The first week of November has come and gone – Diwali lit up the skies, Guy Fawkes (at least down here) Faded to Grey and Blondie wasn’t French Kissing in the USA, as she’d probably be pitchforked by the MAGA mob reprising their Halloween characters, whilst slobbering over their Freedom Fries and burning Kamala Harris in effigy, good, moral American-values folk that they are. So what next? Some Hemispheric Clashes, that’s what! Not just the usual North-South score settling, but some intriguing clashes between the emerging (or submerging in some cases) nations too. The Autumn Internationals are upon us, and we’ll be in the Joy Division, with plenty of Atmosphere:
Ireland v New Zealand
Kicking off proceedings on Friday night, two of the real heavyweights of world rugby at the moment in Ireland, ranked Number 1, and New Zealand, ranked number 3. If the Kiwis win and the Boks lose, the Blackness will be back on top of the world, improbable as that seemed a few short months ago. Ireland are a more settled side, at home, and desperate to avenge the loss in France last year and continue to be the best side between World Cups. Rest assured, nobody will walk away, in silence.
Score? Ireland by 5
Canada v Chile
A bit of a step down in class (difficult not to be!) with two sides trying to make it into the second tier of the global game. Canada have fallen Icarus-like from their heights of the 90s and are now scrapping it out with the likes of Chile below the second tier nations of Japan, Tonga, Samoa, Australia and the like. Chile, fairly battered at the World Cup last year (and by the ruthless, unsmiling Scots in July), have actually had a decent run in 2024, with only that loss so far to the Celtic Curmudgeons. Not much of a song, but Can-Canada do the Locomotion? Nope.
Score? Chile by 10
Spain v Uruguay
Another ‘emerging match’ between a Spanish side slowly making progress and getting the odd scalp (not as odd as Trump’s, mind), but also getting a bit battered by anyone decent. Good Spain beat Tonga and narrowly lost to Samoa on tour to the islands in July, and last year clobbered Canada, but got smashed by Argentina (nobody cried for them. Sorry) and the USA. Uruguay could be a growing side of note, having emerged from the World Cup with some credit – hammered by New Zealand, but not embarrassed by France or Italy and beating Namibia. They’ve built on that with decent displays against Scotland and France in July (although Argentina gave them a lovely, neighbourly beating). Should be a good match!
Score? Uruguay by 5
England v Australia
Ian Curtis coulda written Atmosphere for this match (if the respective fans stop singing Swing Low and Waltzing Matilda for a minute). Actually, it sums up the respective nations’ rugby philosophies at the moment:
Endless talking
Life rebuilding
Don’t walk away
Walk in silence
Don’t turn away, in silence
Your confusion
My illusion
However, the song is too beautifully painful and poignant to waste on this rabble, so Swing Low vs Waltzing Matila it’ll stay. Both sides are rebuilding (Sagrada Familia will be finished first) and bringing through stunning new talent like, um, Will Skelton and George Ford, so expect a clash of epic proportions, something akin to the Stonehenge set in Spinal Tap. No seriously, England will have too much for an Australian side playing with pride and mongrel and not much else.
Score? England by 10
Portugal v USA
Portugal were everyone’s second-favourite side after the Springboks last year, playing a brand of fearless, running rugby and delighting crowds along the way. They thumped the USA and drew with Georgia at the World Cup, and have beaten both Fiji and Namibia away this year. The USA, well, they’re crap. Not as crap as their election results, but pretty crap. And just to stick one to the Orange Furby, I’ll let Lou Reed get under his skin:
Donald came from Miami, F-L-A
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows along the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, “Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side”
Score? Portugal by 12
Romania v Tonga
I’m flagging a bit, to be fair, at this point, with no secretary to make coffee[Ed: make your own damn coffee; are you Trump?], so it’ll be brief: Romania had a miserable World Cup, getting thrashed by the Boks (quite rightly) and then suffered the indignity of Scottish one-upmanship and shipping 80+ points. Tonga battered them too, before a consolation victory over the USA. Oh, and even Canada beat them this year. Tonga should have way too much for them, but I did my Bru prediction before looking at the form book. Fuck.
Score? Romania by 3
Italy v Argentina
Two sides that are – hopefully – very much on the up. Italy had a great 6N, beating Scotland and Wales, drawing with France and coming within a whisker of England, only getting humped by the Unsmiling Irish. Solid July wins over Tonga and Japan, but up against an Argentina that beat the Kiwis and Boks and hammered Australia in the RC (should’ve beaten them twice). On their day, they’re irresistible, with a beguiling and bewitching combination of power, pace and panache, and frankly, the best side in the world to watch when on song. Sometimes the Fat Lady has laryngitis though.
Score? Argentina by 4
France v Japan
This’ll be pretty one-sided, and a good leg stretch for the French before the serious matches to follow. No point in bemoaning Japan’s fall from grace; it is what it is. Eddie Jones will doubtless be pitching up in Europe with music on his mind, but even Alphaville can’t save him:
You did what you did to me
Now, it’s history I see
Here’s my comeback on the road again
Things will happen while they can
I will wait here for my man tonight
It’s easy when you’re big in Japan
Score? France by 30
Wales v Fiji
Can Wales continue to be as bad as they’ve been lately? To paraphrase the last decent US President “YES THEY CAN!” That said, there’s been some encouraging displays from a couple of their URC sides recently, so they have the ingredients for a decent side, but just seem to be struggling to make much more than a flapjack with them. Will they be luxuriating in the Green, Green Grass of Home, or frantically Holding Out for a Hero come the final whistle? The former, for me, against a frustrating Fiji, who just don’t seem to be able to transfer the brilliance of their 7z into 15z consistently enough.
Score? Wales by 15
Scotland v South Africa
Already getting twitchy for this Sunday afternoon clash. This is a high-quality Scotland side, brimming with quality, talent and intent throughout, but particularly in the back division and the back row. Their kryptonite may be the tight five, especially the replacement forwards, given what they’re up against, but Glasgow in particular have come to the spiritual home of rugby and smashed, grabbed and clubbed their way to wins, so won’t fear much. Will Finn Russell be back in the saddle? Bok fans will hope to go full circle and see him Lose Control; back to you Ian:
Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She’s lost control
And she’s clinging to the nearest passerby
She’s lost control
A titanic struggle, for sure, with the Bok defence scrambling to contain the Scots backs and keep them within sight, until the bomb squad tilts the match in our favour.
Score? South Africa by 6
Top Trumps and Tunes by deebee7
Onna telly in the next week or so
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Friday 8th November
| Ireland v New Zealand | 20:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| England v Australia | 15:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Italy v Argentina | 17:40 | TNT Sports 2 |
| France v Japan | 20:10 | TNT Sports 2 |
Sunday 10th November
| Wales v Fiji | 13:40 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Scotland v South Africa | 16:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
I’ve tuned in to Toulouse v Stade Français – no Dupont unfortunately, he has a heavy cold.
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Morning, one and all! Last day of 2024! I hope that it’s been a decent to good or excellent year for everyone on this dinghy, some personal injuries notwithstanding and that 2025 will be a great one for all of us. Have a fabulous New Year and I look forward to another year of great rugby and even better banter and camaraderie! Cheers!🍾🥂
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Bristol have a new (temporary) fly half – Harry Byrne from Leinster.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/articles/c8xj21jg5pxo
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I saw that, Refit! Unlucky you.
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It’s better than only having a senior academy player or converted centre playing there 🤷♂️.
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We did all right with one of those this weekend!
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Bristol will get a major upgrade anyway next season when Tom Jordan joins.
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Happy New Year Ovallyballers!
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Happy new year, all!
We’ve used a bottle of ersatz champagne that was given as a present some months ago, which I thought would be absolutely horrible (I’m not a big fan of fizzy drinks in general), but which is actually quite drinkable. Turns out it’s from South Africa, which will please Deebee.
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Which estate was it from, Thauma? There are some superb sparkling wines here, others not so much.
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Deebee – Graham Beck. Know it?
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Yes! It’s pretty good – was used at one of the Brit royal events last year or the year before. It’s Mrs Deebee’s bubbly of choice here.
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I was very impressed with it!
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Hi all – Happy New Year!
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@thaum
The “hound trailing” you referred to a few days back – it’s called “drag hunting” in these parts. You “drag” a scented cloth and the hounds follow it. Not sure, it’s as popular as it was once…
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After Ryan has thrown the ball off the ground
Yeah, that was quite egregious. Just gotten back to 14-7, and there you go.
Biggest issue Munster have is lack of size/power in the front 5 – partly due to injuries, partly due to aging out of Ryan, Scannell, Archer, Kilcoyne (and lack of upcoming replacements is another story of an non-functioning academy in the mid 2010s).
As a result, the option is to go wide quickly. Handling errors make that look a bad choice and result in scrums where the ref rewards Leinster wheeling it etc etc – kick to the corner, and maul-related try x 4 (notwithstanding the desperate pillar defence for the 1st try and wretched tackling for the second)
Disaapointing because Daly ought to score from the Burns grubber, and Coombes probably ought to get in from the crossfield kick – so these are sliding doors moments.
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@thaum
Ulster did well with a fairly youthful team – young Murphy did well (I liked him last year with Irish U20s – old school, small 10, decent kicker). McCann as ever stood out and McNabney was good. Timoney probably good choice as MotM.
Connacht try was a bit of a mess – 3 Ulstermen get in each other’s way. Otherwise, ye kept Connacht quiet.
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Byrne might go well at Bristol – maybe a precursor for a permanent move.
He’s #3 at Leinster behind the brother and Prendergast – and the new hype child Gabriel expected to make the academy next season
It’s an issue in Irish rugby, that Leinster are stockpiling players (demographics dictate they’ll have bigger numbers plus the fee-paying school churn out lots of well rounded players compared to Munster and Connacht at least)
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Trisk – yes, I know there is hound trailing in Munster, whether by another name or not! It’s not too healthy in Cumbria either; I’m told young people are not getting into it.
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Bugger, Sarries 2-tries up after 15mins.
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I missed the Bristol try, so I thought I’d ‘press red’ to get the extra features, like key moments – they keep shouting about it every other ad break.
Faffed around for a couple of minutes, activating Discovery+, only to find out if doesn’t seem to be active for this match.
I hate technology.
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There’s a break in play, as Jamie George has broken the studs on one of his boots and is looking for a new pair.
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FFS! Itoje just ran half the length of the pitch, evading Bristol tackles. Then Sarries manage to get the ball to Willis, who scores in the corner.
22-7 to Sarries at half time
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Better Bristol than before Xmas, scoring 4 tries. Unfortunately Saracens scored 5. Just missed out on the LBP too, with Byrne’s final kick going over the upright.
Final score 35-26
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Just missed out on the LBP too, with Byrne’s final kick going over the upright.
Told ya you’d love him.
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Yesterday a full strenght La Rochelle at home had to wait until the 80th minute to kick the winning penalty vs Toulouse. When Toulouse showed up with a team whose average age was 22 yo, all players from the academy, captaained by Baille who hadnt okayed for 7 months. Toulouse were resting their big guns before flying to SA to face the Sharks (don’t get me started on this!).
The good news for LaR? It was the 100th consecutive time the stadium was sold out.
The bad news? The Toulouse kids cruelly exposed LaR current weaknesses. Leinster will finally savour the sweet taste of revenge.
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Yesterday a full strenght La Rochelle at home had to wait until the 80th minute to kick the winning penalty vs Toulouse. When Toulouse showed up with a team whose average age was 22 yo, all players from the academy, captaained by Baille who hadnt okayed for 7 months. Toulouse were resting their big guns before flying to SA to face the Sharks (don’t get me started on this!).
The good news for LaR? It was the 100th consecutive time the stadium was sold out.
The bad news? The Toulouse kids cruelly exposed LaR current weaknesses. Leinster will finally savour the sweet taste of revenge.
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Yesterday a full strenght La Rochelle at home had to wait until the 80th minute to kick the winning penalty vs Toulouse. When Toulouse showed up with a team whose average age was 22 yo, all players from the academy, captaained by Baille who hadnt okayed for 7 months. Toulouse were resting their big guns before flying to SA to face the Sharks (don’t get me started on this!).
The good news for LaR? It was the 100th consecutive time the stadium was sold out.
The bad news? The Toulouse kids cruelly exposed LaR current weaknesses. Leinster will finally savour the sweet taste of revenge.
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Bit of a disappointment for Ilona Maher’s debut for Bristol. She didn’t really get a chance to do anything, apart from a couple of tackles and shoring up some rucks.
Also, Bristol got tonked 17-40 by Gloucester-Hartpury.
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My sister and her wife did get a photo with Ilona after the game though.
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How do you manage to do that Flair?
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With a lot of Flair.
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I don’t know how Flair does it either: if I try to post the same comment again, it won’t let me!
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I desperately try to post only once. But my comments won’t appear – or would they, with a delay? – if I don’t obey the demand that I provide my email adress and username again and then I have to log in.
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I don’t know why it does that if you have the ‘remember me’ box ticked, unless you delete your cookies every time you close the browser?
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Another test.
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Flair, i think you meant another Test win for the Proteas. 7 on the bounce. France needs to start playing cricket to get some decent competition into the sport. Maybe England too, strange that they don’t seem to take it seriously.
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Cricket? What next? Darts, pool, curling?
Think I understand why the double or triple posts. It’s called brain slowing, probably due to aging. Was writing before logging in, pressed “comment” , was then asked to log in in order to be able to, and naturally had to press “comment” again. Sometimes twice.
Let’s see…
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Ah-ha!
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Jesus, what a cunt.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2025/jan/09/former-scotland-rugby-union-captain-stuart-hogg-sentenced-after-admitting-domestic-abuse
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Hogg should stay off the drink, maybe then he can start to make amends for his atrocious behaviour.
Here it looks like we may lose our games to frozen pitches. I’ve really enjoyed being part of my hometown club again, we’ve been going well.
I was really looking forward to our game tomorrow because we lost the last fixture in a hilarious display – or it would be funny if it wasn’t so bad. Just to give an illustration, our scrum was absolutely marmalising the opposition but we got penalised every time, it wasn’t wheeling, we were shunting them back 5m or more and they were falling apart. Our tighthead got frustrated and was binned for talking back to the ref. He was kept off the park for very nearly 18 minutes.
The same guy was penalised again for a thunderous tackle at the very end. There was nowt wrong with it. The resulting penalty won the game for the opposition. Every area of the match was like that.
The opposition subs were embarrassed during the game, avoiding eye contact with us who had traveled to watch.
The ref joined the opposition for their celebration song after the match – all circled with arms over each other’s shoulders.
The club put in a complaint to the SRU – this is pretty much unprecedented. When he heard this, the ref put in a counter complaint about one of our coaches. Nothing will come of it
real rugby update ends/
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Blwyddyn newydd dda, Bawb! On the countdown for the 6N… Feeling very pessimistic about England’s prospects, of course, but looking forward to it nonetheless. I have managed to do the mental shift of accepting that Scotland are pretty good (only about 5 years behind the play) so not dreading the inevitable loss to them too much, and in fact slightly hoping they might win the thing if we can’t. No doubt my tribal loyalties will kick in when the first ball is kicked, though!
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Sharks: 15 Hakeem Kunene, 14 Yaw Penxe, 13 Ethan Hooker, 12 Francois Venter, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Jordan Hendrikse, 9 Jaden Hendrikse, 8 Siya Kolisi (c), 7 Manu Tshituka, 6 Phepsi Buthelezi, 5 Jason Jenkins, 4 Corne Rahl, 3 Vincent Koch, 2 Bongi Mbonambi, 1 Ox Nche
Replacements: 16 Dylan Richardson, 17 Ruan Dreyer, 18 Trevor Nyakane, 19 Lappies Labuschagne, 20 Vincent Tshituka, 21 Nick Hatton, 22 Bradley Davids, 23 Jurenzo Julius
Toulouse: 15 Thomas Ramos, 14 Blair Kinghorn, 13 Pierre-Louis Barassi, 12 Santiago Chocobares, 11 Matthis Lebel, 10 Romain Ntamack, 9 Antoine Dupont (c), 8 Jack Willis, 7 Anthony Jelonch, 6 François Cros, 5 Emmanuel Meafou, 4 Thibaud Flament, 3 Dorian Aldegheri, 2 Peato Mauvaka, 1 Rodrigue Neti
Replacements: 16 Julien Marchand, 17 Cyril Baille, 18 Joel Merkler, 19 Joshua Brennan, 20 Leo Banos, 21 Paul Graou, 22 Juan Cruz Mallia, 23 Ange Capuozzo
That could get very ugly if Toulouse get over the travel.
Hiya Dab, hope all is well.
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About to head out of my nice cozy house to the iceblock that is Scotstoun to watch The Mighty Glasgow Warriors get a step closer to the next round of the Not-As-Good-As-It-Used-To-Be Champions Cup.
Just need to go and add another few layers…..
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Bonne Chance BB – Glasgow score after 2 minutes
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Not-so-sneaky scrum-half try by Horne!
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Weedge out the blocks pretty sharpish!
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And now a non-sneaky scrum-half try by Jamie Dobey (sp?), as Horne’s gone off for an HIA.
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Refit, I’ve just finished a crime thriller by Cate Quinn, The Clinic, about a rehab institution. It’s drug & alcohol rehab rather than physical, but one of the characters finds that their previously-dislocated shoulder comes in handy when they need to escape from being tied up by baddies.
And that’s the third Glasgow try, not by a scrum-half, for Glasgow!
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Slightly dodgy try for Racing.
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