Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
He’s rusty! Stormers by 45!
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Huw Jones oot! (Achilles apparently – injury, not Ancient Greek bearing gifts) and Zander’s not back yet.
Stormers by 80.
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Ach, BB, that’s a real pity. Jones is a beautiful runner ball in hand and works so well with Sione. Still, it’ll mean Sione sharpening up. Weege by 39.
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It doesn’t seem to be too serious, just something they’re keeping an eye on. He should make the tour OK.
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Blimey, ten years to the day since the Glasgow Munster final in Belfast
I’m getting old quickly :-(
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0-3 Stormers! Salmaan Moerat off for a HIA and the Weege hot on attack!
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And the Weege score! They had a penalty but I missed how they scored. 7-3 and the Stormers have someone in the bin too.
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Stormers defence getting shredded early on. 14-3 to Glasgow. Stormers with a penalty out front and they’ll take the 3. And it’s 14-6.
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Glasgow pulling away a bit in the second half after a Stormers near catch-up: 33-18.
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Stormers hammered and Weege deserved winners. The Cape Town mob really aren’t as good as they like to think they are, especially their outside backs.
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Deebs, I thought the Stormers had enough possession and territory to do some damage – Rugby pass has a penalty count of 17 – 4 in their favour, but they just couldn’t get anything going.
Their defence was awful and Glasgow shredded them – five tries to two with the first of the two being more than a bit lucky. Mind the second was very well taken, but that was about it in attack from the Stormers.
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Only seen the highlights. Nice try for Horne in the second half, but my favourite was the funky lineout one earlier on. Several Glasgow players waving imaginary yellow cards at the ref at one point which I’m less keen on. Pleased to see them through though, thought it was miraculous that they won the thing and this is a good effort at backing that up.
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CMW, Glasgow’s scrum squeaked like a floorboard in a Scooby Doo haunted house, Murphy Walker at tighthead has been injured all season, he came into that game with 50 minutes on his clock this year.
Unless Zander Fagerson is back for the next game I can’t see Glasgow getting any further, and as good as Venter was they could do with Jack Dempsey being back. I think I read Matt Fagerson is out for the season.
Glasgow’s next game will be Leinster away or Scarlets at home.
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@Ticht – some superfluous words at the end there…
Fourth in the table and in the semis is an achievement in itself, but I hope they do manage another upset however unlikely it may be.
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Murphy Walker at tighthead
Initally read that – of course – as Murray Walker. Unless I am very much mistaken…. I am very much mistaken….
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Never agood idea to annoy Bulls in their own field. Looks like Edinburgh did just that and are now suffering.
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I missed the first half and first few of the second. Got the time wrong. Bulls have been decent enough from what I’ve seen, but I gather Edinburgh were good in the first half.
42-28 into the final quarter and both sides a man down. Bulls doing their best to unravel now, as they often do in the last 20. Falling off tackles and throwing silly passes and Edinburgh score a good – and important – try. 42-33 and plenty of time left.
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My dad’s off to Ashton Gate in a bit. Fingers crossed Bristol perform well against Quins.
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Both sides flinging it about now without doing any damage. Another Bulls score, it’s all over; Edinburgh score it’s squeaky bum time.
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And that’s that. Bulls secure a home semi against either the Sharks or Munster, if I’m not mistaken.
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Cool. My broadband’s gone wonky, so I keep losing TNT Sports. Hopefully it doesn’t drop too much during the match.
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Bristol score within 2 mins! Get in!
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Looks like a long afternoon for Scarlets. 12-0 down already.
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2nd try bang on 5mins, Batley stretching out an arm. 14-0, the perfect start.
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Oof, Quins lineout in the Bristol corner. The lift isn’t great, but it causes hesitation in the Bristol defence and Northmore runs through a huge gap to score…? Cancelled for a forward pass to him though.
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Quins held up on a second attempt and Bristol clear their lines.
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12-7! Scarlets on the board!
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Nice Quins try. Murley calls for a chip into space, in the Bristol 22 and he gathers and scores. 14-7
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Bristol scrum in the middle and they run a lovely wrap around that puts Ravouvou into the corner. Last pass was right on the edge, but ruled okay. 19-7 to Bristol on 22mins.
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Big Bill furra linee! Taking two Quins players with him. 26-7.
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How does Joe Launchbury still look so young?
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AJ McGinty coughs up the ball in the middle of the pitch. Quins chuck it wide to Murley who takes one step inside, then tears down the wing to score. 26-12.
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And a hacked through try to finish the half! 15-14 to Leinster, but Scarlets are clinging on. Result isn’t in doubt, but the Blue Bastards are being made to work for it!
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And that’s half time. Bristol have coughed up the ball a few times in Quins 22, but have been pretty much in control the whole match. Had a message from my dad and he seems pretty happy so far.
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Half time in the Prem:
Bristol 26-12 Quins
Exeter 5-20 Sale
Glaws 22-14 Saints
Tigers 14-6 Newcastle
Sarries 19-7 Bath
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Pissing it down in Dublin, which will make it even more of an arm wrestle. Dare I say Leinster looked a wee bit rattled at times in the first half?
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Sun’s out. Make yer bloody mind up! Too easy. Scrum on the 22, a dink over the top and Leinster score. Checking the grounding but it’s fine. They may have checked if he was ahead of the kicker though. 22-14
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5th try for Bristol, Ibitoye in the right wing, after Ravouvou made a break down the left one. 31-12.
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FFS, the Quins 10m Benson, throws the worst dummy in the world. Unfortunately about 5 Bristol players buy it and he saunters into the 22, before passing to Dombrant to score. 31-19.
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And they score again, almost straight from the restart. 2 missed tackles and a break from the kick off and suddenly Quins are being stopped under the posts. They recycle and score. 31-26 52mins.
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Grondona over from short range, 6 for Bristol. 38-26
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Ibitoye scores in the opposite corner. Lovely play by Bristol ends with him shrugging off two tackles to dive over. 45-26.
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Janse van Rensberg under the posts, off a crash ball. 52-26 with 10mins to play.
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1/2p is on for Quins.
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That’s full time. Bristol are in the playoffs. I’m sure that’ll be a breeze…fuck, we’ve got Bath.
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Full time in the Prem:
Bristol 52-26 Quins
Exeter 26-30 Sale
Glaws 41-26 Saints
Tigers 42-20 Newcastle
Sarries 36-26 Bath
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The Sharks have just ‘broken their bagel’, according to the commentator.
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Sounds painful.
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Well I watched the Scarlets game and while it was a comfortable enough win for Leinster in the end I can now more easily believe that they lost to Northampton.
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Conor Murray has just equalised the scores with a VERY long kick at goal. 24 all with a couple of minutes to go.
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