The first week of November has come and gone – Diwali lit up the skies, Guy Fawkes (at least down here) Faded to Grey and Blondie wasn’t French Kissing in the USA, as she’d probably be pitchforked by the MAGA mob reprising their Halloween characters, whilst slobbering over their Freedom Fries and burning Kamala Harris in effigy, good, moral American-values folk that they are. So what next? Some Hemispheric Clashes, that’s what! Not just the usual North-South score settling, but some intriguing clashes between the emerging (or submerging in some cases) nations too. The Autumn Internationals are upon us, and we’ll be in the Joy Division, with plenty of Atmosphere:
Ireland v New Zealand
Kicking off proceedings on Friday night, two of the real heavyweights of world rugby at the moment in Ireland, ranked Number 1, and New Zealand, ranked number 3. If the Kiwis win and the Boks lose, the Blackness will be back on top of the world, improbable as that seemed a few short months ago. Ireland are a more settled side, at home, and desperate to avenge the loss in France last year and continue to be the best side between World Cups. Rest assured, nobody will walk away, in silence.
Score? Ireland by 5
Canada v Chile
A bit of a step down in class (difficult not to be!) with two sides trying to make it into the second tier of the global game. Canada have fallen Icarus-like from their heights of the 90s and are now scrapping it out with the likes of Chile below the second tier nations of Japan, Tonga, Samoa, Australia and the like. Chile, fairly battered at the World Cup last year (and by the ruthless, unsmiling Scots in July), have actually had a decent run in 2024, with only that loss so far to the Celtic Curmudgeons. Not much of a song, but Can-Canada do the Locomotion? Nope.
Score? Chile by 10
Spain v Uruguay
Another ‘emerging match’ between a Spanish side slowly making progress and getting the odd scalp (not as odd as Trump’s, mind), but also getting a bit battered by anyone decent. Good Spain beat Tonga and narrowly lost to Samoa on tour to the islands in July, and last year clobbered Canada, but got smashed by Argentina (nobody cried for them. Sorry) and the USA. Uruguay could be a growing side of note, having emerged from the World Cup with some credit – hammered by New Zealand, but not embarrassed by France or Italy and beating Namibia. They’ve built on that with decent displays against Scotland and France in July (although Argentina gave them a lovely, neighbourly beating). Should be a good match!
Score? Uruguay by 5
England v Australia
Ian Curtis coulda written Atmosphere for this match (if the respective fans stop singing Swing Low and Waltzing Matilda for a minute). Actually, it sums up the respective nations’ rugby philosophies at the moment:
Endless talking
Life rebuilding
Don’t walk away
Walk in silence
Don’t turn away, in silence
Your confusion
My illusion
However, the song is too beautifully painful and poignant to waste on this rabble, so Swing Low vs Waltzing Matila it’ll stay. Both sides are rebuilding (Sagrada Familia will be finished first) and bringing through stunning new talent like, um, Will Skelton and George Ford, so expect a clash of epic proportions, something akin to the Stonehenge set in Spinal Tap. No seriously, England will have too much for an Australian side playing with pride and mongrel and not much else.
Score? England by 10
Portugal v USA
Portugal were everyone’s second-favourite side after the Springboks last year, playing a brand of fearless, running rugby and delighting crowds along the way. They thumped the USA and drew with Georgia at the World Cup, and have beaten both Fiji and Namibia away this year. The USA, well, they’re crap. Not as crap as their election results, but pretty crap. And just to stick one to the Orange Furby, I’ll let Lou Reed get under his skin:
Donald came from Miami, F-L-A
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows along the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, “Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side”
Score? Portugal by 12
Romania v Tonga
I’m flagging a bit, to be fair, at this point, with no secretary to make coffee[Ed: make your own damn coffee; are you Trump?], so it’ll be brief: Romania had a miserable World Cup, getting thrashed by the Boks (quite rightly) and then suffered the indignity of Scottish one-upmanship and shipping 80+ points. Tonga battered them too, before a consolation victory over the USA. Oh, and even Canada beat them this year. Tonga should have way too much for them, but I did my Bru prediction before looking at the form book. Fuck.
Score? Romania by 3
Italy v Argentina
Two sides that are – hopefully – very much on the up. Italy had a great 6N, beating Scotland and Wales, drawing with France and coming within a whisker of England, only getting humped by the Unsmiling Irish. Solid July wins over Tonga and Japan, but up against an Argentina that beat the Kiwis and Boks and hammered Australia in the RC (should’ve beaten them twice). On their day, they’re irresistible, with a beguiling and bewitching combination of power, pace and panache, and frankly, the best side in the world to watch when on song. Sometimes the Fat Lady has laryngitis though.
Score? Argentina by 4
France v Japan
This’ll be pretty one-sided, and a good leg stretch for the French before the serious matches to follow. No point in bemoaning Japan’s fall from grace; it is what it is. Eddie Jones will doubtless be pitching up in Europe with music on his mind, but even Alphaville can’t save him:
You did what you did to me
Now, it’s history I see
Here’s my comeback on the road again
Things will happen while they can
I will wait here for my man tonight
It’s easy when you’re big in Japan
Score? France by 30
Wales v Fiji
Can Wales continue to be as bad as they’ve been lately? To paraphrase the last decent US President “YES THEY CAN!” That said, there’s been some encouraging displays from a couple of their URC sides recently, so they have the ingredients for a decent side, but just seem to be struggling to make much more than a flapjack with them. Will they be luxuriating in the Green, Green Grass of Home, or frantically Holding Out for a Hero come the final whistle? The former, for me, against a frustrating Fiji, who just don’t seem to be able to transfer the brilliance of their 7z into 15z consistently enough.
Score? Wales by 15
Scotland v South Africa
Already getting twitchy for this Sunday afternoon clash. This is a high-quality Scotland side, brimming with quality, talent and intent throughout, but particularly in the back division and the back row. Their kryptonite may be the tight five, especially the replacement forwards, given what they’re up against, but Glasgow in particular have come to the spiritual home of rugby and smashed, grabbed and clubbed their way to wins, so won’t fear much. Will Finn Russell be back in the saddle? Bok fans will hope to go full circle and see him Lose Control; back to you Ian:
Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She’s lost control
And she’s clinging to the nearest passerby
She’s lost control
A titanic struggle, for sure, with the Bok defence scrambling to contain the Scots backs and keep them within sight, until the bomb squad tilts the match in our favour.
Score? South Africa by 6
Top Trumps and Tunes by deebee7
Onna telly in the next week or so
Showing matches that are televised in the UK and Ireland or on popular subscription services. Bold indicates that it’s on a free to view channel. Times are in the UK zone, so adjust as necessary.
Friday 8th November
| Ireland v New Zealand | 20:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Saturday 9th November
| England v Australia | 15:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Italy v Argentina | 17:40 | TNT Sports 2 |
| France v Japan | 20:10 | TNT Sports 2 |
Sunday 10th November
| Wales v Fiji | 13:40 | TNT Sports 1 |
| Scotland v South Africa | 16:10 | TNT Sports 1 |
Ovally Balls 
Munster have got Wood (sniggers)
LikeLike
Matt Williams was so bad as Scotland coach, even Scott Johnson’s got a better win percentage than him.
Williams – played 17, won 3, win % 17.65
Johnson – played 16, won 5, win % 31.25
The only ones worse than William were Nairn McEwan, who won 1 game out of 14 between 1977 and 1980 (win % 7.14) and Colin Telfer who was in charge for 6 games and won none of them. That was the year after we won the 1984 Grand Slam and ended up with the Wooden Spoon.
LikeLike
Ireland (v Argentina):
15. Hugo Keenan (UCD/Leinster)(40)
14. Mack Hansen (Corinthians/Connacht)(22)
13. Garry Ringrose (UCD/Leinster)(61)
12. Robbie Henshaw (Buccaneers/Leinster)(74)
11. James Lowe (Leinster)(34)
10. Jack Crowley (Cork Constitution/Munster)(17)
9. Jamison Gibson-Park (Leinster)(36)
Replacements:
LikeLiked by 1 person
Frawley and Henderson cast into “the uttermost darkness”
Prendergast is the “golden child” – good passer, good long kicker. Right now – no threat ball in hand.
LikeLike
Prendergast is Eddie Murphy?
LikeLike
I hope he doesn’t eat the oatmeal.
LikeLike
It’s my view that Prendergast is the best option at 10 we currently have. Am hoping someone else will turn up, mind. Or that he improves with time.
LikeLike
Sounds like he’s making excuses, to me.
LikeLike
Best option we currently have is Crowley.
Prendergast looks a long way off – a few cameos for Leinster vs Dragons when 30 points up isn’t enough or playing with the Leinster Cs vs the Bulls in Pretoria.
Yes, he may improve with time and surpass Crowley – or he may end up as an improved Ross Byrne – stand and sling, kick 90% goals but no running threat (and Ross is a decent 10 – just doesn’t have that “thing” at test level, or highest club level).
LikeLike
@refit – yes, he is making excuses. 3 U20 Grand slams, would have done it in 2020 except for covid, only lost out this year on BPs.
He’s played a Leinster heavy team in the main since 2021 when he nearly got sacked. Had we lost to England then, he was gone. He’s mainly leant on Leinster and patched in areas of weakness (Hansen, O’Mahony, Beirne). Essentially, Ireland have been a “club team”, and every match has been a “must win” – very little experimentation on summer tours. Also the panels have been very small.
Now that team is ageing out – but with exception of “Emerging Ireland”** – there’s not been many fresh faces except through injury or retirements (Hansen got in when Conway was injured, Nash when Hansen was injured, Crowley succeeded Sexton, Keenan at fb due to injury – he was orginally picked at wing).
**Emerging Ireland – the 1st of which was meant to showcase Frawley (who got injured beforehand) – and instead Crowley grabbed the spotlight.
Now, those winning U20 teams weren’t dominated by Leinster youth. Very heavy on Munster and Ulster and ‘even’ Connacht. I’d imagine Ulster supporters looking at Wilson (TH), McCann, Hume are wondering why those lads aren’t in and around the team – Musnter supporters takesame view of Ahern, Hodnett, Coombes (granted Ahern seems to pick up an injury when panels are about to be announced, and Edogbo is on a long term injury)
And yes, competition from soccer, (gaelic) football, and hurling peel off a good few at age grade – there ought to more from those U20 panels under discussion. Instead, we’re waiting for injury or for form to fall off a cliff before anyone gets a chance.
Aki wasn’t great on Friday – so he’s out and in comes young Henshaw. We know what Henshaw and Ringrose can do – let’s see Forde, Hume, Gavin get a run
LikeLike
The other team in green for Saturday’s Twickers Tremble!
Main Course: 15 Aphelele Fassi, 14 Cheslin Kolbe, 13 Jesse Kriel, 12 Damian de Allende, 11 Kurt-Lee Arendse, 10 Manie Libbok, 9 Grant Williams, 8 Jasper Wiese, 7 Pieter-Steph du Toit, 6 Siya Kolisi (captain), 5 RG Snyman, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Wilco Louw, 2 Bongi Mbonambi, 1 Ox Nche.
Dessert: 16 Malcolm Marx, 17 Gerhard Steenekamp, 18 Vincent Koch, 19 Elrigh Louw, 20 Kwagga Smith, 21 Cobus Reinach, 22 Handre Pollard, 23 Lukhanyo Am.
Mostly expected, with the pack seeing the ‘first choice’ back row of Du Toit, Kolisi and Wiese starting, whilst Bongi and Ox retain their places – Wilco Louw, who many believe is the strongest TH in SA (if not technically best) replaces Thomas du Toit in the front row. Intriguing change in the 2nd row, with RG Snyman promoted to partner Eben Etzebeth and Franco Mostert out of the 23 completely. He looked a bit off the pace at Murrayfield, having jsut ocme back from injury so probably not a surprise there.
The backline is completely different from last week, with Jaden Hendrickse also out of the 23, Grant Williams starting alongside Manie Libbok, and then pretty much the settles outside backs of de Allende and Kriel in the centres, Arendse and Kolbe on the wings, and Fassi at fullback. There is serious speed and skill in that backline if they get decent ball.
The Bomb Squad (poor old Stephen Jones and Matt Williams and Michael Aylwin) is a 5-3 split, with the same front row as most of this season, but no specialist lock – Elrich Louw is a highly rated back rower who can fill in there, but you’d think PS du Toit will fill in for whoever of Etzebeth and Snyman goes off. Cobus Reinach and Handre Pollard generally play well together, and Am offers cover at centre and wing at a push.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Trisk – Hume hasn’t even played much for Ulster; he’s another very injury-prone player.
LikeLike
I think Rassie is just showing off to Ireland, by making 12 changes to the starting lineup.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Refit, apparently he’s averaged 11 changes per match this year, so upping the ante slightly for England. Also, I read somewhere else that he almost always goes 5-3 on the bench against England, really no idea why though.
LikeLike
It’s being widely reported that Bristol have signed Tom Jordan for next season. I think if I was asked what one player had the most impact on Glasgow winning the title last season, I’d pick Jordan. It’s a huge loss
Bristol have also signed Argentinian lock Pedro Rubiolo from Newcastle.
LikeLike
That’s a bummer, Ticht. I’m just wondering with Sione signing a new deal with Glasgow whether there was a bit of “lose one or the other” within Glasgow/SRU.
LikeLike
Away from rugby, the funniest thing just happened
LikeLiked by 2 people
he’s another very injury-prone player
True, but he was in – then he was out (seeingly for evermore) and being injured is no bar to getting selected (we brought how many injured players to France?)
LikeLike
Amuse-bouche: 15 Freddie Steward, 14 Tommy Freeman, 13 Ollie Lawrence, 12 Henry Slade, 11 Ollie Sleightholme, 10 Marcus Smith, 9 Jack van Poortvliet, 8 Ben Earl, 7 Sam Underhill, 6 Chandler Cunningham-South, 5 George Martin, 4 Maro Itoje, 3 Will Stuart, 2 Jamie George (captain), 1 Ellis Genge
intermezzo: 16 Luke Cowan-Dickie, 17 Fin Baxter, 18 Dan Cole, 19 Nick Isiekwe, 20 Alex Dombrandt; 21 Harry Randall, 22 George Ford, 23 Tom Roebuck
LikeLike
I don’t think Hume has played in more than one match in the last 6 months.
Would certainly like to see the other Ulster players you mention + Cormac getting into the 23 and some game time.
LikeLike
Ooh, that would have been a fun team to watch
LikeLike
Cormac getting into the 23 and some game time
Absolutely – I should have added his name to my earlier list. Maybe Fiji?
LikeLike
Refit, what’s the point of that? Most of the Kiwis were playing in France for a big, fat swansong paycheck. They were superb players, but probably on the wrong side of their Test careers for the most part. Or am I missing the point (as usual)
LikeLike
Where to watch, this weekend
LikeLike
Deebee, I think it was just French TV having a bit of fun.
LikeLike
Speaking of ‘fun’, here are my ‘Bru picks for the weekend
Ireland v Argentina
Pick: Ireland by 25
Japan v Uruguay
Pick: Japan by 15
Spain v Fiji
Pick: Fiji by 50
Scotland v Portugal
Pick: Scotland by 75
Romania v Canada
Pick: Romania by 10
Tonga v USA
Pick: Tonga by 17
England v South Africa
Pick: South Africa by 17
France v New Zealand
Pick: France by 4
Italy v Georgia
Pick: Italy by 5
Wales v Australia
Pick: Australia by 8
LikeLike
I’ll be very surprised if we beat Argentina by 25!
LikeLike
I’ll be very surprised if we beat Argentina by 25
Argentina – in my view – have replaced France in the cliche of “you never know know what xxxx will turn up”
They can be lethal or sometimes it just seems like there’s a collective “No, not today…!”
Could win handily, edge one, or get beaten…
LikeLike
See Toonie’s chosen a team from the bits and bobs hanging around the Scotland training sessions. Still should be enough to beat Portugal handily though.
Should….
LikeLike
And the link..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/articles/c89vqv3xyj2o
LikeLike
Tomos Williams is broke
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/articles/c789vxwplpvo
LikeLike
I’ve got you by 75, don’t disappoint me BorderBoy.
LikeLike
You do realise this is Scotland you’re talking about? And if the fitba’ team somehow win tonight, then that’s us buggered. Sporting dogs won’t let us have two national team wins in one weekend.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Apparently there’s (another) breakaway league in the offing. Also apparently, any England ‘stars’ that sign up for it won’t be able to play for England.
First question: would the ‘Breakaway League’ actually want any England players?
Second question: IF any England players joined, would they be bothered about missing out on playing for Borthwick’s England?
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2024/nov/15/stars-joining-rugby-breakaway-league-would-be-barred-from-england-team
LikeLike
Here we go. The FEAR is on me.
LikeLike
What the hell happened there?
LikeLike
And why didn’t they stop play at the head contact? Instead of playing on?
LikeLike
Try will probably be chalked off for a high hit. Both seemed to be pretty low, so probably a yellow.
LikeLike
Well, at least they came back for it!
LikeLike
Crowley was always low; he hadn’t dipped.
LikeLike
Not sure why Crowley didn’t go off for an HIA, but he’s just scored!
LikeLike
Has Hansen just scored again? Maybe a couple of things to look at….
LikeLike
Did Hanson actually ground that?
LikeLike
That was one of the things I thought they’d look at! That and JGP’s pass. But apparently it’s all fine!
LikeLike
Homer ref.
LikeLike
‘Homer ref’ has just said ‘good job; well done!’ apparently to an Irish player! Then someone may have scored, but there may have been a knock-on.
LikeLike
Yep, dropped by Beirne.
LikeLike
“on field decision try…” Is the ref’s granny Irish?
LikeLike
Bit harsh on Bealham, that! I didn’t see any danger in it (with my one eye).
LikeLike
That’s what you get for being a white man with braids.
LikeLiked by 1 person