Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
No cards? With the Boks playing?
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You’re right. Poor French are bound to boil over with frustration at some point.
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France haven’t beaten the Boks in Paris since 2005, their 30-26 win in Marseille being the last win. Is that significant?
@deebee
My impression is that France are all about development – they’re not going to put out the espoirs to get beat 50-0, but a tough match where they put SA to the pin of their collar but come out 4-5 points down won’t worry them.
They’ll have tried Ntamack at 10, given a run to LeGarrec.
Cros, Ollivon, Alldritt – are missing (different reaons maybe) but it’s still a good pack and good forwards on the bench
Looking forward to seeing it
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Strangely, we have an Ireland XV playing Spain tomorrow as well
Ireland XV: Michael Lowry; Robert Baloucoune, Jude Postlethwaite, Dan Kelly, Shayne Bolton; Harry Byrne, Ben Murphy; Michael Milne, Tom Stewart (capt), Tom O’Toole; Evan O’Connell, Darragh Murray; Alex Soroka, Ruadhan Quinn, Paul Boyle.
Replacements: Lee Barron, Alex Usanov, Scott Wilson, Diarmuid Mangan, David McCann, Nathan Doak, Cathal Forde, Zac Ward.
Spain are 14th in the rankings and Japan 13th
Backline looks good.
Pack also – though I can’t help feeling starting Boyle and benching McCann is weird. Boyle is a good club player, but McCann looks a future test player – we kind of know Boyle’s “ceiling” but not McCann. Forde seems to be replacement 10 – he’s really only a centre who can kick goals. Better to give Jack Murphy a run
(and I know I seem to be getting on Thaum’s good side by bigging up Ulster lads)
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Trisk, I’m a bundle of nerves already. The Boks are also missing a few key forwards, notably Ox Nche, Kwagga and Wessels (also for different reasons), as well as a number of longer-term injuries to Malherbe at TH and two of our best next gen loosies in Cameron Hanekom and Elrigh Louw. Also Evan Roos from the Stormers, who’s been ripping it up in the URC this season, but just doesn’t seem to fit the team ethos and/or playing style.
That said, this is about as strong as the side can be with what’s available, the odd quibble aside. Think we’re in for some humdingers this weekend!
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Also Evan Roos from the Stormers, who’s been ripping it up in the URC this season, but just doesn’t seem to fit the team ethos and/or playing style
Probably said this before – saw him playing for Stormers at Thomond (Oct/Nov 2022) – when distancing was still a thing. I thought he was a guaranteed Springbok by now.
If I said he’d a weakness, I’d say a tendency to spill the ball in contact, but it must be a cvase face doesn’t fit for “reasons”
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You’re doing a cracking job there, Trisk!
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Trisk, one rumour is that his old man is the problem, which would be sad if an interfering git of a parent is the issue, but the other is that he’s got an attitude problem in the camp. I’m not sure if either is true, frankly, but after the 2022 season, it was expected that he’d walk into the Bok team as heir apparent to Duane Vermeulen – not sure if it went to his head or not. He’s also had discipline issues and can be a bit of a selfish glory boy, two things Rassie doesn’t like in a forward.
That said, he seems to be growing up and letting his game do the talking now, so maybe we’ll see him in a Bok jersey again in the not too distant future, especially as both Louw and Hanekom seem to be fairly injury prone. Hanekom in particular is talked about as being a hybrid of Vermeulen and Pierre Spies – brawn and brain (Duane) and pace to burn (Spies).
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A few long overdue comments about France for tomorrow.
First of all, this is not the revenge game that crap publications like Planet Rugby try to sell.
France look at itself first and foremost so this is the first important game before the 6N and a way to enlarge the squad.
The squad is quite depleted, mostly injuries: Mauvaka, Baille, Ollivon just back, Cros, Dupont obviously, Jalibert, Danty, Buros and a couple others who probably would’ve made the bench. Alldritt is just cooked and will be back.
Deebee is not familiar with Boudehent and yet seems to know Montagne and Erdocio ( the starting props) who only played 2 or 3 times for France. Galthié has named a rather weak bench, specially the front row, and the team will be rusty.
I expect a confortable win for SA, as I think France is weaker than 2 years ago and SA stronger.
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A few long overdue comments about France for tomorrow.
First of all, this is not the revenge game that crap publications like Planet Rugby try to sell.
France look at itself first and foremost so this is the first important game before the 6N and a way to enlarge the squad.
The squad is quite depleted, mostly injuries: Mauvaka, Baille, Ollivon just back, Cros, Dupont obviously, Jalibert, Danty, Buros and a couple others who probably would’ve made the bench. Alldritt is just cooked and will be back.
Deebee is not familiar with Boudehent and yet seems to know Montagne and Erdocio ( the starting props) who only played 2 or 3 times for France. Galthié has named a rather weak bench, specially the front row, and the team will be rusty.
I expect a confortable win for SA, as I think France is weaker than 2 years ago and SA stronger.
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Flair, they’ve got Marchant between them, they’ll be fine!
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Galthié has named a rather weak bench, specially the front row, and the team will be rusty. I expect a confortable win for SA, as I think France is weaker than 2 years ago and SA stronger.
Underdogging of the highest order! Um, hope you’re right though!
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I don’t do underdogging, I leave it to the Irish or the Scots.
There is also a very interesting game between France & SA U20s , played a bit earlier. L’Equipe TV is showing it live.
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I don’t do underdogging, I leave it to the Irish or the Scots.
There is also a very interesting game between France & SA U20s , played a bit earlier. L’Equipe TV is showing it live.
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Japan are a lot of fun so far.
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Japan 12 in trouble for a tip-tackle on Farrell – gets a yellow. BO’D thinks he’s hard done-by.
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Ireland kick to the corner, but Kelleher cocks it up by dummying the throw and Japan clear their lines.
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Ireland finally get their shape and lines right and work an overlap on the left, Crowley getting the last pass and running under the posts. He converts, 10-0.
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BOD always argues against cards for that sort of thing. Of all people!
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TIMONEEEEYYYY!
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It feels like Ireland weren’t really taking Japan seriously for the first 15mins and were surprised by how…competitive they were being. It seems like they’ve now got their heads in the game and started playing properly.
Timoney finds a gap and runs in from quite a way out. 17-0.
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Neither O’Brien nor Osborne are impressing me. But hey, they’re Leinster players.
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Japan finally get a well-deserved try.
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Ooh, yellow for Stockdale right at the end of the half.
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Oh dear, Stockdale off for head contact with review. He seemed to come off much worse!
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Stockdale’s card stays yellow.
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I do love the folding-chair naughty step, for the yellow cards.
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Yes, they look very uncomfortable! And only two of them.
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Can we not find a 10 who can fucking kick? Or perhaps play Doak, who can?
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Jack Conan looks like a baddie from a 1920s-set noir telly programme.
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That was quite amusing – they way TNT cut their camera shots, it looked like Crowley had been replaced by Jack Conan.
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STOOOOOCKDALE!!!!
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Stockdale – flat-track bully ;)
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Shit, there was an off-side.
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I love how the commentary team have clearly explained to the viewer why that try was ruled out. Top work guys.
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Yeah, I’m not sure who was off-side; I think whoever did the charge-down? Wasn’t Stockdale.
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Put my granny in high heels on for O’Brien.
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What match are the commentators watching where they think O’Brien’s been great? Slack-jawed with amazement! I think he’s only NOT fucked up twice with the ball.
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This time, the replacements have had a positive effect. Two tries’ worth.
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Oh, that was lovely by Prendergast, to put O’Brien into space.
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Well, Japan are very unlucky on the scoreboard.
Ireland need the hairdryer treatment.
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They’ve only gone and given O’Brien motm. I am disgusted!
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O’Brien’s blamed the picking of non-Leinster players (‘new players’) for the scrappiness of the Irish performance in his speech.
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Ireland A team to play Spain at 16.00 (on RugbyPass):
IRELAND XV: Michael Lowry (Banbridge RFC/Ulster); Robert Baloucoune (Ballynahinch RFC/Ulster), Jude Postlethwaite (City of Armagh RFC/Ulster), Dan Kelly (Munster), Shayne Bolton (Connacht); Harry Byrne (UCD RFC/Leinster), Ben Murphy (Clontarf FC/Connacht); Michael Milne (UCD RFC/Munster), Tom Stewart (Ballynahinch RFC/Ulster) (capt), Tom O’Toole (Ballynahinch RFC/Ulster), Evan O’Connell (Young Munster RFC/Munster), Darragh Murray (Buccaneers RFC/Connacht), Alex Soroka (Clontarf FC/Leinster), Ruadhán Quinn (Young Munster RFC/Munster), Paul Boyle (Buccaneers RFC/Connacht).
Replacements: Lee Barron (Dublin University FC/Munster), Alex Usanov (Clontarf FC/Leinster), Scott Wilson (Queen’s University Belfast RFC/Ulster), Diarmuid Mangan (UCD RFC/Leinster), David McCann (Banbridge RFC/Ulster), Nathan Doak (Banbridge RFC/Ulster), Cathal Forde (Galway Corinthians RFC/Connacht), Zac Ward (Ballynahinch RFC/Ulster).
Sounds a more exciting team to me!
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I am looking forward to Trisk’s analysis of that match.
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I only started watching at 55 minutes, with Ireland 22-10 up. Was a bit of a blowout in the last 15. Looming forward to Scotland running the Kiwis ragged!
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Looking forward, even. Idiot.
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NZ quick off the blocks.
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