The first week of November has come and gone – Diwali lit up the skies, Guy Fawkes (at least down here) Faded to Grey and Blondie wasn’t French Kissing in the USA, as she’d probably be pitchforked by the MAGA mob reprising their Halloween characters, whilst slobbering over their Freedom Fries and burning Kamala Harris in effigy, good, moral American-values folk that they are. So what next? Some Hemispheric Clashes, that’s what! Not just the usual North-South score settling, but some intriguing clashes between the emerging (or submerging in some cases) nations too. The Autumn Internationals are upon us, and we’ll be in the Joy Division, with plenty of Atmosphere:
Ireland v New Zealand
Kicking off proceedings on Friday night, two of the real heavyweights of world rugby at the moment in Ireland, ranked Number 1, and New Zealand, ranked number 3. If the Kiwis win and the Boks lose, the Blackness will be back on top of the world, improbable as that seemed a few short months ago. Ireland are a more settled side, at home, and desperate to avenge the loss in France last year and continue to be the best side between World Cups. Rest assured, nobody will walk away, in silence.
Score? Ireland by 5
Canada v Chile
A bit of a step down in class (difficult not to be!) with two sides trying to make it into the second tier of the global game. Canada have fallen Icarus-like from their heights of the 90s and are now scrapping it out with the likes of Chile below the second tier nations of Japan, Tonga, Samoa, Australia and the like. Chile, fairly battered at the World Cup last year (and by the ruthless, unsmiling Scots in July), have actually had a decent run in 2024, with only that loss so far to the Celtic Curmudgeons. Not much of a song, but Can-Canada do the Locomotion? Nope.
Score? Chile by 10
Spain v Uruguay
Another ‘emerging match’ between a Spanish side slowly making progress and getting the odd scalp (not as odd as Trump’s, mind), but also getting a bit battered by anyone decent. Good Spain beat Tonga and narrowly lost to Samoa on tour to the islands in July, and last year clobbered Canada, but got smashed by Argentina (nobody cried for them. Sorry) and the USA. Uruguay could be a growing side of note, having emerged from the World Cup with some credit – hammered by New Zealand, but not embarrassed by France or Italy and beating Namibia. They’ve built on that with decent displays against Scotland and France in July (although Argentina gave them a lovely, neighbourly beating). Should be a good match!
Score? Uruguay by 5
England v Australia
Ian Curtis coulda written Atmosphere for this match (if the respective fans stop singing Swing Low and Waltzing Matilda for a minute). Actually, it sums up the respective nations’ rugby philosophies at the moment:
Endless talking
Life rebuilding
Don’t walk away
Walk in silence
Don’t turn away, in silence
Your confusion
My illusion
However, the song is too beautifully painful and poignant to waste on this rabble, so Swing Low vs Waltzing Matila it’ll stay. Both sides are rebuilding (Sagrada Familia will be finished first) and bringing through stunning new talent like, um, Will Skelton and George Ford, so expect a clash of epic proportions, something akin to the Stonehenge set in Spinal Tap. No seriously, England will have too much for an Australian side playing with pride and mongrel and not much else.
Score? England by 10
Portugal v USA
Portugal were everyone’s second-favourite side after the Springboks last year, playing a brand of fearless, running rugby and delighting crowds along the way. They thumped the USA and drew with Georgia at the World Cup, and have beaten both Fiji and Namibia away this year. The USA, well, they’re crap. Not as crap as their election results, but pretty crap. And just to stick one to the Orange Furby, I’ll let Lou Reed get under his skin:
Donald came from Miami, F-L-A
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows along the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, “Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side”
Score? Portugal by 12
Romania v Tonga
I’m flagging a bit, to be fair, at this point, with no secretary to make coffee[Ed: make your own damn coffee; are you Trump?], so it’ll be brief: Romania had a miserable World Cup, getting thrashed by the Boks (quite rightly) and then suffered the indignity of Scottish one-upmanship and shipping 80+ points. Tonga battered them too, before a consolation victory over the USA. Oh, and even Canada beat them this year. Tonga should have way too much for them, but I did my Bru prediction before looking at the form book. Fuck.
Score? Romania by 3
Italy v Argentina
Two sides that are – hopefully – very much on the up. Italy had a great 6N, beating Scotland and Wales, drawing with France and coming within a whisker of England, only getting humped by the Unsmiling Irish. Solid July wins over Tonga and Japan, but up against an Argentina that beat the Kiwis and Boks and hammered Australia in the RC (should’ve beaten them twice). On their day, they’re irresistible, with a beguiling and bewitching combination of power, pace and panache, and frankly, the best side in the world to watch when on song. Sometimes the Fat Lady has laryngitis though.
Score? Argentina by 4
France v Japan
This’ll be pretty one-sided, and a good leg stretch for the French before the serious matches to follow. No point in bemoaning Japan’s fall from grace; it is what it is. Eddie Jones will doubtless be pitching up in Europe with music on his mind, but even Alphaville can’t save him:
You did what you did to me
Now, it’s history I see
Here’s my comeback on the road again
Things will happen while they can
I will wait here for my man tonight
It’s easy when you’re big in Japan
Score? France by 30
Wales v Fiji
Can Wales continue to be as bad as they’ve been lately? To paraphrase the last decent US President “YES THEY CAN!” That said, there’s been some encouraging displays from a couple of their URC sides recently, so they have the ingredients for a decent side, but just seem to be struggling to make much more than a flapjack with them. Will they be luxuriating in the Green, Green Grass of Home, or frantically Holding Out for a Hero come the final whistle? The former, for me, against a frustrating Fiji, who just don’t seem to be able to transfer the brilliance of their 7z into 15z consistently enough.
Score? Wales by 15
Scotland v South Africa
Already getting twitchy for this Sunday afternoon clash. This is a high-quality Scotland side, brimming with quality, talent and intent throughout, but particularly in the back division and the back row. Their kryptonite may be the tight five, especially the replacement forwards, given what they’re up against, but Glasgow in particular have come to the spiritual home of rugby and smashed, grabbed and clubbed their way to wins, so won’t fear much. Will Finn Russell be back in the saddle? Bok fans will hope to go full circle and see him Lose Control; back to you Ian:
Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She’s lost control
And she’s clinging to the nearest passerby
She’s lost control
A titanic struggle, for sure, with the Bok defence scrambling to contain the Scots backs and keep them within sight, until the bomb squad tilts the match in our favour.
Score? South Africa by 6
Top Trumps and Tunes by deebee7
Onna telly in the next week or so
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Friday 8th November
| Ireland v New Zealand | 20:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| England v Australia | 15:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Italy v Argentina | 17:40 | TNT Sports 2 |
| France v Japan | 20:10 | TNT Sports 2 |
Sunday 10th November
| Wales v Fiji | 13:40 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Scotland v South Africa | 16:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Imagine if Andy Farrell was blooding new players like Rassie
Farrell – probably scalded by the RWC 2015 experience with England and his early days with Ireland – sees his job as one thing – win games now.
I see him like one of those Italian soccer coaches – like Conte – they arrive , look at th e players and how they fit to their preferred style, raise hell until they get 3 or 4 new heads who can slot in. They’re gone in 2 to 3 years – so there’s little enough player developement which is a whole different person (DoF)
So, Farrell can’t buy in players but he plugs gaps with next nearest option – generally, that is a Leinster player as they’re used to the system. Sometimes that means a very inexperienced head – but system fit trumps all.
As a Munster follower – Coombes stats dominate the URC, carries, tackles, metres made. The difference is that he’s not a carrier in wide channels (like Doris, Conan) but closer in to 9. He’d either need to be developed to play there or Ireland tweak their style of play. Farrell doesn’t regard that as his remit.
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Wonder how he’s going to cope with the Lionz (not Deebee’s Lions) then. Will he just do a Gatland and pick ‘his’ players, even if they’re not in good form? Realise there’s still a 6N to go, and if Ireland win it or get a Grand Slam, then he might just do that. Though I can’t see that happening, reckon France and maybe England (if they click) will be favourites.
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Ireland for the weekend
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A much better side, imo!
Ireland (v Fiji):
15. Jamie Osborne (Naas/Leinster)(4)
14. Mack Hansen (Corinthians/Connacht)(23)
13. Robbie Henshaw (Buccaneers/Leinster)(75)
12. Bundee Aki (Galwegians/Connacht)(58)
11. Jacob Stockdale (Lurgan/Ulster)(37)
10. Sam Prendergast (Lansdowne/Leinster)(1)
9. Craig Casey (Shannon/Munster)(16)
Replacements:
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Some advice for Yosoy ducks
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(not Deebee’s Lions)
Dodged a big bullet there, did Farrell.
Really looking forward to France-Argentina tonight, although with a 10pm kick-off our time, it means pacing myself again on a Friday night, never a particularly strong point of mine. Hoping for the match of the AIs from these two – they’re more than capable of it!
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Wonder how he’s going to cope with the Lionz
On one hand – Farrell is good at man management (generally), so handling a wel defined squad should suit.
On the other – he seems to have issues with blending players who don’t play to a particular system. From a non-Leinster viewpoint, he seems to prefer 2nd or 3rd choice players who are familiar with the Leinster style to 1st choices players elsewhere who can’t slot in for van der Flier or Doris or Ringrose (as random names)
Won’t stop him picking Itoje, Tuipolotu, or …struggling for a Welsh name…. but might stop him picking Earl (as a high profile name) who wouldn’t fit the backrow roles Farrell wants.
I’d expect – 6N disaster excepting – a heavy Leinster presence.
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There seems to be an assumption that all the Boks have to do is pitch up at the Millennium Stadium and do the anthems and handshakes and that’s that. That kind of overconfidence and hubris has been our demise too often in the past. That said, Rassie has been at pains to develop the Boks mentally, as much as the physical and tactical side and to buy into an ethos of excellence at every moment (went a bit runny against England), so it shouldn’t be an issue tomorrow.
I don’t think there’s anything to be gained by saying Wales will be desperate to turn things around – they’ve been desperate to do that all year, without coming up with the goods. With the roof closed (I think), there’s no weather leveller either. We’ve got Etzebeth, Snyman, Marx etc coming off the bench to rub it in. Everything points to a comfortable Bok win. So why am I mentally pacing around in my head?
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Kleyn oot! Eben’s starting.
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First Ox Nche cried off, now Jean Kleyn. Boks dropping like flies, with rookie Etzebeth into the 2nd row. Wales by -18.
1st glass of wine is going down sooooo well! Looking forward to the match later!
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First Ox Nche cried off, now Jean Kleyn. Boks dropping like flies, with rookie Etzebeth into the 2nd row. Wales by -18.
1st glass of wine is going down sooooo well! Looking forward to the match later!
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2nd glass evaporated whilst I was braaiing. 3rd one is stunning. Looking forward to the match! Can they get it going already?
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I was surprised Nche was named as didn’t he look a bit fucked when he went off last week?
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Oh no – that was the other prop.
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Glass 4. Sumptuous. Ox had a bad cut above his knee (yes he has knees, you’d be hard pressed to cut him near his ‘neck’) so Boks decided to rest him after all. Kleyn got the Munster curse.
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Reminds me of the old Vern Cotter comment out WP Nel.
“He’s out with a neck injury. Which is news to us, we didn’t know he had a neck”
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Dupont doesn’t have a neck either.
Is it similar to cat-faced players?
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Another prop injured early on. Going to create a gap in the French defence, towards the end?
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That yellow seemed a bit harsh, but I suppose if they’re trying to limit injuries to lower legs from ruck clear outs then it maybe needs to happen.
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How the hell is dumping someone on their head not worthy of a card? The fact that he saved himself with his arm is irrelevant.
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BB – yes, the ‘croc roll’ seemed a lot less bad than the over-the-shoulder throw.
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Ha, my rusty French has just fallen victim to a (sort-of) false cognate. The hustings were advertising Nouveaux maillots disponibles, and I thought, New disposable kit? Then I remembered that disponible means ‘available’….
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Very good French try!
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Who needs Penaud when you can just stick in another little fast guy with a red hat?
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Good patience from France! Important score close to the break. Argentina need to score something before half time.
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penalty try there, imo
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It was a weird one because I think it was actually a knock-on. But he’s earned a yellow card and penalty try anyway.
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Penalty try! Pretty sure the French wing was never getting the ball, but dumb to just tap it into touch like that. Hmm maybe not, looking at the replay from behind the tryline.
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France purring at the break.
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Ooh, that didn’t look pleasant, for the winger. But then he’s fine.
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I love that there were at least 3 things that needed checking, after that Arg maul, and we’ve seen none of them.
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Gallic televisual editing.
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I’ve been a huge fan of Fickou over the years, but I feel it’s time to move on. Flair, is Costes injured at the moment? He’s looked terrific any time I’ve seen him
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Wow – what a try from the young fella!
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Ohh, that was nice from France!
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It’s impressive how French TV manage to cut away from a replay, just as something that might need a check occurs.
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Refit – but there will be lovely slo-mo, then speeded-up, replays of delectable French play.
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Refit, once and for all: this sort of baseless accusation is getting tedious. The TMO in the obie van has all the angles and all the time to check them. Whether in France or even in – here insert your own- or your least favourite- country. I know, because I’ve been there now many times.
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Flair – of course the TMO has all the angles, and that was proven near the end. It’s just that the broadcaster often chooses not to show unfavourable plays.
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Thaum, I find it a bit sad that the talking point would be the French TV rather than the game itself. And it wasn’t bad, was it?
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Well, I thought that was a poor performance from Dupont by his ridiculous standards. I don’t know why, maybe an better analyst than me can see the reason – elsewhere French fans are saying it was down to having Ramos at 10, which I don’t really follow to be honest – Ramos doesn’t make the 9 crab across the park and have the opposition scrum half steal the ball from him.
I like Olivon at 8, to be honest I like him in the back row whatever number he has on his shirt.
As mentioned before, I’d like to see Costes given a run, elsewhere Bordeaux’s Depoortere was also listed as a possible alternative
Barre looks the part at this level.
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Flair – I enjoyed the spectacle, and I do love to watch France play (Argentina aren’t bad either, except when they’re playing us), but it has to be said that the French video provided can be … eccentric.
I think the BBC do the best job of filming sport. The commentators sometimes drive me mad, but you at least get to see all the replays, not just the ones that are favourable to the home side.
There’s also a factor of them not being shown in the stadium itself, which may influence the ref.
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Dupont has not played well since his return to XV. He acts as if he was still playing the 7 version. I thought he’d be subbed when Le Garrec came on but Galthié like him at 10 as well. Time for Dupont to be seriously lectured by Mola at Toulouse.
What Galthié is good at though is at poking the bear. Benching Ollivon was a smart move and Le Grand Charles ( as the French like to call him, after De Gaulle nickname) came back much better. Same will apply to Alldritt.
Costes as well as Depoortere were injured. France have serious depth except at prop.
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“Costes as well as Depoortere were injured.”
Ah, okay, thanks Flair
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For some reason there was a load of arguing, on Bluesky, whether Gonzales actually knocked the ball on and if it should have been a pen try or not.
I thought it was pretty obvious from the live pictures and only reinforced by the replays?
Wonky clip selections by the broadcaster aside, that was a fun but chaotic game. France could probably have exerted a lot more control than they did. At the same time Argentina did waste(?) a few chances, where they could have gone wide and broken down field.
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Thought Pearce explained it fairly clearly. If he’d knocked the ball in the direction he was facing, it would have been ok, but “his hand was facing in the direction of the other try line” and it went out of play.
If he’d knocked it back over the dead ball line, would that have been a scrum to France?
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I think so BB and yeah, I thought it was all very clear.
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“If he’d knocked it back over the dead ball line, would that have been a scrum to France?”
Only if he’d kicked it – you can’t intentionally throw, pass or hit the ball out of play. Darcy Graham v English hooker springs to mind, the hooker intentionally batted the ball out of play when he and Graham contested a high ball. In that case, like this, you treat the offending player as if he wasn’t there and ask if the attacker probably would have scored a try. In Graham’s case the answer was yes, as was last night.
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All about Sam Prendergast, who is being handed his first senior start today: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/articles/c9wreqr18z5o
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