Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Another try for Ravouvoo. Glaws knock it on in mid-field. Bristol go right, then all the way left. Moroni puts in a grubber that bounces up and the winger jumps to grab it in the air and score. 34-49 78mins.
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Mikey Austin looks to have scored for Glaws, with Edward-Giraud rolling his ankle in the build up. Unfortunately there was a forward pass. No more replacements for Glaws, they will finish with 14.
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Glaws lineout in the corner, but Moroni intercepts a pass and hooks the ball into touch. Bristol somehow win again.
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Just watched the highlights of the Edinburgh game. One of the Benetton players hits an Embra player late with a shoulder to the head. As far as I can tell from the video and the comments below he only gets a yellow. Not sure why. (About 2.00 minutes into the video).
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If I was Embra, I would be right onto the citing officer for that. And making a complaint about the ref downplaying it.
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Beautiful team TRY through the backs touched down by Lowry!
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Kok is so entertaining to watch.
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Each to her own, I suppose. The Sharks have to be the worst coached side in the URC.
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They are certainly much less than the sum of their parts. And they have some huge lumps, too.
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TRY KOK!
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NO THANKS!
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:-D
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And Siya scores off a maul.
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Kolisi, that is, not the Siya who keeps missing the kicks.
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5-20 at HT, although it is lucky for Ulster that the clock ran out there.
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Ulster scrum being completely mullered in second half, and Mapimpi scores.
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Sharks’ TH having a visit to the bin with review for upending Mikey Lowry.
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TRY Stewart – by running after a kick-through! Being checked, though. And there was another dodgy tackle on Lowry in the run-up.
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Mapimpi now joining Koch in the bin with a review.
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Try is good! 12-27.
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Mapimpi has a 20-min red.
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Leicester vs Bath is a lot of fun, with Arundal versus Radwan a little sub-battle. Bath took an early lead, but Tigers got ahead just after half time. Currently 19-17 on 59mins.
Also and interesting matchup between James O’Connor and Finn. I didn’t realise that they were so close in age (JO’C 35, Finn 33). JO’C seems to have been around for so much longer.
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Interesting ref move: he’s warned McCann that if he gives away another penalty, he’s going to the bin, and also warned the Sharks that one of them will go to the bin as well if they shout at McCann.
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Sorry, but every time Mike Lowry is mentioned, this is all that goes through my head
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Well, TOT has gone to the bin instead for too many team penalties.
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And that results in a penalty try for the Sharks.
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It’s all going mad. Late tackle on Kok, then a Shark injured with stretcher coming, and thunder and lightning threatening to stop play.
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Ulster go for the corner and maul over!
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And that’s (slightly controversially) the BPT!
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But Sharks score again. 9 mins to go.
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That was a brilliant conversion. It fell off the tee, Ulster started rushing up, so he just picked it up and dropped it.
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High drama at the end, at Welford Road. Bath have taken the lead, through a penalty. In the 80th minute, Tigers get to Bath’s line and there’s some heroic defence to keep them out. Tigers try to go wide, but a lazy arm from du Toit catches a Tiger’s player round the neck. It’s a yellow and a penalty and Searle slots it from wide out to win 22-20.
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Ulster win 26-34! Did not expect to win this, although shame we let them have 4 tries.
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Tiggers vs Bath was a proper old scrap. Leicester pinch at the end and maybe just about deserved the win. Some outrageous stuff from Finn again, but his kicking radar was a wee bit off today, missing half his kicks.
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Stevie Ferris has just called for Plumtree to be sacked in the morning. Shut up, Stevie.
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Have to agree with @gwladrugby, esp considering we have a game in hand:
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In other good news, Munster are up 7-14 at Croke Park.
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Breakaway try from Ethan Coughlan!
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7-21 at HT. Much like the last match, the enemy are very dominant at the scrum, but otherwise being outplayed.
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Sale were doing okay against Sarries until the end of the first half, when O’Flaherty got a yellow (and penalty try) for tackling the Sarries 14 in the air, over the try line. Then 2 mins into the 2nd half, LC-D get’s a 20-min red for head contact. Sale also concede another try. 29-14
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Saracens’ 19 year old winger, Noah Calouri, looks very special. He has a lovely gliding run and an insane vertical leap. Just scored his second. 34-14
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Second half has been 20 minutes of Leinster in Munster’s 22, and not managing to get the ball down over the line.
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At least with Luke Cowan-Dickie going off, we don’t have to see his terrible mullet any more. Can take the lad out of Exeter, but can’t take the ‘orrible lid off the lad.
Calouri’s just skipped through a tackle and scored his 3rd. 41-14
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Munster finally manage to get the ball away, but knock it on in the Leinster 22.
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Due to HIAs and the red card, scrums have gone uncontested, even though Sale have a player who can and has played both sides before. I smell shenanigans.
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Even James Lowe’s man-bun is coming apart. It’s 7-24 with 6 minutes to go, which means Leinster will have lost 3 out of 4.
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Refit – I think they have to list the player before the match starts? Pretty sure that’s at least the case for who can play hooker.
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Oof, a 7th try for Saracens. 48-14 and there’s still 20mins+ to play.
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which means Leinster will have lost 3 out of 4.
Trying not to giggle.
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