Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Georgia score in overtime: 5-14.
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TRY Casey immediately as the second half starts!
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Safe to say that this match is not a classic that will be re-watched down the ages.
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That was a cheeky long-pass out the back of the hand by Casey.
Playing in a monsoon really hasn’t helped the quality of the rugby. Georgia not being completely outclassed though.
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TRY Timoney (or Tominee, as the commentator insists on calling him)? We shall see.
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It’s an ULSTER TRYYYY!!!!!
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In other Ulster news, we are in the same pool for the Challenge Cup as Cardiff, which will be exciting in this house. Also Racing, Stade Français and Exeter (and Cheetahs), so either of us getting out of the pool will be a bit miraculous.
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Ireland just doing stupid things now. An attempt to give O’Brien (T) a hat-trick that flew past him into touch, etc.
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McCloskey’s just been carded for something he seemed quite amused by.
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Well, that’s it. 5-34.
Everyone, including the players and officials, seemed to lose all interest half-way through the second half.
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Switched to the tennis.
Every time I hear ‘love-fifteen’, I think of this:
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“Everyone, including the players and officials, seemed to lose all interest half-way through the second half.”
Wales obviously thought they were playing in this game rather than the one they were actually involved in.
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Poor old Georgians though. They’ll have to do better than getting humped by Ireland B if they want to get into the Five Nations once we’ve been kicked out. Back to rest weeks, both games on at the same time and only on the telly in the right countries for the rest of you…
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Pleased to hear the Lions got a competitive match even if they didn’t like it themselves. Didn’t see it and the reporting seems to all be that the Lions were crap, but even so…
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We couldn’t bring ourselves to pay for Sky.
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Same for me Thaum. NowTV is a min 6 months and amending my BT subscription would do insane things to the price.
I do know some ‘convenient’ websites though 😉
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Ooh, lucky that was only a yellow (for now). Appreciate Gardner just took one look and went “yellow”.
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Apparently I’ve got SA comms, on the stream I’m watching.
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Did get a NOW offer for £20/month, cancel anytime, but still…!
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Some top quality time wasting by England, while down to 13. Never seen people walk so slowly to a lineout.
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Loving the Arg cheers, every time their players put in a big hit,
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Oh no Argentina. Held England to just 3 points in the first half. England have now scored two tries in 5mins, at the start of the 2nd. 0-15
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3rd try (2nd for Roebuck) on 49mins. 0-22.
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Good lord, the Arg loosie’s got wheels. Broke the line an no-one could catch him.
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That was quite a special try by Arg. Quick hands and feet by about 5 players down the wing.
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Solid win by England in the end.
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Ah, Fiji! Led 18-14 against the Wobblies with 3 to go and then let in a late try to lose 21-18. Would’ve been a great win if they’d held on!
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Just what we need for next week. Playing an annoyed Fiji, in Fiji!
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BREAKING NEWS! Jake White sacked from the Bulls, with inside info suggesting that Franco Smith will take over, with Johan van Graan as his assistant and Jacques Nienaber as technical director. They’ve got two of South Africa’s richest men – Patrice Motsepe and Johann Rupert – as backers, so money is no object. Now if they could just spend some of that on making their fans more bearable it would be great.
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You might get Franco (boooooooooooooooooooooo!) but not the other two shirley?
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Probably won’t get any of them, I was just stirring the pot. Van Graan does have deep ties to the Bulls, having been a ballboy there as a kid, completely unrelated to the fact that his father ran the place at the time. There’s also talk that Johan Ackermann may move from his role as assistant at the Baby Boks to the Bulls hot seat. He had a great run at the Lions, taking us to three consecutive Super Rugby finals.
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Neinaber has had “open to work” opn his LinkeddIn profile for some time…..
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5-5 after 15 minutes. Lots of kicking in what are apparently slippery conditions.
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Russell overcooks an attempted 50-22. Overrated, I tells ya!*
Lions attack and James Slowe can’t get it down in the corner. Kinghorn off with a ‘niggle’ apparently, replaced by Marcus McIntyre. But now Slowe is low and over he go! 5-12, with the conversion.
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Brumbies score another of their own, after the Lions botched a lineout and gave away a penalty. Not converted, so 10-12 just before the break. But the Lions aren’t done yet, and Smith gets in on the act! There’s a pattern here – every B&I Lion I slag off scores. Luckily for the Brumbies, Blair Kinghorn, Tommy Freeman, Garry Ringrose, Bundee Aki, Jamison Gibson-Park, Ellis Genge, Dan Sheehan, Tadhg Furlong, Maro Itoje (c), Joe McCarthy, Ollie Chessum, Tom Curry, Jack Conan, Ronan Kelleher, Andrew Porter, Will Stuart, Josh van der Flier, Henry Pollock, Alex Mitchell, and Mack Hansen are all shit.
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Curry’s been rather poor tonight. Given away penalties, dropped balls, just passed straight to a Brumbies player (although his tip off to Marcus for his try was good).
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Garry Ringrose is shit. Oh.
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Russell takes the 3 from a penalty. Definite signs the Lions are capitulating at this point. Definite. 17-29, with 15 to go. Can the Lions hold on for the win?
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Brumbies rumble it up and over (with some slick hands inbetween, so I believe) and they’re back to 24-36! Only a couple of minutes left, but a Brumbies side sans 8 guys in the Wobblies camp have given the Lions plenty to think about, especially on the floor and breakdown generally. Reckon the Aussies have got this series 3-0.
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Two challenging games for the Lions in a row. Has to be a good thing.
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Was going to post the Irish squad for Portugal, but when I saw it couldn’t be bothered. Down to one Ulster player (McCloskey) and one dropped to the bench (Izuchukwu).* Not sure what Timoney did wrong to be dropped entirely – was it scoring a try, or having his name mis-pronounced by the commentator frequently, which suggests he was busy about the park?
*Oh wait – think Stewart is on the bench too.
Obviously Stockdale went off injured, and has been replaced by an uncapped Munsterman, so that is fair enough.
Yes I know, my one eye matches my unjointed nose.
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Aus team news
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@thaum
I didn’t think Izuchukwu had a great game last day – but they should want to start Ahern. I suppose it was like-for-like.
Cian Prendergast was always likely to get a run after missing out last Sat, so Coombes is out.
I was suprised that Kendellan got picked to start and surprised that Deegan isn’t. He’s on the bench again – albeit we know pretty much what he can do
Bolton – replacing Stockdale – is from Connacht.
Probably fewer changes than I’d have expected – starting FR is same as last week. I’d have swapped them with the bench
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Oh, sorry – I remembered it wasn’t a Leinster man, and forgot which of the two other sides he came from!
Yes, you’re probably right about Izzy.
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Fiji up 22-14 with 20 to go against Scotland. Van they hold on this week? Would be fantastic to see Fiji become a powerhouse in the 15s as well as 7s
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29-14 and Darcy Graham with a red for illegally stopping a try. Only 5 to go.
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And that was the final score! Big win for Fiji after they blew it against Australia last week.
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From the highlights, Fiji were excellent
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Seems like we’ve played Fiji three times in Fiji – and never won. Maybe stop going to Fiji…..
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