The first week of November has come and gone – Diwali lit up the skies, Guy Fawkes (at least down here) Faded to Grey and Blondie wasn’t French Kissing in the USA, as she’d probably be pitchforked by the MAGA mob reprising their Halloween characters, whilst slobbering over their Freedom Fries and burning Kamala Harris in effigy, good, moral American-values folk that they are. So what next? Some Hemispheric Clashes, that’s what! Not just the usual North-South score settling, but some intriguing clashes between the emerging (or submerging in some cases) nations too. The Autumn Internationals are upon us, and we’ll be in the Joy Division, with plenty of Atmosphere:
Ireland v New Zealand
Kicking off proceedings on Friday night, two of the real heavyweights of world rugby at the moment in Ireland, ranked Number 1, and New Zealand, ranked number 3. If the Kiwis win and the Boks lose, the Blackness will be back on top of the world, improbable as that seemed a few short months ago. Ireland are a more settled side, at home, and desperate to avenge the loss in France last year and continue to be the best side between World Cups. Rest assured, nobody will walk away, in silence.
Score? Ireland by 5
Canada v Chile
A bit of a step down in class (difficult not to be!) with two sides trying to make it into the second tier of the global game. Canada have fallen Icarus-like from their heights of the 90s and are now scrapping it out with the likes of Chile below the second tier nations of Japan, Tonga, Samoa, Australia and the like. Chile, fairly battered at the World Cup last year (and by the ruthless, unsmiling Scots in July), have actually had a decent run in 2024, with only that loss so far to the Celtic Curmudgeons. Not much of a song, but Can-Canada do the Locomotion? Nope.
Score? Chile by 10
Spain v Uruguay
Another ‘emerging match’ between a Spanish side slowly making progress and getting the odd scalp (not as odd as Trump’s, mind), but also getting a bit battered by anyone decent. Good Spain beat Tonga and narrowly lost to Samoa on tour to the islands in July, and last year clobbered Canada, but got smashed by Argentina (nobody cried for them. Sorry) and the USA. Uruguay could be a growing side of note, having emerged from the World Cup with some credit – hammered by New Zealand, but not embarrassed by France or Italy and beating Namibia. They’ve built on that with decent displays against Scotland and France in July (although Argentina gave them a lovely, neighbourly beating). Should be a good match!
Score? Uruguay by 5
England v Australia
Ian Curtis coulda written Atmosphere for this match (if the respective fans stop singing Swing Low and Waltzing Matilda for a minute). Actually, it sums up the respective nations’ rugby philosophies at the moment:
Endless talking
Life rebuilding
Don’t walk away
Walk in silence
Don’t turn away, in silence
Your confusion
My illusion
However, the song is too beautifully painful and poignant to waste on this rabble, so Swing Low vs Waltzing Matila it’ll stay. Both sides are rebuilding (Sagrada Familia will be finished first) and bringing through stunning new talent like, um, Will Skelton and George Ford, so expect a clash of epic proportions, something akin to the Stonehenge set in Spinal Tap. No seriously, England will have too much for an Australian side playing with pride and mongrel and not much else.
Score? England by 10
Portugal v USA
Portugal were everyone’s second-favourite side after the Springboks last year, playing a brand of fearless, running rugby and delighting crowds along the way. They thumped the USA and drew with Georgia at the World Cup, and have beaten both Fiji and Namibia away this year. The USA, well, they’re crap. Not as crap as their election results, but pretty crap. And just to stick one to the Orange Furby, I’ll let Lou Reed get under his skin:
Donald came from Miami, F-L-A
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows along the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, “Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side”
Score? Portugal by 12
Romania v Tonga
I’m flagging a bit, to be fair, at this point, with no secretary to make coffee[Ed: make your own damn coffee; are you Trump?], so it’ll be brief: Romania had a miserable World Cup, getting thrashed by the Boks (quite rightly) and then suffered the indignity of Scottish one-upmanship and shipping 80+ points. Tonga battered them too, before a consolation victory over the USA. Oh, and even Canada beat them this year. Tonga should have way too much for them, but I did my Bru prediction before looking at the form book. Fuck.
Score? Romania by 3
Italy v Argentina
Two sides that are – hopefully – very much on the up. Italy had a great 6N, beating Scotland and Wales, drawing with France and coming within a whisker of England, only getting humped by the Unsmiling Irish. Solid July wins over Tonga and Japan, but up against an Argentina that beat the Kiwis and Boks and hammered Australia in the RC (should’ve beaten them twice). On their day, they’re irresistible, with a beguiling and bewitching combination of power, pace and panache, and frankly, the best side in the world to watch when on song. Sometimes the Fat Lady has laryngitis though.
Score? Argentina by 4
France v Japan
This’ll be pretty one-sided, and a good leg stretch for the French before the serious matches to follow. No point in bemoaning Japan’s fall from grace; it is what it is. Eddie Jones will doubtless be pitching up in Europe with music on his mind, but even Alphaville can’t save him:
You did what you did to me
Now, it’s history I see
Here’s my comeback on the road again
Things will happen while they can
I will wait here for my man tonight
It’s easy when you’re big in Japan
Score? France by 30
Wales v Fiji
Can Wales continue to be as bad as they’ve been lately? To paraphrase the last decent US President “YES THEY CAN!” That said, there’s been some encouraging displays from a couple of their URC sides recently, so they have the ingredients for a decent side, but just seem to be struggling to make much more than a flapjack with them. Will they be luxuriating in the Green, Green Grass of Home, or frantically Holding Out for a Hero come the final whistle? The former, for me, against a frustrating Fiji, who just don’t seem to be able to transfer the brilliance of their 7z into 15z consistently enough.
Score? Wales by 15
Scotland v South Africa
Already getting twitchy for this Sunday afternoon clash. This is a high-quality Scotland side, brimming with quality, talent and intent throughout, but particularly in the back division and the back row. Their kryptonite may be the tight five, especially the replacement forwards, given what they’re up against, but Glasgow in particular have come to the spiritual home of rugby and smashed, grabbed and clubbed their way to wins, so won’t fear much. Will Finn Russell be back in the saddle? Bok fans will hope to go full circle and see him Lose Control; back to you Ian:
Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She’s lost control
And she’s clinging to the nearest passerby
She’s lost control
A titanic struggle, for sure, with the Bok defence scrambling to contain the Scots backs and keep them within sight, until the bomb squad tilts the match in our favour.
Score? South Africa by 6
Top Trumps and Tunes by deebee7
Onna telly in the next week or so
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Friday 8th November
| Ireland v New Zealand | 20:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| England v Australia | 15:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Italy v Argentina | 17:40 | TNT Sports 2 |
| France v Japan | 20:10 | TNT Sports 2 |
Sunday 10th November
| Wales v Fiji | 13:40 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Scotland v South Africa | 16:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
The weather in Sale is absolutely awful. It looks like movie rain, coming down in sheets across the stadium lights – proper Manchester weather. Sale are making the most of it and are currently beating The Racists 14-3.
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Exeter get a try and the scorer, Jimmy Roots, also gets the Jack Nowell ‘Terrible Lid’ award of the night.
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Lovely try by Connacht! Patience, good hands and understanding. 17-12 to Leinster, but they’re defending a lot. And then get a penalty.
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Comfortable away win for Bath at Newcastle in windy conditions. 15-40. Bath back on top of the log.
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Connacht had a 15 minute period where they should’ve put Leinster to the sword, but it’s Leinster and you just don’t do that. 20-12 in the end to Leinster, great effort by Connacht, but come away pointless.
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Ooh, Bath & Bristol on equal points, but Bath with one more win.
I wonder how much longer Baxter will be at Exeter? They’re properly welded to the bottom of the table.
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Somehow they’ve condensed the Bristol match down to 4 minutes
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I might be completely wrong (usually am), but I think Baxter will stay at Exeter. He’s totally hollowed out the championship winning team and is now focussing on bringing through youngsters. Can’t remember if there is relegation this year, but if there isn’t, that might give him the time to build the team up again.
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The weather in Sale seems to have made its way over the Pennines. It’s now blowing an absolute gale outside.
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On my way to the Wild Coast region of SA for the next couple of weeks. Internet access is (blissfully) as dodgy as Saffer refereeing during the 74 Lions tour, so probably won’t be on here much, to the relief of many, I’m sure. Hope you and your families all have a fabulous Christmas and New Year, hope Santa ignores all your indiscretions from the year and that 2025 is a banger of a year! 🥳🍺
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Enjoy yourself, Deebs!
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All the best Debbie, and to all Ovallyballers too.
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Have a good time Deebs.
Just about to join 25,000+ others for The Mighty Champion Weedge against The Other Lot at Hampden. Pretty good crowd considering they were originally hoping for about 15,000 tickets sold. OK, its not Leinster vs Munster with 80,000, but pretty decent rugby crowd for Glasgow on the last Sunday before Christmas.
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All the best Debbie
Thanks Heidi!
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Have fun BB!
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Hope your trip is less squished than mine currently is* Deebee, have a lovely Xmas.
*On the train from Sheffield to Bristol at the moment. At Birmingham New Street, the woman on the PA has just told people still trying to get on, to go to Cheltenham, “stop it, there’s another train in 10 mins”. I’m glad a booked a ticket with extra leg room (and chose to take a small suitcase), as I’ve had to sit with my case between my legs for the first half.
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I didn’t see the Wesht play yesterday, but Mac Hansen isn’t happy
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More comfortable victory over The Other Lot than the 33-14 scoreline suggests. Apart from two close range tries in the last 5 minutes from Venter (EXACTLY the same from pick and go’s – Franco won’t be happy) and one Duhan run, Edinburgh offered nothing.
Glasgow are a team that know what they are doing and how to go about it, Edinburgh…. aren’t.
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Eye gouging:
Julien Dupuy : 28 weeks.
David Attoub: 70 weeks.
A long time ago.
Stafford McDowall: 3 weeks.
Hcup game, Glasgow vs Toulon one week ago.
The images are easy to find.
What’s wrong with the new panel?
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Eye gouging:
Julien Dupuy : 28 weeks.
David Attoub: 70 weeks.
A long time ago.
Stafford McDowall: 3 weeks.
Hcup game, Glasgow vs Toulon one week ago.
The images are easy to find.
What’s wrong with the new panel?
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@ticht
While it’s not the done thing to openly criticise refs – Hansen is probably saying what everyone outside Leinster thinks – they get big calls.
This is then bound up with this is Busby – who is not a good ref to begin with – who seems to be dropped in it by his TMO regularly.
Missed a dog shot by Barrett on Aki at a ruck in this match – gave the usual “if there’s anything the TMO will let me know….” but somewhere that link is broken.
Similar – Connacht vs Munster in Jan 2024 – shoulder to head on Jager by Bealham – Jager was out concussion – nothing. Ralston – in from side on Jack O’Donoghue – off with a knee injury. Ralston got a yellow – citing commissioner upgraded to red. To add balance, Hansen left the field after a tackle from Hodnett – though that was a shoulder injury as a result of a clearout. Not head or lower limb.
Cian Prendergast (Connacht captain) basically told Busby that he only reacted when the crowd ooh-and-aahed.
Busby was also guilty in last Leinster / Munster game of whistling for a marginal forward pass – ball went to Nash is ran it from 10 m – that close you can let play run on and look at the footage. Would have made score 21-14. Meanwhile, fairly obvious knock on was missed in the opening Leinster try
At times, I wonder what the ARs are doing – apart from getting the best view of the game.
I know the general consensus is that Irish refs aren’t good – it’s made worse by Leinster producing no-one and the 3 or 4 others are all Munster – Brace, Cross, Murphy. So, the push is on Busby – from Ulster – who isn’t up to it (yet) Might be useful to dispatch him off to TMO duties for an extended period – like Whitehouse
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@flair
But Dupuy and Attoub are filthy, cheating French…
And the usual excuse is that McDowall “isn’t that kind of player”
Caveat – I’d missed this and haven’t seen the footage
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OK, seen the footage now – not great.
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Could that ref on the panel be the same guy who TMOed in Leinster?
Joking aside, I think the emphasis rightly put on the YCs/RCs, head contacts and al have made the pro game much safer. Some offenses will always be missed but when they have all the time in the world and all the images how do the citing commissionners miss stuff like this? Hmmmm….
Are you saying I could be wrong?
Merde alors….
Joyeux Noël to all of you, wonderful bunch.
Have fun.
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Could that ref on the panel be the same guy who TMOed in Leinster?
Joking aside, I think the emphasis rightly put on the YCs/RCs, head contacts and al have made the pro game much safer. Some offenses will always be missed but when they have all the time in the world and all the images how do the citing commissionners miss stuff like this? Hmmmm….
Are you saying I could be wrong?
Merde alors….
Joyeux Noël to all of you, wonderful bunch.
Have fun.
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Could that ref on the panel be the same guy who TMOed in Leinster?
Joking aside, I think the emphasis rightly put on the YCs/RCs, head contacts and al have made the pro game much safer. Some offenses will always be missed but when they have all the time in the world and all the images how do the citing commissionners miss stuff like this? Hmmmm….
Are you saying I could be wrong?
Merde alors….
Joyeux Noël to all of you, wonderful bunch.
Have fun.
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Wow, that’s a Xmas steal, and don’t ask me how I did it.
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Flair, as far as I remember the Dupuy one was bad, he had two goes at Ferris. I don’t remember the Attoub one but presumably he had previous? Anyway, it seems from Google that Ferris was the recipient again in that incident.
For McDowall, as ever there are three entry levels and McDowall’s was deemed to be the lowest. Then it was mitigated down because he has never been sent off or cited before.
I’ve bored everyone on AoD, the Guardian and now Ovallyballers with my views on gouging, I hate it, it’s cowardly and it’s never penalised heavily enough.
However there are times where it can be seen as accidental but still careless and in McDowall’s case it was just that, he was juggling for the ball with the opponent, but as with head contact we have to penalise it.
Strangely enough there was an incident just before the November tests where Glasgow were playing the Sharks in South Africa and Eben Etzebeth made an extremely similar contact with a Glasgow player and of course there was no citing and no ban.
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Trisk, it’s not just Leinster, I’ve seen Edinburgh be the beneficiaries of some woeful calls, embarrassingly bad and usually against the Italian teams.
I’ve also seen Edinburgh get done over against the apparently stronger teams.
The standard of refereeing in the URC is very poor and it doesn’t even out over the course of a season, the bigger teams get a much easier ride, especially where momentum winning/killing is concerned, ie, scrums, offside in defence and at the breakdown.
It’s a lot better than it used to be, mind, but it still has a way to go imo.
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@flair
Joyeux Noel to you – Nollaig shona duit!
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Thanks Trisk.
Am getting ready for it. Actually doing not much as I did a Refit ten days ago. Fell not from my bed but from the scooter. Broken shoulder (and some ribs to spare) keeps me blissfully unable to shop etc… But am still in charge of the cooking. Was unable to uncork a wine bottle until yesterday, but all is fine now.
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Thanks Trisk.
Am getting ready for it. Actually doing not much as I did a Refit ten days ago. Fell not from my bed but from the scooter. Broken shoulder (and some ribs to spare) keeps me blissfully unable to shop etc… But am still in charge of the cooking. Was unable to uncork a wine bottle until yesterday, but all is fine now.
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It seems to be very dangerous to be an OvallyBaller lately! I hope that you have had someone to open the wine for you, Flair. And joyeux noël!
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Was unable to uncork a wine bottle until yesterday
Oh, this sounds very bad indeed! Glad you are on the mend – presumably getting back to the golf course is the target?
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Ouch! Hope you’re recovery is easier than mine was Flair. At least you’ve got access to wine now.
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Thks all.
It’s not too bad, mostly bones. No tendons nor ligaments injured apparently. I have previous on both shoulders and the rehab took 6 months each time. Seems much quicker this time.
And I have a good soul by my side to take care of the wine, if need be.
Enjoy your day.
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And yes Trisk, the goal is to get back to the golf course ASAP. I know I shouldn’t rush it but I’ve always done it. I’ll pretend it’s part of the rehab.
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Blues Birthdays Slight Return
Cab Calloway, born 25th of December 1907. Never knowingly understated 🙂
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate, peace and love to those who don’t.
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Have a dance.
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Merry Christmas to all Ovallyballers and to anyone else that stumbles upon this little corner of t’interwebs!
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Happy feasting day, all!
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Dragons off to a good start against Cardiff – Wainwright over with a good run off a lineout
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Dyer in for another – cross kick, then Dyer used good footballing skills to dink it forward and dive on the ball for the score
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Direct head contact on the Dragons nine from two Cardiff players results in a penalty only – bizarre
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Did I miss anything?
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Getting back to it after a total laptop crash – long story
All the very best to everyone for 2025!!
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Seasons Greetings Slade
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Hello, Slade – glad to see you!
Do you want me to edit the name from your post?
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Thaum – you old seductress…………….
Yes please!
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