Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Well. That was shit defence.
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Watched the France SA U20s game. I already forgot most of it. Lots of errors, both teams played to their stereotype. France win 20/12. Meh…
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Thought Newell on the Kiwi LH side collapsed on the reset scrum?
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Also saw the end of the game in Dublin. Meh… Far more entertaining in Murrayfield.
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Too many errors from Scotland so far. Can’t afford that against the Kiwis.
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Finn getting his knee taped doesn’t bode well.
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Wonderful attack vs terrific defence. What’s not to like?
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Ooh, that was close for Graham.
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This is a much better match than the previous one.
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Hope Finn won’t end up mummified
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Looks like NZ are losing a winger for a bit.
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Held up again! Ah! No!
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Cyclops coming back on.
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How has there only been 1 score (and a penalty) in this match?
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I spoke too soon.
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That’s the match. Sucker punch on half time whilst a man down.
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They’ve got a Yank (or possibly a Canadian) commentating on Spain v Ireland A. Therefore the Irish fly-half is ‘Hairy Burn’.
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Ireland A playing some lovely rugby, but a couple of knock-ons doing for them.
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TRY Darragh Murray. 7-0.
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Or Da-RAH Murray, as the comms would have it.
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Spain score, but don’t convert. 5-7.
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I think I felt Schoeman running into De Groot from all the way down here.
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C’mon Scotland! Have to make this count!
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TRY Ireland (Milne?). And conversion.
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Caleb Clarke taken out by an arse to the face.
Savea binned for trying to pull down the maul Scotland score from.
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More like it! And a yellow for Savea! Kiwis falling apart!
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Nice one, Scotland!
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TRY Postlethwaite!
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FUCK YEAH!
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Steyne furra lineeeee!
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Scotlaaaaaand!
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3 points in it! Savea in the bin for another 4 minutes!
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Aaaaaarhg! No!
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TRY Baloucoooooune!
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Ireland on a point a minute at 28 mins.
Shocking by Schoemann.
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Oh that was close for Graham.
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YEEEEEESSSSS!
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NOOOO!
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As above… bugger!
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Spain score and don’t convert again.
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Wow! 17-all! Crazy shit!
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Scotland equalise! Yay!
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Another Kiwi in the bin?
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Another try by Robert … (big hesitation) … Balloo-cown.
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Lowry, who’s been playing out of his skin, is going off to be replaced by Zac Ward.
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TRY Boyle!
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And it’s 10-42 at HT.
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Jesus, what a kick by DMac.
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How the hell did Mackenzie score that???!?!
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Brutal!
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