Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
And the opposition
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Seems to be a bit damp in Sydney. So THAT’S why Andy picked all those Irishmen…
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Thank god for a slight delay in kick-off. I only got in from the shops at 10:58 (there was quite a queue in the nail shop).
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Skelton starting the shit-housery early.
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Would love it if Porter could actually scrummage straight at any time.
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It’s hilarious how chippy Nic White is.
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I see forward passes are optional this evening.
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The overhead shot of Porter in the scrum was terrible.
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Australia seem to be getting away with an awful lot.
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Sheehan has lost one lineout out of 40, trumpet Sky. He then goes on to lose something like 3 of the next 4. Well done Sky.
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There should be a card for starting shit when the ref has stopped for medical treatment. Dicks.
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Doesn’t look good for Ryan. Put his head in the wrong place, and hit Skelton’s knee full on.
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Player down with serious injury, so of course the stadium starts playing Sweet Bloody Caroline. Sheesh.
Ref telling both captains off, Sheehan says “Their number 9 is starting everything”.
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Play now suspended due to a lightning warning.
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Skelton’s on his 3rd last warning now?
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@BB – you and Lee (from Blood & Mud) on the Graun MBM are of the same mind:
“The tannoy is blasting Sweet Caroline as Ryan receives treatment. Imagine lying there having had your head rattled by a giant’s leg and that utter dreck is piping into your ears. Horrific.”
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Saw that. Don’t mind the song too much but its just been played to death. Can’t remember where and when it started to get played so often in stadiums.
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Ah, I’ve found a stream with Aussie comms. Bliss.
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O Farrell apparently upset about something. I have a feeling there was an early tackle/hit in that last knock on. Ah, just some borderline interference from everyone’s favourite 9.
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G’wan Jac!
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Lions finally on the scoreboard! Jac Morgan from close range. 15-7 with the unshown conversion successful. 16 to go – can the Wobblies hold on this week?
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Wow! Some real hard yards by the Aussies and eventually, after what, 35 or 40 phases, Tate McDermott scoots over. 22-7 with 8 to go and the Lions a man down. Surely they can’t? Oh wow! A 5m lineout and the Wallabies snaffle another one! Surely that’s that.
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The Lions might be doing a little better, if the lineout was something approaching functional.
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At least a penalty.
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How did the ref miss head contact in the tackle????
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Well, the Aussies deserved that.
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I’m still trying to work out how the ref just completely ignored Beirne being hit in the jaw.
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Overall, poor enough by the Lions. 8-0 was a handy lead in those conditions, and 15-0 was insuperable unless Oz went haywire.
Aki had a poor enough game – 3 or 4 knocks forward and held up in a choke tackle. No-one in the backline did much, but not a day for exuberant backline moves.
Nika wasn’t keen on Porter’s technique.
Losing Itoje, Ryan gutted the lineout – Beirne seemed to be the only option that worked.
Ryan – bad for him but awful technique.
White was like a wasp – pure irritant … But exactly what you’d want from your 9
Oz looked better with Donaldson at 10.
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@refit
Seemed to go with the pen for Donaldson taking Earl out and ignore the tackles on Beirne.
I’d have probably regarded 13 Gold shoulder to head as worse (marginally) than 15 Gold hand to face but with seconds left it was probably easier to let it pass and not spend 10 mins back and forth with TMO.
Potentially, could go pen try – foul play by both 13 and 15 removes them from the picture….
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@Trisk, I’m with you on the sentiment. Result beyond a doubt in the last Test of the tour, hand to face was fleeting and possibly unintentional (I know) and high tackle didn’t seem to do any damage. If that had been in the 2nd Test, with potential ramifications for the series, maybe a different approach? Shouldn’t be that way, of course.
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Just spotted a TomP ‘facting’ on the Graun! Nice to know some things never change…
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As someone on the Mother Ship wrote, Andy Farrell had the ‘cream’ of 4 nations to choose from, yet at the end of the 3rd Test he had a Scottish 13 on one wing, the Scottish full back on another, his semi-retired son at outside centre and the 35 year old Bundee Aki at 12.
Also really struggle to see just what exactly Andrew Porter does other than scrum squint? No doubt somebody will tell me all about his ‘unseen’ work. Dan’s lineouts took a run up to the cliff and jumped off, although losing both main jumpers won’t have helped (and he seemed to put in a dodgy clearout on Lynagh). Think Beirne was probably the only forward to come out with pass marks. Finn wasn’t great but had no speed outside him although at one point he was surrounded by Gold jerseys and still managed to find Huw with a great kick to the wing. Huw then promptly kicked it out on the full. It was that sort of day for the Lions.
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Watched it again last night and how Porter isn’t pinged at pretty much every scrum is beyond me.
BB, your comment above is an indictment on the conservative selection policy Farrell used! But for a 80th minute 2nd Test try, these Lions could have gone from just about deserved winners, to being compared to Sir Clive’s 2005s, with a side whose core had peaked two years earlier.
That said, is it possible (gathers coat and puts on running shoes) that there simply aren’t enough standout players in the home unions to bust down the door? It doesn’t help that the Lions were largely selected from 3 nations due to Wales horrible current situation, but how many genuine starters were left high and dry? Lots of players on a par, but once a couple of injuries crept in, it seemed the next cab was was an Uber Lite.
Still don’t think this Wallabies side is all that, and I do believe that both the Boks and Kiwis will beat them quite comfortably (famous last words, hubris etc). On balance though, enjoyed the Tests and there was enough drama and excitement to shut up the naysayers calling for the Wobblies to be axed from the roster. What next? Wales replaced by Georgia in the 6N?
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To me the Lions pack (where they lost the game yesterday) looked demob happy and/or hungover. To be fair there weren’t many who started yesterday that I wouldn’t have picked after last week (Ryan and Porter deffo not). However, it would have made some sense to select players who had missed out on test selection and were desperately hungry to make a point – vdF, Cummings, Schoeman, Pollock for example should all have been in the 23. Curry with a fucked wrist was never going to reach the previous week’s heights.
Anyone who picked Farrell and Aki as a test midfield pairing will have cleaned up at the bookies.
I don’t know if it could be done, but I’d like to see the head coach for the next Lions tour to NZ to not come from one of the countries involved, there’s too much skin in the game.
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Farrell Senior’s already said he would be interested in doing it again. Wonder what he’ll do if Ireland aren’t the dominant 6N side they have been. Think he’s got a big rebuild job on his hands for the next RWC, never mind a Lions tour.
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I’ve just seen someone suggest Rassie Erasmus as Lions head coach for the New Zealand tour.
That would be tremendous, as well as being funny.
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Rassie is about to sign until 2031. That’ll piss off the rugby world outside of South Africa for the next six years. That said, I’m not sure his health will allow it, sadly. Maybe appoint a French coach? Maybe one of the Saffer coaches in Europe? What I would like to see is a Lions team absolutely purring when they hit Kiwi soil – because, whisper it, the Kiwis under Razor are building very, very nicely.
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@bb
Smaller squad than necessary, carrying players with injuries or not fully recovered.
We saw this in last RWC – ended with Sexton walking from place to place cause he didn’t trust Crowley, Hansen off with an injury and Jimmy O’Brien on. Lowe struggling with injury but had to stay on….
Yeah, unlucky with HIAs for Freeman and Itoje and the awful technique by Ryan, but Farrell has been very conservative with Ireland but by and large, gotten away with it.
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Porter offers Ireland and Leinster huge output in the loose – clearing rucks, jackalling – that the dodgy scrum technique is worth it, and – for Leinster – only found out once or twice a season against big packs – noone in the URC has it.
He lets Leinster have a back row without a jackal threat like Curry or Morgan – Josh isn’t that type of open side.
His carrying (plus McCarthy) also means that none of the back row are tight carriers – Vdf, Doris, Conan all pop up in wider channels (generally)
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Wonder what he’ll do if Ireland aren’t the dominant 6N side they have been
Well, depends on whether he’s still Irish coach – could see him as a candidate if a vacancy arose with England….
If he’s true to himself he’ll certainly build around an existing group. What we’ve seen with Ireland is using Leinster as the spine and add to fill in weaknesses (Hansen, O’Mahony, Aki)
he’s got a big rebuild job on his hands
I’m sure I’ve bored everyone rigid saying we’re behind on this.
Only 4 men have played in the Irish backrow since 2021 – van der Flier, Doris, Conan, O’Mahony (excluding the recent tour to Georgia and Portugal)
Osborne was called up to the Lions after playing full back in South Africa but spent the last season as a bits and bobs player for Leinster – who had Barrett and will have Ioane next season.
Ringrose must be a doubt going forward.
Furlong, Aki, Conan, van der Flier, Lowe, Henshaw, Gibson Park will be in the 33-37 bracket by the time RWC27 rolls around.
I can’t see any great changes in the AIs or following 6N and summer 2026 has a trip to NZ/Australia pencilled in.
As you’ve seen yesterday, Farrell won’t want to experiment. Nothwithstanding that you run your starters into the ground.
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Left Tadhg Beirne out of 33+ club… Now he didn’t start playing at high level until he was 25-26 so he’s “lightly raced” – might stand to him ….
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Deebee
Maybe appoint a French coach?
Ronan O’Gara?
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I have a relative, a cousin’s kid, called Ronan, who was born during O’Gara’s heyday as a player. Think I asked him, in front of his English wife, if he was named after ROG, and got a bit of a diffident response.
Given that said cousin is a bit shy, and a rugby fan, I took it as a yes, but that he didn’t want his wife to know.
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Oh, hang on, wrong cousin, it turns out. The Ronan-spawning cousin, brother of the one I thought it was, is less shy and is married to a woman with an Irish name but I think born and raised in England.
Trying to find out the all-important question of who she supports in the rugby.
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Trying to find out the all-important question of who she supports in the rugby
Whoever’s winning…..
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“Porter offers Ireland and Leinster huge output in the loose”
According to the ESPN stats he made 9 tackles, the lowest in the Lions pack – 2 missed, the lowest equal to Sheehan and Curry.
He carried the ball twice for a total of 4m gained – no defenders beaten or clean breaks.
He conceded two penalties at the scrum, it should have been four at least from the spider cam angle that was shown on tv.
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that should be most tackles missed in the pack, lowest performance is what I was getting at
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Wrote a lengthy and well argued (I thought) account of my neutral take of the Lions in Oz territory that got lost in the internet limbo.
Should I write it again? Meh…
Basically Ireland 2.0 led by Finn couldn’t work.
Except it did for 2 halves, first in the first test and then during the 2nd half of the 2nd test.
The rest of the games were easily dominated by Oz who werent afraid, even in dire conditions, to handle the ball rather than kick it aimlessly like the Lions did.
Best player: Tom Curry.
Honorable mention to Finn, Beirne and of course Nic White.
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Flair, imo Curry played 50 minutes very well in the first two tests, then for the third he was playing with only the one wrist, he was anonymous as a result.
He shouldn’t have been on the park.
Keenan was my pick as the Lions best player in the third test.
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