Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Not a good night for Newcastle so far. Ended the first half 31-0 down to Sale.
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Newcastle score at the start of the second half! Unfortunately for them, Roebuck scores his second for Sale 10mins later and the score is 38-5.
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Not watching, but just checked score and it looks like Munster 15 – 19 Embra at Thomond Park. Also, Scarlets down 0 – 17 at home. Oh dear.
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0-24 now.
So Edinburgh lose to Zebre but are now beating Munster away? Typical…
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Previous comment aged badly in under a minute…
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Another couple of tries for Sale, including a 3rd for Roebuck. Final score 57-5.
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BB – ooh, one point in it! At least you’ll get the LBP, if not perhaps another? 0-34 to the Stormers now, but it’s not over.
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Stormers 34-0 up against Scarlets. Didn’t think they’d win so comfortably (3 to go), but a great start to the season for them. Scarlets with a chance in the last minute. Intercepted, but Scarlets haul them in! Eventually Scarlets kick it out over their own dead ball line.
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Bah! Trying to upload a pic, but not working.
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Imgur is now blocked in the UK, so don’t use that. Try https://postimages.org/?
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Thanks Refit, still no luck! No sweat, it wasn’t an earth-shattering picture.
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Oh FFS, Feyi-Waboso goes high into contact with Carrington and it’s head-on-head. Carrington is down and receiving treatment. Completely accidental 50-50 challenge. Looks like Bristol are losing another player.
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Second week in a row, we’ve had a ref limp off. Luke Pierce has cramped up over at Northampton and is replaced by one of the assistants.
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Bill Mata flying down the wing and scoring in the corner! Bristol leading 8-0 after 25mins.
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Balls. Some lovely play by Exeter, after Bristol cough up the ball, leads to Slade scoring under the posts. 8-7
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Tom Jordan doesn’t go low in the tackle and hits Exeter 8 in the head with his shoulder. I would say it’s a red. Ref agrees – 20min red.
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Exeter take advantage of the extra man and score their second try. With the clock in the red, Bristol stick it in the corner and set up a maul, but Exeter defend well and hold them up. 8-14 at half time.
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Bates is forced to be subbed, as his mouthguard prompts an HIA check. On 50mins Bristol are back up to 15, with 3 scrum-halves on the pitch.
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Genge crumbles the Exeter scrum and the ball is put into the corner. They get the maul right this time and roll over the line. Sam Worsley kicks the conversion and Bristol are back in the lead. 15-14.
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Bristol back down to 14. Max Pepper gets a yellow for deliberate knock-on in the tackle.
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Bugger, looks like Genge has tweaked his calf.
Exeter set a maul and go backwards, then sideways. The ref calls “use it” 3 times and they don’t Bristol scrum.
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Exeter get a pen at the scrum and stick it in the corner. This time they get the maul right, but Bristol stop them illegally. Ball back in the corner and a warning for Bristol.
Another good maul, Exeter recycle and score. Harding gets a yellow for dropping it. Bristol down to 13.
Hang on, Exeter players leave the lineout before the ball is thrown in, so everything’s scrubbed and Bristol get a free-kick and back to 15.
Bristol still lead 15-14.
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80th minute, Bristol get a pen 10m inside the Exeter half, just in from far touchline. Shot called. It just goes over and Bristol win!
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Slade looks shell-shocked at the loss. Bristol look absolutely knackered. 12th loss on the road for Chiefs.
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C’mon the Bris! Can’t say the same for the Lions who may well lose every match this season. They’re already looking beat before they get on the pitch.
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Think I’m actually backing Bath on ‘Bru, but anyway!
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Finn back for Barf.
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Only Edinburgh can go to Munster and batter them up front, only to play 35+ minutes a player short, two down for around five minutes or more.
We’ll draw a veil over that.
The big news in Real Rugby is that Dunbar travelled to Portobello today and came away with a 26-49 win. With Haddington battering Langholm 50-27 that leaves unbeaten Haddington top on 25 points with Dunbar in second on 22.
We entertain Haddington next Saturday – should be a corker.
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TNT continuing their discover of Finn being quite a good rugby player…
Just as he gets a yellow.
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Ouch! Tomos Williams just took a punted ball straight to the head, from close range.
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What was the card for, BB?
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He was on the floor at a ruck, and couldn’t resist giving the ball a wee nudge with his foot. Costly, as Gloucs scored a couple of tries in his absence.
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Bearbery having a shocker at the restarts – knocked two forward. He replaced Bayliss who caught every one.
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Close win for The Weedge over the Drags – 49-0. (Sorry Iks).
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I hope we don’t get nilled at home.
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And there we go with a loose pass and the Bulls have a 5m line-out.
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Amazingly, we escape and now we have a line-out in their 22.
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Oh, not the 22. In their half, though!
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Thauma, not a great match so far.
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Deebee, I like the way we are trying to play, but there are too many mistakes in it!
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TRY McCLOSKEEEYYYYYY!!!!
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Got a bloody nose in the process.
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Being blood-subbed off for Postlethwaite.
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Then Stockdale knocks it on in our own 22.
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Then the Bulls knock it on again, but we’d given away a pen at the scrum, so we’re back to that again.
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We give away another penalty and I’m surprised we don’t have a warning yet.
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We give away another penalty, Bulls knock it on again, and now Rob Herring’s in the bin (without a warning). So Tom Stewart’s coming on.
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Bulls score at last, but I (and the crowd) think there was a knock-on again.
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The Bulls are quite aptly named. Does that make Ravenhill a china shop?
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So … 7 all at HT. A fair score.
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