Big rugby weekend too, with a lot on the line for the top 10 or so teams in the URC. Your results foretold:
Edinburgh v Munster: Edinburgh are in a must-win home game against Munster and come into the match on a three-game winning streak, although (with respect, nah, just joking) it’s only been against Zebre, Cardiff and Scarlets. Munster, on the other hand, are unbeaten since losing New Year’s Day and have thrashed Connacht at home and the Lions away after dispatching the Bulls at Loftus as well. One of the form (unsmiling Irish) teams and they’ll be good to sneak past Edinburgh.
Result: Munster by 4
Zebre Parma v Scarlets: Two pretty crappy sides who’ll gain no solace in consistency, when it’s going home empty-handed week in and out. Bald men fighting over a comb and all that. Zebre started the season with some agonisingly narrow losses, which could possibly have given them a boost to aim for higher up the table. But it wasn’t to be, and they’ve been hammered in recent weeks, with an average deficit of 32 points a match in their last three. Scarlets have been princely by comparison, losing only by about 11 a match over that period. Still, Zebre are overdue a win, it’s lazy ‘home-win punditry’ and this one would pull them off the bottom and above Scarlets (and the Drags).
Result: Zebre Parma by 2
Bulls v Benetton: The Bulls are a side that can really turn it on when they smell blood (and let’s face it, if your average Saffer can’t smell blood, they’ll batter something – not a Mars Bar – until blood spills, so they can smell it), and with a home semi still theoretically up for grabs, they’ll be at their beastly best. Benetton actually have the better recent record – three from their last four – and are also still well in the hunt for a last eight berth. A win on Saturday would probably be enough to secure a QF spot, but the Bulls will chuck everything at them and as they showed against the Warriors last weekend, when the mood takes them, they can be lethal. Saw my first opera at Loftus; this won’t be a day of song for the Italians.
Bulls by 27
Ospreys v Dragons RFC: The Ospreys can still theoretically make the top eight, if everyone above them loses their last two matches, which will be motivation enough for the men from Swansea. Might be stupid, but, you know, I’m sure their coach has been filling the airwaves with the usual guff about playing to the end, results going our way, blah blah. Battered by Leinster and the Bulls in the last couple of weeks (albeit after a fine win in Cape Town), they’re on a less-losing streak than the Doused Dragons. Only two wins this year (squeakers against the Scarlets and Zebre), suggests they’re more puff, than the magic.
Ospreys by 12
Lions v Glasgow Warriors: The Lions could really put the cat (cough) among the pigeons if they turn over Glasgow in their quest for an unlikely quarterfinal spot. Unlikely though, as the Lions have not been consistent enough this season (or any other for the last 7 years!), either dishing out hideous hidings, or being on the receiving end of brutal beatings. The Warriors showed against the Bulls last weekend that the altitude beast is a pussycat, roaring back in the last twenty to almost beat the hosts. They’re top of the table, have a wining culture this season and are damned difficult to beat. Should be a Glasgow win, quite easily actually, but….
Lions by 2
Connacht v Stormers: The Wesht is a wicked place to try to get a result, especially for Saffer sides, but as the Lions showed a few weeks ago, and down to 14 men to boot for most of the match, if you’re handling is good and you get quick ball to your strike runners, Connacht can be clobbered. The Stormers will be buoyed by their thrashing of the Drags last weekend and will look to add another Irish scalp this season after wins over Ulster and Leinster. Connacht got battered by Munster last weekend and have to go back to early January for a win against a top side – a Munster that were still finding their rhythm this season. Still a very difficult side to beat, but with places 5 to 8 so close, the Stormers will need to match the wind from the Wesht.
Stormers by 7
Sharks v Cardiff: Tricky one this, with many of the Sharks side to play Glos in the mini-Heini next weekend jetting out early. Should give the Diff a sniff, but they haven’t won since Santa Puff (see above) gave them a Boxing Day pressie. I’ve no idea what kind of Sharks combo will take to the field, but you feel that home ground advantage in what’s still a steamy Durban will see them home against a locked Diff. Nothing more to add, really.
Sharks by 8
Ulster v Leinster: A terrific Irish derby to finish the weekend with. Leinster will be hoping Glasgow get jolted in Jozi, giving them a shot at the top of the log again, whilst Ulster can still sneak a home semi, if others get stiffed (or not, as it were). Ulster have been patchy this season and have been involved in some very tight affairs (stop it, now) both for and against them. Leinster sent their U14 academy side to the land of sunshine and they got clobbered, but bounced back to batter the hapless Ospreys last weekend. It’ll be a hard, uncompromising match, with the visitors nosing ahead at the end. Sorry gracious host.
Leinster Rugby by 3
Bum steers by Deebee7
Onna telly this weekend
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Friday 17th May
| Zebre v Scarlets | 19:35 | BBC2 Wales / iPlayer / Premier Sports 2 |
| Edinburgh v Munster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Saturday 18th May
| Bulls v Treviso | 13:00 | PremierPlayer |
| Ospreys v Dragons | 15:00 | Premier Sports 2 |
| Lions v Glasgow | 15:05 | Premier Sports 1 |
| Bath v Northampton | 15:05 | TNT Sports Extra |
| Gloucester v Newcastle | 15:05 | TNT Sports Extra |
| Harlequins v Bristol | 15:05 | TNT Sports 2 |
| Leicester v Exeter | 15:05 | TNT Sports Extra |
| Saracens v Sale | 15:05 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Connacht v Stormers | 17:05 | RTÉ2 / Premier Sports 1 |
| Sharks v Cardiff | 17:15 | S4C / iPlayer / Premier Sports 2 |
| Ulster v Leinster | 19:35 | TG4 / Premier Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Big news here is that IRFU have decreed that provinces with players on Central Contracts will be expected to contribute up to 30% of contract value
This primarily impacts Leinster – who have 10 of the 13 CC (Beirne, Henderson, Aki are the others)
The “up to….” implies that Leinster won’t have a €1.5m hole punched in their budget from day 1. Essentially, we’re guessing that CCs average around 500k (Sexton, Furlong were probably well above this, and others would be less)
The main gripe on this (outside Leinster) is that 10 “free” players acted as an inflationary pressure on salaries. Provinces can’t outbid each other, but suspicion is that Leinster could out price any rivals on their 2nd layer by setting salaries higher than Connacht, Munster, or Leinster would offer for a player of that level or match any offers the other provinces could make.
Hence, lack of movement from Leinster. There’s been rumours in past few seasons that Deegan, Frawley, Penny (among notables) would move but essentially they sit tight because – it seems – they get as much at Leinster as they would elsewhere – so why move, even if you’d be starter or squad player at another club? Plus knowing the Leinster system seems to be a short cut to Irish recognition that players elsewhere don’t get.
Problem for the provinces is that they don’t have a free hand to get NIQs if they can’t get an Irish player to move. So, you see Leinster stockpiling players – Byrne, Byrne, Frawley, Tector, Prendergast – at 10 (as an example) where Connacht have the ageing out Carty and injured Hanrahan plus a couple of utility backs.
Ultimately, Leinster went out and hired Jordie Barrett the day after Sheehan and Gibson Park got their CCs and came off Leinster’s payroll. For sure, the negotiations went on behind scenes for a good while but Sheehan and Gibson Park had been expected to get CCs for a good while too – essentially it looked like they’d used the free money to get Barrett.
Hiring Snyman didn’t go down well either – Munster had to choose between Snyman and Kleyn as they couldn’t have 2 NIQ locks – Kleyn wasn’t NIQ when Snyman was hired. But somehow he wasn’t good enough to make the Irish panel but was good enough to play in final for SA. I don’t think anyone blames RG as given another year, he (and his wife) can apply for Irish passports.
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Henry Slade: what more can a guy do?
https://www.bbc.com/sport/rugby-union/articles/ckmm06m8ed5o
Most accurate off the tee (over 90%) plus 5 tries
Good lad!
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Ah!………..world stunned by my hero’s brilliance…………..
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Well, obviously.
That and the election campaign!
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election? ……………………. priorities, woman!
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C’mon SHARKS!
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🦈 🦈 🦈
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Should have had a yellow in the first few seconds. Then a high tackle. Now down to 14. Not a great start from Sharks. Given away 5 pens in 8 minutes.
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Glos started superbly, Sharks hanging on by their fingernails. Relentless so far. Fassi binned for a team yellow – could have been binned from the first play though anyway. And Glos knock on centimetres short!
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Glos scrum battered and the Sharks can clear and breathe.
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Etzebeth’s arms are bigger than most players’ legs.
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Sharks finally get some ball but knock it on. Ox Nche is murdering Balmain. Sharks going for posts. Masuku puts them ahead!
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That was a hell of a penalty by the Glaws 9.
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Glos still bossing territory, but they’re meeting fierce defence. Kick tennis eventually gets Glos a penalty. Carreras hooks it. But they get another bite of the, er, cherry 🍒 almost immediately at the breakdown. Engelfield knocks it over to level the scores.
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Buthelezi takes a lively delayed pass from Koch to storm over! Masuku adds the extras. 3-10. Sharks winning the aerial battle so far and get another penalty from the scrum. Sharks getting into their groove. Another penalty out front. 3-13 after 30.
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Glaws on a warning for the scrum – 4 penalties conceded, against 0 for the Sharks.
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Vincent Koch take a bow! Gets a 50-22 with a bludgeoned kick down the touchline. Glos win it against the throw! Sharks return the favour and get the scrum outside the 🍒 22. And penalty 4 from 4 scrums. Sharks going for posts…. bang! 3-16 with five to the break.
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Well frankly that’s bullshit. Glos player still caught him in the air. Anyway. Scrum Glos and finally not penalised! But they get knocked back in the tackle and concede the scrum. Nope Sharks knock. Send it wide, isolated and penalty Sharks.
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After a whirlwind start – unrewarded – Gloucester finished the half huddled on the pitch, somewhat stunned. Still well in it, and they’ll be happy in the knowledge that they survived the last two scrums and that the Sharks replacement front row is a pale imitation of the current one.
Glos trying to play it wide but getting tackled behind the advantage line too often. The Sharks started very slowly but have grown into the game as its gone on. Can they keep their defensive shape for another 40? Should be a great 2nd half!
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Gloucester with a brand new front row to start the 2nd half. And they win the penalty! Big moment! Lineout outside the Sharks 22. Go wide, but Grant Williams intercepts and Glos have to scramble back into their 22. Sharks penalty for offside. Messy drive, but they’re inching forwards until Glos turn it over! Good work at the breakdown.
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Glos pinged at the scrum for not engaging. It’s in front. 3-19 and the Sharks extend their lead. 30 to go.
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Masuku slots another for something I missed fetching a beer! 3-22.
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And they’re in again! Sharks chip ahead, Fassi gathers, Etzebeth with a great offload, Mapimpi held up short but numbers put wide and Fassi glides in under the posts. 3-29 and Gloucester are up against it big time.
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Not liking this. If the Sharks win and supposing we lose to Munster with no points, then there are three teams (Edinburgh, Treviso and Lions) who can overtake us in the URC, and we can only afford to drop one place.
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Well! From the restart they win a penalty and kick to the corner and power their way over! Tuisue the scorer. 10-29 with 22 still to go.
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Gloucester have been crap under the high ball all night, lose another in the air, Mapimps screams for the crossfield kick and it’s pinpoint perfect! 10-36 as Musuku refuses to miss his kicks.
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Nothing going the 🍒 way. Scrum done again, Williams boots it through and he’s interfered with on the chase. Masuku hooks it! I jinxed him!
Let’s talk elections: Rishi is a shoo-in to win.
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Stunning skills by Johnny May with a volley from the wing but looks like the score is getting chalked off. Literally nothing going their way. Back to defending on their 22. They win a penalty, kick it quickly, but Werner Kok reads it and sends it back. Sharks steal the lineout but knock on. Match is starting to lose its intensity.
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And then Gloucester show what they can do! From a free kick they put it through the hands with some lovely offloadsto score! 17-36 with three to go.
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Freddie Clarke finishes an end to end try to give the Gloucester fans something to savour! 22-36. Some desperate flinging about from behind their line but it comes to nothing and the Sharks win it! 🏆
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So we really need one or preferably two points against Munster at Thomond Park. (I am not even considering the possibility that we might win.)
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Munster gonna batter you. 30 points. You heard it here first…
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Nice prediction Deebs.
Congrats on the Ulster win Thaum!
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Thanks, BB!
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upshot of Glos not winning is that Leics and not Glos qualify for next season’s Champions Cup.
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Slade, it also means that whoever finishes 8th in the URC doesn’t qualify because the Sharks have that spot. Although not sure what happens if by some miracle that side won the Big Cup?
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Apologies, got my comps, rules and even seasons completely cocked up. Malawi is renowned as a producer of very high quality doobie. This is entirely unrelated and coincidental.
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Having goat chops and red wine for lunch. It’s not too far from Hero or Goat time. Who will be which one come the end of the 80 minutes?
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You’re right that the eighth-placed team in the URC doesn’t get into the Big Cup, though!
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I feel it in my water that G-P is going to have a great match
So, Toulouse by 11
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The roads round here are deserted as the population mixes good food and wine with post-prandial rugby
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Slade – d’you mean that he’ll get white line fever and try to go himself every time, thereby losing Leinster the match?
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Actually, he’s just put in a try-saving tackle.
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Leinster being very uncharacteristically sloppy.
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Sheehan’s playing out of his skin.
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Oof, what a 50-22!
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And breathe! That was 40 minutes of high octane stuff! Lots of mistakes, many forced, plenty nerves, but hell, Test match stuff.
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Both teams unusually sloppy. Must be because the opponent is so good at defending. Dupont is overdoing it, he should keep it simpler.
For my money, Leinster although trailing on the score board, have been the better team. With a bit more accuracy, bound to come, they should win this.
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Flown out my room like a Bok centre on defence (probably too quick off the mark) to grab a quick Malawi Gin and tonic between halves. The good man had given me a large tin of tonic so I’ll have to have two large gins before the 2nd half starts. Dog bless ‘im!
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Are we underway again?
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