutes. One last chance for Leinster… and they knock it on, the Lions get it quickly through hands, a neat dab through and Franke Horne scores! 44-12 the final score! Fabulous stuff!
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Well done, Deebee’s Lions!
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Munster have some to play! Unlike those soft Dubs. 0-0 in Pretoria after 15 minutes, with Murray having hit the upright from distance. They’re in now in the corner after some fine quick passing! Zebo I think. Great conversion from Crowley close to touch.
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Elrich Louw powers over for a Bulls riposte and it’s level at Loftus!
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Goosen sticks over a penalty and it’s 10-7. Autocorrect thinks his name is Gooseneck.
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Munster are playing a lovely offloading game and finding space in the Bulls midfield as a result. Just not quite sticking yet, but looks ominous. Future Leinster injury concern RG Snyman has shown some very deft touches.
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Saints / Tigers was a bit of a bonkers game. Two yellow cards for each team, plus a red for a Tigers player (head contact in a tackle). More passes directly to opposition players than I can remember seeing. Saints finish with the win, 40-17.
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Munster prevailed 27-22 in Pretoria. Great result for them, give the log standings. Bulls played the last 25 or so without Goosen at 10 for a head to head tackle. A bit unfortunate, but rules is rules. It was a big moment in the game – if not given, the Bulls had scored in the corner and were up to 27 (29 if the extras were added), instead Munster got the penalty 45m downfield. Getting interesting at the top!
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Charlie Ewells with a great gallop for Bath, setting up the try for the insufferable 9 yapping at his heels! Good lad! Bath 14-0 up at the break.
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Bloody hell, England Women beat Ireland 88-10, in the 6 Nations. 14 tries to 1.
In Prem news, Bath are leading Exeter 0-14 at half time, ending the half with a lovely try. Bath lineout on half-way and they fake setting up a maul. Instead, Ewels just runs through and into the Exeter half. Spencer times his support run perfectly, to receive the pass to score, just as the lock is being tackled.
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@Deebee, ” .. how good was the burgundy blend.”
Shock, horror. Unlike a Bordeaux or a whisky, Burgundy cannot be a blend. It’s either red, and it’s made only with pinot noir, or white and it’s just chardonnay. Let’s be charitable and not mention aligoté.
Not much good rugby today in T14, possibly tonight when Toulon host Toulouse in Marseille, but Toulouse will field a B or C team.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ospreys took an early lead against the Stormers (missed it), but Dan du Plessis initiated finished the response.7-5 Stormers after 16. He’s got a lot of support here for a spot at 12 for the Boks, offering a very different skill set to De Allende and Esterhuizen. More of the silky and skillful player his and uncles were than the battering rams favoured by Rassie.
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Exeter on the board. The Bath 4, Roux, launches himself over a ruck, shoulder first, into Jack Yeandle’s back, conceding a penalty. Slade puts it in the corner and Exeter get another pen from the resulting lineout. It’s a tap & go and Bath stop a couple of tries before the ball goes wide to Woodburn, who scores in the corner. 7-14
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I missed a 3rd Bath try getting food. 7-19
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Stormers almost cock it up – again – but the turn on the missing style to score. 14-17, with the Ospreys still just ahead.
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Flair, I meant Bordeaux, but a bit like the Bulls (and now the Stormers) casually buggered it up. Now just sipping on a Cab Sav, so no mistaking that!
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Stormers have been dreadful tonight. The Ospreys haven’t been all that good, but they’ve taken advantage of how shittily sloppy or sloppily shitty the Stormers have been. Fully deserve their lead.
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Ospreys in again! They’re bullying the Stormers who look clueless, frankly. 14-24 and a big upset on the cards with 15 to go.
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Ospreys with a deserved win – they stuck to their guns and made a mess of the Stormers attack, which was pretty listless. You felt that the Stormers always had the quality to pull away, but the O’s just wouldn’t let them. Great win!
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Good start by Bristol, against Newcastle. Naulago breaks a tackle on the wing, in his own half. Then he and Randall break down field, doing a 1-2, then 2-1 to avoid the last defenders.
7-0 inside 3mins
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Great start from Briz
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Second try after just 5 mins. Bristol lineout in the corner and they go long, so most of the team can join the maul. Oghre, the hooker, breaks off but is held back on the line, then the lock, Dun, powers over to score.
14-0 6mins
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Sale 2 tries up against Quins, inside 5mins too.
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Refit, it’s only rumours at the moment but the word is that Magnus Bradbury is going back to Edinburgh next season to replace Big Bill Mata who of course is heading your way
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Ooh, I can see Mata having a lot of fun, with Lam’s setup.
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Sheesh, they’ve scored again
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Mata’s strongest skill is how he gets others into the open with outrageous offloads, he’ll do well with Lam right enough
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And a 3rd try for Bristol. Genge picks a lovely, simple pass to Malins, who’s cutting back against the run of play. It’s a stroll under the posts. 21-0, not even 10mins on the clock.
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Oops, a loose pass from Sinckler only finds the hands of Radwan, shooting out the line. Ibitoye can’t catch him and he scores under the posts. 21-7 12mins
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Break by Randall and he offloads to Bradbury, who just manages to squeeze the ball over the line. 26-8 on 15mins.
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James Williams, the Bristol 12, scores their 5th try. A few drives on the Falcons’ line, then the ball goes to mid-field and he breaks through two defending tackles.
33-7 28mins
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Briz are going full Briz. Sinckler pops the ball to Genge on the edge of the Newcastle 22. He breaks one tackle, hitch-kicks out of a second and scores under the posts.
40-7 38mins.
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Flippin ‘eck Tucker, what has happened to Newcastle? I haven’t watched them for ages, they are very poor now, far too much falling off tackles
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Bristol are playing very well btw, but this looks like a semi-opposed training run
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Now it’s Janse van Rensberg’s turn to score. Starts with Naulago running either over or through defenders on the far wing. Then the ball is moved across the field, for JvR to score in the opposite corner.
47-7 and it’s half time.
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Bristol almost start the second half, like they did the first, but for butter fingers by Malins ruining a 3-man overlap inside the Newcastle 22.
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Oh, Virimi Vaketawa is starting to warm up on the Bristol bench. I’m sure that’s making Newcastle feel better.
A forward pass by Naulaga ruins Luatua’s apparent try. Shame, there was some lovely passing between McGintey and half his team-mates in the build up.
Never mind, Randall scores a minute or so later, after Ibitoye breaks the line. 54-7 50mins.
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Caulfield, the Bristol 5, reaches over a ruck, picks up the ball and then sets off into the Newcastle half. The break ends with it looking like Ibitoye scores in the corner, but it turns out the lock’s back foot was just offside.
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Bristol haven’t scored in 8mins. Boooo! Rubbish!
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Kieran Marmion, on for Randall, gets on the score sheet. Bristol get a scrum pen and put it in the corner. Capon peels off the back of the resulting maul and passes to his 9, who strolls in.
61-7. 61mins.
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Radwan almost scores his second. The Newcastle 10 puts a grubber into the Bristol 22, but it just rolls dead before the winger can get his hands to it. Radwan is now limping.
Another intercept try for Newcastle. Flat pass from Malins, just inside the Falcons half and Connon, the 10, shoots out the line to grab it. He has enough pace to score.
61-14 66mins.
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Slightly bizarre try for Bristol. Vaketawa gets the ball on the wing. He tries to offload the ball behind his back, but it hits one of the Newcastle tackler’s hands and bounces forwards (from a Bristol PoV) into the Falcons’ half. The only person to react is Heenan, the replacement lock. He gathers the ball and strolls over the line for a try.
66-14 70mins.
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70 points for Bristol. A series of pick and goes on the Newcastle line, then they spin it wide and van Rensberg is unopposed to score. 73-14 74mins.
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Jesus, the other Bristol replacement lock, Owen, has some wheels. He breaks from half way, knees pumping and is only caught inside the Newcastle 22. The move ends with Vaketawa scoring in the corner. van Rensberg kicks a beautiful conversion, sliding between the posts (he has a HUGE grin on his face). 80-14 78mins.
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It’s a long road from Bristol to Newcastle this evening
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I’ve just finished typing and Bristol score again. van Rensberg gets the ball on the far side of the pitch. He runs down the wing and pops it inside to Vaketawa. He juggles it a bit and then crosses the line. Conversion missed, final score 85-14. van Rensberg gets the Maro award.
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