Tampering with the Six Nations

Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.

Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Italian, English and French 6N clowns (L-R)

Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.

SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.

SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.

SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.

SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.

SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.

SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.

SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.

SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.

SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?

SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.

SNC4: Sono d’accordo.

SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?

SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.

SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.

SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.

SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.

SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?

SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.

SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.

[whispers]

All: Crack on!

2,787 thoughts on “Tampering with the Six Nations

  1. thaumaturge's avatarthaumaturge

    Watching the women’s world cup, England v USA. Opening ceremony was incredibly shit; let’s hope the rugby is better.

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  2. I’m enjoying grumpy Brian Moore on comms.

    England scrum is very dominant.

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  3. The inability of either team to catch a high ball, particularly England on every restart, is baffling.

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  4. thaumaturge's avatarthaumaturge

    The comms are even more one-sided than in the men’s game.

    English fatties are terrifying.

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  5. thaumaturge's avatarthaumaturge

    Think I’d prefer to meet Ellis Genge, for example, in a dark alley.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ooh, Aus score in under 2mins against Samoa – kick-off, pen, lineout, maul. Hope that’s not how this is going to go for Samoa all match.

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  7. 15mins and Aus have scored their 4th try. Gonna be a long match for Samoa. 26-0

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  8. This is absolutely brutal on Samoa. 45-0 after 32mins.

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  9. Didn’t see it live, but that was a mauling of note. Hoping the Wobblies men’s team don’t hand out the same later.

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  10. Samoa didn’t help themselves with a yellow card in the first half (repeated penalties on the try line) and a yellow upgraded to a 20min red in the second (dangerous tackle).

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  11. Scotland v Wales is a much more balanced match, than the first two we’ve had. 17-8 after half a hour and both teams playing some lovely rugby.

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  12. flair99's avatarflair99

    Won’t comment on womens rugby as I don’t watch it but I can’t wait for the rematch between SA and Australia.
    I think SA will revert to type and bulldoze Australia, leaving running rugby to sissies like the ABs. But they will have first to secure their ball at the breakdown, otherwise I can see the faster Australians run rings around them. Fascinating.

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  13. flair99's avatarflair99

    Won’t comment on womens rugby as I don’t watch it but I can’t wait for the rematch between SA and Australia.
    I think SA will revert to type and bulldoze Australia, leaving running rugby to sissies like the ABs. But they will have first to secure their ball at the breakdown, otherwise I can see the faster Australians run rings around them. Fascinating.

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  14. I’ve just seen a comment that Malcolm Marx looks like Shrek, when he takes the human potion. Now I can’t unsee it.

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  15. Oof, Nic White tackled out of the game.

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  16. flair99's avatarflair99

    That was a bit meh. Then I shouldn’t’ve expected as glorious a game as last week. Wright out ( and White?) will prove costly.

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  17. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    Real Rugby update and a special message for BB.

    Dunbar’s trip to Melrose was cancelled today so I went to watch our under 18s play Selkirk. We won in a three 20 minute sessions preseason run around, but of interest to our man from Selkirk might be that the legend that is John Rutherford was up watching his club’s youngsters.

    At one point he was called upon to kick the ball back onto the pitch for a restart, let’s just say that the intervening forty years from his pomp have not been kind to Rutherford’s kicking technique :-D

    He’s often in Dunbar, I don’t know is connection but I’ve seen him here a few times over the years.

    Liked by 4 people

  18. Borderboy's avatarBorderboy

    Thanks Ticht. I’m pretty sure I heard that he had some serious health problems recently, but he seems to have recovered well. I’m certainly not going to criticise John Rutherford’s kicking technique – I reckon I’ve probably only really kicked a ball well about twice in my life.

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  19. Hell of a first half in Argentina.

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  20. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    BB, it was prostrate cancer but he has been successful in his treatment, thankfully. Unfortunately his brother died from the same thing a while back.

    Try Argentina!

    Anyway, another reminder for men over 50 – get tested. I got tested last year.

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  21. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    prostate not prostrate ffs.

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  22. Argentina 26-13 up inside the final quarter! They’ve been good value for it too. Missed the first 25 or so, but since I’ve been watching, Argentina have looked so good ball in hand.

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  23. There are three sides with lovely, balanced backlines full of running in the RC, the Boks are not one of them.

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  24. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    Oh btw, I meant to say this last week. I wrote about a game last season and in particular the referee – in nearly 50 years of playing then watching I’d never seen a refereeing performance like it. The guy even joined in the opposition sing song on the pitch after the game. Our tighthead was binned for 17 minutes for throwing the ball away after he was pinged for demolishing the opposition scrum – that was one of many many complaints we had, which we made official to the SRU.

    Anyway, last week I happened to be speaking to the president of the refereeing society here, he’s from Connacht. The ref in question is no longer refereeing games.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    Great kick under pressure

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  26. ABs score to bring it back to 26-20. Sevu Reece surely with a yellow here. Yip. The Kiwis will finish with 14. Do the Pumas take 3? Surely! Yes! 29-20 with 6 to play!

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  27. tichtheid2's avatartichtheid2

    Vamos Argentina

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  28. Argentina have beaten the All Blacks!

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  29. Wow! Great result! All four sides well in it after the first 2 rounds. That Choccobares is something else.

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  30. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    yay. Poomas shining some light thru the darkness.

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  31. sunbeamtim's avatarsunbeamtim

    Interestingly, not only do I still have to sign in with every comment, but it appears I also have to subscribe to wordpress each time as well. Is this some weird wordpress anti blog tactic? Has Thaum upset them, so they are trying to kill the site ?
    Anyways, back to rugby. What a great game. Poomas just kept coming, Matera and Montoya are unbelievable. The rest of the pack did well too. Chocobarres deservedly MoM, but the whole backline stood up too, 15 great in the air. Santi was on top form, he can blow hot and cold, hopefully he will save the cold for Bath games vs Glaws. Every time the Kiwi loosies looked to go on the rampage, they were flattened. Actually deserve a bit of stick from the coaches for blowing chances, really should have had 2 or 3 more tries, but for there first win on home soil over the Blackness, may that can wait until Monday.
    Got to have a word for Christie as the 9 sub for the ABs. He really gets stuck in, tackling big guys on the charge with a knee dip, and really aggressive jackalling a couple of times too, when it was needed.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. A great result that sets up the RC beautifully! The Boks and ABs both need to beat each other to go into the final two rounds in the mix, whilst the Wallabies and Pumas will both fancy their chances against each other. I reckon if one of them is able to blank the other, they’ve got one hand on the trophy. I’d love it to be Argentina. All four sides could win either the silverware or the wooden spoon.

    Boks arguably have the hardest route, with two Tests in New Zealand up next. Get nothing from those and they’re bottom and sinking fast.

    The Aussies host Argentina twice next up, and two wins there – they’ve generally had the Pumas number – and they go into the away and then home matches against the Kiwis in a very good place. Share the spoils and it’s most likely another Kiwi stroll.

    An intriguing prospect would be the Argentina-Bok match being the decider. At Twickenham.

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  33. If you didn’t watch Aus v USA (it was hidden away on the BBC red button), I can highly recommend it. Best match of the WC so far, right down to the wire.

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  34. Borderboy's avatarBorderboy

    You’d find it difficult to find anything other than England’s Glorious Journey To The Title on the BBC (or in the Guardian – 3 paragraphs on our victory over Fiji in the Canada/Wales match report).

    Liked by 1 person

  35. G’wan Spain! Scored 5 tries in a losing effort against Ireland. Outstanding game.

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  36. Brazil just scored a try against France and the stadium has exploded. This WC is amazing.

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  37. Great day for the Bok Women! Through to the QFs, which I think is realistically as far as they can expect to get right now, so celebrations all round. Top of the group, but up against a ruthless France next, so almost certainly finish second.

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  38. Borderboy's avatarBorderboy

    Franco’s staying! Thank dog for that! Signed a new contract until 2028. Means he’ll be in the best position to take over when Tonnie (yet again) fails to get us out of a RWC group in 2027.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Hmmm. 2028 is when Rassie’s contract expires… smart move, Franco!

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  40. Boks to face All Blacks on Saturday morning:

    Starting XV: 15 Willie le Roux, 14 Cheslin Kolbe, 13 Jesse Kriel (captain), 12 Damian de Allende, 11 Canan Moodie, 10 Handre Pollard, 9 Grant Williams, 8 Siya Kolisi, 7 Pieter-Steph du Toit, 6 Marco van Staden, 5 Ruan Nortje, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Thomas du Toit, Malcolm Marx, 1 Ox Nche.

    Replacements: 16 Jan Hendrik Wessels, 17 Boan Venter, 18 Wilco Louw, 19 Lood de Jager, 20 Kwagga Smith, 21 Cobus Reinach, 22 Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, 23 Ethan Hooker.

    A couple of things – Willie le Roux is part his prime, but both Fassie and Willemse have struggled with accuracy this season. Pollard at 10 means lots of hoists into the night sky, which is why Moodie has been picked on the wing. Kolbe will be feeding off scraps, what a shame.

    Kolisi at 8, with Jean-Luc du Preez joining Cameron Hanekom, Elrich Louw (both injured) and Jasper Wiese (still suspended) on the list of 8s not available. The Bok loose trio looks vulnerable against Ardie Savea and Wallace Sititi (don’t know much about Parker).

    Strong tight five and glad that Ruan Nortje is getting a start, he’s a very underrated lock, intelligent, hard worker, decent carrier. Eben is Eben. Front row is decent without being terrifying – Ox is world class, Marx has yet to hit his straps this season and du Toit has blown hot and cold, although at least he’s back to TH, where he’s best. Good around the park too, which he’ll need to be.

    The ‘Bomb Squad’ is no longer: going 5-3 and definitely without the front row depth of 2023 (or even last year). No Mbonambi (family issues, but off form anyway – was going to say off-colour, but Tom Curry may be reading this), J-H Wessels at hooker, even if some believe he’s a better prop, but along with Boan Venter and Wilco Louw it is a formidable replacement front row. With scrums being neutered though, is it needed? Lood de Jager on the bench is very solid (another intelligent lock) and perennial replancement Kwagga rounding out the forwards – no place for RG Snyman, which has raised some eyebrows here.

    Reinach is a very good back up 9 and will be facing a rookie on the other side, whilst both Sacha F-M and Hooker can play across several positions in the backs. Again though, is SFM the right replacement to close out a tight game? Should be have started with ‘banker’ Pollard on the bench? Should RG Snyman have been on the bench instead of the very promising Ethan Hooker?

    It’s a very good side, probably the best Rassie could pick given injuries and suspensions, but I have a niggling feeling that this could be the Waterloo for an ageing bunch of Bok legends.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. So that was more than a couple of things, but hey ho! The All Blacks for comparison:

    Starters: 15 Will Jordan, 14 Emoni Narawa, 13 Billy Proctor, 12 Jordie Barrett, 11 Rieko Ioane, 10 Beauden Barrett, 9 Finlay Christie, 8 Wallace Sititi, 7 Ardie Savea, 6 Simon Parker, 5 Tupou Vaa’i, 4 Scott Barrett (captain), 3 Fletcher Newell, 2 Codie Taylor, 1 Ethan de Groot.

    Replacements: 16 Samisoni Taukei’aho, 17 Tamaiti Williams, 18 Tyrel Lomax, 19 Fabian Holland, 20 Du’Plessis Kirifi, 21 Kyle Preston, 22 Quinn Tupaea, 23 Damian McKenzie.

    Don’t watch much Super Rugby anymore, and the two matches in Argentina I saw through a slightly hazed, red wine curtain, so some of these guys are pretty new to me. What I will say is that if the Bok kicking game is off song, Will Jordan will have a field day. Don’t know much about Emoni Narawa, but I believe he’s been picked to counter this. Not many Kiwis want Rieko Ioane anywhere near the side, so that’s nice, but he’ll probably have a storming game as a result! Jordie is pure class at 12, and Proctor is slouch outside him, but Barrett (B) will have an eye on the ‘Malmesbury Missile’ (PSDT) flying his way again from the side of the scrum. Kiwis potetnially a bit light at 9, with their 4th and 5th choice (latter uncapped) nines in the side.

    The forwards are developing the kind of grizzle that Kiwi packs in the 90s and noughties had – a very, very good front row and solid second row (although not all Kiwis are enamoured with Scot Barrett as a starter or captain). Tupou Vaa’i is stepping up nicely for them, whilst the back three are potentially what wins it for the Kiwis: Ardie back where he belongs on the side of the scrum, Sititi a very explosive 8 and Parker, who apparently went okay in Argentina.

    The replacement front row is again, very very strong; they won’t lose much in that department, not sure about Holland as the repalcement lock, whilst Du’Plessis Kirifi is another very good, skillful ball carrier. There is a school of thought amongst some Kiwi fans that Sititi and Kirifi are a bit lightweight for Test rugby, but not sure about that. Preston will get a baptism of fire, Tupaea is ‘considered a very good, world-class rugby player known for his powerful running, strong defense, and increasingly skillful distribution and kicking game, making him a highly influential midfielder for the Chiefs and a contender for the All Blacks.’ according to Google and D-Mac can change a game in a split second.

    The benches could be the difference on Saturday, and I think on balance the All Blacks have a better one, to be honest. Bugger!

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  42. Borderboy's avatarBorderboy

    Just hope Refit isn’t going to be throwing himself out of bed on Saturday morning to try and watch the ABs/Boks game.

    Liked by 3 people

  43. It’s barely been a year (I did chuckle)!

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  44. Your rugby schedule for tomorrow

    Right, here’s the plan:04:00 Samoa vs Fiji05:30 Australia vs Argentina08:05 New Zealand vs South Africa12:00 Canada vs Scotland13:30 USA vs Samoa14:45 Wales vs Fiji17:00 England vs Australia20:00 Union Bordeaux-Begles vs La RochelleAny less and you’re a casual, frankly.

    HG Rugby (@huwgriffinrugby.bsky.social) 2025-09-05T10:11:45.262Z

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  45. It’s interesting watching the anthems. Jesse Kriel looks like an android singing, Malcolm Marx looks soooooo incredibly bored and Eben is singing his heart out.

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  46. For NZ, half the team look on the verge of tears during theirs, which is kind of sweet.

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  47. Holy crap, NZ have scored inside 2 mins.

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  48. And now it’s absolutely pissing down in Eden Park.

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  49. Narawa scores a great try, then gets a knee in the ribs and gets replaced by DMac.

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  50. It’s got very greasy and turning into a bit of rucksy-dropsy.

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