Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Quins get a couple of late tries but Bath fairly comfortable winners in the end.
LikeLike
BB – good. Still haven’t forgiven bloodgate.
LikeLike
TRY Stewart after the clock goes red!
LikeLike
42-21 in the end, and prevented Dragons from getting any bonus points. (Sorry Iks!)
Quite pleased with the performance. Lots to work on, mind you.
And it was a very good match to watch.
LikeLike
Bonus point win Glasgow in the end. Good start.
LikeLiked by 1 person
NZ look so much better with Roigard at 9.
LikeLike
Morning all! Down in Morgan Bay, in the Wild Coast, my soul food place! Did a 15km walk along the beach, through the rain forests and up the cliffs. Saw whales and dolphins along the way. A glorious day! May the Boks step up to the plate in a similar fashion!
LikeLike
Sounds delightful Deebee.
LikeLike
Hell of a first half. NZ stormed to a 20-3 lead in 25mins, but Aus have come back well and it’s 20-17 at half time.
LikeLike
Other than a draw, it’s probably the best rtesult for the Boks (and Argentina, before I get ahead of myself) – Kiwis missing out on a bonus point, Aus getting nothing out of it.
LikeLike
Good first half to NZ v France, but in the second the Black Ferns are away off over the horizon. Don’t feel so bad at getting trounced by them now.
LikeLike
Possibly a little premature there Thaum? France have just scored 3 on the bounce and are only 13 behind, with 9 mins to play. 39-26.
LikeLike
Well, indeed!
LikeLike
(I may have spoken too soon, NZ score again)
LikeLike
First blood to Canada.
LikeLike
Ok, Ellie Kildunne decided to turn up and waltzes through the Canada defence to score.
LikeLike
The England scrum is dismantling the Canadians.
LikeLike
Well! Canada need to pull their socks up. The last couple of line-outs have been shocking.
LikeLike
Canada look a bit shell shocked, going into half time. England have been dominant. 8-21
LikeLike
Well, THAT was weird. Pumas kick the ball long. Kolbe touches it in goal, then drop kicks it forward, a Puma picks it up and scores! I reckon he was just kicking the ball across to someone else, but because it was a drop kick it counted as a goal line drop out.
Then Sasha F-M scores a brilliant try from his own kick through!
It had been pretty scrappy up to then.
LikeLike
In predicatable news, Zebre beat Edinburgh 31-28.
LikeLike
Bottemann did a boo-boo. 10 mins off. Canada score.
LikeLike
Can Canada get back into the match, with a player advantage? Daft tackle by Botterman gets her a yellow card.
Yep, they spin the ball wide, off the resulting lineout, and score.
LikeLike
Mark Carney in the crowd, head in hands at the last knock on.
Can you imagine our PM showing…emotion?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful cross kick from Sasha F-M right into the hands of Kolbe who makes up for his mistake! Boks lead 32-23.
LikeLike
Good lord, the cross kick from Sasha F-M! Kolbe didn’t even need to break stride to catch it and score.
LikeLike
How many penalties in the 22 are England going to get away with?
LikeLike
All of them :)
LikeLike
Apparently so! Now they’re back to 15 and have scored again.
LikeLike
That was the MOST outrageous dummy, from Sasha F-M, to score his hat-trick.
LikeLike
South Africa scored over 50 points now and out of sight.
LikeLike
Dave Ward’s being interviewed post match and his daughter keeps trying to eat the mic wind-shield.
LikeLike
Good way to catch Covid, which is apparently well on the rise again. But whatever you do, don’t take paracetamol to treat the symptoms as it might make you pregnant, or something.
LikeLiked by 2 people
God, the kit clash in Cardiff v Lions! Where’s the paracetamol?
LikeLike
Well, it’s all gone a bit Pete Tong for Cardiff. They were playing surprisingly well, and then decided to turn down a kick on goal to go for the corner, which ended up with a controversial 20-minute red card.
Then they turned down another kick right in front of the posts, and I think kicked it dead.
It’s 14-13 at HT, and the mister’s in a huff.
LikeLike
Not so huffy now. After getting back to 15 men, Cardiff regain the lead (which they’d obviously lost), and have now scored a BPT.
LikeLike
I would die of shame if I wore a Burger King logo.
LikeLike
A comfortable 33-20 at the end. Sorry, Deebs!
LikeLike
Connacht 24-8 up against Treviso. Somewhere, Claw is smiling.
LikeLike
Oh wait, try just written off, somewhat harshly.
LikeLike
Thauma, Lions will be competition basement dwellers this season. It’s a rotten set up, like Man U but without the trophies and money.
The Boks, on the other hand, played some sublime rugby, especially in the 2nd half. In Sacha F-M and Manie Libbok we finally have two fabulously gifted 10s, who can rip a game apart in the blink of an eye. Wish I was in London next weekend!
LikeLike
Saints might have over-done it with the pre-match fireworks. There’s a haze over the ground.
Then they cock-up the kick-off and the ball only goes 5m. Banging start to the season for them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s good to see Exeter continuing their tradition of terrible haircuts. Iosefa-Scott, one of the props, has a shaved-skullet, with his hair pulled into a ponytail.
LikeLike
One for Deebee. (That kick for Kolbe’s try is a thing of beauty.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Took Exeter going a try up inside 4mins to wake up Saints. They’ve now scored 5, unanswered, before half time. 33-7.
LikeLike
Saints hammering the Chiefs. They have a new French 10 and a day-boo for a young Italian and they’ve scored 5 tries. 4 of those in 13 minutes apparently.
LikeLike
Main highlight was, of course, Ashton trying to pronounce ‘Todoro’.
LikeLike
3 tries for Chiefs in the second half! The fightback is on!
LikeLike
Saints have let Exeter right back into this match. 19 unanswered points in the second half. 33-26 with 12mins left.
LikeLike
And a 4th, although looks like Manny Feyi-Waboso has done a hammy or got cramp while scoring. 33-33
LikeLike