The first week of November has come and gone – Diwali lit up the skies, Guy Fawkes (at least down here) Faded to Grey and Blondie wasn’t French Kissing in the USA, as she’d probably be pitchforked by the MAGA mob reprising their Halloween characters, whilst slobbering over their Freedom Fries and burning Kamala Harris in effigy, good, moral American-values folk that they are. So what next? Some Hemispheric Clashes, that’s what! Not just the usual North-South score settling, but some intriguing clashes between the emerging (or submerging in some cases) nations too. The Autumn Internationals are upon us, and we’ll be in the Joy Division, with plenty of Atmosphere:
Ireland v New Zealand
Kicking off proceedings on Friday night, two of the real heavyweights of world rugby at the moment in Ireland, ranked Number 1, and New Zealand, ranked number 3. If the Kiwis win and the Boks lose, the Blackness will be back on top of the world, improbable as that seemed a few short months ago. Ireland are a more settled side, at home, and desperate to avenge the loss in France last year and continue to be the best side between World Cups. Rest assured, nobody will walk away, in silence.
Score? Ireland by 5
Canada v Chile
A bit of a step down in class (difficult not to be!) with two sides trying to make it into the second tier of the global game. Canada have fallen Icarus-like from their heights of the 90s and are now scrapping it out with the likes of Chile below the second tier nations of Japan, Tonga, Samoa, Australia and the like. Chile, fairly battered at the World Cup last year (and by the ruthless, unsmiling Scots in July), have actually had a decent run in 2024, with only that loss so far to the Celtic Curmudgeons. Not much of a song, but Can-Canada do the Locomotion? Nope.
Score? Chile by 10
Spain v Uruguay
Another ‘emerging match’ between a Spanish side slowly making progress and getting the odd scalp (not as odd as Trump’s, mind), but also getting a bit battered by anyone decent. Good Spain beat Tonga and narrowly lost to Samoa on tour to the islands in July, and last year clobbered Canada, but got smashed by Argentina (nobody cried for them. Sorry) and the USA. Uruguay could be a growing side of note, having emerged from the World Cup with some credit – hammered by New Zealand, but not embarrassed by France or Italy and beating Namibia. They’ve built on that with decent displays against Scotland and France in July (although Argentina gave them a lovely, neighbourly beating). Should be a good match!
Score? Uruguay by 5
England v Australia
Ian Curtis coulda written Atmosphere for this match (if the respective fans stop singing Swing Low and Waltzing Matilda for a minute). Actually, it sums up the respective nations’ rugby philosophies at the moment:
Endless talking
Life rebuilding
Don’t walk away
Walk in silence
Don’t turn away, in silence
Your confusion
My illusion
However, the song is too beautifully painful and poignant to waste on this rabble, so Swing Low vs Waltzing Matila it’ll stay. Both sides are rebuilding (Sagrada Familia will be finished first) and bringing through stunning new talent like, um, Will Skelton and George Ford, so expect a clash of epic proportions, something akin to the Stonehenge set in Spinal Tap. No seriously, England will have too much for an Australian side playing with pride and mongrel and not much else.
Score? England by 10
Portugal v USA
Portugal were everyone’s second-favourite side after the Springboks last year, playing a brand of fearless, running rugby and delighting crowds along the way. They thumped the USA and drew with Georgia at the World Cup, and have beaten both Fiji and Namibia away this year. The USA, well, they’re crap. Not as crap as their election results, but pretty crap. And just to stick one to the Orange Furby, I’ll let Lou Reed get under his skin:
Donald came from Miami, F-L-A
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows along the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, “Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side”
Score? Portugal by 12
Romania v Tonga
I’m flagging a bit, to be fair, at this point, with no secretary to make coffee[Ed: make your own damn coffee; are you Trump?], so it’ll be brief: Romania had a miserable World Cup, getting thrashed by the Boks (quite rightly) and then suffered the indignity of Scottish one-upmanship and shipping 80+ points. Tonga battered them too, before a consolation victory over the USA. Oh, and even Canada beat them this year. Tonga should have way too much for them, but I did my Bru prediction before looking at the form book. Fuck.
Score? Romania by 3
Italy v Argentina
Two sides that are – hopefully – very much on the up. Italy had a great 6N, beating Scotland and Wales, drawing with France and coming within a whisker of England, only getting humped by the Unsmiling Irish. Solid July wins over Tonga and Japan, but up against an Argentina that beat the Kiwis and Boks and hammered Australia in the RC (should’ve beaten them twice). On their day, they’re irresistible, with a beguiling and bewitching combination of power, pace and panache, and frankly, the best side in the world to watch when on song. Sometimes the Fat Lady has laryngitis though.
Score? Argentina by 4
France v Japan
This’ll be pretty one-sided, and a good leg stretch for the French before the serious matches to follow. No point in bemoaning Japan’s fall from grace; it is what it is. Eddie Jones will doubtless be pitching up in Europe with music on his mind, but even Alphaville can’t save him:
You did what you did to me
Now, it’s history I see
Here’s my comeback on the road again
Things will happen while they can
I will wait here for my man tonight
It’s easy when you’re big in Japan
Score? France by 30
Wales v Fiji
Can Wales continue to be as bad as they’ve been lately? To paraphrase the last decent US President “YES THEY CAN!” That said, there’s been some encouraging displays from a couple of their URC sides recently, so they have the ingredients for a decent side, but just seem to be struggling to make much more than a flapjack with them. Will they be luxuriating in the Green, Green Grass of Home, or frantically Holding Out for a Hero come the final whistle? The former, for me, against a frustrating Fiji, who just don’t seem to be able to transfer the brilliance of their 7z into 15z consistently enough.
Score? Wales by 15
Scotland v South Africa
Already getting twitchy for this Sunday afternoon clash. This is a high-quality Scotland side, brimming with quality, talent and intent throughout, but particularly in the back division and the back row. Their kryptonite may be the tight five, especially the replacement forwards, given what they’re up against, but Glasgow in particular have come to the spiritual home of rugby and smashed, grabbed and clubbed their way to wins, so won’t fear much. Will Finn Russell be back in the saddle? Bok fans will hope to go full circle and see him Lose Control; back to you Ian:
Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She’s lost control
And she’s clinging to the nearest passerby
She’s lost control
A titanic struggle, for sure, with the Bok defence scrambling to contain the Scots backs and keep them within sight, until the bomb squad tilts the match in our favour.
Score? South Africa by 6
Top Trumps and Tunes by deebee7
Onna telly in the next week or so
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Friday 8th November
| Ireland v New Zealand | 20:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| England v Australia | 15:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Italy v Argentina | 17:40 | TNT Sports 2 |
| France v Japan | 20:10 | TNT Sports 2 |
Sunday 10th November
| Wales v Fiji | 13:40 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Scotland v South Africa | 16:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Bristol men take the lead again. Lahiff with a short drive, after a stopped maul.
21-17
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Good step and strength by the Exeter 15, Tessier, to score 24-38.
In the men’s, Harding, the 7, breaks the line in front of the posts and Thacker is on his shoulder to score. 28-17
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Wow, the Exeter 14 just did a little step and then totally did Maher on the outside to score. 31-41.
Maher is subbed, she had a very good first start, I thought.
Another try to the Bristol men (missed what happened). 35-17.
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Bloody hell. Exeter change their front row and just shove Bristol backwards, off their own ball. That was scary impressive.
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What an end to the Women’s match. Exeter spent what felt like half an hour (it was about 90secs) picking & driving up to the Bristol line. A hell of a defensive shift results in Bristol turning the ball over with 30 seconds to go. They pick & go themselves, to run the clock down, but a player gets isolated and Exeter get the ball back with 8 seconds left.
They throw the ball wide, but Bristol get some defenders there and the winger is tackled, Bristol get the ball back again and boot it off the park to win. Final score 31-41.
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Ooh, Benetton have a try ruled out, in the 78th minute, because of an obstruction in the midfield. Bristol clear to half way, but then concede a scrum with 90 seconds left.
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Benetton can’t get past the half way line and Bristol defensive pressure eventually results in a turn over with a couple of seconds left. Ravouvou tries to make a break but is stopped and Bristol put the ball into touch to win 35-29.
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Oof, LAR lose to Leinster 14-16. They had a charged down drop goal attempt on 79:56 and then spent 2 1/2 mins trying to work some space or buy a penalty to win, before knocking on and ending the match
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Hmm. Bath v Clermont, or Dregs v Pau???
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Well, the Clermont LH just got a red after 20 minutes for the most technical foul this season. It ticked the boxes whilst ignoring the reality of the tackle situation. My view was penalty and maybe a yellow at worst.
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Red card for a Clermont prop, on 25 mins, for head contact (Dayglo vehemently disagrees). Bath already lead 14-7 and score a 3rd shortly after. Going to be a long evening for Clermont.
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Then again, it’s worth watching for Finn Russell alone. He’s pulling the strings tonight. 21-7 to Bath after 30 minutes.
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Refit, I’m not Dayglo. Let’s keep this civil.
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Whatever you say Lawrence…
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Well some good games today. Toulon had little difficulty containing Quins endless recycling of the ball in front of their defence and although they had very little possession they scored their fourth try before HT. 2 well taken quick tries by Quins made me believe the come back was on, but Toulon immediately answered and that was it.
Leinster did about the same as Toulon to contain LaR and were worthy winners, albeit by 2 points only. Gripping game.
Then a pretty harsh RC ended the contest in Bath. Bath scored 2 lovely tries in the first ten minutes, Clermont got one from close range and then a pretty harsh RC ended the contest in Bath. Dickinson was in charge and I think he should face the music.
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Meant Adamson, not Dickinson, sorry.
Forgot to say Finn was a joy to watch, as usual. The ” Pro” moaned about the Irish (or was it England) seemingly not having fun when they played but that’s one thing you can’t say about Russell. I hope he’ll enjoy a long career.
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Ilona Maher’s debut try for Bristol. Woof!
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Refit, she’s had a lot of press coverage and now I see why – that was Lomu-esque, there is no higher compliment in my book.
Flair, I personally think that referees should give that as a red card every day, rather than mealy-mouthed mitigating down headshots to yellow or even penalties only. A French fan on another board talked about Aldritt saying to a referee, “Don’t talk to us about player safety anymore” after a headshot went unpunished.
Players have to learn to tackle lower.
As for playing with a smile on faces, did you see the Glasgow v Racing game on Friday?
If you or anyone else want to watch scintillating back play, some of the handling Glasgow displayed in the first half was probably the best I’ve ever seen, no exaggeration.
This happens every year, some Scottish players so a bit of form – Finn, Tuipulotu, Jones, Kinghorn all hitting their straps. We know how Van der Merwe steps up about five notches when playing big games, Darcy Graham is Darcy Graham.
So we get all excited and say yet again, “This is our year”
Then the reality of the 6N hits, yet again.
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Ticht, I saw that game and Glasgow were very slick indeed. Great back line work. Tuipolatu on another planet.
Am all in favour of protecting the players of course, but there are RC offenses and there are RC offenses. I know its hard to make the right decision but that one for me only warranted a YC at most. Again we’ve all seen much worse offenders get scot free and I don’t know how to get consistency so Ill keep shtum.
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Oh no! Just found out that my avatar cat is longer with us. Neighbour found him at the bottom of their stairs yesterday (well, he was HER cat) and hurried him to the vet. Turns out he had blood clots in his back legs and nothing could be done.
Such a shame, he was very much a ‘personality’ cat.
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Sorry to hear that, BB. Condolences to your neighbours.
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Itoje replaces George as England skipper for the 6N. I suppose that’s that, then. Grand Slam at a canter.
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My work bestie, who is a Bath fan, is mystified at only 3 Bath players in the squad.
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‘Cos all the best Bath players aren’t English?
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Sorry to hear about the communal cat, BB.
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Ticht’s grassroots report prompts me to give one of my occasional updates on how my three lads are getting on.
Eldest is playing with the U18.5s along with middle child (who hasn’t yet made it onto the field due to a broken collarbone – from a soccer match in September). He’s playing 10 this year – having been at 9 in
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…the two previous seasons. His primary instinct is to run everything – so far he’s racked up 14 tries in 11 matches – but his tactical and place kicking are improving. U18.5 are in last 16 of Munster again – I think they’ll end up in the plate though. Squad are heavily reliant on U17s for forwards, and get found out against the teams with an older age profile.
Our best win this season was before Christmas – facing opposition with a much bigger pack – like Leinster, they scored a try every time they could kick a penalty into our 22. A bit of magic from our 10 and 13 meant we were only 19-17 down at half time, and took the lead shortly after. Then we decided to boot everything downfield and make them chase back. we got a penalty just outside the 22 and one smart lad suggested taking 3 – success and we were 8 up. A second and third pen came along we repeated the dose – 14 up and game safe.
I’m hoping to see #2 son play this weekend alongside his brother – trouble is – he’s also a 10. I don’t think he’ll start but might make sense to move the older to 9 and get him some game time. He’s more than likely to be the 10 next season but he needs to get used to this level now.
Youngest is with the U16s – also into last 16 in Munster. As a U15 he’s only getting a few mins here and there at LH or lock. Again, he needs to play to get used to the speed and physicality of this level.
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Good win for Munster at the weekend – Saracens not quite the machine of old, but for a while it was reminiscent of Coventry 2019 with all the kicking and taps back.
Blueler caught them napping at the ruck for the first try – and we’ll have to tell Hodnett that the victory roll comes after you score the try
(I recall something similar when he was with Ireland U20s – when tap tackled he did a kind of head over heels and landed back on his feet and kept running)
Though…. I did think it’s going to be one of those evenings when Crowley dropped the ball having danced his way through.
Northampton away will be a test – but not beyond hope. Hopefully, only getting the bonus point in Castres won’t be costly – though, the ironic thing is that before the match, a bonus point would have been regarded as a good day’s work.
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Sorry to hear about the communal cat – we had to put our old black cat Bart to sleep in September – massive “growth” in his chest. He was 14, his sibling Lisa (our children named them) is still with us. She sleeps every night with #2 son – if he’s away overnight at friends, she’s completely lost – wandering all over house looking for him (poor creature).
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Am I just missing out on something, or are Marina Hyde’s columns no longer open for comment? Another searing one on Trump and his billionaire backers!
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They generally aren’t, and nor are Crace’s – poor going, Guardian!
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I’d moan about no Ulster backs, but they’re all injured!
Ireland Men’s Squad – Guinness Men’s Six Nations:
Forwards (21):
Ryan Baird (Dublin University/Leinster)(23)
Finlay Bealham (Corinthians/Connacht)(46)
Tadhg Beirne (Lansdowne/Munster)(56)
Jack Boyle (UCD/Leinster)*
Thomas Clarkson (Dublin University/Leinster)(2)
Jack Conan (Old Belvedere/Leinster)(46)
Caelan Doris (St Mary’s College/Leinster)(captain)(47)
Tadhg Furlong (Clontarf/Leinster)(78)
Cian Healy (Clontarf/Leinster)(134)
Iain Henderson (Academy/Ulster)(84)
Rob Herring (Ballynahinch/Ulster)(42)
Cormac Izuchukwu (Ballynahinch/Ulster)(1)
Rónan Kelleher (Lansdowne/Leinster)(37)
Gus McCarthy (UCD/Leinster)(2)
Joe McCarthy (Dublin University/Leinster)(16)
Peter O’Mahony (Cork Constitution/Munster)(110)
Andrew Porter (UCD/Leinster)(70)
Cian Prendergast (UCD/Connacht)(4)
James Ryan (UCD/Leinster)(67)
Dan Sheehan (Lansdowne/Leinster)(27)
Josh van der Flier (UCD/Leinster)(68)
Backs (15):
Bundee Aki (Galwegians/Connacht)(60)
Caolin Blade (Galwegians/Connacht)(3)
Jack Crowley (Cork Constitution/Munster)(19)
Ciaran Frawley (UCD/Leinster)(8)
Jamison Gibson-Park (Leinster)(38)
Mack Hansen (Corinthians/Connacht)(25)
Robbie Henshaw (Buccaneers/Leinster)(77)
Hugo Keenan (UCD/Leinster)(42)
James Lowe (Leinster)(36)
Conor Murray (Garryowen/Munster)(120)
Calvin Nash (Young Munster/Munster)(8)
Jimmy O’Brien (Naas/Leinster)(8)
Jamie Osborne (Naas/Leinster)(5)
Sam Prendergast (Lansdowne/Leinster)(3)
Garry Ringrose (UCD/Leinster)(63)
Development Players (4):
Hugh Cooney (Clontarf/Leinster)*
Cathal Forde (Corinthians/Connacht)*
James McNabney (City of Armagh/Ulster)*
Ben Murphy (Clontarf/Connacht)*
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I’d moan about no Ulster backs, but they’re all injured
Postlethwaite? At least as a development player? And for forwards… McCann too…
Timoney cast into uttermost darkness after being a panellist for last 2-3 years without playing a game (aka holding tackle bags)
36 players in main squad – 23 Leinster… 5 Munster, 3 Ulster, 5 Connacht
Fairly obvious that Easterby just took dictation from Farrell.
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Trisk – yep, McCann and Timoney, who’s been playing out of his skin (sadly in a somewhat lonely fashion) this year should definitely be there. And then there’s the mystery of no Cooney or Doak, even with Casey injured.
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James Lowe only 36 caps? Thought he had plenty more than that! Other than that, looks weak etc etc.
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The squad of Champions (he typed sarcastically…)
Forwards: Ewan Ashman (Edinburgh), Josh Bayliss (Bath), Jamie Bhatti (Glasgow), Gregor Brown (Glasgow), Dave Cherry (Edinburgh), Luke Crosbie (Edinburgh), Scott Cummings (Glasgow), Rory Darge (Glasgow), Jack Dempsey (Glasgow), Matt Fagerson (Glasgow), Zander Fagerson (Glasgow), Grant Gilchrist (Edinburgh), Jonny Gray (Bordeaux), Patrick Harrison (Edinburgh), Will Hurd (Leicester), Jack Mann (Glasgow), D’Arcy Rae (Edinburgh), Dylan Richardson (Sharks), Jamie Ritchie (Edinburgh), Pierre Schoeman (Edinburgh), Rory Sutherland (Glasgow), Marshall Sykes (Edinburgh)
Backs: Fergus Burke (Saracens), Matt Currie (Edinburgh), Jamie Dobie (Glasgow), Darcy Graham (Edinburgh), George Horne (Glasgow), Rory Hutchinson (Northampton), Huw Jones (Glasgow), Tom Jordan (Glasgow), Blair Kinghorn (Toulouse), Stafford McDowall (Glasgow), Finn Russell (Bath), Kyle Rowe (Glasgow), Sione Tuipulotu (Glasgow), Duhan van der Merwe (Edinburgh), Ben White (Toulon)
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@deebee – Lowe came over in 2017, took 3 years to qualify – so didn’t play until 2021, and if you recall, was dropped early on for defensive errors.
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My view is that anyone who won’t make 2027 RWC should be phased out asap
O’Mahony, Murray, Healy, Lowe, Bealham, Henderson , Herring, Aki, Blade, Gibson Park, Conan
Borderline – van der Flier, Henshaw, Ringrose, Furlong, Beirne
This should have started last season but suddenly now all the talk is about 3 in a row (in 6N) – so we’re back to ‘win now’ mode
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Granted IRFU doesn’t prioritise the RWC – full houses at 6N and AIs pay the piper in Irish rugby…. RWC is a net loser with travel and acommodation costs
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@BB Ojomoh, Obano, Barbeary and Spencer all might get a look from a different coach if fit.
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Trisk, am of a different opinion. I think every competition should be played on its own. The 6N is not a preparation for the RWC. Bring your best team at the moment, period.
I don’t care what the AB fans say, the summer and autumn tours (or what is left of them rather, after the addition of the European cups and RWC) are there as development tours, when you can quietly phase out players and bring in new blood.
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I’m with Flair on this.
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Me three, Dab.
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Said (mostly) by people whose teams have got past the quarter-finals.
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Don’t stress, Thauma! Ulster will get there eventually!
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Just not, perhaps, in my lifetime.
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Well, that’s depressing for him.
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Wait, what????
An article on Scottish rugby IN THE GRAUN?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Kitson must be having the week off….
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2025/jan/17/glasgow-scotland-the-lions-the-unstoppable-rise-huwipulotu-sione-tuipulotu-huw-jones
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Huwipuloto is a grand name for them!
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Exeter score in under 2m30s. This does not bode well.
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