The first week of November has come and gone – Diwali lit up the skies, Guy Fawkes (at least down here) Faded to Grey and Blondie wasn’t French Kissing in the USA, as she’d probably be pitchforked by the MAGA mob reprising their Halloween characters, whilst slobbering over their Freedom Fries and burning Kamala Harris in effigy, good, moral American-values folk that they are. So what next? Some Hemispheric Clashes, that’s what! Not just the usual North-South score settling, but some intriguing clashes between the emerging (or submerging in some cases) nations too. The Autumn Internationals are upon us, and we’ll be in the Joy Division, with plenty of Atmosphere:
Ireland v New Zealand
Kicking off proceedings on Friday night, two of the real heavyweights of world rugby at the moment in Ireland, ranked Number 1, and New Zealand, ranked number 3. If the Kiwis win and the Boks lose, the Blackness will be back on top of the world, improbable as that seemed a few short months ago. Ireland are a more settled side, at home, and desperate to avenge the loss in France last year and continue to be the best side between World Cups. Rest assured, nobody will walk away, in silence.
Score? Ireland by 5
Canada v Chile
A bit of a step down in class (difficult not to be!) with two sides trying to make it into the second tier of the global game. Canada have fallen Icarus-like from their heights of the 90s and are now scrapping it out with the likes of Chile below the second tier nations of Japan, Tonga, Samoa, Australia and the like. Chile, fairly battered at the World Cup last year (and by the ruthless, unsmiling Scots in July), have actually had a decent run in 2024, with only that loss so far to the Celtic Curmudgeons. Not much of a song, but Can-Canada do the Locomotion? Nope.
Score? Chile by 10
Spain v Uruguay
Another ‘emerging match’ between a Spanish side slowly making progress and getting the odd scalp (not as odd as Trump’s, mind), but also getting a bit battered by anyone decent. Good Spain beat Tonga and narrowly lost to Samoa on tour to the islands in July, and last year clobbered Canada, but got smashed by Argentina (nobody cried for them. Sorry) and the USA. Uruguay could be a growing side of note, having emerged from the World Cup with some credit – hammered by New Zealand, but not embarrassed by France or Italy and beating Namibia. They’ve built on that with decent displays against Scotland and France in July (although Argentina gave them a lovely, neighbourly beating). Should be a good match!
Score? Uruguay by 5
England v Australia
Ian Curtis coulda written Atmosphere for this match (if the respective fans stop singing Swing Low and Waltzing Matilda for a minute). Actually, it sums up the respective nations’ rugby philosophies at the moment:
Endless talking
Life rebuilding
Don’t walk away
Walk in silence
Don’t turn away, in silence
Your confusion
My illusion
However, the song is too beautifully painful and poignant to waste on this rabble, so Swing Low vs Waltzing Matila it’ll stay. Both sides are rebuilding (Sagrada Familia will be finished first) and bringing through stunning new talent like, um, Will Skelton and George Ford, so expect a clash of epic proportions, something akin to the Stonehenge set in Spinal Tap. No seriously, England will have too much for an Australian side playing with pride and mongrel and not much else.
Score? England by 10
Portugal v USA
Portugal were everyone’s second-favourite side after the Springboks last year, playing a brand of fearless, running rugby and delighting crowds along the way. They thumped the USA and drew with Georgia at the World Cup, and have beaten both Fiji and Namibia away this year. The USA, well, they’re crap. Not as crap as their election results, but pretty crap. And just to stick one to the Orange Furby, I’ll let Lou Reed get under his skin:
Donald came from Miami, F-L-A
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows along the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, “Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side”
Score? Portugal by 12
Romania v Tonga
I’m flagging a bit, to be fair, at this point, with no secretary to make coffee[Ed: make your own damn coffee; are you Trump?], so it’ll be brief: Romania had a miserable World Cup, getting thrashed by the Boks (quite rightly) and then suffered the indignity of Scottish one-upmanship and shipping 80+ points. Tonga battered them too, before a consolation victory over the USA. Oh, and even Canada beat them this year. Tonga should have way too much for them, but I did my Bru prediction before looking at the form book. Fuck.
Score? Romania by 3
Italy v Argentina
Two sides that are – hopefully – very much on the up. Italy had a great 6N, beating Scotland and Wales, drawing with France and coming within a whisker of England, only getting humped by the Unsmiling Irish. Solid July wins over Tonga and Japan, but up against an Argentina that beat the Kiwis and Boks and hammered Australia in the RC (should’ve beaten them twice). On their day, they’re irresistible, with a beguiling and bewitching combination of power, pace and panache, and frankly, the best side in the world to watch when on song. Sometimes the Fat Lady has laryngitis though.
Score? Argentina by 4
France v Japan
This’ll be pretty one-sided, and a good leg stretch for the French before the serious matches to follow. No point in bemoaning Japan’s fall from grace; it is what it is. Eddie Jones will doubtless be pitching up in Europe with music on his mind, but even Alphaville can’t save him:
You did what you did to me
Now, it’s history I see
Here’s my comeback on the road again
Things will happen while they can
I will wait here for my man tonight
It’s easy when you’re big in Japan
Score? France by 30
Wales v Fiji
Can Wales continue to be as bad as they’ve been lately? To paraphrase the last decent US President “YES THEY CAN!” That said, there’s been some encouraging displays from a couple of their URC sides recently, so they have the ingredients for a decent side, but just seem to be struggling to make much more than a flapjack with them. Will they be luxuriating in the Green, Green Grass of Home, or frantically Holding Out for a Hero come the final whistle? The former, for me, against a frustrating Fiji, who just don’t seem to be able to transfer the brilliance of their 7z into 15z consistently enough.
Score? Wales by 15
Scotland v South Africa
Already getting twitchy for this Sunday afternoon clash. This is a high-quality Scotland side, brimming with quality, talent and intent throughout, but particularly in the back division and the back row. Their kryptonite may be the tight five, especially the replacement forwards, given what they’re up against, but Glasgow in particular have come to the spiritual home of rugby and smashed, grabbed and clubbed their way to wins, so won’t fear much. Will Finn Russell be back in the saddle? Bok fans will hope to go full circle and see him Lose Control; back to you Ian:
Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She’s lost control
And she’s clinging to the nearest passerby
She’s lost control
A titanic struggle, for sure, with the Bok defence scrambling to contain the Scots backs and keep them within sight, until the bomb squad tilts the match in our favour.
Score? South Africa by 6
Top Trumps and Tunes by deebee7
Onna telly in the next week or so
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Friday 8th November
| Ireland v New Zealand | 20:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| England v Australia | 15:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Italy v Argentina | 17:40 | TNT Sports 2 |
| France v Japan | 20:10 | TNT Sports 2 |
Sunday 10th November
| Wales v Fiji | 13:40 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Scotland v South Africa | 16:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Bugger, missed the Wales try.
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Couple of penalties later, Wales are only 6 points down with 6 mins left in the first half.
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I’m 100% behind the ref completely dismissing Nic White’s whinging.
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Here we go again, Kerevi 20 minute red, fine no problem. Welsh nine hits Aus nine in face and it’s only a penalty.
It was a yellow
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In fact it wasn’t even a penalty was it? it was restarted as a scrum to Wales I think
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Aussies suddenly 20 points clear and they’re down to 14.
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The mitigation was that the Asutralian was Nic White.
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Sounds like I didn’t finish my tea fast enough.
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If that wasn’t forward it was brilliant from Botham
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That’s a shame for Botham. Great pickup& finish.
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It did look like the Aus uber-player threw a shoulder into a Welsh player’s head.
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Then he tried to clothesline Thomas, as he scored.
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Costello’s not bad, when he’s playing in the correct position.
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Getting worried about next weekend now.
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Aussies over 50. It’s a massacre!
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Now REALLY worried about next weekend.
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Wonder what Stephen Jones will write now?
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Some other bollocks, no doubt.
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Maybe next year’s Lionz tour isn’t going to be the walkover some pundits thought it might be.
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Wales vs Oz.
Ref awards a penalty to Oz, as Welsh tackler doesn’t roll away fast enough. Then ref considers the player was knocked out, changes his mind and only awards a scrum to Oz, as the guy knocked unconscious couldn’t possibly move away. Right. And then…no HIA for him, he even packs down in the scrum. What kind of joke is that?
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Twice?
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Tight games this week-end, not considering Scotland and Wales mismatches.
I don’t think England is that far from a good team. But they need to cut some dead wood and find some pace. Slade, Cole, Steward (ffs, Steward, what a conservative choice!) come to mind, but they’re not alone.
Ireland looked quite rusty, although it’s mostly the same players. But a win vs Argentina, even with so little to spare, shouldn’t be sniffed at.
France suffered and the game could’ve gone either way. Quite a roller coaster.
Italy were better than Georgia, but not by much.
Scotland B vs Portugal was a borefest of àislatch.
As for Wales…if the 6N need a team that play in red, let it be Georgia.
NZ not there yet, but my, they’re great to watch. And so are Oz and SA in such different ways.
Bring on next week!
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A steal with only 2 comments? Living off scraps here.
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Sorry Flair, I’ve tidied up and revoked the steal.
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Don’t let TJ take the drop goals
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Back in Joburg after a riotous weekend in Clarens near the Lesotho border at the annual Cherry Festival 🍒. It’s amazing fun, picking and eating as many as you want (in 30 minutes) and buying everything cherry related. Definitely overdid it; liver is quivering like a Welsh prop looking at the Bok teamsheet.
I was the only rugby fan (actually the only sports fan) in our group of six, so watched the matches on my own, running between the braai and the tele. Had massive arguments with myself over everything from the new kick laws to red cards – and won every single one of them. So I suppose I lost every single one of them too. Just had a hot toddy, which I’m not sure is correct for dehydration, but the whiskey was lovely.
Final thought on the Autumn Internationals, there is a very fine line between the two hemispheres. It’s called the equator.
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The view in Barnsley this morning
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Nice view! We have slightly more snow, but it’s turned to sleet now.
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Frosty and cold here in The Frozen North (Glasgow Division), but nae snaw.
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Back to big fat flakes again.
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No snow down here in the colonies, but damned cold! Dipped below 25C this morning.
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Refit, I love that view! As you may or may not recall, my son left SA for the Isle of Man when he was five and I spent the next 18 years flying to the UK every Christmas and New Year to be with him (as well as some summer holidays, actually), and I still haven’t quite got used to summer Christmases again, several years later. Walking through London and surrounds in late December, with the snow, rain and foreboding darkness was such a treat for me, which probably sounds weird to people who live with it on a daily basis. But the thing is, Europe is set up for this kind of weather – from the buildings and infrastructure, to the food. It’s brilliant to eat roasted chestnuts, drink mulled wine, salivate over roasts and Yorkshire pud, gravies and the like, seasonal winter veg etc. Same in continental Europe when I’ve been over in winters – magical!
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Eben & Snyman coming off the bench on 60mins? Terrifying.
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That bench is thing of brutal beauty! If you’ve not watched too much URC, keep an eye out for Cameron Hanekom as the bench loosie – he’s a very promising youngster, who’s had a great season with the Bulls. He’ll be the 12th new Bok cap this season as well. Others that have made their debuts this year include Edwill van der Merwe (wing), Jordan Hendrikse (fly-half), Ben-Jason Dixon (flank), Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu (fly half/utility back), Phepsi Buthelezi (loose frorward), Johan Grobbelaar (hooker), Jan-Hendrik Wessels (front row), Andre-Hugo Venter (front row), Ruan Venter (loose forward), Morne van den Berg (SH and fabulous human being) and Quan Horn (fullback).
Of those, I’d expect Hanekom, Sash F-M, Grobbelaar, van den Bergh and Horn to be regulars in the Bok side for the next cycle, van der Merwe and Hendrikse there or thereabouts, and Dixon, Wessels, Buthelezi and both Venter’s as fringe players.
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That “FS” in the bottom right hand corner of the team list pic could stand for “Fuck’s Sakes” if you are a Welsh fan
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Deebs, speaking of South Africans, ex-Shark Henco Venter has turned into a hell of a player at Glasgow. From a quiet start he’s turned into a go-to bench option that keeps you in the game. Franco Smith has turned him into a bit of a beast.
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“Cameron” Hanekom – pffft, yet another poach from Scotland
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Imagine if Andy Farrell was blooding new players like Rassie. Ireland would be more then Leinster+ 😏
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Refit, I see the Tom Jordan move the Bristol has been confirmed now. You are getting an extraordinary player who just seems to have no ceiling when it comes to improvement.
He came to Scotland on a jolly, to play some rugby whilst travelling. Covid meant that he couldn’t go home as planned and he caught someone’s eye at Glasgow whilst playing for Ayr. He was an out and out 12 who suddenly became Glasgow’s starting 10 and was a key player in taking Glasgow to the play offs and ultimately beating the Bulls away in South Africa in the final.
Last week he was awarded player of the match for Scotland whilst playing fullback! He’s played there maybe twice before.
He’s a bit like Johnny Wilkinson in that where he has a slight weakness, you wouldn’t bet against it becoming a real strength – his kicking from hand and from the tee isn’t right up there with the very best 10s, but it probably will be soon.
If Bristol play like they have been and want to run the ball, he will be a brilliant fit in the side.
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AJ McGinty has been doing a sterling job for Bristol, but we’ve really needed a good replacement for him, for a while. I can see Jordan fitting in well, based on seeing his Scotland appearance.
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Ticht – Cameron’s got Welsh ancestry (granny I think), so not a drop of Scots blood in him. And he laughed when a journo asked him if he considered a Welsh gig, being quite far down the pecking order last season. It was a self-effacing, humble laugh, but a giggle nonetheless.
Rumour has it that Franco Smith is back at the Sharks in 2026, bringing Henco Venter with him to bolster the somewhat lightweight Sharks loosies. Smith is being groomed to take over from Rassie after 2027.*
*I may have made some of this post up.
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Gregor Townsend has a year and a half left on his contract – April ’26.
I could see Smith taking over the Scotland gig after that
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Would Toonie not be Scotland coach into the next RWC in 2027, or would it be better to change before that to let Franco bed in?
Did see a comment somewhere that he could go to Wales. Don’t think any coach with any sense will go there just now. Would love Franco to stay with Glasgow, but there is a bit of a ceiling as to how much he can achieve there – probably making more of a mark in the European trophies would be next target.
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BB, it “just so happens” that Smith is contracted at Glasgow until the summer of ’26. Timing-wise, were he to take over at Murrayfield, it would give him the summer tour ’26, Autumn internationals that year, the next 6N and then the World Cup warm up before heading off to Australia.
He would already know the majority of the players from years at Glasgow.
I’m not saying it will happen, but I think the timing is fine, Toonie has been in the post a long time now, by the end of his current contract it will have been nine years.
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#Justice4Toonie!
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Imagine if Andy Farrell was blooding new players like Rassie
My opinion is that the England RWC winning team in 2003 peaked somewhere around the time they beat Ireland in the 6N and won that backs-to-the wall game in NZ with 13 men. They were sliding downhill quite quickly afterwards – still good enough to win but a few months later and a couple of retirements and they were struggling in 2004 6N
We may be in a similar situation with Ireland with respect to the win in SA. Certainly we’re looking sluggish. Now England did too prior to the last RWC, so maybe Aled Walters’
methods work that way, and it’ll look different by the 6N
As ever injury or force majeure leads Farrell to change – O’Toole gets a brain injury – so Clarkson gets a shot. Keenan opted for Olympic 7s – so Osborne slots in. I think the numbers of new players tried since 2022 is 12 vs 38 for SA
Yeah, there’s a bigger playing pool in SA but as someone said our playing pool must be quite deep if we can afford to supply 3 players to other test teams…..
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You can have Ben Healy back. Poor Ben, from being Finn’s stand-in and Edinburgh number 10, to starting on the bench for Scotland A against Chile.
Wonder if he’s regretting his decision?
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Ultimately, Healy probably doubled his money and played international rugby and at a world cup. And his mom was probably delighted to see him play for Scotland
Long term – he’d have been #2 at Munster to Crowley and probably just outside Ireland squads – so on balance it’s probably in the black. Farrell seems to prefer almost any Leinster 10 or part-time 10.
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