Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
So far, Sasha FM is proving himself not to be a flash in the pan.
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Moodie walking a tightrope, lucky that his deliberate knock-on wasn’t reviewed.
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Deebs happy that Piastri’s the ref….
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George Ford >>>>> Sasha FM (for drop goals at least).
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Well poop. Sarries have scored 2 tries in the first 5 mins.
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You might be better going out for some more shopping, Refit…
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Ref completely wiped out there by Willis. Sub ref on. It’s all happening, mainly against Bristol.
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3 tries to Saracens and Bristol have lost another back to injury. Now the ref’s injured and the officials are reshuffling.
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Willie le Poux is still the fastest man on the pitch! And it’s all kicking off….
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I believe the term is ‘proper humping’. 43-5 with 30mins still to play.
Although Faz did just run out of shot-clock for the last conversion, so that’s funny.
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Oh FFS. Rees-Zammit’s now being helped down the tunnel.
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Marmion has scored a hat-trick, so that’s something.
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Final whistle Bulls 39 – 31 Leinster, and the handbags are flying again. Two matches and two losses for Leinster against South African teams missing all their international players … oh dear!
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Thomond Park is looking a bit windy.
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Can Saracens please stop scoring. 50-17. At least there’s only a minute left.
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Bugger. Glasgow lose at Benetton to what appears to be a drop goal in the 80th minute. Bugger again.
At least we’re still above Leinster…
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LRZ’s was at least walking unaided, after the match. Albeit with a bit of a limp.
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Told you Refit, get yourself down to Bristol with your boots. Bound to get a game. (And then probably end up injured again after 5 minutes).
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There was one point last year when so many Ulster backs were injured that I thought that I might stand a chance.
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Got my pitch perfected:
Post-menopausal 60-kilo weakling seeks position with professional Northern Irish rugby side. Can throw and catch, which is more than can be said for some of youse. Running might be asking a bit much but as long as there’s a lit fag waiting at the try-line might be achievable.
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Could be a double act with the dog, who would make an excellent scrum-half. She is small (well, compared with my previous hounds) and dainty-looking, but has muscles of steel, bones of granite and is very sneaky. Moves like a ninja assassin: silent and quick, but deadly when there’s a goal in mind.
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Munster win, but Cardiff manage two bonus points at the last minute. Munster don’t have the TBP.
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Score was 23-20. If Cardiff had someone who could kick a goal, they’d have won.
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Real Rugby Update, post game pub proviso to be taken into consideration.
Dunbar welcomed local rivals North Berwick to compete for the Dale Trophy. The Trophy is named for Tommy Dale, a farmer who was a long standing member of Dunbar but whose farm was actually closer to North Berwick. I played with his sons, Dougie and Ronnie who were both a fair bit older than me. Tommy is no longer with us and Dougie, poor Dougie is likewise not here. I loved that guy, he was absolutely off his rocker in that public schoolboy way in that he just looked for fun all the time.
Anyway, in a howling wind Dunbar took the trophy back off North Berwick in no uncertain terms, 82-0 was the final score and to be honest if the weather wasn’t so bad it would have been a lot more.
Ronnie took great delight in awarding the trophy to Dunbar, it having resided with our near neighbours for the last six years.
That leaves Dunbar third in the East League 1 table, we will probably beat Langholm, who lie second, when they take the trip up here to us, then there is Murrayfiled Wandereers who has chugging along nicely have three wind out of four so far.
The big rival at the moment is unbeaten Haddington, who were the club that used to poach players from Dunbar.
I want to beat them, badly – if the contributors here remember that reference
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Boks really made heavy weather of that win yesterday. I thought once we got a couple of tries ahead that the taps would open, but didn’t expect it to be from the other end! Argentina really scrapped fantastically all the way. Another five minutes and I reckon Razor would be doing his breakdancing moves somewhere in Mordor.
Still, really pleased with the win and retaining the RC. Also seeing some new players coming through over the season. Lots of depth in most positions, with the exception of hooker, number eight and possibly 9 going forward. Eight should be a position of real strength, except the silly buggers (Louw and Hanekom in particular) keep getting cracked. Nine could be okay depending on how quickly the likes of Hasheem Pead and a couple of other youngsters come through.
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Tomos Williams might be taking the ‘chippy 9’ persona a little far. He’s just had a talking to from the ref for mouthing off.
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Saints were all over Glaws in the first half (7-31 at HT), but they’ve decided to self-destruct in the second. They’re on their 3rd yellow card, coming just after they’ve gone back to full strength from being down to 13 for 5 mins. Scrums even went uncontested for a bit, due to a combination of cards and injuries.
Currently 28-34 to Saints, with 15mins to play.
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Ooh, Glaws have just taken the lead – the loose-head who came back on for an injury with a lovely line and swan-dive. 25-34.
But wait! Ross Byrne has just been binned for a deliberate knock-on (he was in no position to catch the ball, no matter how much Ugo protests) and Saints score the pen to go back ahead. 35-37.
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Saints fans can breath now, just about
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breathe
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Well, that’s some crap news to start the day.
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It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
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Absolutely awful.
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If Cardiff had someone who could kick a goal, they’d have won
Kicking was difficult in the swirling wind – luckily, we had someone who had the forethought to take the dg and the skill to pull it off
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George Ford’s (hitherto unknown) Irish cousin?
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Boks really made heavy weather of that win yesterday
Didn’t really see enough of the RC – caught the 2 games where NZ got stuffed, plus Arg/Aus
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Rugby is on hold in this house right now…
#1 son – who is at university in Limerick – broke his leg last Monday week at the trials (having just scored a try by charging down the opposition 10) – Astroturf the chief culprit – boot stuck and force of the tackle did for his ankle ligaments and then the fibula. He might be back by Christmas.
#2 son is rehabbing after an ACL reconstruction in July – maybe back late Spring
#3 son had a MRI on Monday – we thought he had a torn meniscus but instead it’s a stress fracture of the tibia – he is still walking around though so hopefully rest will do the trick
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Triple-ouch!
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Ooh, I’m wincing from here…. Hope the boys recover OK, Trisk. (Although, would you be disappointed if any of them said after this, “Bugger it, that’s us done with rugby.”)
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caught the 2 games where NZ got stuffed
All you needed to see. The rest is irrelevant.
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Jeez, Trisk, I hope all your lads recover quickly and fully. Not nice as a parent! Or as the kid..
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Breast of Duck to the Trisklets
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Joe Marler on Sleb Traitors!
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Sorry – didn’t see other posts until now!
Trisk, so sorry about your three sons (and that sounds like something out of a nineteenth-century Russian novel).
I hate fake pitches; I think they are dangerous. Number one son as a case in point.
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Marler put to good use pushing a large and heavy object up a hill.
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That’s no way to talk about Stephen Fry!!!
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It looked like Fry was putting in at least as much effort as Marler, which is to say not much, until the last hilly bit.
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If anyone is lurking in Lagos this weekend, you could pop down to Alaro City (a major new integrated housing, retail, commercial development) to watch Nigeria’s Green Falcons take on Ghana’s Leopardesses. Alaro City is the sponsor, and is funded by a comapny called Rendevour, that is building these kinds of large new ‘cities’ in a number of African countries. Based in the UK. Good to see corporates getting behind women’s rugby in Africa!
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Thanks for all the good wishes
Although, would you be disappointed if any of them said after this, “Bugger it, that’s us done with rugby.”
#1 son is still itching to get back – watched the Munster / Cardiff game with him and he was quite good at analysing the issues with the Munster #9 Coughlan. He is a decent 9, and he reckons he’d have started for UL vs other unis if not for this.
#2 son also keen to get back – but we tend to have to light a fire under him regards the rehab – but I also “get it” that 6-9 months away is a long time at 17. Was a decent 10 / centre – but has grown bigger than me in last 18 months
#3 son – isn’t as dedicated but the end of year trip to (probably) Spain will keep him engaged a while yet
Another bad injury might do it – Cathal’s ACL might have gone at gaelic football – which he plays in parallel – if it hadn’t happened at rugby
I’ll keep you all updated
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